Classroom of the Elite (LN)

Raising my groggy head, I rolled out of bed.

It wasn’t like I had a fever or anything, but there was a constant, mild ache. The cause was obvious—it was all this guilt I had for skipping school for five days now. Even though, until now, I had never taken a day off unless I was sick. Racked with guilt, I tried thinking of anything else to get rid of those feelings, but I just couldn’t drive them out of my head. If it were possible to get over it just by trying a little, I wouldn’t have had to take five days off…

Let’s try something different for a change, I thought as I picked up my phone. Leaving numerous messages unread, I tapped on the photos folder and went to the earliest ones I had. As I scrolled through those shots, I started feeling nostalgic. What first stopped my hand was a photo of me just after I’d started school, back when I still didn’t have anyone I could call a friend.

It was the first—and only—two-shot I had with Hirata-kun. I still couldn’t smile properly, but he was next to me, smiling kindly. Even now, I’m not very good at smiling, but I feel like I have improved a lot since then.

“I miss it…”

School life in Japan, where I was a fish out of water. The first one to help me unravel my nervousness was Hirata-kun.

At that time, I was still unaware that I had fallen in love. I only thought that he was handsome, kind, and a wonderful person. I didn’t realize it because I didn’t have time for love when I was in China, where academics were very rigorous and competitive. I don’t know when exactly I noticed that I was in love with him, but, from the day I became aware of it, I knew that I could never put it into words.

Because Hirata-kun was popular, and a person like me could never reach him. Even if I did the wrong thing and told him my feelings, it would just bother him. So I kept it to myself and was satisfied with just being by his side.

“—And yet.”

Just thinking about it again made me feel embarrassed and scared, and tears started to stream down my face.

“What should I…”

Everyone in class found out that I like Hirata-kun. They definitely realized that I was trying to be next to Hirata-kun back when we were changing seats, didn’t they? I don’t know what kind of expression I should put on when I go back to school…

After coming to that thought, I was struck by another, different bout of guilt.

When she was expelled, Sakura-san was both kind and harsh to Hasebe-san. It must have been immensely painful for her, to the extent that it would be unfathomable for someone like me. And yet, I had enough on my plate with just myself, and in the hope that the exam would hurry up and end, I pressed the button in support of expulsion.

“I’m the worst…”

I hate myself for being an awful person, and it hurts, it hurts! The insignificant worries of a person like me…

The sight of myself smiling awkwardly bothered me, so I decided to put the phone to sleep, but then I remembered an email I’d received from Ayanokouji-kun on Monday night. How is Ayanokouji-kun feeling right now, I wonder? Is he still properly going to school after expelling a precious friend with his own hands?

If he is going, what kind of… I’d like to meet up in person and talk to him… That was what I was thinking when I scanned what he sent me.

I’d like to meet up in person and talk.

“Ah…”

Ayanokouji-kun’s message was connected to what I’d been thinking, as if he’d put my own thoughts into writing. His phone and room numbers were also included, just in case. Would he be able to give me advice?

Apart from Ayanokouji-kun, there were many other people, too, who were worried about me. Are you okay? You want to talk? You don’t need to force yourself, you know? Although I was grateful for their kind words, I wasn’t confident that responding to any of them would lead to a resolution. But if it was Ayanokouji-kun… I wanted him to hear me out, I wanted to hear what he had to say.

“…Let’s go… maybe.”

It was still only 5:30 PM. A bit early for dinner… I didn’t think it was so late that I would be impolite even if I called on him out of the blue. I struggled with it while pacing back and forth in my room for a while, and the clock just kept ticking. I steeled my resolve and decided to go visit Ayanokouji-kun.

I picked up my phone and nervously called him. Five rings, six rings… after hearing ten rings, I was wondering whether I should just hang up when… Ayanokouji-kun answered the call and I got so flustered that the words spilled out of my mouth right away.

“Ahh, um, it’s Wang! Uh, is this Ayanokouji-kun?”

“You decided to call me.”

Ayanokouji-kun’s voice echoed slightly, and I could faintly hear the sound of the shower running.

“…Yes. I haven’t been able to leave my room, and I was struggling, but… I felt like I might be able to take that step now… so I was wondering if maybe I could talk to you a little bit…”

“Right now?”

“Is this a bad time…? I’m sorry for calling so suddenly… I am hopeless, aren’t I…”

The timing was bad… Maybe it was impossible no matter what I did.

“That’s not the case, but could you wait a bit? 30 minutes, no, I’ll be ready in 20 minutes,” said Ayanokouji-kun, perhaps catching on to how depressed I was.

“Th-thank you very much! I will be there in 20 minutes! Then, if you’ll excuse me!”

I was strangely nervous, and, unable to stand it any longer, I hung up immediately.

“Whew… My heart is racing…”

Maybe the fact that I hadn’t spoken to anyone for a week had affected me…

I fixed myself up while I waited, and after about 20 minutes, I was done preparing and left my room. The front door felt heavier than usual, and when I opened it—

“Ah, again…”

A plastic bag was placed by my door.

“You came today as well.”

There was jelly, tea, sandwiches, and more inside the bag. I’d first noticed it on Monday night when I quietly left my room to go to the convenience store. At first, I thought someone had just left it in the wrong place, but placed inside was a small piece of paper with my room number written on it. However, with no name given, I didn’t know who was responsible for these little care packages.

“Ah, there’s a salad in there today… but… it’s not really my kind of thing…”

A chicken breast salad with lots of protein. Nevertheless, there was a kindness in the fact that the line-up changed a little every day.

“Just who could it be?”

There was nothing else in the plastic bag that might provide a clue, and there wasn’t a receipt either. Feeling grateful to nameless-san, I left it at the entrance for now and headed down the stairs to the fourth floor, where Ayanokouji-kun’s room was. Going to the floor where the boys’ rooms were made me so weirdly nervous…

With such thoughts in my head, I entered the corridor just as the door to someone’s room opened. It seemed to be none other than Ayanokouji-kun’s room. But the one who came out was—

I wondered who it was for a moment, but it turned out to be Karuizawa-san. Instead of the beautiful ponytail she usually sported, her hair was sleek and straight. And after her came Ayanokouji-kun, dressed casually, making a pair.

Were they perhaps on a date inside his room…? If so, my call must have been incredibly annoying… My mood was about to plummet again, but I couldn’t run away after coming this far.

Karuizawa-san quickly checked her surroundings, and so our eyes met.

“Ah, th-this is that ‘speak of the devil’ thingy, right? See you later, Kiyotaka!”

When I nervously took a deep breath, Karuizawa-san also took two deep breaths. Maybe she would say something about Hirata-kun.

“B-bye bye!”

“E-eh?”

I braced myself, but she just said goodbye and walked past me without making eye contact. I called out to stop her as she walked off at a brisk pace.

“Um, Karuizawa-san!”

“W-w-w-what?”

“…I’m sorry for calling Ayanokouji-kun so suddenly… I was disturbing you, wasn’t I…”

“You weren’t, not at all! Really.”

“But…”

“You wanted some advice, right? Kiyotaka said so. He said if he didn’t call for you now, you’d have to build up the courage to get out of your room all over again.”

As I thought, it seemed he was able to figure out my feelings from the other side of the phone. Karuizawa-san stopped walking and came back a little, smiling kindly.

“I think it’s fine for you to feel free and ask for advice. He’s good at talking, and although he can be a bit clumsy with his words at times, I think he’ll give you the answers you’re looking for.”

“—Yes.”

I’d come this far. I had to crush all these useless thoughts or I’d never get back up. I felt like it was all thanks to Karuizawa-san that I could steel myself that much.

“Well then, I’ll be waiting for you next Monday.”

She gave me a pep talk to cheer me on, and, just like that, repeatedly mashed the buttons to call the elevator. However, when she realized that it wouldn’t come any time soon, she used the emergency exit stairway to go back instead.

“Thank you very much, Karuizawa-san.”

At the very least, she didn’t seem to be pissed at me. I always had the impression that she would be scary if I pissed her off, but today’s Karuizawa-san exuded a gentle feeling and was very kind! Anyway, I couldn’t afford to think about anything unnecessary right now, so I hurried towards Ayanokouji-kun’s room.

I pressed the bell and the door opened after about 30 seconds. Ayanokouji-kun was silent after welcoming me in, so I immediately rushed to speak.

“U-um… I got your message, and… uh, I wanted to talk to you a bit…!”