Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎

"Hello, who are you looking for?"

"Ah! Finally got through! That's great~"

"That voice—is it Akihisa? You actually know how to use the international line, what's wrong?"

"YOU DARE TO ASK ME!? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, MUM!? I CHECKED SO MANY TIMES ALREADY, WHY DOES MY CARD HAVE ONLY 39 YEN!? DID YOU FORGET TO TOP UP MY FUNDS!?"

"How rude. How can I forget that? As for the money, I safely—"

"So you sent it?"

"—kept it in my wallet."

"YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO TAKE YOU SON'S FUNDS? DAMN IT, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN TO DAD!"

"Relax, a part of that money went to dad."

"IS DAD AN ACCOMPLICE!? GUZZLING DOWN MY SOURCE OF LIFE, YOU'RE THE WORST COUPLE EVER!"

"…Sorry, actually, dad only got 20% of it."

"AND IT'S COMPLETELY UNEQUAL! DAD'S REALLY PITIFUL HERE!!"

"Your dad didn't even know anything at all and thought that I got half the money. He was really happy."

"…Dad…why did you marry such a person?"

"Sigh, let's not talk about this first."

"Eh? Ah, oh…"

"Didn't mom tell you before? You have to report your grades to me regularly, but ever since you entered 2nd grade, I haven't heard anything about the grades from you, you know?"

"…Sorry mom, my reception here is bad, can't hear you properly here."

"So what if the reception is bad, my problem here is that my son's so stupid."

"I don't think we're on the same topic."

"And it's so bad it's superhuman."

"I, I'm not that stupid!"

"Oh, really? Then say it. How's your grades now?"

"…"

"Hurry up. Once you answer it, I'll consider if I should give the money to you."

"Erm…well, I used to think that mum looks so youthful and pretty, but mom's real charm isn't just in the appearance, but also in the heart. She not only has all the positives as a lady, her movements and decision making won't lose to a man. As your son, I often bragged about this." .

"Enough nonsense. I won't let you give me an excuse, so answer me in English. 'How are your grades in school'?"

"Ah…"

"Ah? 'a thousand'? 'a little bad'? 'about average score'?"

"I'm, sorry…"

--DUUU…

"EHH? WHAT'S WITH THIS RESPONSE? THAT'S TOO COLD ALREADY! DAMN IT! IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'LL KEEP CALLING YOU LIKE A CRAZED PERVERT! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE RESILIENCE OF THIS SON!"

☆

"…So after hearing the irritating buzzing that's like those insect repellents, she just added your number to her phone's black list so that it'd refuse to connect your call?"

"Un. Don't you find her really too much? That person is definitely not my mother."

"Well, it's been tough on you…"

During lunch, I grumbled about the conversation I had with my mom to Yuuji. It's unexpected for him to have such a reaction.

"Wh, what's wrong with you, Yuuji? It's disgusting to hear you pity me."

"Nothing much, just that I understand how it's like to have suffered under a mother…"

Yuuji looks up and gazes outside the window, looking like there's something on his mind, and there's actually an expression that's doesn't match that hard and rough expression of his.

"So, what are you going to do, Akihisa?"

The beauty who's holding a packet drink — Hideyoshi - asked me. Seeing him drink the soy milk, I really want to smile. The TV adverts are telling us that soy milk is beneficial to beauty, and this drink really suits Hideyoshi.

"Uu~ hm…really, I'm bothered as well. Seems like my mum hardened her heart. I couldn't call her, and even if I want to fly overseas to find her, it's too far overseas…"

And besides, I really don't know where they are anyway. All I know is that they're running a partnership enterprise somewhere overseas…

"…Seems like you can only earn it yourself."

My classmate Tsuchiya Kouta, nicknamed Muttsulini is reading a magazine as he said this. The reason why he has such a nickname is because he is a super silent pervert—and even the silent part is missing recently. Now he's just a blatant pervert.

"Ya, seems like I should find a job."

If possible, I hope that I can get my pay daily and immediately start work. I don't suppose that high school students can earn their pay on a daily basis, do they?

"Working? Now that you mention it, the cafe in front of the station is hiring people."

Yuuji places his hand below his chin.

"The cafe in front of the station?"

"Seems like it's called 'La Pedis', right? I don't know what language that is in."

"Hei~ so that place is hiring people?"

That place sells really nice food, and they're really cheap. It's a place that many students from Fumitzuki Gakuen often patronize. There was once when I went there with Minami (while my arm was twisted).

"I remember that it's just relief work for this Saturday. The shift is from 11:00 to 20:00, and the salary is around 8,800 yen. It seems like they welcome any inexperienced people as well."

"Only 1 day, and they invite newcomers as well? That's great to me—but there's a catch, right?"

Normally, a cafe won't hire people who's studying in the short-term, and it's even weirder for them to invite inexperienced people as well. There must be something.

"This hiring method may be a bit different, but I feel that there's no need to be so surprised. Most likely, the staff members just left the shop, so he had to hire people like this?"

This reason is possible. Since they are also willing to accept inexperienced people, the owner must be really desperate already, right?

"…Besides, Akihisa doesn't have the luxury of being picky about this."

"Uu…you're right about that…"

Like what Muttsulini said, right now, I don't have the capacity to talk about this. This is a matter of life and death, seems like I really have to fight for that part-time job.

"So, Akihisa's going as well?"

"Eh? 'Akihisa's going as well', does this mean that you're going too Yuuji?"

"I'm thinking that way. Actually, I wanted to go there to try it out."

I see, no wonder he understood about those things.

"What is it? Does Yuuji want to buy something? Why don't you say it to us?"

"Well, it's actually nothing…I just want to add locks to my room, the best and sturdiest kind."

Amongst us youths, from time to time everyone will think of installing locks in our own rooms--but there's probably not many who'd do it for the same reason Yuuji does.

"Oh yeah, how many people do they want?"

If we have to compete against each other in the interview, I may have to poison Yuuji first. I wonder if I still have some of Himeji-san's biscuits…

"I remember it's about 3-4. The place is rather big, so they really need a lot of people."

Now that Yuuji said this, I remember what I saw in the shop. The outside's already like a family restaurant, and there's a lot of variety on the menu. Including the staff in the kitchen, it is possible to have another 3 or 4 people.

"About 4 people, huh? How about Hideyoshi and Muttsulini join us?"

"That can do…maybe I can practice my acting. It's good to have experience."

"…I can get enough money to buy a camera."

Both of them don't have any other plans, so they agreed to it easy. Muttsulini will show his skills in the kitchen, and as for Hideyoshi, there's no real need to talk about it.

"Since we decided, let's go for the interview after class today. It'll be over if we can't get others."

"You're right. Let's do it."

"Got it."

"…(Nods head)"

Because of that, the 4 of us went to the cafe, and after taking the interview there, we got accepted.

☆

"Ahh…you people really came…sorry to bother you for today…"

"O, okay, please take care of us."

On Saturday, the coffee shop owner drags his body that looks extremely frail as he invites the 4 of us in, who arrived an hour early.

(Oi, is this shop owner really going to make it?)

(Um…to me, if such a thing happens again, this brother here will likely jump into the sea below Mount Fuji. He looks really weak.)

Hideyoshi's thoughts hit the mark. If such a person is to appear at a train station platform, I'll tell the conductor to watch him and prevent him from jumping onto the tracks.

(I heard a rumor…that this shop owner's wife and daughter left him.)

Yuuji muttered.

Maybe this shop owner couldn't take the sudden stress of losing his wife and daughter? Thinking about it, it's rather likely that he would hire one-day-workers. Anyway, we just need to help out before his wife and daughter comes back.

(That's strange. I remember that there were a few girls working here the last time…)

(I don't know what happened to them as well. Most likely there's something to their resignation that we don't know of.)

So they resigned? Seems like they didn't want to get involved with the shop owner's business.

"Well, here are your uniforms…tell me if the sizes don't match…"

The shop owner places the folded uniforms in front of us.

"""My size doesn't match at all."""

The moment we received the uniforms, Yuuji, Muttsulini and me said this in perfect unison.

"My gender doesn't match."

On a side note, that's Hideyoshi voicing his displeasure over being given a female uniform.

"Eh? That's strange…I definitely measured it before…"

The shop owner tilts his head, but no matter how I see it, the sizes don't match.

"Erm, my uniform may be a bit too small, but Yuuji and Muttsulini—no, Sakamoto and Tsuchiya's sizes definitely don't match."

Did the shop owner give the uniforms to the wrong people? If it's not, his eyes must be really bad then.

"Is it…but to me, Sakamoto-san is S, Yoshii-san is M, and Tsuchiya-san is ERO—no, L…"

This shopkeeper can't be underestimated at all!

"…I have no interest in ERO."

""WHA!!""

On hearing what's definitely the biggest lie of the century, Yuuji and I shouted out in shock.

"Muttsulini, no matter what, you can't just lie like that."

"Ya, if you want to lie, make sure it's at least believable."

"…(Shakes head violently)."

That shaking-head pose of his is blatantly a lie. Really, is there a need to make a such huge lie?

"Never mind, forget about that. My size is L, so I can swap with Muttsulini."

Maybe I might seem small when standing next to Yuuji, but I am taller than the average boy. To me, the width of an M-sized uniform may be wide enough, but the length isn't enough.

"…I'll wear M. It's perfect."

I swap uniforms with Muttsulini. Hm, size L does fits me.

"Shopkeeper, I should be wearing XL. Can you help me change to another one?"

Yuuji has no one to exchange uniforms with, so he could only return the uniform.

"I see…you're right…I accidentally mixed up the uniform sizes with my fetishes…"

That's a really casual error there.

"Well, I did say that my gender's wrong…"

Alright, time to change, and let's start working!

☆

The worker's restroom isn't really big, so both Muttsulini and I enter first.

"Sure feels like the school festival."

"…We seem to be fated with cafes."

After putting our personal stuff into the storage cupboard, Muttsulini and I started talking as we change clothes.

This shop uniform has long black pants and a white shirt, with a block tightfitting vest over it. It's a normal waiter uniform. A black apron around the pants, a black bow tie, and we're all good.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"…Excuse us."

After changing, Muttsulini and I walk out of the restroom in similar uniforms as we call out to the people outside. Yuuji and Hideyoshi seem impressed as they look at our attire.

"Haha, really suits you guys. You guys really have the look."

"The way I see it, both of you look really cool now."

"Re, really?"

"…How embarrassing."

Unlike the school uniform or casual uniform, these are actual cafe uniforms. I already feel bad about dressing up like them, and I'm a lot more embarrassed now that they praised me.

"Then, I'll go in with Yuuji."

"Um, our turn."

After saying out our thoughts, this time, it's Yuuji and Hideyoshi's going in with the uniforms in the hands--eh WAIT A MINUTE!!!

"YUUJI YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN YOU JUST GO IN AND CHANGE CLOTHES WITH HIDEYOSHI LIKE THAT!?"

"…Ten thousand deaths await you!"

I frantically try to force the door open, but they locked themselves inside; the handle couldn't be turned. If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

But Yuuji ignores us who're intending to break the door, not understanding our thoughts as he sighs in the restroom.

"What are you saying. Whether we're changing clothes or something else, we're both guys. How can there be any problem?"

BOTH OF YOU ARE GUYS? ANY PROBLEMS? WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS IDIOT UTTERING!?

"YUUJI!! THAT'S AN ERROR ON THE RECORDS!!"

"Wait, wait a minute, Akihisa! I am someone with a male body!"

Seems like Yuuji hasn't understood what's going on. He actually believed the records blindly!

"Sigh, I know. I'll listen to what you have to say once we're done, so just calm down now."

Yuuji said this with an impatient tone.

NO! It'll be over when they changed! If so--

"Yuuji! If you don't want to change you mind no matter what…"

"So what? Don't break the door now! It'll be bad if we have to pay for the door immediately after coming to work here."

"--I'm going to tell Kirishima-san everything!"

Creak!

"I can change in the corridor, right?"

Good that you understand.

"Okay, let's go find the shop owner."

"…(Nods head)"

After solving this crisis, Muttsulini and I head towards the hall.

"Urm…I can't seem to reach the zip on my back. Sorry Yuuji, but can you--eh? Where did Yuuji go?"

"Sorry Hideyoshi, I treasure my life."

Hearing this conversation behind me, I finally relaxed. Really, Hideyoshi's defenselessness is really troublesome.

"Speaking of which, this is a real cafe; different from the one at school. Sure feels refreshing."

"…Very interesting."

Today's work may be a great experience. Though it's not to the extent that I can stop begging my mother for money, it's not too bad.

"You said that you want to do the work in the kitchen right, Muttsulini?"

"…I did say that in the interview."

"Well, you should be in charge of the kitchen."

Harboring nervous feelings, I head towards the the hall where the shopkeeper's at.

"…(Blank)"

The shopkeeper is just sitting around, his soul oozing out of his mouth.

"Shop, shopkeeper, are you alright?"

"Ah…ahh, I'm alright, I'm alright…as long as I deal with the shop's stuff well, I'm sure those two will come back…"

Seems like the shopkeeper unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. Can he really hang on?

(Muttsulini, this guy isn't doing so well, is he?)

(…That may be dangerous.)

(Teag. Why don't we test it out first?)

(…How?)

(Just talk with him as per normal.)

I let Muttsulini remain here as I walk to the shopkeeper.

Let me see, what should I say to him?

"Well, shopkeeper…"

"…Hm? Ahh, what is it?"

"The weather's nice today."

I didn't know what to say, so I just mentioned that the weather's nice today.

"Ahh…yes…daddy's really irritating…"

Seeing his response, it seems like my idea of talking about the weather just went down the drain.

"Um…let's just hope that there will be a lot of customers today."

Let's change the topic. If it's about the shop, he can't possibly ignore it, right?

"My cutest among cutest daughter…she always said that 'I loved papa' before she was 1 year old…"

"Shopkeeper, that's a memory you made up."

I remember a kid has to be about 2 before the kid starts to talk.

(What now, Muttsulini? I couldn't get through to the shopkeeper at all.)

(…How about we talk about his daughter?)

(I see. Maybe we can get a response out of him.)

The shopkeeper was just muttering about things regarding his daughter. If we talk about his daughter, he should have a response, right?

"Well…"

"Erm…hm?"

"How's your daughter li--"

"I give you 5 seconds to pray to god."

Immediately, a chilly object is placed at my neck.

"Hol, hold on a moment, shopkeeper! Besides, where did you get that knife from!?"

"Ah, ahh, I'm terribly sorry…you're the boy who's working today, right? You're not that guy who wants to take away my cute little angel…"

"Ye, yeah, you're mistaken there."

"Hahaha…sorry there…"

The shopkeeper keeps the knife back into his clutches. Seems like I managed to protect my carotid pulse.

Now that we said so much, is this shopkeeper really alright?

How's Muttsulini's assessment?

(Muttsulini, how is it? Do you find this shopkeeper 'safe' or 'out'?)

(…Try it again.)

You want a 3rd out? That's an appropriate assessment.

But what should I do now? I need my money if I want to survive, and even if the shopkeeper's like this, I can't just say go and then go away…

Just as I'm worrying about how to work together with the shopkeeper,

"Uu, my uniform's the only one different here…"

"Give it up, Hideyoshi. This is for work."

"…Since this is for the money, I don't really have much to argue about…"

Yuuji and Hideyoshi's voices can be heard from behind.

"Ah, you two, how long do you need to change clothes--"

Turning back to look at their attire, I was completely flabbergasted.

The tall Yuuji is rather suited to be dressed as a waiter, so I'll let that pass, but the problem's the other person.

"Sorry. This uniform is really hard to wear. Took me quite a while to wear it."

Hideyoshi tugs at his dress. Anyone will think that he's a waitress.

Eh, should I say something here…

"Hi, Hideyoshi, that really suits you--"

Just as I was about to praise Hideyoshi about this--

"DEAR MY DAUGHHHHTEEEERRRR--"

On seeing Hideyoshi in the uniform, the shopkeeper suddenly opens his arms wide and leaps towards Hideyoshi like a weird bird.

"WHA, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"SHOP, SHOPKEEPER? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!"

"DEAR MY DAUGHHHHTEEEERRRR--"

No way! We can't get through to him!

"Can't be helped! Yuuji, get ready to fight!"

"Got--no wait! We can't hit him! Why is there such a weird movement!?"

"MUTTSULINI, TASER THE SHOPKEEPER!"

"…Can't lock on to target!"

The shopkeeper's moving like a doppleganger. Even Yuuji and Muttsulini can't stop him! If this keeps up, Hideyoshi will be in danger!

"HIDEYOSHI!!!"

"WHA, WHAT DO I DO???"

"TRY AND STOP HIM! SHOUT SOMETHING 'A TEENAGE GIRL WOULD SAY WHEN HE READS HER SECRET DIARY'!"

"I, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT I'LL TRY!!"

After I gave him a scenario, Hideyoshi flipped into an actor on a stage.

"…I HATE DADDY THE MOST!!!"

Such a vicious and spiteful line there. Now that his cute (fake) daughter said this, the shopkeeper should be shocked--

"REALLY…HOW ABOUT YOU BATHE TOGETHER WITH PAPA!!!"

What the heck, no effect at all! Or rather, isn't there something wrong with this conversation!? Either way, there's no 'bath together with papa' option here!?

"If that's the case, we'll let him calm down through violence! Back away, Hideyoshi, take off that uniform! Yuuji, Muttsulini, we're going all out!!"

"""Roger!"""

"DEAR MY DAUGHHHHTEEEERRRR--"

After setting the taser power to the maximum and hitting him hard 4 times, the shopkeeper finally can't get up.

☆

"What should we do now?"

"What else can we do? The shopkeeper already became like this, we can't do anything on our own. Let's just put a 'closed for today' sign here.

The shopkeeper that just went berserk has collapsed onto the floor with white eyes now. Good thing there isn't any damage done to the stop, but the four of us can't possibly open the shop on our own like that.

"I say that we still have a chance of working next time."

In order to prevent the shopkeeper from going berserk again, Hideyoshi took that skirt off and puts on the male waiter uniform again. But this looks really cute. How awkward.

"Can't be helped. Let's find another chance to work."

"…Too bad."

"Eh? Does this mean that the money--"

"Of course we can't get it, we haven't even worked."

"I, I see…you're right…"

Really a pity. Of course I feel bad about not being able to get my pay, but I was really looking forward to serving people professionally. I had no chance to do that during the school festival Really want to try it…the moment the door rings and opens, and then I energetically say 'welcome' to the customers--

--Ding dong

"Welcome!"

Such a greeting may be rather interesting. That's really…strange?

"That's great! The shop's open. We're still worrying about how to spend the time~"

"Yup. This is great."

Treating my practice as a response, the two nee-sans who look like office ladies walk into the shop! Damn it! How can I say 'we're closed for today' now.

(Oi Akihisa! Why did you just greet them?)

(I, I'm sorry! I didn't mean! I just thought of it in my mind and then they just appeared at this moment…)

I just naturally greeted them because the timing was perfect. Coincidence is really scary!

(This is bad. The way I see it, I don't think we can just chase them away like that…)

(…We can only do our best before the shopkeeper wakes up.)

(Uu…I'm sorry.)

Though I don't know how long it'll take for the shopkeeper on the other side to wake up, right now, the four of us can only only the front. To think that we would actually end up in such a predicament that we can't back out from.

(Sigh, can't be helped…but at least if they makes things that are on the menu. We should be able to make them, so let's give it a go. Akihisa and Hideyoshi will be in charge of serving the customers. Muttsulini, you take the kitchen. As for drinks, I'll be in charge.)

(I got it.)

(…Understood.)

Yuuji walks into the bar counter, and Muttsulini disappears into the kitchen, while Hideyoshi and me are in charge of serving outside, so of course, we have to remain in the hall.

(Akihisa, let me try this first. You'll take the next group.)

(Um, got it.)

After saying that to me, Hideyoshi, dressed in a waiter's uniform, walks towards the customers at the door.)

"Two of you? Please follow me."

Leading the first customers for the day, Hideyoshi brings them to the table near the window. While the customers are sitting down, Hideyoshi uses this time to leave for a while before taking the tray with glasses of ice water to to their table.

"Once you're done deciding on what you want, please kindly notify me."

After bowing courteously to the customers, Hideyoshi turns and heads back. Great, those customers don't seem to have found out anything.

"Yuuji, there's no problem with the drinks right?"

"Hm, I should be able to make the easy ones. Muttsulini will handle the food, so there shouldn't be any problems."

At this moment, I suddenly feel that Yuuji and Muttsulini's talents are so reliable here. Of course, I'm also envious of them.

Just when these complicated thoughts are in my mind, Hideyoshi also finishes his work of delivering the tea as he returns to me.

"As expected of Hideyoshi. It's foolproof."

"Ya, it's nothing if I treat this as acting. And since there aren't that much audience, I can perform better."

It's true. Hideyoshi's face isn't stiff or awkward. I should learn from him.

"Right, I should do my best!"

"That's the spirit, but don't be too jumpy. If you're too nervous, it may affect your movements, or you may end up biting your tongue."

Anyway, Hideyoshi's telling me not to get nervous and or slip my tongue, right? Since this is what someone with experience said, I should remember that. The most important thing is 'not to fall' and 'don't slip your tongue'.

--Ding dang!

Oh, customers are here. Time for me to me! Watch it, don't 'bite my tongue' and 'don't fall'!

"Welchiam!"

Bit my tongue.

"""…"""

The three nee-sans who just stepped in lower their heads to restrain their laughter. Damn it, I really want to cry and run away.

Bu, but how can I feel dejected after just a minor mistake! Must calm down, don't bite my tongue. I take a deep breath—

"—Welchiam…"

CLANG! (I rush inwards)

"AH! Kiddo, aren't you going to greet us?"

"Don't worry! We're not laughing at you!"

"Try it again? Okay?"

Uu! Why am I so useless!?

"Wh, what is it, Akihisa? Why did it end up like that?"

Seeing me run back like this, Hideyoshi couldn't hide his look of intrigue.

Ahh…I'm really envious that everyone could remain so calm…but how can I run away! Got to face them!

"So, sorry, I was a little confused just now."

I returned back to the customers, bow my head and apologized. The customers giggle as they forgive me of my actions. Good thing they're kind-hearted customers.

"Then, please allow me to lead you to your table."

After recollecting myself, I bring the customers to the cabin table near the window and serve up the menu and ice water. While they start to decide on their orders, I return back to the bar counter.

"Oh, I see that my customers are almost done."

Hideyoshi notices the actions of the first group of customers and then walks over to them.

"Excuse me, but may I know what you have decided on?"

"Please give us an Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies."

"Okay, please let me confirm your order. An Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies. Please hold on, your order will be served soon."

Hideyoshi takes back the menus that the customers used and returns back to the bar counter.

"An Espresso, a lemonade and two seasoned smoothies."

"Got it."

"…(Nods head)."

After Hideyoshi said finish, Yuuji and Muttsulini immediately got to work. Sure feels good.

"Akihisa, the table over there seems to be done as well."

"Ah, that's true. I'll go take their order."

Like what Hideyoshi said, the customers I led are looking here now. I see, so I just need to ask them 'may I have your order please?'. Okay, I'll do my job well.

Taking a deep breath--

"Dexcuse me…"

Pzzztt!

The customers spit out ice water, causing the shop to have a fresh rainbow arc.

"…Excuse me, may I have your order, please?"

I really, really want to bury myself into a hole.

"The, then, I want a hot cocoa and a cheesecake. Do your best."

"I want an orange juice and scones. Do your best."

"I, I want milk tea and a Montblanc. Do your best."

"O, okay, thank you very much…"

After taking the menus back, I say to Yuuji and Muttsulini,

"Hot cocoa, orange juice, milk tea, cheese cake, scones, Montblanc, one each. And 3 'do your best'."

"…Why are the customers encouraging you?"

"…Did something happen after opening the shop?"

Yuuji and Muttsulini probably won't even understand my feelings since they're not in charge of serving.

I prepare the cups as I wait for the desserts to be ready. After which, I then deliver the food and drinks onto their table. I just served it to them, and yet I got told 'You did brilliantly'. It's really heart-aching…

And thus, time slowly starts to pass--

--DING DONG!

"Welcome, may I know how many of you?"

Hideyoshi says as he greets the customers who enter the shop.

We're not too busy and also not too bored to tears, the customers start to come in one by one…ah, there are customers here as well, and these are the first male customers of the day. Okay, watch me!

"Welcome, may I know how many of you?"

"Oh, there's two of—eh, isn't this Yoshii? What are you doing here?"

The customers who stepped into the shop shouted when they saw me. Speaking of which, where have I met this pair before? Baldy…mohawk head…pair…bra on head…

"Ahh! It's the hentai sempais!"

"WHO IN THIS WORLD WILL CALL SUCH A NAME!?"

"WE'RE TSUNEMURA AND NATSUKAWA! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR MEMORY!?"

That's right, they're the Toko-Natsu duo. freℯ𝓌e𝚋𝐧𝘰vℯl.𝐜𝚘𝗺

"My apologies, please let me lead you to your seats."

"That's really disrespectful…"

Though they're perverts, they're still customers as well. I still nod my head respectfully and led them to their seats before serving them ice water.

"Once you're done with your selections, please notify me, thank you."

After saying that, I return back to the orders station, and not far away, Hideyoshi, who was serving other customers, is back.

"Oi, you two."

While the customers are still deciding on what to order, I was preparing the towels when Yuuji suddenly called me from behind the counter.

"What is it, Yuuji?"

"It's regarding the drinks. The milk today doesn't seem to be here, and there's none left. If the customers want to order any milk-based beverages, you have to watch out."

Speaking of which, one of the selling points of this shop is the fresh milk they provide. But if that's the case, we have to be careful of the customers ordering milk-based drinks.

"I got it. I'll make sure to be careful about the milk-based drinks."

"Ahh, thanks guys."

After saying that, Yuuji returns to the bar.

"Excuse me~"

The group of customers called. It's Hideyoshi's group.

"Yes, I'll be there."

Hideyoshi takes the order form and prepares to take the orders from the customers.

"May I know what you have decided?"

"Yes, we would like to have an ice coffee and ice milk tea."

"I'm really sorry, but we ran out of milk. We can prepare iced red tea immediately though. May I?"

"Ah, I see~ then I'll have iced red tea then."

"I'm really sorry. Let me confirm your order. One iced coffee and one iced red tea. Please wait, the drinks will be served soon."

After bowing to the customers, Hideyoshi returns to the bar.

I see. So I have to serve them like this. Better remember this.

"Oi, can we order now?"

"Ah, yes, we'll serve you."

Hearing the Toko-Natsu pair call, I immediately grab the menu and head towards them. Got to watch out if they order anything milk-related.

"May I know what do you like to order?"

"Hm, I want ice coffee."

Hm, so mohawk head ordered a cup of coffee. No problems.

"I want milk tea."

Oh, we got a problem. No need to panic, I just need to follow what Hideyoshi did.

"Dear customer, I'm really sorry."

"Hm? What is it?"

"We ran out of milk, so we need to switch the milk into ice. I hope you can understand."

"THAT'S JUST ORDINARY ICE!!!"

"Please hold on, we'll be serving the drinks soon."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"

I bow towards them as I return back to the bar counter and notified Yuuji and the rest what they ordered. As there're only drinks, it was completed immediately.

I put the two drinks on the tray, taking care not to let them spill out.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. This is your iced coffee."

"Oh."

I serve the iced coffee in front of the mohawk-head sempai.

"This is ice."

"I DON'T WANT THAT!"

The baldy-sempai doesn't seem to be satisfied with what he ordered as he is suddenly outraged.

Even so, it's our fault that we ran out of milk, so why don't we give him a special discount—okay!

"Dear customer, please relax. We'll charge you half price for this drink."

"THERE'S NO NEED TO CHARGE MONEY FOR THAT!!"

I already made way, but seems like the baldy-sempai doesn't understand. Uu~hm, how bothersome…

"If there's no milk, just get me a mix. No need the ice!"

"A mix…is it? I got it."

Now the order has changed. No ice, just a mix.

"Yuuji, I wan—eh, where did he go?"

I couldn't find Yuuji anywhere in the bar counter. Most likely, he went behind to do something. Really, it's not good to keep an emotional customer waiting…can't be helped, I'll have to make the drinks this time.

"But how am I going to make a mix?"

Even if it's me, I know a mix refers to a coffeemix. The problem is what kind of coffee do they want.

Since it's called a mix, it means a mix of several stuff, right—ah, I know.

I pour the coffee that Yuuji prepared into the cup, put the cup onto the tray and serve it to the customer.

"Sorry to make you wait. This is the mix you ordered."

"Oh, we did wait long."

I place the cup in front of baldy-sempai. The sempai immediately straightens his back proudly as he reaches for the cup.

"Oh yeah, what did you mix inside?"

Before the cup reached the lips, baldy-sempai suddenly asked me. Well, that—

"A mix of iced coffee and hot coffee."

"DON'T MIX THESE TWO THINGS TOGETHER! THAT'LL JUST MAKE THE COFFEE WARM!!"

"I can also go by your personal preference and add tabasco and toothpicks if you want."

"WHO WOULD HAVE SUCH A LIKING!?"

The baldy-sempai roared out with a fuming red face.

What should I do now? Such a ruckus will bring discomfort to others. At this moment, should I…oh yeah! I can calm him down by talking about something else!

"Oh yes, dear customer…"

"What? You want to say something?"

The baldy-sempai retorted angrily. In order to make him calm down I show a smile as I try to talk to him.

"Speaking of which, why aren't you wearing the bra on your head today?"

"GET OUT! WE'LL TALK OUTSIDE!!"

The plan failed. My efforts earned the wrath of the baldy-sempai as he takes the cup of coffee. Is he planning to splash it on me?

"HOW CAN I LET YOU DO THAT!?"

Sensing danger, I leap aside. The coffee that missed flies—

"AH!"

—and splashes onto the nearby Hideyoshi.

""Ah…""

Hideyoshi's clothes are dyed with a large stain of coffee.

"So, sorry, I wasn't aiming at you…"

The baldy-sempai bows to Hideyoshi in apology. Even if he's a sempai, what he did was too much.

"No need, please don't mind."

Hideyoshi responds with a gentle acting smile. That, that's definitely a professional level!

(Sorry to get you involved, Hideyoshi.)

(No need to worry, I just need to change clothes.)

(Hearing you say this, you really helped me out here.)

After exchanging a few words, Hideyoshi nods his head at the customer before heading to the restroom. He must be trying to get rid of the dirtied clothes.

—Speaking of which, are there any clothes for him to change into?

☆

--DING DONG!

"Hello, and welcome."

As Hideyoshi went to change clothes, I'm the one in charge of serving the customers this time.

On seeing my face, the customer lets out a bright smile.

"Hello, we're here, Akihisa-kun."

"Eh? Himeji-san?"

Walking into the shop is my classmate Himeji Mizuki-san. As there's no lessons today, her attire is of ordinary plainclothes. Though she's wearing a common shortskirt and T-shirt, her cute looks makes anything she wears look good on her. I really want to take her home.

"Not bad Aki. Heh~This really suits you, you know."

"Eh? Even Minami's here?"

Standing beside Himeji-san is my other classmate named Shimada Minami. She's wearing ordinary jeans and a T-shirt. Of course, this looks rather alluring, but if I'm to bring her home, I'll (my body and house) will definitely meet a tragic end.

"Oi oi oi, Mr Waiter, stop standing around. Can you lead us to our seats?"

Minami snickers at me as she waves her hand.

Ugh! Why do I feel that Minami's S-personality is appearing and disappearing at the same time!?

"Ah, okay, may I know how many of you are there?"

Even if we're friends, a customer's still a customer. I have to serve them well.

"4 of us."

"Eh? 4?"

But there's only Himeji-san and Minami in front of me. Who's the last one?

"One will be here later, as for the other one…"

Minami said as she looks into the shop.

"…Yuuji, hiding something from your wife is the start of having an affair."

"What's going on? I seem to hear Shouko's voice even when she's not supposed to be here! Is this a curse!?"

Class A's rep Kirishima-san is already standing behind Yuuji from who knows when.

"Kirishima-san told us that Akihisa-kun and the rest were working here."

"Ah, I see."

It'll be too rude to say 'but we didn't tell Kirishima-san about this~'. Let's just treat it as if a lovestruck girl's movements can't be underestimated.

"Anyway, please follow me."

""Okay~""

I lead them to a four-seater table and serve up some ice water.

After a while, Kirishima-san's seated as well.

"May I know what you have decided on?"

I ask the three of them who're looking at the menu.

"Hm~ what should I order?"

"Every item here looks good."

Himeji-san and Kirishima-san still seem like they're unable to decide. Both of them don't seem to have entered this shop before.

If I can just recommend them something…ah, that's it.

"Well, the last time I came here, I felt that the crepes were rather delicious."

I don't know if Muttsulini can replicate the taste, but I guess that guy has no problems with it, since there's the recipe for reference.

"…The last time you came here?"

What Himeji-san was interested in wasn't the crepes. I wasn't trying to talk about that…

"Ah, that…who did you go with?"

"Eh? With Minami--GWOH!"

"I, idiot! Mizuki! That…don't be mistaken, it's not like that! We didn't come alone here!"

Minami suddenly stuffed my mouth.

(Aki! stop spouting nonsense! Anyway, just follow what I say!)

Minami softly said that to me, and I can only nod my head. I don't know what's going on, but I better follow what she says.

"Eh? Not just the two of you? I, I see. If that's so…"

"Is, isn't this nonsense, right, Aki~"

"Uu, yeah. It wasn't just two people. There were four, including Yuuji!"

CRACK!!!

My right wrist got dislocated.

(Why are you saying things that're obviously lies! Sakamoto's here, can't they just ask him?)

"…Yoshii, who's the last one?"

Kirishima-san expression reaches her hand out for my left hand. If my answer can't satisfy her, this life can't possibly remain for long.

"The, the last one…is that person! Right Aki?"

"Ye, yeah! It's that person, that--"

If I'm to talk about someone who's here, the lie will definitely be seen through. If so, even if I can talk about someone who's unrelated to us, it won't feel realistic, so that won't do. And since we were in this kind of shop, a girl's name will seem more natural than a guy's…

"That---we came with Takahashi-sensei!"

CRRAAACCCKKK!!!

"WAAHHH!! MY WRIST JOINT WAS JUST REATTACHED AND IS NOW ABOUT TO BE DISLOCATED AGAIN!"

"SO I SAY, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID TO MAKE SUCH A STUPID LIE! HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY BE HERE WITH TAKAHASHI-SENSEI!?"

"Eh? What? It was a lie? So Akihisa-kun did come here with Minami?"

"…'A hellish gate has opened. Compensate the crime with your death. Are you ready, Yuuji?'"

"What, what happened!? Why is Shouko showing a battle stance!?"

Yuuji's within range of Kirishima-san's attack, and I'm currently under violence from Minami. In such a situation, what can I do…

--DING DONG!

"Sorry I'm late—eh, what's everyone doing?"

The one who broke this deadlock situation is everyone's idol Kinosheeta Hideyoshi—as if, that person is…

"…Yuuko."

That's right, it's Hideyoshi's twin sister Kinosheeta Yuuko-san. So the last one who will be here later was Kinosheeta-san. It's really rare for the four of them to move together.

"Incho, Shimada-san, calm down. It's not good to stir up violence in somebody else's shop!"

Kinosheeta-san stares at Kirishima-san and Minami, who were preparing to attack us. Seems like I haven't heard of such a logical statement after a long time.

"…But Yuuji, he—"

"Idiotic Aki actually—"

"Stop giving me excuses. If you do that, wouldn't the other customers be bothered?"

"…Got it."

"You're right…"

Being scolded by Kinosheeta-san, both of them immediately stopped their acts of murder. Are we saved?

"Oh ho, my sister really can talk."

"Ya, Hideyoshi! Good thing your sister helped us out—WAH, WHAT'S WITH THAT GETUP!?"

Hideyoshi, who ended up beside us since who knows when, is now in that gentle waitress uniform.

"Ohh, that's because I couldn't find any waiter uniform that suits me, so I could only wear this."

Hideyoshi said this as he lifts the shortskirt slightly. Is that so? So there aren't any more uniforms to choose from.

"Sigh, so what? Once the customers see you as a waitress, they should be rather happy."

With such a cute face, and such a defenseless action, any guy will be staring at Hideyoshi's legs.

"Like this?"

"Sort of."

Okay okay, good thing there's nothing that'll create such a huge commotion. We should continue work—

"Hideyoshi, can---------`` you please wait?"

—Or so we wanted to, but Kinosheeta Yuuko-san is standing in front of us.

"Uuoh? Ane-san, anything's the problem?"

Hideyoshi got his hand held firmly by his sister, but he just tilts his head, not understanding why as he asks.

"Don't worry too much. Yoshii-san, where's the washroom?"

"Eh? Over there."

"Really? Thanks."

After I pointed at the washroom, Kinosheeta-san grabbed Hideyoshi's wrist as she carries a smile, heading to the washroom.

"Ah, yea, Incho and Shimada-san…"

The moment she was about to disappear, Kinosheeta-san suddenly left these words.

"I take back what I said just now. Forget about disturbing others, those things you don't like, you can just deal with them however you want?"

'BAAM' After that, the sound of the washroom door being slammed can be heard.

"Ane-san, what's going on? Why are you grabbing onto my wrist?"

"I'm about to ask you why are you wearing such a short skirt and moving around? I did say it before, right? Because you're so reckless, I ended up having everyone staring at me so weirdly, so I warned you not to do that already, right?"

"Ahahaha, what are you saying. Isn't ane-san always walking around in her underwear at home? Right now, you don't really have to hide it—AH, ANE-SAN! NOOO! MY JOINTS CAN'T GO INTO THAT DIRECTION!!!"

"…Yuuji, I already got permission. Tell me everything about your date with Takahashi-sensei."

"What are you saying? And even though you asked me to spill the beans, it doesn't seem like you have any interest in listening! Am I thinking too much!?"

"Th, that, Akihisa-kun! As for what we talked about just now, so you and Minami really…"

"It, it, it, it, it's not like that, Mizuki! Aki's an idiot, so his memory is a little chaotic!"

"GYAH! MINAMI, CALM DOWN, LET GO OF MY HAND! IF THIS KEEPS UP, I'LL HAVE ANOTHER WRIST JOINT!!!"

Just as this hellish depiction is raised all over the shop—

"WHA, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING INSIDE THE SHOP!!!"

The shop roar echoes throughout the shop.

"Shop, shopkeeper?"

"Really, what are you doing when other people are unconscious? Forget about opening the shop, to actually do such things in front of the customers, what in the world are you people thinking!!!"

The forceful shout sounded really spine-chilling.

No matter how weak he is, he's still a shopkeeper. He can actually stop the angry Minami, Kirishima-san and Kinosheeta-san. If that's the case, me, Yuuji and Hideyoshi won't be killed, right? Great, this is great…

"Dear customers, I'm really sorry. Please don't mind these brats and continue to enjoy your teatime and resttime here."

The shopkeeper bows to the customers one by one. Now the shop should be back to normal, right? Just as I put my hand on my chest, thinking that everything's over—

—DING DONG!

The doorbell at the entrance lets out a sharp sound. Looking there, what seems like a mother and daughter combination walks into the shop.

"So how is it, 'papa'? Have you reflected properly?"

The one who said this to the shopkeeper was a girl with two spiral like curls. I seemed to have met her before.

"Mi, Miharu? DEAR MY ANGEL!!"

The shopkeeper immediately froze and reveals a teary look.

"That's great, shopkeeper, at least your daughter and wife are back."

"Yoshii-san…thank you…"

That's good, that's good, now at least there's a happy ending. Since I don't have to be executed and can also get my salary, and the shopkeeper got his wife and daughter back, everything's okay.

"Miharu…will never, ever leave papa again…"

The shopkeeper tearily stumbles towards his daughter, and the daughter slowly walks to the shopkeeper.

"Ah! Is that, Minami onee-sama? Are you here to look for Miharu? Aiya, if you had said so earlier, Miharu would have set the entire shop up and waited for you."

"Mi, Miharu! Is this your house!?"

But walking halfway, the daughter suddenly turns and widens her arms to try and hug Minami forcefully.

"…Mi…haru?"

"Sho, shopkeeper?"

Seeing the scene in front of him, the shopkeeper froze. Why do I see a large black terrifying aura behind him?

"…So it was you…"

As if he just returned from the depths of hell, the shopkeeper lets out a low bellow.

"So it was you? You damned woman who tricked MY DAUGHTTTAAAA!!!"

Suddenly, the shopkeeper shockingly increased his speed. This movement may be able to match Muttsulini's summoned beast in speed!

"Shop, shopkeeper! If you're going to lose your cool here, everyone's going to go crazy! And besides, isn't the saying 'you damned woman who tricked my daughter' too strange? Haven't you realized it?"

"DEAR MY DAUGHHHHHTTTEEEEERRRRR!!!!"

I can't stop him at all!

"…Yuuji, get ready to be punished."

"So I say, what are you talking about!? Why must I be punished by you—GYYAAAHHHHOOOOOOHHH!!!"

"Hideyoshi, you haven't fainted yet? The main course's starting now."

"Ah, ane-san! NO! MY JOINT CAN'T GO THERE…UU!!"

"Akihisa-kun! You haven't answered my question! So you and Minami went on a date!?"

"A date with onee-sama!? THIS ROTTEN PIG! I'M GOING TO DICE YOU UP!!"

"DEAR MY DAUGHHHHHTTTEEEEERRRRR!!!!"

"You, you're mistaken, uncle! I'm not with Miharu, but with Aki!"

"MI, MINAMI! DON'T GET ME INVOLVED! EH? WHY IS THE SHOPKEEPER COMING RIGHT AT ME! SOMEONE, SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!!!!"

☆

"…And then?"

"Urm, anyway—I just hope that mother-sama can graciously send me my pocket money. Please…"

"Really, you…"

"I, I tried my best, but my luck was bad, and with a lot of things that happened, there was a lot of disasters."

"Sigh, can't be helped. I'll just help you out this time."

"Really? Mother-sama, thank you very much!"

"But if you're not going to live your life properly—"

"If I don't live my life properly?"

"I'll send Akira over and make her watch every single move you make!"

"…Who's that? I don't seem to know her."

"Are you so stupid that you forgot your own family member's name?"

"MOM! PLEASE SHOW MERCY! I, I ALWAYS LIKED LIVING ALONE!"

"Shut up! If you want to live alone, you have to live properly!"

"MOM! MOM! PLEASE, JUST LISTEN TO ME!!!"

Du, du, du…

"…It should be alright, right? She just said, if only I live my life properly…right?"