Apocalypse Cockroach

Just call me cockroach!

Translator: chinesenoveltranslated

“To eat or not to eat, that is a question.” Zhang Xiao Qiang was staring at the big piece of meat as he thought to himself.

“It will be great if we can find someone to try it out…” Zhang Xiao Qiang took a glance at Yang Ke Er but eventually decided to drop the idea to make her test out the meat as she is still a young girl, even though she is a little brainless, and no longer pure (like a virgin). But it is a norm to not be a virgin. Someone once said “Virgin? You have to go to the elementary school to find one” But Zhang Xiao Qiang still thinks that one should be able to find a virgin in high school.

Zhang Xiao Qiang looked back to the meat, the color of the meat has turned slightly black, maybe because no one released the blood from the meat in time and all the blood has flown back into the meat.

Swallowing his saliva, he started to have strong cravings as he had not eaten any meat for the past few days. He started limping towards the meat, stopping right in front of it. He used his knife and cut a big piece of meat. Closing his eyes, he started to stuff the meat into his mouth.

Right before he put the meat into his mouth, he stopped as the strong stanch of the raw meat jammed the nerves in his nose. He walked over to the bonfire and started to barbeque the meat until the meat start to turn slightly yellow and smelled nice. Relying on his body that had just passed the test of the weird rain, he stuffed the meat into his mouth.

“It’s a little tough!” Zhang Xiao Qiang said. “Oh it got stuck in between my teeth,” as he summarizes the tasting session.

“Are you done? I can’t wait anymore!” Yang Ke Er asks while she barbeques the monster’s hind leg by the bonfire. Zhang Xiao Qiang took a look at the meat and said “not yet”.

After seeing that Zhang Xiao Qiang did not react badly to the meat, the little girl also ate the meat. This proves that Zhang Xiao Qiang’s theory is right, the D virus is bad for humans but it does not affect animals negatively.

“I wonder if the monkey will turn into zombie monkey?” that thought came to Zhang Xiao Qiang while he was looking at the bonfire.

“It’s burnt! It’s burnt! I said it’s done but uncle don’t believe, hmmpf!” Yang Ke Er started complaining about the meat being a little burned.

“You threw my good intentions into the drain! Don’t eat it since it’s burnt.” Zhang Xiao Qiang chided at Yang Ke Er.

“Alright, I’m sorry. Oh my god, the meat is so tough!” Yang Ke Er said with a frown. “It doesn’t come off no matter how hard I chew!”

“Treat it like you are eating a sow (female pig) and chew on it a few more times!” Zhang Xiao Qiang shared his experience.

“Uncle, what’s your name?” Yang Ke Er finally remembered to ask for his name.

He felt his heart wrenched after he recalls some memories when Kang Ke Er asked for his name.

“Xiao Qiang! Xiao Qiang! Stop playing and come back for dinner,” His mother would call for him when he was young.

“Please introduce yourself,” The teacher steps down from the podium while he walks up, staring into the eyes of more then fifty people.

“I… I am Zhang Xiao Qiang,” he answered softly, that was a memory in high school.

“Xiao Qiang, what you gonna do… Seeing someone younger dying before your very own eyes,” that was when his classmate recited a famous movie line to him. [JY: Because Xiao Qiang is a commonly used name, it was used everywhere]

“Zhang Xiao Qiang? Hahaha, isn’t that a cockroach? Sorry, hahaha…. I cannot take it, it’s too funny,” This happened when he went for a blind date.

Thinking about all those experiences, he is filled with resentment towards his name. It is like curse, following him until he dies.

“A name is just a symbol, it is just a memory, it cannot represent anything!” Zhang Xiao Qiang told Yang Ke Er sternly.

“But how should I address you? I can’t always call you uncle right? Are you having menopause? Or are you still angry that I laughed at you for being single…”

He fell silent after hearing Yang Ke Er’s comment.

He suddenly remembered how a cockroach begs to live after being trapped in a bottle, and also the times where he faced difficulties after leaving home.

“You can call me cockroach.” Zhang Xiao Qiang makes up his mind.

“What? Cockroach? That is disgusting, I hate cockroaches! Why do you have to call yourself that!” Yang Ke Er made a negative remark about that idea of calling him cockroach.

“Are you full? Go to sleep if you are full! We will continue the training tomorrow!” Zhang Xiao Qiang orders Yang Ke Er to go to bed, while trying to change the subject.

“……….” Yang Ke Er squirms into the blanket while muttering something.

Zhang Xiao Qiang finishes the last piece of meat, touch his belly and sighed. He always eats a lot when he is injured. Although it is good that he will recover fast, it is upsetting to see the food supply decreasing so fast.

He cuts off the remaining meat from the monster to barbeque, preparing to keep the meat as his food supply. Although the meat is tough, it does helps to suppress his hunger. The monster is left with bones after cutting off all the meat. Zhang Xiao Qiang searched through the abdominal of the monster but could not find any gallbladder stone like the ones he usually finds in a cat.

“Could it be that only cats have that?” Zhang Xiao Qiang wondered.

With all the meat is now barbequing by the bonfire, Zhang Xiao Qiang wondered to himself, “The monster was enormous in size but there wasn’t much meat, only about 100 pounds. The rest is taken up by bones and organs, and after barbequing, we are left with around 50 pounds of edible meat,” (I remember buying roughly 5 pounds’ beef and after cooking, what’s left is only 2 pounds, not sure it was due to some injection to make the meat heavier – Author’s own thought)

After keeping the barbequed meat, he took a glance at the monster skin, and proceeds to scrape off the fascia (connective tissues) and used the ash from the burnt wood to tan the skin. He stops after seeing that it is almost done, thinking how should he use the skin? That is a tough question!

The main weapon has been destroyed as the iron lance has broken into two. The triangular pointed top of the iron lance has also turned into a S shape and the metal pipe is also bent out of shape. The iron lance has been through many battles with Zhang Xiao Qiang and he feels sad that he can no longer use it.

He buried the iron lance and hugged the pair of monster horns to sleep.

“Uncle Zhang, slow down, I cannot run anymore.” Zhang Xiao Qiang stays in front, riding the bicycle with the bag of monster meat at the back of the bicycle while Yang Ke Er does her training, running behind the bicycle.

Zhang Xiao Qiang ignores her and continue riding his bicycle.

“Zhang Xiao Qiang stop now!!” Yang Ke Er shouted, panicking. She managed to guessed his name right then.

“Crunch!” he stopped, “finally you stopped! Pant, pant! I’m so tired!” Yang Ke Er walks to Zhang Xiao Qiang, breathing heavily.

Zhang Xiao Qiang ignores her and look through the binoculars. “What happen?” Yang Ke Er asked curiously.

There is a zombie in the field ahead, around a mile away with no buildings in sight. This is a rare opportunity!

“Can you see that zombie?” Zhang Xiao Qiang told Yang Ke Er while pointing to the direction of the field.

“What’s the matter? It looks ordinary,” Yang Ke Er doesn’t give a second look and used her hand to fan herself.

“Go and kill it.” Zhang Xiao Qiang spoke as if it was as easy as killing an ant.

“……….” Yang Ke Er freezes up upon hearing what he said.

“B…But I don’t have have any experience!” Yang Ke Er stares blankly at Zhang Xiao Qiang.

“No one has experience at the start. It is a good opportunity now, go, I will watch you from the back” Zhang Xiao Qiang explains to Yang Ke Er.

“T.. Then will you rescue me if I encounter any danger?” Yang Ke Er pleads.

“No, I told you before! You can only depend on yourself, if you don’t dare to kill it today, you should dig a hole and bury yourself! Saves you from going through unnecessary suffering!” Zhang Xiao Qiang spoke firmly, with a stern look on his face.

“I.. What do I use to kill the zombie?” with an excuse, Yang Ke Er holds on to the side of his clothes tightly and looked at Zhang Xiao Qiang with puppy eyes.

“Take this,” Zhang Xiao Qiang said as he took out an iron hammer.