Because I Cannot Hurt You

"I wanted to rebel. Following your father's footsteps was so old-fashioned. I didn't want anybody to dictate the way I would live my life whether it was my career or sexuality. From a decent boy, I became a delinquent who hung out with the local gangs. Naturally, there were all types of gangs. But I was sane enough to join one that was basically just trying to help people. It was a gang made by troubled teenagers like me."

Shuang softly chuckled. "So did you get tattoos and all that stuff?"

He smirked. "I did and just to irritate the hell out of him. Those were not permanent tattoos though. Mom wasn't really sure about bisexuality, but she was willing to understand me. Though in the end, she also lowkey wished for me to be normal. She couldn't see a future between two guys. Dad's temper had broken all the charts. He was biased against them."

"So when did you date Michael?"

"Later. Before that, Dad and I had a huge fight when I came out, and I left the house. I crashed at his house for a while and then one day casually asked him out. I didn't expect him to agree but he actually did."

"He said he wanted to try it out."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Dating a man was something different. So, he agreed. He agreed because he wanted to try something different. I did it because I was interested in him and also because I wanted to piss off Dad."

Her mouth twitched.

"He was being an ass. So I wanted to rebel. I joined gangs and dated men. It only blew up his fuse more and more. Mom tried to diffuse tension between us, but it couldn't work. I didn't want to bend to him and he didn't want to accept me as I was either."

Shuang pursed her lips and continued patting his head.

"Is that you left home? Because he wasn't ready to understand you?"

Jack seemed somber as he spoke the next part, "No. It's what happened one time. Well, I was a delinquent and had my own shares of fights naturally. People used to be scared of my gang. There was one rival gang from another school who used to pick up fights with us and always lost. They were like seriously bad. Harassing women, vandalizing small shops and petty robberies was common for them. We were their archenemy because we used to stop them. So to take revenge, they ganged up on one of my gang members one night and beat the shit out of him."

She widened her eyes. "What!? How bad?"

There was a beat of silence.

"Bad enough for him to suffer a crack in his skull. They knew they couldn't win against me one on one or my gang combined, so they targeted the weakest link in our gang. His name was Philip. He wasn't much of a fighter. He liked to hang out with us because he had his fair share of problems at home with his step-father. They beat him badly. He was hospitalized. The assault could have damaged his brain, but thankfully it didn't."

Shuang saw the creases on his forehead visibly ease. His fists were shaking when he was talking about Philip. She could see that it was an incident that affected him the most.

And why not? Philip was his gang member and one of his friends.

"He was a sweet guy. I had dated him too."

"..."

Shuang coughed. "Did you date all your gang members?"

Jack looked up at her and narrowed his eyes. "How do you know?"

"..." ƒ𝒓e𝐞we𝚋𝙣ｏ𝚟𝚎𝘭.co𝙢

"Is somebody jealous?" He smirked. "Don't let it bother you, Shuang. It was my past."

"..."

She pinched his cheek hard. "What happened then? Did you beat the shit out of that gang then?"

Jack's gaze turned darker and furious. "Of course. They dared touch my ex-boyfriend and my gang member. I was not gonna let them off. They suffered hell," he sneered. "I hid my involvement because it was easy to get implicated as a revenge assault. That gang could never prove it was us. But they were sent to juvenile detention."

Shuang felt that this wasn't so easy.

"How was Philip?"

"At first, everybody was shit scared. He was beaten to his head. We thought he was gonna die or lose his memories. I never left Philip's side even once in the hospital. Apart from beating the shit out of the other gang."

She softly smiled. "Is that why you decided to become a brain doctor?"

He let out a wry chuckle. "Funny, isn't it? I swore I was never going to become a doctor. I almost broke off with Dad over that. But when I saw Philip in that state, I didn't even think twice to decide that I wanted to be a doctor. Philip's condition was later stabilized. But at first, he was really serious. Even the doctors at that time looked doubtful. I felt like if I had been a doctor, I would have easily saved him."

"It's not funny. It means that you care about your friends really so much. You decided to do something that you swore you never would. I admire that seriousness and loyalty from you."

She bent and kissed his lips. He smiled and kissed her back.

She then asked, "I don't think this is over. What happened with your parents when Philip was hospitalized?"

"Naturally, Dad was enraged. Even more than him, Philip's mom was. His step-father didn't care much. She blamed me for getting his son into trouble, and Dad was always against me becoming a delinquent. When this accident happened, it brought serious implications on his career as a doctor and more so my future. Nobody would take me in college. My future would be ruined and so could his career. I mean, a doctor's son is beating and assaulting people instead of acting noble. It was a big mess."

He sighed. "Once again, a big fight happened. Dad naturally blamed the other gang but he thought I was the source for causing all this trouble in the first place. He threw me out of the house that day."