EPIC Side Story: Dragon Ball

After coming to terms with the fact that Vahn could move to the other side of the planet in less time than it took to blink, Bulma wasn't even surprised by Goku's and Sarina's ability to match the pace of motor vehicles. She found it difficult to believe she could ever do the same, but, with no interest in martial arts, she wasn't particularly bothered by the notion. Instead, she turned on the radio so that the duo would having something to listen to as she stared listlessly at the road ahead…

"This is so boring…"

Not expecting anyone to hear her utterance over the sound of two engines, Bulma was surprised when Vahn remarked, "Boring is good. It means you want for nothing and have the leeway to let your mind wander. If you were starving, injured, or at imminent risk, you wouldn't feel bored…"

Scrunching her brows and nose, Bulma half-turned to ask, "Do you always lecture people like an old man? Just how old are you, anyway? Your appearance would leave me to believe you're in your late twenties but your temperament reminds me of an old professor."

As he was an ageless being whose age had technically reset the moment he reincarnated, Vahn simply smiled in response to Bulma's words, asking, "How old do you want me to be…?"

Confused by Vahn's words, Bulma was about to ask him to clarify when Vahn beat her to the punch, his appearance reverting to a point where he could easily pass as a Second or Third Grade student in Senior High. (A/N: Approximately 16-17-years-old.)

Just as an excited flush began to spread through Bulma's cheeks, Vahn did the complete opposite of his transformation. He didn't take it nearly as far as when he first entered the Tower, but, with a full beard and a few silver strands in his hair, he could easily pass as a tenured professor in his late forties.

"Age is a transient concept that holds very little meaning to those who possess true power. Even a relatively normal human being such as yourself could effectively live forever if you used the Dragon Balls. As for my actual age…" 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝒆𝘸𝚎𝙗𝒏oν𝙚𝘭.𝐜𝒐m

Recalling that he had experienced the lifecycle of a cosmos and possessed memories related to the creation of numerous metaversal structures, a thoughtful glimmer flashed across Vahn's eyes as he said, "I'm somewhere between seven hundred and thirty-seven-billion years old…?"

Slamming on the brakes the moment she heard Vahn's words, Bulma nearly flipped her motorcycle as she parroted, "Thirty-seven-billion!? That's older than the entire Universe!"

Circling back and setting his hoverbike down next to Bulma, Vahn maintained a carefree expression as he said, "You're not wrong. In fact, this Universe is a lot younger than your Scientists believe. I'm not sure of its exact age, but it should be around a hundred million years or so? Time can be pretty janky at times…"

Cradling the sides of her head, Bulma appeared to be having a minor existential crisis as she leaned forward and muttered, "Calm down, Bulma. He's probably just teasing you. I mean, what would that even make him…?"

Responding to Bulma's impromptu soliloquy, Vahn answered, "My two most prominent titles are the Sage Dragon Emperor and the God of Infinite Possibilities. I have quite a number of additional titles but they're not all that important at the present moment."

Raising her head, Bulma met Vahn's gaze, her sapphirine eyes quivering as she asked, "So, you're a God? Like, for real…?"

Nodding his head in affirmation, Vahn figured the best way to prove his claim was to perform a feat that simply couldn't be explained away by conventional reasoning. More specifically, he reached his hand up towards the Sun before twisting his hand in a counter-clockwise motion. To Bulma's horror, the Sun simply flickered out before he lowered his hand to reveal a golfball-sized star.

With her eyes nearly popping out of her head, Bulma screamed, "Oh my God! Is that the Sun!? Put it back…!"

Amused by Bulma's exaggerated yet wholly justified reaction, a soft chuckle emanated from Vahn's throat as he tossed the tiny orb skyward. From the perspective of others, it appeared to vanish the moment it left his hand, but, thanks to the Law of Perspective working in his favor, Vahn was able to return it to its proper position. As for the side effects of removing a planetary system's sun? He just 'erased' them from the causal chain.

Though she exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing the Sun in its rightful position, Bulma was far from calm. Her rational mind was telling her to remain skeptical, but, as the radio station was currently blaring the Emergency Broadcast Signal, there was quite a bit of evidence to support Vahn's claim of Godhood. freℯ𝓌e𝚋𝐧𝘰vℯl.𝐜𝚘𝗺

With one question sticking out among the countless that had pervaded her mind, Bulma asked, "Why are you here…?" in an audibly trepidatious tone.

Caressing his nonexistent beard, Vahn assumed a thoughtful pose as he considered the best way to answer Bulma's question. In the end, a distinctly appreciative smile developed across his face as he pointed between her and Goku, answering, "My underlying purpose is to train and spend time with Sarina. As for why we're here, it's because fate and circumstance have brought us together. I would like to go into greater detail, but, for the time being, you'll have to be content with the knowledge that we're your friends. More accurately, we'd like to be."

Covering her eyes and squeezing her temples with her right hand, Bulma took a time out to process Vahn's words. If she forced herself to think objectively, this was actually a positive development. The notion of having a God as a friend was completely outlandish, but, so long as she played her cards right, she should be able to benefit in the long run. In fact, if she took Vahn up on his previous offer, she might even be able to net herself a literal God as a boyfriend…

Excited by the prospect, a moderately unsettling smile developed across Bulma's face as she briefly toyed with the notion of becoming a Goddess. After all, if she and Vahn became a couple, wasn't it only natural that he grant her things like immortality and eternal youth? He could produce objects out of thin air and even pluck the Sun from the sky. Helping her preserve her appearance should be relatively simple.

As if she hadn't been having a mental breakdown moments prior, Bulma spontaneously crossed her arms beneath her breasts, a confident and proud expression on her face as she said, "Of course I'll be your friend! Who am I to refuse a God? I mean, the two of you came all this way just to become friends with me, right? Who could have guessed that my genius-level intellect and peerless beauty could even captivate the Gods~?"

With an expression remarkably similar to Luvia's, the only things Bulma needed to complete the image were golden drill tails and an excessively haughty laugh. As for Goku? He was just staring blankly at the side, his hazel-brown eyes focusing on a butterfly flittering around in the distance.

("This kid is a half-step away from Nirvana…")

Amused by his own thoughts, an amused yet affectionate developed across Vahn's face. Bulma immediately misunderstood this, her own smile growing to the point it was beginning to strain the muscles in her cheeks. She had always been proud of her intellect and looks. Having a literal God recognize them caused her to feel giddy to her core.

Realizing she had misunderstood something the moment he saw the look on Bulma's, the edges of Vahn's smile curled upward as he promptly decided against correcting it. Instead, he proposed, "It's getting pretty close to lunchtime. Since we've already stopped, how about we take a break? I'll cook something tasty and invigorating."

Hearing Vahn mention food, focus immediately returned to Goku's eyes as he jumped into the air and shouted, "Alright! Now you're speaking my language~!" in an excessively eager tone.

Seizing the opportunity Goku's outburst had afforded him, Vahn brought out a much smaller hut than the inn-sized cottage he had used the day prior. From the outside, it resembled a traditional, open-air noodle bar. As for the interior, it resembled a high-quality Japanese restaurant that could easily seat more than a hundred people without crowding issues.

"Holy cow…"

Following Vahn into the interior, Bulma was both surprised and slightly relieved to experience yet another thing that defied common sense. She was now starting to grasp why Sarina had basically told her to just give up and accept the things Vahn did. She was also starting to understand why Vahn had refused so many of her questions the previous night. As a God, there were probably a bunch of rules he had to follow. If there weren't, what could possibly prevent him from just doing whatever he wanted?

"Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable. Bathrooms are on the far left and there's a decently sized arcade located in the back. Food'll be out in a few minutes."

Though he could easily just will food into existence, the only time Vahn abstained from cooking was when Rindo cooked for him. It was still one of his favorite pastimes, so, while Bulma went to freshen up in the bathroom, both he and Sarina entered the kitchen. He had been teaching her how to cook even prior to their descent into the Actualized World. Now that they were going to be spending the next thirty-odd years together, he had every intention of turning her into a God-tier chef…

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Noticing a building appearing out of thin air, an extremely weary-looking figure began a slow and gradual crawl towards it with a fatigued yet hopeful expression on their face. It had been more than a year since they last encountered another person, so, hoping the people inside could render their assistance, the figure forced their tired limbs to carry them towards the remarkably fragrant stall…

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Raising his brows, Vahn briefly sent his intent to the outside before smiling as he said, "Sarina, can you prepare a bucket of iced water with salt? It appears we'll be having another guest for lunch…"

Though she was momentarily surprised by Vahn's words, it only took a moment for Sarina to nod her head and answer, "Sure thing. Where can-"

Before she could finish her question, a bucket appeared on the counter next to Sarina. A wry smile immediately developed across her face, but, instead of asking why Vahn didn't just create a bucket with saltwater, she quickly retrieved a hose before doing as instructed. It was better not to question Vahn's reasoning, as, more often than not, you would find yourself feeling rather silly when he gave you a very simple and straightforward response…

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While Sarina was pondering the mysteries of Vahn's mind, Goku was the first to notice the arrival of their guest. More specifically, a look of confusion marred his face when a large, sundried sea turtle flopped through the entrance. When it saw Goku, a look of relief flashed across the creature's eyes as it asked, "Young man, are there any adults present…?"

Though he was marginally surprised by the fact the predominately brown creature could speak, a friendly smile immediately developed across Goku's face as he replied, "Sure are. My Uncle Vahn is in the kitchen with his lady friend. There is also another girl in the bathroom but I don't think you'd want to talk to her. She's kind of annoying."

Relieved to hear there were some adults present, the inordinately large sea turtle exhaled a sigh before perking up quite a bit as he asked, "Can you get them for me? I'm exhausted after a long journey and could use some rest."

Hopping from the chair he had been seated on, Goku's thumped his chest like a boy scout as he answered, "No problem! Leave it to me~!" before scampering toward the kitchen. In response, a remarkably human smile developed across the turtle's face as he remarked, "What a kind young man…"

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(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Ah, yes, the classic yoink and yeet. Assert that dominance, Vahn xD…','Bulma be like, "This is okay…"','Turtle Soup anyone…?')