Dao of the Bizarre Immortal

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Dan Yangzi had found the one who broke his vase, but he was not happy about it. He kicked away Zheng Kun’s corpse with a complicated expression.

“I’ve been raising you like a godson! To think that you would betray me like this!”

The cave was completely silent with the exception of Dan Yangzi’s rapid breathing.

This lasted for an entire ten minutes before Dan Yangzi pointed at Li Huowang among the crowd. “You, come forward and kowtow to the three deities.”

Li Huowang was momentarily stunned by his words. Under everyone’s gaze, he slowly kneeled in front of the three deities and kowtowed.

When he was done, Li Huowang knew what was coming as he held the incense sticks.

“From now on, you will be my direct disciple!”

“Yes, Master.” Li Huowang was ecstatic!

This moment has finally come! Don’t you fucking worry, Baldy. I will definitely help you attain “immortality”.

“Come with me. I need you to do something,” Dan Yangzi said as he carefully picked up the remains of the head and her organs in his arms.

Li Huowang followed him, and soon he was back in Dan Yangzi’s room.

The sound of ropes flying through the air echoed in Dan Yangzi’s room as the black threads binding the stone tablet flew off and entered Dan Yangzi’s sleeves like little black snakes. At that moment, the sacred text was displayed in its entirety in front of Li Huowang. “Can you read what is written on this?”

Li Huowang scrutinized the tablet and asked, “Master, didn’t you say that in order to become an Immortal we need to be able to refine both internal and external pills? However, the method to refine the internal pills isn’t here.”

“What?!” Dan Yangzi’s eyes flickered back and forth between him and the dead girl.

“I am telling the truth,” Li Huowang said with conviction.

Li Huowang didn’t know what kind of lies the girl in the vase had fed to Dan Yangzi. If he were to follow her original script, there was a high chance of failing, so he decided that it would be much easier to be honest and come up with something else.

Furthermore, it was not as if he was lying. It was the truth. The entire method to become an Immortal was a fake story that the girl in the vase had come up with.

Naturally, he would also come up with his own fake story and method as well.

Dan Yangzi was initially hesitant about believing Li Huowang completely. But the more he thought about it, the more untrustworthy the previous method seemed.

No wonder I haven’t been able to become an Immortal even after such a long time. She always said that the words in the sacred text changed every day and were not possible to memorize.

“Ptui!” A vile green glob hit the girl’s head as Dan Yangzi spit on her. He then turned and looked at Li Huowang. “So, what does it really say?!”

“This stone tablet records a technique to cultivate internal strength. It says here that during the time between the new year’s eve and the new year, it is possible to utilize several external pills and this technique to capture a portion of the spiritual energy that the heavens release into the mortal realm. We can then absorb it and use it to become Immortals.” Li Huowang stared at the stone tablet and uttered each word with such confidence that it seemed like all his words were the truth.

“It seems that there are several kinds of pills. This one requires 120g of Cinnabar, 5g of White Strychnine, 60g of Asadin, and... a Wandering God? Master, what kind of ingredient is a Wandering God?”

Dan Yangzi did not reply immediately, instead observing Li Huowang for a while. “You! Even that little girl could trick me. Are you also trying to do the same?”

Li Huowang immediately replied. “Master, this is the method to become an Immortal! How could I trick you?! After all, I want to become an Immortal too!”

“Good!” Dan Yangzi clapped and laughed happily. “Then let’s become Immortals together, both master and disciple!”

Li Huowang was stunned for a moment, before continuing his facade, displaying an extremely excited expression. “Is that true? Master! Can I become an Immortal too?! Thank you, Master!”

Meanwhile, Dan Yangzi had been silently observing Li Huowang’s expression and only nodded after he was certain that there was nothing wrong with Li Huowang.

“Yes. Don’t worry about the pills. Now, tell me how to use the technique. When both of us have mastered it, we will proceed to refine the pills. There is still quite sometime before the new year.”

“Yes, Master!” Li Huowang then proceeded to teach him how to use the Internal and External Heavenly Circulation technique that he had come up with.

Li Huowang was in Dan Yangzi’s room for quite a long time. He only managed to get back to his room late at night.

Li Huowang happily walked down the tunnels with his lantern illuminating the path in front of him. He was satisfied with how things were going and how quickly he would be able to achieve his objective.

He was delighted with this opportunity after having waited for so long.

When he came to the Preparation Room, just as he had expected, the guiding drug ingredients inside still hadn't gone to sleep.

As he walked in, all of them surrounded him, their eyes filled with happiness and excitement. Everyone knew what today’s developments meant for them and Li Huowang. Li Huowang had already told them about what might happen today beforehand. free(w)ebnov(e)l

“Don’t worry and just wait for my good news. All of you will be able to go home soon.”

As Li Huowang said this, everyone almost cried from happiness. They would finally be able to go home!

“Senior Li! I will treat you as my adoptive father! You are practically a living saint!” One of them who was affected by hand, foot, and mouth disease was kneeling on the ground and kowtowing to Li Huowang with gratitude.

Everyone else saw this and followed suit.

Li Huowang made some effort to calm them all down. “If it weren’t for all of you this afternoon, then I would’ve been dead. Shouldn’t I be the one kneeling in front of you now?”

All of them stood up, their faces lit up with their bright smiles.

Li Huowang stared at their happy faces, feeling something warm in his heart. In this bizarre world, these malformed people were more or less his comrades.

“Senior Li, how was my acting? That Baldy was so stupid that he fell for my act!” Puppy pounded his chest with pride.

“Not bad. If it weren’t for you, Dan Yangzi might not have been fooled so easily.”

While everyone was praising him and asking questions, a certain someone was worried about him.

“Senior Li, are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Bai Lingmiao came up to him, her eyes filled with worry.

Li Huowang suddenly remembered how Dan Yangzi wanted to become an Immortal with him. This would also mean that Dan Yangzi wanted Li Huowang to test the pills first.

I don’t need to tell her this.

“He has to rely on me to translate the contents of the sacred text now. Don’t worry, he will never harm me.”

After exchanging some pleasantries, Li Huowang became serious. “The first day of the month is almost over, and the Wandering Gods will soon return from their procession. I need your help. Did your grandfather tell you any other stories like these?”

He still hasn't figured out what kind of ingredients he should list to refine the fake pills.

Merely cinnabar or other minerals containing mercury would not be enough to satisfy him. Li Huowang needed ingredients that were extremely toxic or vile—the worst of their kind.

He still remembered just how strong Dan Yangzi was. He needed to make sure that Dan Yangzi would die this time.