After Our Divorce, I Still Wore Your Jacket

Chapter 7

Yuan Ye was sprawled out on the sofa chair, eyes closed as he sunbathed. His phone started ringing. He reached a hand out and groped around. After answering, he squeezed a hum out from his throat in greeting.

The person calling said, “Come out. Let’s go drinking.”

Without even opening his eyes, Yuan Ye answered, “No.”

The other asked again, “Not even for tea?”

Yuan Ye’s eyes were still closed. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” Old Tu, the person on the other end of the line, questioned. “It’s a nice sunny day. Why are you holed up at home?”

Yuan Ye shifted onto his back from his side. He drew out his syllables, lethargically responding, “I’m lazy. Just got back yesterday and I’m tired.”

The other chuckled and asked him, “If you hadn’t brought it up, I would’ve forgotten. You’re done filming? What’s the situation? Nothing happened?”

Yuan Ye was too lazy to bother with him. He furrowed his brows and said, “Why are you so annoying.”

Old Tu cackled a few times, then announced, “Okay, quit being wishy washy. Hurry and come out. We’ll drink alcohol and eat meat.”

“Send your location.” After saying this, Yuan Ye hung up.

He had returned by plane yesterday and had originally intended on spending all day sprawled out at home. In all honesty, Yuan Ye was simply a lazy person. Not lazy in the way that meant he didn’t like moving, though. If it was for something he liked, he wouldn’t complain no matter how troublesome or tiring it was. He had even climbed the Himalayas before. However, for things that he didn’t enjoy or places he didn’t like, his entire being was lazy to an extreme. Going to film for the first episode of that show had taken only four days in total, but he still felt impossibly tired. His body needed to relax and his brain needed to rest.

He had moved a chair onto the balcony and curled up like a cat to nap. He stayed like that for half a day. It was comfortable, but he was also starting to get hungry.

Yuan Ye got up and tugged on a random change of clothes. He grabbed his phone and walked out the door, purposefully not driving. It was impossible to eat with Old Tu and not drink; this person was basically a giant vat waiting to get filled with alcohol.

When he got to his destination, he found it was a barbecue restaurant. Meat could be grilled on mesh grills. He walked in. Old Tu was already sitting on a tiny stool and using a fire iron to prod the coal. There weren’t individual rooms in this shop. It was only a large expanse of space covered by a tarp roof. A few walls separated the space into isolated areas. Yuan Ye guessed that it probably got quite rowdy here at night.

“You’re here?” Old Tu looked up at him. The man had a fairly square face and a beard on his chin.

Yuan Ye sat down so his back was facing everyone else. But right now, it was the middle of the afternoon. There weren’t any people around anyways. This table wasn’t big, only about a meter both ways, and also low to the ground. A larger person would probably feel really uncomfortable sitting on such small chairs and at such a small table. The decor in the room was the usual brick wall with concrete flooring. Many people who wanted to get barbecue were here for this fiery, smoky environment.

Yuan Ye lit a cigarette. He casually placed the box of cigarettes and his lighter on the ground. “Another shop?”

Old Tu finished fiddling with the coal and placed the mesh over it. He asked, “What do you think of this little shop?”

Yuan Ye replied, “Same old.”

Old Tu started laughing again. After completing the preparation and lighting a cigarette, he said, “It’s for Little Mei to play around with. Let her do as she wants.”

Yuan Ye grabbed an ashtray from a small table behind him. He placed it off to the side and commented, “So romantic.”

Yuan Ye and Old Tu had known each other for quite a few years. This person had previously been the owner of a teahouse. Yuan Ye had often gone to his teahouse to drink tea. After a few rounds of conversation, they had gotten to know each other. To this day, Yuan Ye still couldn’t remember what this person’s name actually was. Either way, he kept calling the other Old Tu. He had to be at least ten years or so older than Yuan Ye. Yuan Ye didn’t know what this person had done for a living in the past, but right now, he dabbled in whatever he found interesting. He owned teahouses, restaurants, and bars. Some profited while others didn’t. Regardless of whether they were earning money or not, though, this person didn’t seem to care too much.

Yuan Ye first ate some meat to fill his stomach with food before drinking with Old Tu.

When the two of them drank, they never really drank beer. It was always straight to the baijiu. Yuan Ye had an alright alcohol tolerance, but not to the extent that he never got drunk. When he drank too much, he would get rowdy and intoxicated too. He was willing to drink with Old Tu because ultimately, Old Tu’s personality fit Yuan Ye’s. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been able to become friends. The other had a type of carefreeness that had previously made Yuan Ye feel like they were the same type of person.

Living boldly and freely, being unbothered by all the matters of a mundane world. I do things because I enjoy them, not because I should do them.

Old Tu used his tongs to flip the meat on the mesh grilling plate. He cut the large piece of meat into little pieces; they sizzled and dripped oil. Yuan Ye picked up a piece and ate it. Then, he said, “Unhealthy.”

Old Tu scorned, “If everything was healthy, life would be meaningless.”

The owner of this shop wasn’t Old Tu. It was a twenty-something little girl. She opened the door and returned from outside. Upon seeing Yuan Ye, she took off her jacket and bounced over. She sat down beside Old Tu and greeted Yuan Ye.

Yuan Ye was familiar with her too. They chatted a bit.

She asked if they needed her to stay here and grill the meat. Old Tu freed a hand and patted her lower back, saying, “No need, I’ll do it myself. Go on and play.”

She smiled and said, “Then I’m really leaving. Don’t say I’m insensible later.”

The grin was still on Old Tu’s face. “I won’t. Go ahead.”

She stood up and told Yuan Ye, “Then I’ll go, Ye ge. Shout for me if you need anything?”

Yuan Ye made a noise of acknowledgment and waved at her.

After she left, Yuan Ye asked, “Still not gonna get married?”

Old Tu didn’t respond. He only shook his head. There was always a somewhat insincere smile on this person’s face. Others could never tell what he was actually thinking in his head. The girl just now had been with Old Tu for five or six years, starting from when she was twenty. Old Tu didn’t have a family or kids, and also refused to get married. He had always been like this. From twenty to twenty six, the little girl stayed with Old Tu. It had already been a few years since she graduated from university. She spent every day laughing, almost as if she didn’t worry about anything. Her life was pretty happy.

Yuan Ye wasn’t really the type to ask about others’ personal issues. He wasn’t interested in them either. It would be a blessing enough if he could figure out his own problems.

He didn’t continue prodding. He and Old Tu went back to chatting about random topics while drinking.

Old Tu filled Yuan Ye’s cup again. He asked, “When you went back this time, did you see that person?”

A cigarette dangled from Yuan Ye’s mouth. With one eye half shut, he scolded Old Tu, “I didn’t ask you, so don’t ask me.”

“You can ask. I’m not scared of you asking questions,” Old Tu smiled and said.

Yuan Ye shook his head and kept his mouth glued shut. He didn’t like others digging into his personal life, especially his love life. This was because Yuan Ye felt, from the bottom of his heart, that love was an extremely intimate topic. Why did he need to share it with anyone else? That was too unpleasant. Ultimately, he still felt that this was something that should only be shared between two particularly intimate people. If two people were in love, they would definitely be the closest to one another.

Yuan Ye drank cup after cup of alcohol. It was impossible that he wouldn’t get drunk. He didn’t have an absurdly high tolerance, so in the end, he felt a bit dizzy.

More and more people started walking into the shop. The area started getting noisier and noisier too. This made Yuan Ye’s brain feel muddled. When he drank too much, he could no longer control his thoughts. Those forgotten and unforgotten old memories would suddenly rise from the depths of his mind. He felt like his brain capacity wasn’t enough.

Earlier, someone had asked and he had refused to answer. Now, that person wasn’t asking, but he couldn’t shut up anymore.

Yuan Ye rested his arms on his knees. His hands casually draped down – his head was lowered too. A while later, he abruptly started, “There are two little kids on that show.”

Lao Tu lifted his eyelids and gazed at him. “They made you babysit?”

“Bullshit.” The yellow lightbulb above their heads was reflected in Yuan Ye’s eyes, making his gaze appear distant and melancholic as well. In this position, he rubbed the top of his head and lowly said, “……They’re really so young.”

“Just over twenty. The best age,” Yuan Ye added.

Lao Tu stopped talking. He sat across from Yuan Ye, eating meat and drinking alcohol. He remained quiet as he listened to Yuan Ye speak.

“That age is the bravest.” Yuan Ye scoffed, “I was fucking brave once, too. Who hasn’t gone through a period of being unafraid of anything?”

“You’re afraid now?” Old Tu cocked an eyebrow and asked.

Yuan Ye nodded. Then, he nodded again. He said, “I am…… How could I not be?”

That day, it was already night by the time Yuan Ye and Old Tu finished drinking. Yuan Ye called a taxi to get home. Without even showering, he sprawled out onto his bed and fell asleep. When one was in a bad mood, drinking was very liberating. This was also the reason he had left the house today. Sometimes, alcohol was exceptionally annoying, but others, it really was a treasure. Certain emotions couldn’t be released normally. Certain things wouldn’t allow themselves to be thought of without the help of alcohol.

Yuan Ye ultimately hadn’t said everything when he was drunk.

But he also didn’t want to keep talking. Particular topics weren’t to be shared with others.

He slept deeply, completely oblivious to his surroundings. In the middle of the night, he woke up because of his bladder’s protests. Yuan Ye furrowed his brows and got up to use the bathroom. Having slept for half the night already, the effects of the alcohol had pretty much completely worn off. He undressed and took a shower. The hot water sprayed down from above, brushing past his eyes and ears, then sliding down his collarbone and shoulder blades.

Before, his favorite thing to do had been to act like a hooligan when Fang Shaoyi was showering. The way the water flowed down Fang Shaoyi’s taut muscles was truly too fucking sexy. Fang Shaoyi had an amazing body. Even these days, when people on Weibo occasionally mentioned male celebrities’ physiques, someone would upload his pictures. Everytime fans did so, they would always say they wanted to lick the screen.

In the past, Yuan Ye had once latched onto Fang Shaoyi’s collarbone and glanced up at Fang Shaoyi from under hooded eyelids. He had purposefully smiled a wanton smile, then said, “They’re licking the screen. I’m licking you.”

Fang Shaoyi had squeezed his chin and told him to stop being coquettish.

Yuan Ye didn’t know what emotion “embarrassed” was at all. He had never felt it. Two men doing it was the most unprincipled thing. They spoke what they wanted to, did what they wanted to. Yuan Ye had never been the type to be wishy washy or self conscious. Wasn’t pleasure the ultimate goal of two men having sex?

Yuan Ye leaned against the wall in his shower. He gazed at his own reflection that appeared on the glass. He stared at his own face. After making eye contact with himself for half a second, he glanced at his torso. He wasn’t as built as Fang Shaoyi because he didn’t need to film movies, nor did he need to watch his figure. Sometimes, Fang Shaoyi even needed to have a gym instructor accompany him to his filmings so as to maintain the best body condition. Yuan Ye looked over himself from top to bottom, then heaved out a long sigh.

He was hard. What to do.

The alcohol was messing up his brain. As he showered, his head was filled with those things. This way, that way, this and that way – all Fang Shaoyi. Dressed, naked……

Yuan Ye closed his eyes. Replays of the first time the two of them had done the deed flashed through his mind. At the time, Fang Shaoyi had bitten Yuan Ye’s nose, then very gently kissed it. Yuan Ye had rushed him, asking, can you hurry up? I’m about to explode. Fang Shaoyi had disregarded his rushing, cocking an eyebrow and responding, then let me watch you explode.

Yuan Ye had turned his head away and cussed.

Too many scenes were appearing before his eyes. A storage of ten years that allowed him to retrieve memories at any time. Pages of recollections were flipped through quickly, until ultimately, they stopped on an overcast afternoon.

Fang Shaoyi’s eyes were terrifyingly red. He asked, “Have you made up your mind?”

Yuan Ye didn’t nod. He only blinked in silent confirmation.

At the time, Fang Shaoyi squeezed his eyes shut, hard. He yanked the chain with a ring dangling from it off his neck and threw it at Yuan Ye.

Yuan Ye reflexively reached a hand out to catch it. He just barely brushed the tail end of the thin chain. The metal ring slipped through his fingertips; when it landed on the ground, only an extremely soft clink could be heard.