Chapter 17: Drug-Addicted Florida Man Invents New Meds
Chapter 17 – Drug-Addicted Florida Man Invents New Meds
Leo popped the water grain pill into his mouth and chewed it like candy. The hard surface of the pill melted upon touching Leo's tongue, and the rich flavor of mint and pine nut hit his nose.
Leo exhaled a fume of cold air and shivered in ecstasy. He just had a mental orgasm.
DING
<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>
"WOO!"
Although there was no report about Qi or related internal energy, Leo sensed the inflating cold air inside him. The sensation ran from his stomach to his blood vessels, then it flowed all over his body, sending a shiver down his spine.
As Leo didn't want to waste his lifespan buying more containers from the shopping system, he picked another pill and put it in his mouth.
This time, he ate the fire pill.
When the burning hot pill touched his tongue, Leo smelled the nostalgic chili scent. The spicy taste and the heat instantly canceled the chilling air. After Leo chewed the pill, sticky juice came out and flooded his mouth with pine nuts and a sweet potato aroma.
It was delicious!
Leo swallowed everything, ignoring the conflicted temperature. He reached out to grab another fire grain pill. However, a nauseous sensation kicked in. His stomach rejected additional food, and he was on the verge of vomiting.
He was full.
"Holy cow, moo. I guess it is "Grain Pill" for a reason."
Leo forgot how long his stomach was this bloated. He rubbed his round belly in astonishment and frustration. At this rate, he wouldn't be able to eat anything to recover his lifespan.
Still, Leo had many things to do to kill time as many projects piled up. He sorted the pills into different containers and inserted a new batch of ingredients into the workshop cauldron. Then, he let it auto-refine the meds.
.
Half a day later, Leo sat on the floor of his store, gazing at the dozen stainless steel pots that contained grain pills. 12 batches of pill-refining gave birth to 360 grain pills of six elements and a few unique elixir pills.
Leo was annoyed. A thousand years of lifespan was right before his eyes, but he couldn't eat any pill because of his bloated stomach.
'I can't eat any food now. How am I going to get my lifespan back?'
Leo glanced at the display windows of his store. He pondered for 10 minutes, questioning himself how he could swindle lifespan from other local cultivators.
There was no other choice. He had to officially open the general store and invite more customers.
Putting his idea to work, Leo spent more of his lifespan, purchasing transparent Tupperware from the system shop. He transferred the pills into the containers and lined them behind the display glass windows as premium goods. Then, he turned his attention to the corianders, potatoes, cabbages, and bananas.
As potatoes and mutated corianders could be used in alchemy, Leo decided not to sell them for the time being. He transferred them to the workshop building.
The interior of the alchemy workshop was the same as any blank cabin. Leo got plenty of room to store ingredients and his merchandise, so he carried the baskets of corianders and potatoes there, using the structure as his storehouse.
After sorting out the non-merchandise, Leo turned his attention to the cabbages and bananas. He hesitated at first, but he picked one of each and touched them with his naked finger.
The cabbages turned purple as usual. However, the bananas instantly turned yellow as if they were old enough to be consumed.
Curious, Leo tried to peel the banana even though he couldn't eat it at the moment. But as soon as he tried to peel it, he sensed something odd.
The skin was rough and harder than usual. Leo exerted the same force as when he uprooted the pine tree. After a portion of the banana was peeled, gold light shone from inside the fruit.
It was a gold banana. Moreover, its strong banana scent contained a tinge of earthy smell similar to brown dirt or dried land.
Leo narrowed his eyes. He suddenly recalled something.
"Come to think of it, after I started refining grain pills, I haven't researched any of the mutated fruits or veggies here. I also haven't tried the black grasses yet."
He smacked his forehead. He picked a sample of each mutated ingredient and waited for the cauldron to finish refining the next batch of pills.
Several minutes later, the auto-refining workshop completed the task. Leo collected the pills and switched to the research mode right away. Then, he put an entire stalk of black grasses into the pot.
DING
The result came out.
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[Immortal Grass]
Immortal grasses are commonly populated in an area with dense seven elemental Qi. It is one of the key ingredients to making longevity pills and the infamous pill of youth.
[Alchemy Recipe – Longevity Pill]
One Blade of Immortal Grass
One Liter of Pinnacle-Grade Holy Water
One Black Heart of 9th-Grade Demon Beast
*Optional* One of any Fire Element Catalyst
*Optional* One of any Water Element Catalyst
*Optional* One of any Earth Element Catalyst
*Optional* One of any Metal Element Catalyst
*Optional* One of any Wood Element Catalyst
Any Elemental Essence
[Alchemy Recipe – Pill of Youth]
One Hundred Blades of Immortal Grass
One Drop of Virgin Sage's Blood
One Drop of Unicorn's Tear
One Liter of Pinnacle-Grade Holy Water
Five Elemental Essence
.
Leo blankly stared at the detail. He was astonished by the names of the required ingredients in the recipes. Sometimes, Leo wondered who came up with the recipes and the combinations.
'Forget longevity pills. This thing sounds too complex and difficult. I'll stick with the iron grain pill for now. Oh, right. What about the cabbage and banana?'
Leo put the purple cabbage into the pot next. Then, he received another weird result.
.
[Cabbage of Extreme Yin]
This poisonous cabbage can only be found in a demonic realm as it is one of demon's staple food. No cultivator should consume this as it is full of Poison Qi and yin miasma. However, it can be used in alchemy to make potent poison.
[Alchemy Recipe – Demonic Poison Potion]
One Cabbage of Extreme Yin
One Liter of Yin Fluid
One of any Poison Element Catalyst
Poison Qi
.
Leo raised his eyebrows. The last time he ate it, it was delicious. He wondered how it was poisonous.
"You? Poisonous? You must be joking. Oh, well. I'll add the poison label to the merchandise. Next."
It was the gold banana's turn, and Leo wasn't disappointed this time.
.
[Golden Sand Banana]
This fruit is exclusive to the Golden Sand Mystic Realm as no realm can produce Earth Element Essence as thick as this place. Golden Sand Bananas are known to be the top-tier Earth Element Catalyst in alchemy, and every alchemist expert will kill to get their hands on one of them.
[Traits]
Increases any Earth-Type Cultivation Pill's success rate by 100%. Increases the quality by three major tiers. Increase the number of final products by 50%.
.
"Oh, boy. This will sell!"
Leo was overjoyed. He planned to set a high price for the mutated bananas. Still, he needed to keep some of them to himself as he might need them in the future.
Putting his new project to work, Leo started converting cabbages and bananas.
When the sun sank to the west horizon, Leo finished transporting a basket worth of golden sand bananas and purple cabbages to the alchemy workshop's storehouse. As for the rest, Leo arranged them in supermarket refrigerators and wrote a price tag on them.
Leo looked forward to Wu Buyi's return. He couldn't wait to spread the information about his shop.
"Please hurry and come back. I need more lifespan…"
While Leo prayed, the chomper plant returned home. It scratched the front door with its branches.
"MEOW!"
Like a hungry cat returning home after a day of adventure, it yowled. Its roots slipped into the store and coiled its roots around his leg. As for Cat's head, it got stuck outside.
"MEOW!"
"Ah, dammit! I know, I know. You're hungry, right?"
In frustration, Leo picked up a few regular cabbages and threw them toward Cat. The latter opened its mouth and caught everything.
Unfortunately, after swallowing them, Cat wanted more. It extended its roots and grabbed the goodies in the display fridges and the freezer chest. It grabbed both regular and poisonous cabbages.
"Hey! That's inedible!"
Before Leo could react, Cat picked up one of the poison cabbages. It put the purple cabbages in its mouth and ate them.
It was too late for Leo to do anything. He deeply sighed and facepalmed, unable to come up with a word to scold this reckless plant.
"I can't save you this time, kitty."
"Meow?"
Betraying Leo's expectation, the chomper tilted its head in confusion. It picked its sharp teeth with a thorn on its branch and returned to its home at the side of the store, satisfied.
"…"
Leo watched how Cat swaggered away after the quick meal. He followed it and noticed that it fell asleep and snored.
He deeply frowned. Then, he glanced at its black leaves and vines.
Thinking for a moment, Leo cut a piece of its root and brought it to the alchemy cauldron. He put it in and pressed the research button.
DING
The result came out, which explained everything about why Cat managed to resist the poisonous cabbages.