Am I A God?

Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios

“Greetings, do you have any comments regarding the game?”

“I feel that the skill design’s illogical. For example, Lu Ban 7’s bullets, why are they ineffective when they hit other people?”

“Er... you’re saying...”

“Once targets are hit by bullets shouldn’t they have reduced speed? Wouldn’t they fall to the ground and bleed?”

“As Lu Ban 7 is a robot, even if he is slashed by weapons, it’s perfectly logical if he doesn’t die.”

“As a robot, he can repair himself. Isn’t it reasonable for him to heal himself?”

“This...”

“These are my opinions. I hope that you’ll consider them carefully. If the game becomes more logical, I’ll help promote the new game version.

Matcha was on the sofa typing his last sentence. He retracted his paw and licked the meat pad as he thought, “I’m using Zhao Yao’s Wechat account to give suggestions. Hope that they’ll consider them seriously. Mobile Legend’s too out of balance. It’s impossible to play without a proper revision.”

Latte looked in surprise at Matcha as he said, “Dad, you’re able to make them revise Mobile Legends?”

“Revising Mobile Legends?” Matcha slapped his cell phone as he said, “This is Zhao Yao’s Wechat account. If I type with this paw, I’ll be able to change the world in an instant.

“Ah!!!!!!” Latte looked astonished at Matcha as his orange fur stood on end.

Matcha laughed arrogantly as he stroked Latte’s head and said, “Do you realize how powerful your dad is?”

On the other end of the sofa, Lightning tossed around and gazed at Matcha and Latte as he thought, “That fellow’s sweet-talking his son again. Hmm, New Year’s boring. I feel like lazing around.”

Old cat was browsing in the group chat when he shouted, “Wow, take a look. Someone’s celebrating Fish Ball’s birthday in Cat Wonderland. Noodles sent out the photographs in the group chat.”

Lightning asked, “Celebrating Fish Ball’s birthday?”

Matcha said, “Didn’t he have a birthday last month?”

Old Cat was surprised and said, “Wah, a rich female cat’s celebrating Fish Ball’s fifth birthday. She wanted to celebrate his first to fifth birthdays and give him gifts for each birthday.”

The surrounding supercats were shocked. Matcha accessed the group chat and scrutinized the pictures and contents.

“His fifth birthday gift’s 500 000 dollars??” Matcha was feeling jealous. “The fourth birthday gift was a golden cat litter?!”

His expression became distorted as he shared the contents with his good friend, the Cat King of the West, Li Li...

“I feel much better.”

Old Cat shouted out in shock, “Wah! Li Li’s going to Cat Wonderland!”

“Wah, she charged into the birthday party!”

“Wah! Fish Ball’s leg was fractured!”

As the cats were watching Noodle’s group chat intensely, the room door opened and Roly Poly walked in.

Matcha glared, gritted his teeth and straightened his tail as he shouted, “This is the territory of the Royal Cat Guards. Why are you here?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to look for a fight.” Roly Poly slumped on the sofa and curled up his body. “Oh, this year’s bad. The Royal Cat Police Force’ annual meeting will be held at the street crossing’s food stalls.”

Matcha’s mind flashed with the images of the cats eating at the food stalls and frowned. “That bad?”

“Of course!” Roly Poly said, “Do you know how fierce the competition is among the supercats? The aliens cats are coming in throes to work on Earth to repay their debt to Zhao Yao. Jianghai’s catmint bar, cafe and major companies are all employing alien cats!

Even the alien cats are more popular in the Cat Wonderland! It’s getting harder for locals to find work!”

Roly Poly sighed. “An otaku cat like you doesn’t understand the hardship of the working cats.”

“Er...” Matcha recalled how he survived on the streets with Yellow Mud. “It’s alright. I feel it’s pretty easy to survive on the streets. There are food and drinks every day.”

“Didn’t you have the backing of Zhao Yao? Even if you don’t work, you could just borrow from the small loan platforms. Would the owners dare to ask you for money?”

“There aren’t any more small loan platforms...” Roly Poly sighed. “Before Zhao Yao left to fight monsters in other planets, he squeezed dry all the small loans platforms.”

Matcha was speechless.

The door was opened again and Dust Ball walked in dejectedly.

“Oh, the year’s bad.” Dust Ball looked at Matcha and said, “Matcha! Help the little kittens. Buy some Dust Ball catmint.”

“Catmint’s not selling?” Matcha was surprised. “Are you sure?”

Dust Ball vented her frustration and said, “Well, with such a high volume, even if the entire Extradimensional Belly was used to get all cats to produce catmint, it would not be sufficient. By using fake products, the quality of catmint drops and there are less customers.”

“I told you that your variety is too limited,” Matcha said. “You could sell tiger bone medicated catmint next year and promote healthy catmint.”

Dust Ball was surprised. “Tiger Bone?”

Matcha said, “Of course it’s fake. It’s a gimmick, do you understand? As long as it doesn’t kill the cats, you can brag that your product cures balding, stomach pain, fur shedding, sterilization and mouth inflammation. You can say that the catmint cures all ailments and promotes longevity.”

Dust Ball asked in doubt, “What if we’re exposed?”

Matcha patted his chest and said, “What’s there to be afraid of? I’ll use Zhao Yao’s Wechat to call the police and arrest those who expose us.”

“Tiger bone...” Latte said softly. “Salmon’s better. I would like to eat canned salmon.”

“I’ll consider it.” Dust Ball nodded while in deep thoughts. She complained, “Well, I have to pay all my supercat workers social security. They don’t accept cash and they aren’t keen on working. I asked Red Packet to work overtime and he resigned. Now, he’s staying at home daily while collecting rent on 30 houses...”

Matcha was shocked. “Red Packet’s that rich?! How did he do that? 30 houses, he must be enjoying himself.” Matcha started imagining the life of Red Packet.

...

In a large flat within the city center, Red Packet held an ’82 can while he stroked the female cat at his side and smiled. “In the year of 1982, because of good sunshine, the temperature rose and created warm ocean currents. The sardines were especially excited and the amount of swimming increased. Hence, the sardines were extremely delicious. Try it.”

...

As Matcha was fantasizing about Red Packet’s life...

Pom...

Elizabeth opened the door and Diana, Caesar and Catherine were behind her.

“This year’s bad.”

Matcha said, “What happened?”

Elizabeth said angrily, “Humans are foolish animals!”

Diana said, “My fans were reduced to half the number!! Because Zhao Yao refused to pay taxes! We owed 8 billions in taxes!”

“Zhao Yao’s not paying taxes...”

Matcha said, “Scoundrel! How could he do such a thing that goes against the core values of our society?”

He turned his head and looked at the cats as he said, “Remember to pay taxes for the new year! Whoever evades taxes, refuses to obey the country’s law and societal obligations. I’ll cut down their entire family!”

Catherine said, “Not only do we have this problem, there’s also the 110 feline girls who stole quite a number of our fans.”

“It’s frustrating!” Caesar slammed his paw on the ground. “They have ears and breasts. We can’t compete with them!”

Elizabeth said dejectedly, “Men are all bad. They like sexy girls.”

“Er?” Latte said softly, “Who can help me open the salmon can?”

The supercats shared their woes and hardships of their new year.

Matcha noticed his Wechat notification.

“Zhao Yao, I’m Xiaoming! Recently the mobile and bicycle rental companies I’ve invested in are having cash flow issues. I got to know a boss who developed electric cars in America. Do you want to invest?”

Matcha remembered he was using Zhao Yao’s Wechat account, he silently blacklisted Xiao Ming.

Pom!

The door was knocked open as Milk Tea ran in and said in panic, “Bad news! The vaccines that we were injected with are having problems!”

Lightning said, “What?!”

Milk Tea said, “They’re fake vaccines!” ƒ𝘳ee𝔀e𝚋n૦𝐯el.c𝗼𝓂

Matcha said, “That’s despicable! They’re even fooling cats!”

Latte shivered and said, “Are we going for another injection?”

Milk Tea said, “It’s alright, I’ve made arrangements with the veterinarian hospital for another injection after the New Year’s celebration.”

“Yes, it’s good to have the injection after the celebration.” Latte heaved in relief and shouted, “Who’s helping me to open this can of salmon? I can’t open it.”

Hearing about the fake vaccine, the cats were even more sombre.

The door opened with a bang and Bai Quan walked in.

Matcha was indifferent as he said, “What’s the problem this time...”

Bai Quan said to Airplane, “Airplane! Did you force yourself on a female cat when we went to America for a tour?”

“No... I didn’t...” Airplane quickly explained, “She heard I’m Zhao Yao’s cat and she approached me first!”

Bai Quan squinted his eyes and said, “She’s filing a suit against you. The Americans have an anti-harassment of cats’ movement. If this case blows up, it’ll affect Cat Wonderland’s investments. We have to go to America to attend the court case in the next two days.”

“If we’ve to pay damages, it’ll be deducted from your salary.”

Airplane was indignant.

“Oh, well,” Matcha sighed. “The days are getting harder.”

“Hmm.” Roly Poly said, “Even cat grass and cat medicine are fake. Times are getting unbearable.”

Dust Ball said, “New Year’s boring.”

Latte said, “Who’s going to help me open my can of salmon? I’m angry!”

A huge hand extended out from the thin air and put an opened can of salmon in front of Latte.

Another palm rested on Matcha’s head and cuddled him vigorously.

“Are you obedient at home?”

Seeing the human figure, the cats rushed forth as their excited meowing filled the entire room.

“Zhao Yao!” Matcha scraped against Zhao Yao’s huge hands. “You’re back! Aren’t you fighting the monsters on the other planets?”

“I had to come back for the New Year.” Zhao Yao smiled as he stroked Elizabeth’s chin. Lightning, Roly Poly and Diana came forward and stood on their hind legs. Some rested their paws on Zhao Yao’s legs and lifted their heads for him to stroke their chins.

Roly Poly said, “Zhao Yao, Zhao Yao! Stroke me! Stroke me too!”

Elizabeth said, “Zhao Yao! Hug me!”

Diana said, “Zhao Yao, Zhao Yao! You haven’t combed my fur for a long time!”

The cats stacked onto Zhao Yao’s body. The sombre mood was lifted in an instant.

Bai Quan sat on the sofa and smiled as he watched the cats surround Zhao Yao.

“Although there have been hardships, problems, quarrels and fights, everyone wants to be with their loved ones during the New Year. As long as everyone’s together, all problems can be solved.”

Zhao Yao surveyed the environment and quivered his ears. He looked at Bai Quan and asked, “Where’s Zhao Xue and my parents? They’re not here?”

“Zhao Xue...” Cold sweat broke out on Bai Quan’s head as he said with hesitation, “She brought your parents to Las Vegas for a tour...”

“Las Vegas for a tour?” Zhao Yao scoffed and said, “She went there to get rich. Who dares to give her money? She even brought our parents to gamble. She’s incorrigible.”

Half an hour later, Zhao Xue was pulled out from the Dimension Portal. She knelt on the ground and hugged Zhao Yao’s leg. “Brother! Your sister’s poor! I’m at my wits’ end so I came up with this idea!”

“Your pocket money’s 50 000 dollars every month, isn’t it enough? When I was your age, I’m still eating cup noodles. I’ve built up my career and business empire within these few years based on my hard work. Why don’t you take a page from me?”

Zhao Xue pondered and transformed into a feline girl. She pointed at her cat ears and said, “I’ll let you touch my ears. Don’t be angry with me.”

“What do you take me for? That I’ll be happy touching your ears?!” Zhao Yao glared at her and scraped her ears playfully. “Reflect on your mistakes! You’ll stay at home for half a year!”

Zhao Xue widened her eyes happily. “Really?”

“And, no playing with your cell phone.”

Zhao Xue’s face grew red.

Zhao Yao’s mum walked out and said, “Enough of chiding Zhao Xue. Come and have the reunion dinner. You can chide her after the meal.”

Zhao Xue’s face grew red.

Milk Tea helped to serve the cat meals. “Reunion dinner!”

The cats rushed to the dining table, together with Zhao Yao’s parents, Zhao Xue, Zhao Yao and Bai Quan.

Matcha binged on his cat meal and wagged his tail. “Today’s cat meal is delicious!”

Zhao Yao said, “Indeed, I’ve added some alien materials from the Long Fur Tribe. The cats there liked it too.”

Mango dragged his meal bowl over and scraped his head against Zhao Yao’s ankle before squatting down underneath Zhao Yao’s leg to eat.

Latte said, “Wah! It tastes as delicious as my cans of salmon!”

Milk Tea said, “Latte! Don’t gobble your food that fast! Remember how you vomited out the food last time!”

Elizabeth chewed on her meal and thought, “The meal’s especially fragrant.”

Fish Ball opened the door and climbed in warily.

Ares said, “Oh, Fish Ball, you’re here. Isn’t your leg broken?”

“Of course it’s fake.” Fish Ball said, “I’ll join you for this year’s reunion dinner.”

Lightning greeted him and said, “Come, Fish Ball, sit over here and join us for the meal!”

Dust Ball scoffed and said, “Humph, scumbag.”

“Hello, Xiao Yu?” Zhao Yao picked up the cell phone and glanced at Fish Ball as he nodded. “Hmm, it’s alright. He’s here. I’ll pay you a visit in the next two days. Happy New Year.”

After Zhao Yao hung up the phone, when everyone was enjoying their meal, Zhao Yao smiled and raised his tea cup. “Everyone, Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year!!”