Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"It's strange, don't you think? The two of us did so well during the exam, you'd think people would be lining up to join us." 𝗳𝘳𝒆𝘦𝑤𝐞𝚋𝗻𝚘𝘷𝘦𝙡.𝑐𝐨𝘮

"It's not that strange, everyone here wants to stand out, they're here for personal glory. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn't want to team up with someone who outclasses me," I replied half heartedly.

After all, I wouldn't want to team up with someone, period. But that was off the table now. No, I wasn't sulking. I was just disappointed that my solo plans were ruined and as a result, I was feeling a bit blue. That's totally different.

"Do you think we should make more of an effort to attract people?"

Goddammit, stop using words like 'we' and 'us', you're just driving the knife deeper into my wounds of disappointment.

"You can do that if you want. It doesn't really matter, eventually the other groups will fill up and the leftovers will have no choice but to join us, their fellow leftovers."

"Dude...I mean, you're not exactly wrong, but do you have to word it like that? So negative," Replied Rai, shaking his head.

Watch it, blondie. In my current mood, I won't hesitate to throat punch you if you push my buttons.

In the end, no one voluntarily joined us. The other three groups were complete, one of them with six members.

"The first three groups have all been confirmed. All the remaining students, please form the fourth group," Said Instructor Tabbs.

"Looks like the last group is just a collection of leftovers," Sneered a guy with long blonde hair.

"What's his problem? You can't just go around calling strangers leftovers," Growled Rai, glaring at him.

I mean, to be fair, I called us leftovers too, literally a few minutes ago...had he already forgotten? The other groups had already begun rearranging their desks, the group of six were in the front-right side of the classroom, their desks arranged in two rows of three.

The group in the front-left had simply made a single row of five, the classroom was wide enough to do that, but it still looked kinda odd. The third group was in the back-right corner, and they had arranged their desks in the same pattern as the 'five' on a dice. The remaining students walked up to the back-left corner, where Rai and I were sitting.

"Hey there, I'm Rai, and this is Kuro! It's nice to meet all of you, and I look forward to working with you all!" He greeted them eagerly.

I looked up at the rest of my, ugh, group.

A guy with medium-length brown hair and sleepy looking eyes, a girl with shortish red hair and a serious expression on her face, and...the cat girl!

...on second thought, maybe I was being a bit too negative, it never hurts to try new things, after all.

"Uh, y-yeah. What he said."

Did I just...stammer? No way, my throat was just dry, that's all. f𝙧𝒆𝚎𝑤e𝚋𝓷o𝘷𝗲l.c𝐨m

"Yes, nice to meet you, as well. My name is Key Angor. And this is Azyl Roake," Said the red head, introducing herself and the sleepy looking guy.

He didn't respond, instead looking like he was lost in his own little world.

"I-I'm Persia Gerit," Said Cat Girl, looking a bit nervous.

Guess she wasn't used to working with others either. We ended up arranging our desks so that there were two rows, a front row of three and a back row of two. I made sure to get the corner seat in the back row.

The front row had Azyl in the corner seat, Key in the middle and Rai in the aisle seat. And next to me was Persia.

In my previous life, if you'd told me that I'd get to sit next to a cat girl in my next life, I'd have probably made sure to die sooner. Well, realistically I wouldn't have believed you, and I probably would have assumed that you were making fun of my otaku hobbies and killed you.

Meanwhile, in front of me, I watched as Rai turned his attention to Key, subjecting her to the same verbal torture that had previously inflicted on me. My condolences, Redhead, but better you than me.

"Now then, to complete your orientation, I have a list of Quests at D-Ranked difficulty level that each group can pick from, consider it a team building exercise," Announced Miss Tabbs, holding up a bunch of scrolls through her long sleeves, her arms and hands hidden.

One person from each of the other groups came forward and began rifling through the scrolls containing the details of the available missions.

"Tch, the rewards for these Quests are lousy. These are not worth the effort! I find it rather insulting for me be given such meagre options!" Said the member from the group of six.

It was that long haired blonde guy again.

"Wow, talk about humility," Came a quiet, sarcastic mumble.

I turned my head and stared at Persia in surprise, that was pretty unexpected.

"I-I didn't say anything," She stammered, turning away as she realized that I'd heard her.

Oh, wow. That was kinda...adorable.

"It's insulting, is it? Very well, your group will be given a different team building assignment. Go to the training hall, I will join you once I'm done here," Said Instructor Tabbs, in an emotionless, robotic voice.

Yikes. She had a cold smile on her face, and was giving off a distinctly murderous vibe. The guy looked like he was about to say something in retaliation, but backed off when he saw her expression.

A wise move, if you ask me. His group walked out of the classroom, after which the other two groups each picked a Quest.

"Alright, guess it's our turn! I'll go get one, what kind of Quest should we go for?" Said Rai, standing up.

"I am fine with anything," Replied Key.

Azyl just shrugged and yawned in reply.

"Kuro?"

Seriously, you just had to put me on the spot, you annoying blonde lemur?

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe something that involves killing monsters?"

Huh, should I have really said 'killing' so bluntly?

Maybe 'take out' or 'destroy' would have been better. Seriously, why was I getting so hung up on what I should and shouldn't say? I know that I had decided to be more cautious about blurting out whatever came to mind, but I can't keep second-guessing every little thing I say.

After sorting through the remaining Quests, Rai came back with two scrolls.

"Alright, I narrowed it down to two Quests. The first, is picking wild mushrooms from the forest, which is infested with Orcs. And the second is gathering green crystals from the caves, which is heavily concentrated with Goblins. Let's take a vote and decide which to go with."

From what I'd heard, Orcs were pretty slow moving and hardly a challenge, while Goblins tended to be a bit more agile. While I was curious about what Orcs were like, not to mention that I was yet to see any of the surrounding areas besides the rocky spot...I'll pick the option I was already familiar with. I had never worked with a team before, so I should play it safe.

"I vote Goblins."

"I shall vote for Orcs."

"yeah, same...Orcs."

"U-uh, I'll go with G-Goblins."

The first goblin vote was me, the two orc votes were Key and Azyl respectively, and the last one had been Persia.

"Guess I'm the tie breaker. You know what, I'm not particularly for or against either option, so let's decide with a coin flip! Heads for Goblins and tails for Orcs!"

About an hour later, we were standing outside the large cave entrance by the Goblin territory I visited on most nights.

Today had felt like a pretty long day, I needed to let off some steam. I'd picked up some small explosives on the way here, but now that I think about it, a cave probably wasn't the best place to toss bombs around.

"Alright, let's head inside!" Declared Rai, walking towards the entrance.

"Hold on, we need to be clear on how we plan to operate once we're in there. Goblins may be weak, but they drastically outnumber us, we should proceed with caution," Interrupted Key.

That was a good point, I had completely overlooked it since this is the first time that I'm not working alone.

"Oh, you're just being paranoid, Key-Key! It'll all be fine, let's just get in there and tear up the place!"

I sighed, he had been pushing her buttons from the moment this group was formed. Her seat was next to his in the classroom, so she had to bear the full brunt of his chatter, and the whole time we were walking here, he hadn't let up.

She had been quiet out of politeness, I could sense her frustration building for a while now, to be honest, her patience and restraint up to this point were pretty impressive. But it looked like she had finally snapped.

"Listen, you annoying happy-go-lucky chatterbox of an idiot, I'm not going to risk getting killed by monsters just because you're too carefree to think things through!" She snapped in frustration, her red hair making her anger look all the more intimidating.

"R-right, guess I got a bit too excited, I'll tone it down," He replied sheepishly, more in fear than in actual remorse though.

"Oh, and another thing," She said coldly, grabbing his tail, causing him to flinch, "If you ever call me by a stupid nickname like Key-Key again, I'll..."

I didn't hear the rest as she whispered it to his ear, but based on the color draining from his face, her threat was quite effective.

"S-so, how should we plan our advance, Miss Key?"

"Don't patronize me."

"Y-yes, ma'am!"

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Persia stifling a laugh, turning away as she noticed my gaze.

"Hmm, we're likely to face multiple waves of Goblins as we advance in there, perhaps each of us taking turns in handling each wave? That way, we can conserve energy, as well as get a better idea of what we're each capable of," Suggested Key.

"Um...what about if we come across a wave of Goblins that's too big for a single person to handle?" Chimed in Persia.

"That's a good point. In that case, one or two of the rest of us can support the person whose turn it is. We should head back out if it comes to that though, if all five of us are forced to fight at the same time, we'll just get in each other's way."

After we all agreed on the plan, we headed in through the entrance of the cave. I hung around the back of the group, keeping an eye out for any traps as our surroundings got darker the farther we walked in.

"Stop!" I warned, noticing a slight glint above us.

Wait, I wasn't the only one who called out just now, Azyl had noticed it too. Though his warning shout was more of a sleepy, barely urgent whisper.

Rai had been at the front of the group, a few more steps forward and he would have been in the range of the trap. A handful of Goblins clutching rusty looking blades were above us, most likely waiting until we were right under them to drop down and skewer us.

"Dammit, we were nearly taken out this early? I hadn't noticed them at all," Growled Key in frustration.

"Hey, nice catch, Kuro! That was close, huh?" Laughed Rai, grinning.

"You...how can you be so baslessly optimistic!? It's a bit disturbing and pretty off-putting," Sighed Key, looking quite bemused at his attitude.

"So, who wants to go first?" I asked, staring at the growling monsters above us.

"I'll take care of this. I desperately need to let off some steam," Volunteered Key, drawing her sword from her hip.

If I remember right, she had fared better than most against Admin Dile, her skills with the sword were pretty good.

It was a crimson red blade, glinting brightly even inside this dark cave. She got into her stance, as flames began sprouting and engulfing the blade. The cave was now brightly lit, as the Goblins dropped down from the ceiling, brandishing their rusty daggers at her.

"Consider yourselves unlucky, you aren't exactly the person I REALLY want to burn, but I need take out these frustrations on someone!"

She dashed forward, while intensifying and compressing the flames around her sword. One of the Goblins jumped at her, but before it could reach her, she swung her sword in a perfect arc, expelling the flames in a powerful, fiery blast in front of her. In an instant, the small group of Goblins had been incinerated into nothing.

Talk about overkill. She wasn't kidding when she said she needed to let off some steam, her face looked a lot more relaxed now.

"Alright, let's move forward!" She declared, sheathing her blade.

"Scary. I should be careful not to piss her off ever again," Laughed Rai a bit nervously, walking next to me.

No way...she had scared him off, so now he was back to talking to me.

Dammit, I should have kept my mouth shut and just let the Goblins drop down on him.

We continued advancing into the cave, after a while it started getting too dark to see, Key lit up her sword again to guide us, as I left nicks on the cave wall so that we'd be able to easily find our way back out.

We encountered three more groups of Goblins that we dispatched pretty easily, I took on the first one, Rai after that, and Persia took care of the last batch. The only one yet to fight was Azyl.

"Hey, what are we doing? You do remember that killing Goblins isn't the actual Quest, right?" Came a sleepy voice.

Oh, right. We were supposed to gather some crystals.

"I can't believe I forgot. Thanks for reminding us, Azyl. Let's look around, and-," Said Key.

Wait...what was that?

"Hold on! I think we're being watched!" I interrupted, suddenly feeling a strong gaze on me.

The others quickly became alert, scanning our surroundings.

"Woah, easy there! I don't mean any harm!"

A bald man came out from behind some rocks. Judging by his armored outfit, he was probably an Adventurer.

"And you are?" Inquired Key, her hand on the hilt of her blade.

"My name is Tahn Ragiu. I'm a B-Ranked Adventurer, I was actually heading for the exit," He explained.

That seemed to satisfy the others, as they sighed in relief and let down their guards. This guy was giving me a bad feeling...I could definitely sense some malevolence coming from him.

"Did you come in here by yourself?" I inquired suspiciously.

"Oh, well...actually, I came in here with two of my good friends, fellow Adventurers. We went into the lower levels of the cave, but it was an absolute maze down there, and crawling with Goblins, we were ambushed and they...," He trailed off, his voice cracking.

"Aw man, I'm so sorry to hear that, you must be devas-," Began Rai.

I wasn't buying this.

"Your gear looks in pretty good condition though," I interrupted.

"Uh, Kuro, what are you-?"

In my old world, not all my assassinations were simple jobs, a lot of them involved long-term infiltration and spying, and through those experiences I'd learnt how to read people's state of mind by their body language and the emotions they give off, it made it easy to manipulate them into giving me the information I needed before killing them.

This guys' body language gave away nothing. But his emotions, I couldn't sense a shred of actual remorse. But there was something else. Something darker. I knew exactly what it was, it was something I often sensed in myself, and it was something I had learnt to get a feel for like a sixth sense. Bloodlust.

"If you were really ambushed...how come your gear isn't damaged? For that matter, there's barely a scratch on you," I reasoned, drawing my short-sword.

Every cell in my body was screaming at me to kill this guy before he got the chance to kill me.

"H-hey, your eyes are kinda scary, dude. Calm down, you're just being paranoi-," Said Rai, placing a nervous hand on my shoulder, flinching when I turned to look at him.

The man then sighed and let out a chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.

"You sure are a suspicious one, aren't you? It's not as fun this way, but if you can see through me that well, I definitely can't let you live," He smirked, finally dropping the act and reaching for the ground.

I shot forward, but I was too late. The ground beneath us collapsed, revealing a deep drop into an elaborate, winding maze.

"It's too bad, there's nothing quite like killing people after gaining their trust, that betrayed expression they give me is to die for! But unfortunately it didn't quite work out that way this time. I'll have to settle for enjoying those shocked and enraged expressions instea-!"

I don't think so, asshole.

I pulled out all the explosive balls that I'd bought today and flung them at his feet before I went falling through to lower levels.

If I was going down, I'll drag him down with me!

I heard them explode, before total darkness took over as I crashed down onto the floor of the lower levels.

It wasn't a deep enough fall to kill me, but I'd definitely broken some bones. Hurray for my Healing Factor. I began to get up, but before I could, I heard something falling down, but before I could dodge, it crashed down onto my torso.

...am I going to die again, already?

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