FFF-Class Trashero

[32nd Round] What Happened to the Universe?

Fantasy 8. Name tentative.

For a fresh 8th grader, this dimension, imbued with 5% of my divine power, was far too insane to comprehend.

Even the grass here was level 5 or higher.

Aside from seemingly becoming more and more difficult as the Heroes breathed in its premises, its rough terrain and unusually fast recovery rate made it difficult to overcome.

This dragon-infested planet wouldn’t be able to withstand its inhabitants’ recurring onslaughts otherwise.

“Bluuuuuuu!”

“Greeeeee!”

“Siiiiiiiiiil!”

In its skies, dragons were as common as sparrows.

That made the consequences of attacking their kind here quite obvious.

“Let me ask you for directions, Boy A, for ignoring the new Hero.”

“Kheck?!”

“I’m the Righteous A-Class Hero, not a bad person looking to shed blood, so you have nothing to worry about. I just need good restaurant recommendations.”

“L-let go of my neck first— Kgh…!”

There was nothing as good as food when it came to learning about new regions and cultures.

Spicy, salty, bland, sweet, stimulating, sour, greasy…

The cooking norms of a place contained various information about it, including the personality of its inhabitants and the state of its environment.

For example…

“Its texture is so soft!”

The dishes at the restaurant recommended by Boy A were soft.

That was because the dragon race’s cooking skills could be considered poor since they no longer needed to eat upon becoming ancient dragons.

It was still amazing, though.

Dragons enslaved other races to make them cook, but they didn’t do it themselves.

Rather, they were generally treated as ‘guardians’ or ‘disasters’ by Fantasy 8’s natives.

That eliminated the sense of privilege behind keeping other beings leashed and under control.

“If I open a restaurant here, it will be a big hit.”

However, I couldn’t be derailed from my grand plan to have dinner at a fancy restaurant with Morality Teacher.

Of course, that didn’t mean I had given up.

There were definitely a lot of giant flying lizards living here, but there were other races that coexisted with them that could serve as customers, after all.

That aside…

[Hero]

Now that my stomach was full, I looked at Morality Teacher’s location, finding her farther than I thought.

If I wanted to, I could reach her in the blink of an eye, but that would make me look too snobbish. Hence, deciding not to rush, I took it easy and enjoyed my stay here instead.

“Hello, Hero?”

“Ah, so Noebius lives here.”

My dear comrade Noebius wasn’t in a party.

But where the needle had gone, the thread followed.

Divine Dragon Queen Erdanti.

If she were here, of course, he would be around as well.

… No, to be more precise, he was directly under my feet.

The ground was dark, so I didn’t notice right away.

The starting point of 8th-grade Heroes was an alpine city built on my best friend’s back.

He became a whole lot bigger.

“Hello.”

“Hello?”

Noebius and Erdanti’s two daughters greeted me with graceful gestures.

Receiving their welcome politely, I turned to Erdanti.

“You seem to be doing well.”

“I mean… I’m okay now that it’s been so long since that certain incident ended, but I had a really tough time back then.”

“I understand.”

The real Erdanti who was captured and turned into a pet by Fugitive Senior in the distant past.

And the fake who gave birth to two of Noebius’s children and lived happily ever after.

Their two personalities, having lived completely opposite lives, merged into one.

I couldn’t help but smile faintly due to her mental health progress.

“But you’re no longer a student, right? Why are you here? I doubt you’d want to go back to school.”

“Inspection.”

“Ah, I see! As the planet’s owner, you’re checking to see if your tenants are comfortable.”

“Something like that.”

As the Righteous GGG-Class Planet Owner, I asked her if she noticed any inconveniences to the VVIP occupants.

Erdanti pondered for a moment.

“I hope a strong person will come to stimulate Master Noebius’s interest. He’s still amazing when asleep, but I think 5,000 years is already far too long.”

“I see.”

My friend seemed to have left his wife and children on his back and had been slumbering for five millennia now.

I had no intention of forcing him to wake up, though.

If he suddenly rose, this metropolis built on his broad back would collapse.

“Stay strong and wait a little longer. He should awaken soon enough. Anything else?”

“Um… Ah! I want to enroll my children in the Fantasy Institution and gain various experiences.”

“I see.”

Did she just put them after their father?

Perhaps that wasn’t what the First Saintess intended. According to her personality, she simply put others before herself.

But I didn’t think so.

A mother should always take care of her children before her husband.

In any case, I understood what Erdanti desired.

“I can’t give you any special privileges, but you’re always welcome to admit them into the school.”

“Thank you!”

“It’s not something to be grateful for.”

“Why don’t we have a meal while you’re here? I’d like to redeem myself for my most recent defeat against you.”

“I’d like that.”

Dragons couldn’t cook, but those who had engrossed themselves in human society were an exception.

For example:

Lolicoste, the Red Dragon King of the Northern Continent, transformed into a handsome boy to seduce women.

Amsteloli, the Darkness Dragon King of the Western Continent, turned into a beautiful young girl to target kind-hearted men.

Sleloli, the Ice Dragon King of the Southern Continent, made an open-air bath in the middle of the desert.

Lolimania, the Divine Dragon King of the Western Continent, used her believers’ faith for her own purposes.

Lolitron, the Wyvern King of the Sea of Death, trapped and nurtured Heroes on his island.

Crownloli, the Sea Dragon King in endless tentacles.

… Those six were all upper-middle-class Named Dragon Kings and were no different from humans on the surface.

The same went for those at the top.

Light Dragon King Lolicalibur, Celestial Dragon King Lolina Locke, Fire Dragon King Dreadloli.

As their names alone suggested, these dragons used appearances not appropriate for their true age.

And the one that stood above them all…

Noebius, The Supreme Dragon King, stronger than all the dragon kings combined!

My best friend’s reign was absolute.

“The names you call them are very different from what I know, but their hobbies and titles are the same. Regardless, they’ve all moved to a different dimension, one dominated by humans.”

“I’m not surprised.”

There was a reason behind that decision.

The young dragons who hid within human society when Noebius annihilated his people out of anger were now the current dragon kings.

Having spent their youth among my kind, their way of thinking inevitably became similar to that of a human being.

They were a bit crooked, though.

“I couldn’t tell you this before because I was out of my mind, but thank you so much for saving me from that perverted monster.”

“You’re welcome.”

At Erdanti’s home, I was treated so generously that I didn’t feel like leaving.

If I were an ordinary human, I would have abandoned my mission already.

“I was hoping Green Cake would be with you…”

“I’ll tell him to come later.”

“Thank you!”

After filling up my stomach and hearing the residents’ petitions, the GGG-Class Planet Owner set off on a journey to find Morality Teacher!

… Meanwhile, those Loli Kings were fighting a blood-filled war against the Heroes, gaining notoriety in another Fantasy dimension.

*****

Since all creatures of Fantasy were under my jurisdiction, when they died, I allowed them to immediately enter the cycle of reincarnation.

Of course, there were a few exceptions.

Powerful teaching materials that constantly clashed with the Heroes, those 9 Loli Kings could only resurrect after a 100-year break.

It would seem no different from former Director Parmael’s reign, but I didn’t use her terrible method of sealing memories and recycling them.

The choice was always autonomous.

I intended to leave the entire curriculum to the students’ individual judgment.

“Drug Hero!”

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Earth, fire, wind, water, soul.

The Addicted Spirit who appeared with the Five Spirit Kings sat down on my head.

“It’s been a while.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve come? I’m disappointed!”

“Ah…”

“You made me sad!”

“…”

“Hehehe! It’s been a while, Drug Hero. My ugly niece took cute Sidael with her, so I had no choice but to go down to Fantasy to take care of my children for a while. Recently, though, I was suddenly engulfed by a dimensional spit. Hehehe.”

“Hey. Should you really be taking that as lightly as playing next door?”

She was a real monster…

We talked as if we just saw each other yesterday, but this was our first meeting in tens of thousands of years.

That was still a long time for me, even though I was already free from the limitations of my lifespan. On the contrary, she spoke as if she couldn’t care less about it.

The Spirit Kings were no different!

Rub rub.

Leaving the greetings to the Addicted Spirit, they crawled straight into my armpits and groin.

“Aren’t you five sorry for the Heroes who summon spirits with hopes and dreams?”

Though the Fantasy dimension was divided into eight, there could only be one Addicted Spirit and Spirit King per attribute across all dimensions.

In other words, if the Spirit Kings clung to me and refused to leave, no matter how high other Heroes’ spirit affinity was, they couldn’t be summoned.

Even so, they still chose to neglect their work. Did these beings have no conscience at all?

Rub rub.

It seemed like it didn’t matter to them.

As free spirits, the concepts of work and salary didn’t apply to them at all, so there was nothing I could do about it.

“… Do whatever you want.”

“But where are you going, cowardly Drug Hero?”

“Morality— Uh, I’m inspecting this world.”

“You should refrain from having an affair, considering you have three ugly, jealous wives. You’ll regret this!”

“I’m not having an affair! Don’t spread false rumors!”

I was just trying to repair our disrupted friendship.

Even her premise was wrong.

According to the order of our meeting, Morality Teacher took precedence over Ssosia.

“What about the Sword Princess?”

“The first round is excluded.”

As the Addicted Spirit pointed out, we already established our relationship earlier on, but at that time, we were enemies, not lovers.

“Have you found your younger brother yet?”

“How do you know everything even though you haven’t been involved in anything at all lately?”

“Hehehe! Don’t forget that I am the First Spirit! The amount of information my cute kids deliver to me is huge!”

“That’s true…”

I didn’t know how she restored her and her kind’s mental structure after the merge, but she undoubtedly had the largest information network in Fantasy.

“Ask away!” She shouted boldly, seemingly reading my thoughts.

I wanted to ask what Morality Teacher was thinking of right now, but it was unreasonable for me to expect even the Soul Spirit King to know that.

‘What should I ask… Ah!’

“Addicted Spirit, how is the school environment in your opinion?”

“Chaos!”

“That’s vague.”

“But true! The Heroes keep fighting each other to determine who’s better. Among them, Zeus and Shiva are the worst. They battle each other every time they meet, making me so inclined to call them the Spirits of Destruction.”

“Zeus and Shiva… They sound familiar.”

Though uninterested in human names, Addicted Spirit still remembered them.

That made me a little curious about what they were capable of.

“That aside, is your brother here, Drug Hero?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s strange. I’ve seen photos of him a few times through the Mollanphone, but I’ve never come across him.”

“No way.”

Upon hearing her weird remarks, I immediately brought up the vision monitoring my little sibling, who should be wandering around Fantasy 8 like a missing child.

… Huh?

He was talking to a lady with a beautiful body and mind.

‘When riding a Medusa, the way you pull her reins is important. Contrary to her appearance, she’s very sensitive. So in this way…’

‘I think she’s just forcing herself to follow your instructions out of fear…’

‘What? Haha! That’s not true. Ah! If you’re going to cross the desert, how about going with me? I’ll show you how to properly ride Medusas.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘The Southern Continent. I’m going to ask for forgiveness from an old friend who lives in its southern tip.’

‘You must have done him horribly wrong.’

‘Yes. I stole something precious from him.’

‘Hey… Stay strong. My destination’s a bit different, so I’ll have to go my own way from here. It was a pleasure talking to you.’

‘Where are you going, pretty lady? I’m not in a hurry anyway, so let me give you a ride to your destination.”

‘You don’t really have to…’

‘Haha! There’s no need to refuse— Kuek?!’

The Righteous GGG-Class Hero’s adventure ended here!

The time had come to bring justice to this sinister demon.

“You have good taste, brother, but what do you think you’re doing…”

“… What?”

“Oh?”

Upon being hit in the back, which caused him to be flung away, his expression became soaked in confusion.

But I was no different.

His lumbar vertebrae felt familiar…

No, I already had memories of his spine.

“Father-in-law…?”

Was I hallucinating?