Chapter 1594 Crazy Old Man
Hazel and Helena closed Primula's ears from either side and kept the little girl from barging into a cave.
Even without their master's instructions, the maids wouldn't let a little girl hear the profanities coming from inside.
"I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!"
"Now, now, don't be so fussy, angry man."
"Old man? I'm still young enough to whoop your ass!"
"I'm a pseudo divine, you are a rank 9. I can beat a thousand like you."
"Then I'll call my daughters. Will you beat them?"
"…"
"Wait, the question is…can you beat them even if you wanted to?"
"…"
"Hahahaha! Didn't think you would have a day like this! Now is the best time! While you are still weaker and helpless, I'll ask them to get the deed done.
Ahahahahaha! It's coming true. It's finally coming true! Varian, you little bastard, if you don't resist, it won't hu—mfff!"
"Old man, don't take it personally. I'm just trying to tighten your loose screws."
"How dare you? Do you really think I am a soft old man? Here, take th—mff!"
"I'm really sorry but they're not tight yet."
"You! You bastard! You beat an eld—ouch!"
"I'm sorry, my dear elder."
"You're so dea—kggh!"
"Will you stop now?"
"Nev—ughh!"
The sounds went on for an hour before they stopped.
"Elder Sister, who do you think won?" Hazel tilted her head with a curious expression.
"If it's a test of strength, there's nothing to question. But if it's about convincing him to give up, the old man won't budge."
Even before her words ended, Varian walked out of the cave supporting a middle-aged man with his arm around his shoulder.
The man had a beard that reached his waist and hair which was longer than his entire body. He looked as crazy as they come.
"…Come on, beat me up." He bumped into Varian and said. "I can do this all day! The only way you can shut me up is by killing me."
Varian rolled his eyes. "That's a bit too far, you are my father-in-law."
"You ungrateful donkey!" Evander blew his beard and roared. "Where was that consience when you were beating up an old man like me? You thrash me just because I ask for my rightful grandkids?"
"…It's not about that." Varian shook his head. "Everyone around me is crazy. I got very frustrated. And you just happen to give me a good reason to vent my anger."
"What a shameless fellow?! Why did they both have to marry you?" Evander shed tears of regret.
"Too late to regret now." Varian snickered and placed his hand on Evander's beard.
Evander stepped back in shock. "Even if you are rude, you can't be that rude to pull your father-in-law's beard!"
"…This is because there is Primula."
"Don't worry, I won't scare the little girl. I've studied how to take care of children very thoroughly."
"Not that. She will pull your beard or use it as a swing once she sees it." With a tip of his fingers, a silver light glowed.
"Wait, my thousand year old be—"
Once the light faded, a sharp middle-aged man in old fashioned clothes remained.
"Tsk, a terrible fashion sense as always. They were out of trend even a thousand years ago." Varian shook his head in disgust.
"What do you know, brat? Girls lined up to see me in my college days. I don't follow your stupid trends, I set them!" Evander snorted and walked out with an arrogant expression.
Varian walked behind him with an amused expression.
Unexpectedly, Evander managed to spend a thousand years just fine. He trained a lot physically, honed his mentality and created new ways of fighting. Of course, his obsession with grandkids remained.
'But how can I have kids now?'
Leaving aside very genuine reasons like Varian being still too young to be even called an Uncle much less Dad, he had no certainty about his future.
What if he had kids now, had to go for a fight, ended up in some weird dimension and it's 10,000 years once he returned?
With how things went this time, the scenario wasn't far fetched.
'If I have kids, I want them to grow in a safe environment. And I want to see them grow and be there for them.'
Obviously, it's not going to happen anytime soon.
The maids and Primula returned to the Spring Palace, his favorite. Evander declared he'd tour Hortus for a while but would return on time for dinner.
Finally, the last person to meet.
"Brother-in-law!"
She fell from the sky in a way that she'd come right into his arms if he stretched them.
Of course, he didn't.
Boom!
"Ouch, my dress." Aurora stood up, rubbing her back and looked at him with a resentful gaze.
"Thank you for helping Sarah." Varian bowed his head.
"No, no, it's fine! I just…"
"It must've been very hard but you never complained. Thank you."
"I…Hey, this is cheating!" Aurora was flustered. "You can't just praise me out of nowhere!"
"Of course, I can. Good job, Aurora. You helped us a lot. Without you, they might have not been safe. I'm eternally grateful."
"Ah!" Aurora squatted, covering her ears and shaking her head with a red face. "It's too much!"
Varian was genuinely thanking her but seeing her flustered, he decided to go a step further. "Thank you, you are the best! Thank you, you protected them! Thank you, I can't thank you enough!"
"Arhh, I hate you!"
Aurora kicked the ground and vanished into the sky.
"…I didn't expect the meeting to be so short." Varian looked up with a grateful smile. "I shouldn't have teased her like that."
"So you know you're teasing me!"
Varian turned around in shock and saw Miss Calamity smirking.
"…"
How could he forget? A divine ranker like could leave bits of life power and swap places with it, easily travelling through space. Or maybe the one who previously arrived was an avatar?
"Ahem, ahem, don't praise me anymore. Or I'll really leave this time."
"Fine. But you really did a good j—" Varian covered his mouth.
Miss Calamity was indispensable for safety.
Sarah could've used the power of time to change her perception of time to make the 1,000 years feel like 100.
But she didn't do it.
A few years after his disappearance, Hortus was being tracked down by Keman and Yami.
Even if Aphosis helped cover their tracks, it wouldn't be foolproof.
So, Oob went into a deep sleep to focus only on stealth. Sarah, having some administrative rights of Hortus, used all her powers to keep Hortus as hidden as possible.
Miss Calamity assisted Sarah however she could while Isadora remained occupied with the outbreaks of Sia and Enigma.
She didn't even hesitate to provide her own divine power to Hortus to enhance its stealth.
It was a very risky thing to do as it put her in a vulnerable state where Sarah could strip her off her divine power permenantly if she wished.
Even with Aurora's help, Sarah was gradually unable to continue. Thankfully, he arrived at that time. But that only emphasized how critical she was to their safety.
Without Aurora, things could've been very different.
"I will not say thanks anymore." Varian looked into her eyes. "You saved their lives. I will save yours. Even if the enemy is Asherah."
"…That's cheating! Don't stay cool stuff like that!"
"…"
Varian sighed and looked at the sky with a tired expression.
'A normal man like me surrounded by abnormal people, may the stars help my sanity.'