A President’s Out-of-Body Experience

He wanted to ask, how was Brother Xiaoshan unreliable? But thinking about it, according to his records, he was actually pretty unreliable. His dad was right, Brother Xiaoshan was different from him. He was successful in the romance department just on the basis of his charm, and did not need to spend a single cent. If he truly wanted to settle down, he would have done so long ago. What “never considered about what he wanted in a lover because of work”, that was only a crappy excuse that wouldn’t work even on him. Gu Xiaoshan clearly had not played enough, and did not want to settle down.

Also, Brother Xiaoshan had made it very clearly. He did not like people of his type, he thought he was too stupid.

When Renzi thought of it this way, he realised his romance was doomed.

And the conclusion of this matter was, for the first time, never before happened, an unprecedented incident, in Renzi’s life, he — had insomnia.

Tossing and turning, there was only one thing in his mind — searching through the crowd, and there he stood — a line from the poems Renzi had forcefully crammed into his head while studying suddenly appeared. Those meaningful words were like a seed buried in the dirt, sprouting with the arrival of spring. His heart ached.

Renzi could not sleep, and wanted to go onto the balcony. He used to mock the ancient poets, that they were sick, looking at the moon in the middle of the night! Now, he was the one who was sick. Sitting on a deckchair at the balcony, he looked up at the full, round moon, while his heart was missing a piece.

“It hurts.” Renzi rubbed his chest, “It really fucking hurts.”

As Renzi was sighing away, he noticed a tiny red glow in the corner of his eyes. Turning his head, he discovered that the source of light was from a cigar. His dad was smoking the cigar on the balcony next door. Supporting himself on the railing, he leaned over them and yelled, “Dad! You can’t sleep too?”

When he saw Renzi, he huffed, “Why do you think I can’t sleep?”

Renzi immediately shrank, and could not say a word.

Old Mister Yu continued, “Why are you still not sleeping? What game are you playing?”

Renzi explained, “I’m not playing any games, I’m lovesick.”

Hearing that, Old Mister Yu’s headache worsened. Damn, this unlucky child actually can’t fall asleep? It’s a big problem this time.

Renzi’s abnormal behaviour persisted, and he did not get a good rest over the next few nights. Even in the day, he only walked around listlessly. No one had ever seen him like this before. Old Mister Yu felt his heart ached looking at him, and tried to think of ways to cheer Renzi up. He scrolled through Renzi’s social media accounts, and saw that he had a post a month ago, saying that he wanted to eat a certain brand of macaron from Paris, but as he was unable to go to France for the time being, he could only crave it. Old Mister Yu immediately summoned the butler, “Quick, get someone to deliver those macarons here!”

The butler replied, “This? At the end of last month, Young Master Gu had already sent them over. Second Young Master had so many that he’s now sick of them.”

Old Mister Yu was taken aback. He thought for a moment, “Then, what about that sports car Renzi liked? It wasn’t able to go through customs then, has it been settled yet?”

“That? Young Master Gu has also dealt with it already. It has long passed the customs, and is sitting in our garage right now.”

Old Mister Yu flew up in a rage, “Fuck! This unlucky child! Then, is there anything else that our Second Young Master likes?”

The butler was at a loss. “Anything that Second Young Master likes, he’ll get it himself. If he can’t get it, Young Master Gu would get it for him. Second Young Master doesn’t lack anything.”

Old Mister Yu was furious. “This fool, he has been completely bought over by these little bits of favour! Quick, go throw them all away!”

The butler was alarmed, “Ha-cube is also a gift from Young Master Gu, do we throw it away as well?”

Old Mister Yu was also startled. He calmed down, contemplated it, and suddenly found something wrong with the picture. “That Gu fellow is usually very stingy, why did he buy so many things for my foolish son?”

The butler did not have an answer, and only said, “Also, not to mention the cost. The most impressive thing is, every one of them are all things that our Second Young Master wants the most. Look at how thoughtful he is. What a good friend.”

Old Mister Yu only snorted in reply.

Yu Yuntao was now cohabiting with Zhi Xuan, and would only come back once every weekend. This was not anything out of the ordinary, Old Mister Yu occasionally even asked Yu Yuntao to bring Zhi Xuan over to spend the weekend. At the start, Zhi Xuan was still rather afraid of the old man, but he now knew that Old Mister Yu’s bark was worse than his bite. However, he still didn’t really like coming over, although he knew that Old Mister Yu was soft-hearted, but he really did not want to suffer that sharp tongue.

When Yu Yuntao came home during the weekend, he discovered that there was something wrong with his little brother. Asking the butler about it, the butler only replied, “Second Young Master caught a cold last night, and has a fever today.”

So, Yu Yuntao thought that Renzi was only dispirited because of his fever. Little did he knew, for the past few days, Renzi had not eaten nor slept properly, and would sit on the balcony every night. Last night’s winds were very strong, and he caught a cold from the chill.

However, this was already enough to make Yu Yuntao worry. After all, Renzi rarely fell sick.

A person who would rarely fall ill, once in a fever, he would take longer to recover.

Yu Yuntao asked if he had seen the doctor already, and what the doctor said. Hearing that it was not a serious illness, he was less worried. Old Mister Yu sat by the side, his face anxious, full of troubles. However, he felt that he should not let Yu Yuntao know about it, and was even more gloomy. Yu Yuntao thought that Old Mister Yu was only worried about the health of his youngest darling son, and so cracked a joke to liven up the atmosphere. “I was wondering why he was so quiet the past couple of days, so it turns out he fell sick! I think this is a good thing, just let him rest for awhile. When he recovers in a few more days, his leaping about would only frustrate others!”

Old Mister Yu replied, “Can he rest? He always makes people worry!”

Old Mister Yu wanted to say “it’ll be good if he could be more like you”. However, when he thought of how “like you, he is now gay”, his fury welled up again, and so remained silent. When Old Mister Yu kept quiet, the atmosphere in the room tensed up again. Yu Yuntao was also a person who was not talkative, no matter how awkward the atmosphere was outside, he would be fine with it. Still, at home, as a junior he had to lighten the atmosphere, and so tried some small talk. “Hmm, does Gu Xiaoshan know that he’s sick?”

Hearing the name Gu Xiaoshan, Old Mister Yu opened his eyes. “Oh? Why?”

“If he knew Renzi was sick, he would definitely come and take a look.”

Old Mister Yu snorted, “Why? Are they that close?”

Yu Yuntao laughed. “Are they still not considered close?”

Old Mister Yu was unhappy, “If they’re so close, then why would Gu Xiaoshan always con our Renzi?”

Yu Yuntao nodded, “That’s true, I also feel that there’s nothing great about Gu Xiaoshan.”

Old Mister Yu was again unhappy with his. “Eh, what are you saying? I’ve watched this fellow grow up, he’s smart and capable, what’s bad about him?”

Yu Yuntao was always very direct when speaking, “He’s very calculative and too stingy. It’s very irritating to work with him.”

“Him being stingy, what does that have to do with you?”

“It’s enough that he’s stingy, but this person is also very crafty. If you don’t watch him carefully, he’ll take advantage of you without you knowing about it. When Renzi was taking care of the company, wasn’t this the case?”

“That’s true, he really likes to do things on the sly. He really has guts, just like his father. But if you become friends with him, he’s still one of the most reliable ones. Look, after so many years, how many friends do I have? Many of the “honest” ones would just stab you in the back. At my age, there’s only Old Gu, whom everyone calls Old Fox, that I can trust.”

“Yes.” Yu Yuntao nodded, but truthfully, he also did not really like the actions of Uncle Gu. After all, this Gu Xiaoshan had inherited his genes from Old Mister Gu, and was very cunning. Old Mister Yu saw Yu Yuntao’s expression, and so asked, “Hey, if our Renzi was a girl, with Gu Xiaoshan, would it be ok?”

Yu Yuntao’s eyes widened. “What? Gu Xiaoshan is a gay.”

Old Mister Yu paused, then asked, “Oh, then if Gu Xiaoshan is a girl…”

“That wouldn’t work too.”

“Why wouldn’t it work?”

“Renzi would be bullied to death.”

“Is there even anyone who wouldn’t bully this child of mine?”

Yu Yuntao did not take his father’s words to heart, most likely because he would never imagine that his little brother, who was still chasing a female model only days ago, would become gay. It was also hard for him to imagine his big-hearted little brother would become sick from love troubles. Even if he personally witnessed Renzi reciting poems on the balcony in the middle of the night, he would also not think that he was love sick, and would instead quickly invite a priest over to exorcise the ghost possessing Renzi.

For Renzi to lay on his bed despondently, it was enough to shock people. Old Mister Yu seemed to have understood something. He walked into Renzi’s room and sat by his bed, “Are you turning yourself into Lin Daiyu 1? Then, you might as well gather up your courage and go woo him!”

Renzi supported himself up. “What do you mean? Didn’t you tell me I shouldn’t woo him? If I chase after him, we wouldn’t even be able to remain as friends. I thought about it as well, you were right! Those that I did not manage to woo, as well as those I woo-ed and broke up with, I no longer keep in contact with them. This is true. I don’t want to lose contact with Brother Xiaoshan.”

Saying that, Renzi felt tearful. “Actually, this is also good enough. I can occasionally stay over at his place, and he’s also willing to cook for me. It’s nearly like a marriage.”

Old Mister Yu spoke up, “Nearly your ass, getting an erection by yourself, can this be called a marriage? This is called widowhood! Can you grow a backbone?”