Gamers!

Translator: your_pingas

Sitting on the campus bench, I opened a bottle of sweet wine during this lethargic winter.

When did I buy a hot drink without caffeine at this university? The end of January. Even though the month is at its end, this is my first sweet wine of the year. I guess this sounds like something I, Ayumu Kiriya, would do.

The sweetness of the wine really makes me disconnect from things like study or work. I couldn’t help but laugh after thinking about that.

“I made the right choice today.”

Even though I usually prefer keeping my mind sane, I don’t hate the energy I get from small sips of wine.

“…………”

I especially need the energy from a case I got this day. My mind just runs dry whenever I think about that.

“…………”

I opened the messaging app on my phone. …It showed a message from my friend a few days ago. I can’t help but read it again and again.

< Keita Amano: I won’t be visiting Kiriya-san’s apartment for a while. >

“…………”

Of course, he apologized and explained before and after sending the message. He even wrapped his sentence with all sorts of jokes. However, no matter how much he sugar-coated it, the core part won’t change.

-He wants to keep his distance from me.

“…Phew.”

I sighed towards the orange sky. Keita kept explaining that it was completely because of his own issues. So, it seems that he’s not lying. Even so, I’m not naive enough to take every word he said at face value.

“…Did I mess up?”

I held the bottle of sweet wine tightly as if I’m trying to hold on to something.

…Honestly, there are more reasons than I can think of. It annoys me.

Aguri-chan, Tasuku Uehara, Otobuki High School’s Game Club, and Keita’s ex-girlfriend- Karen Tendou.

I didn’t realize it until now. …While everything that happened between us seemed like they were accidents, all of these are proof that I’ve been intervening in his high school life too much.

-Not to mention my gender and stance.

“I, Ayumu Kiriya, …am nothing but an obstacle in his youthful life.”

I wanted my live streams to be more popular. So, I lied to the boy to make him play with me. If I wish to continue, I have to keep my gender a secret. …If the “he” turns into a “she”, none of this can probably go on.

On the other hand, Keita doesn’t really have anything to gain from this. He’s a really nice person. That’s why he always says, “I’m really glad that I can play games with others.” Come to think of it, if he’s willing to play with a low-life university girl, perhaps he really does love playing games. I can’t get that off my head, especially during these couple of days.

So, the more I think about it, the more natural this conclusion becomes.

I’m just awaiting the ending that should’ve come in the first place. After that, there’s no room for regret.

So, I don’t need to feel more depressed than I have to be. Also, since there’s nothing I can do on my side, it’s all over. He’s the one that has the right to end all of this.

I can do nothing but accept his farewell. You can call it his “growth” or “graduation” in a sense. Then, the only thing left is to leave with a smile.

Actually, as an older person, I’m confident that I can do pretty well.

After quickly accepting his decision, I can make a gentle lie about me being busy with university and part-time jobs. Then, finally, I’ll mince my words with some gags.

So, already, I said everything I had to. I lamented everything I had to. I didn’t miss anything. We’re just friends with a slight distance. We’re just heading to each of our paths. We’re just living our lives happily. The story between Keita Amano and me came to a slight and stopping end.

…I’m fine. Everything’s okay. There’s no problem. I’m not regretting it.

…That’s supposed to be the case.

“-Why are you making that face, Ayumu-san?”

“…Ao?”

After I looked up, a university ojou-sama appeared out of nowhere. She lowered her head and looked at me while I remained on my bench.

I bitterly smiled at her before speaking up.

“Ao, in your eyes, how do you feel about me now?”

“How do I feel…? Well.”

Ao pondered about it. She kept her ojou-sama impression.

“Well, you look like a university student whose family just got kidnapped, and the kidnappers forced you to drink sweet wine, even though you’re allergic to it.”

“What kind of situation is that?”

“I said that because your face looks pretty bad.”

Ao sat next to me after saying that. Our shoulders slightly touched, and I can feel her body temperature. For some reason, this warmed me up even more than the sweet wine did.

She put on her white knitted yarn hat, which just makes her look even more adorable. Then, both of us stared at the cloudy sky.

“What happened to Amano-kun after that?”

“Oh, we didn’t do anything at all.”

“I see. …So, Ayumu-san, did you regret meeting him?”

“…No, I think this is the best scenario for us. Honestly, our live streaming days are reaching their limit. So I think it’s time to end this.”

“You’re right. In my eyes, I think that’s the case.”

“Right?”

“Yeah.”

Both of us stared at the sky silently. Then, I can’t help but glance at Ao’s face. After that…

(..What’s wrong? Your face looks like you’re just as bored and sad as I do.)

She’s a weird girl, even though she’s staunchly against bringing Keita Amano into my apartment.

…No.

…She’s a very nice girl.

“…Alright!”

Suddenly, I stood up from the bench. Ao tilted her head.

“Ayumu-san?”

“I feel much better whenever I can see your face, Ao.”

“W-Why did you suddenly say that…?”

Ao’s eyes rolled around as her face flared up. I put my hands on her shoulders to prevent her from running away. Then, I looked at her in the eyes determinedly.

“…There’s something I want to say to you, Ao.”

“H-Huh? T-This suddenly…!? No. we can’t do this. We’re both-“

“Ao, …can you be my partner-“

“Ayumu-san...”

Ao looked at my eyes intoxicatedly. Facing a girl like her, I finally made my once-in-a-lifetime confession!

“Can you be my live streaming partner-“

“No.”

Of course, she rejected me seconds before I can finish my sentence.

*

In the end, I played games alone for a while.

It’s okay. I’ve always been a solo streamer. But, when I was recording with Keita, there was still a traditional single-stream series. I can just continue working on that. So, my live streaming career isn’t over just because Keita and I disbanded. …I think.

“…But why am I so unmotivated right now? I shouldn’t be.”

After I submitted another solo stream, I leaned back to the chair and looked at the ceiling.

“…Hmm?”

I noticed that there’s a shadow of a dead bug inside the lights on the ceiling. But, it would be too troublesome to climb the ladder and get it out.

After that, I leaned on my side. After pretending that there’s no problem, I slowly closed my eyes. The kotatsu is warming up the lower half of my body. I can’t help but feel sleepier and sleepier. …Let’s take a small nap-

“-No, no, no, no!”

Suddenly, my upper body was awoken by the imminent feeling that I’m about to fall.

Then, using that burst of energy, I took out the ladder from the storage. Then, I climbed up and cleaned the ceiling light before reinstalling it. Finally, I took a deep breath.

“No, get a hold of yourself, Ayumu Kiriya! Rise from where you fell! You should know that!”

I slapped my cheeks while standing on the table to cheer myself up. Creative work on the internet is not just limited to uploading videos. However, the most important thing for all of them is for the creator to maintain their motivation. If losing your career is the red light, being less productive is already yellow.

It’s easy for a streamer to start doing something else after getting famous and praised. Then, their videos’ quality and quantity begin to drop. Finally, they just disappear without even saying their last goodbyes. I’ve seen this kind of streamers from time to time.

That’s why I, as a mid-tier streamer, always try my hardest to upload videos consistently at a reasonable pace. It’s just that…after I joined up with Keita, the center of attraction slowly shifted to him instead.

This is why I feel this sense of “defeat” after he disappeared.

I understood the reason, but what should I do from now on?

Well, should I go back and work hard on my solo stream series? No, …it’s already over once it involves working hard. Doesn’t this prove that my motivation is wavering? Live streaming isn’t a real job to me. It’s just my hobby. …Something’s value will drastically drop if you can’t enjoy it. In the end, I’m guaranteed to fail sooner or later.

Well, how should I relieve this sense of defeat temporarily…? …All I know is that at the minimum, …I want to play with Keita one more time.

Just as I’m standing on the ladder and thinking dazedly- 𝒇𝑟e𝙚𝑤𝙚𝐛𝗻𝐨ν𝚎𝘭.c𝐨m

…I noticed an old console in the corner of my room?

(That’s, …oh, right, I used that to record < Battle Live > with Keita.)

At this point, I can feel that a faint sparkle of hope suddenly ignited inside my memories.

I got off the ladder and inspected the console. Memories are flooding in.

(Of course, I remembered what happened. …Right, Ao came and interrupted me when I just started recording. In the end, I completely forgot that the deadline for our class report was on the second day. So, the stream was already over.)

I lifted the console up. It’s covered in dust.

(Indeed, I thought it would be quite embarrassing if I let him go home 10 minutes after he showed up in my room. So, I asked him if he’s okay with playing alone. He was fine in it and played in my house for a while. In the meantime, I was doing my report in Ao’s apartment next door. I also asked him to message me if he wanted to go home…)

Right, that was basically a non-existent event in his memories. Although I almost forgot about it until now, I’m sure that it happened.

Of course, if that’s everything, this event won’t have a conclusion.

However, …if “this” is the game he played alone, the story is different.

I ejected the cassette inside the console and checked its name. Then, I can’t help but smile. After all, that game is-

(You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re making me play < Makeo Kart 128 >?)

-It’s because he was playing a racing game with a recording called a “ghost”.

*

“Yes, that’s why today’s stream will be a special one! For the first time, I’ll be racing against Jiraiya’s ghost. Hope you enjoy it.”

I grabbed the mic on the kotatsu and held my controller before pressing it. A title screen with adorable characters appeared on the TV.

After pressing the start button and selecting the mode, I briefly explained the game mechanics.

“In < Makeo Kart >’s timed-attack mode, the game records the fastest time you achieved and turns into a ghost. Then, you can race with it starting from the next match. Of course, just like the name, the ghost can’t be attacked. No shooting or anything. However, the screen does look like I’m fighting against it. So, this time, I’ll be racing with Jiraiya’s data. Hope you enjoy.”

After I explained calmly, I started choosing my kart. Through some consideration, I decided to use the standard build for timed mode. It emphasizes the highest speed, drift, and engine. If this is the real deal, I would’ve fine-tuned my kart to maximize performance. However, my goal isn’t reaching the world record here. By considering the rhythm and readability of the stream, I decided doing something like will be too weird.

I added some more explanations during the course selection screen.

“Initially, the ghost is the fastest recording in each course. However, in < Makeo Kart 128 >, you get to use the recording in the latest save. So, that’s what I’ll be doing now.”

When Keita was playing < Makeo Kart >, I set all of this up for him before going to Ao’s room. At that time, I wasn’t doing it on purpose. But, right now, come to think of it, I did pretty well, right. Also…

“Also, Jiraiya said that he played all of the courses once. So, all of the ghosts here belong to him. Well, let’s begin.”

I said that as I selected the first standard course.

The number 3 that appeared on the screen signaled the countdown. I pressed the accelerate button as I prepared to dash forward during the 2nd second. It should be okay for timed mode, right? It's impossible to mess up here. …Yes. …It’s no problem…

Suddenly, a mysteriously bad feeling flashed behind my head. At the same time, the countdown ended, and the race started!

So, as my character dashed out-

“I CALLED IT!”

He made a huge mistake the moment we started. His ghost character is spinning on the screen.

“ It’s not a ‘ghost’ video anymore if you are left behind there! Jiraiya’s character isn’t even appearing on my screen!”

Indeed, Keita Amano, even if you’re not here, you have to ruin my video plans from the start!

I can already tell that the comments will be filled with “lmao” if I do this. However, I still can’t help but…slow down in this timed mode and wait for his ghost.

“Why did you leave your data down, …Jiraiya?”

He said that only the latest data will be saved. However, in other words, this means that he can’t correct his terrible start if he wants to maintain the ghost. Honestly, I don’t feel like taking this seriously at all.

As for him, his ghost data quickly passed over me, and it’s about to disappear from sight. So, I stepped on the gas and accelerated to chase after him.

“…N-No, be more serious, Ayumu! Weak! Jiraiya’s weak!”

I’ve noticed this since the start. Jiraiya’s surprisingly bad at this. N-No, it’s not like he doesn’t understand the basic controls. Instead-

“Why are you attacking right before turning a corner!? The character’s too heavy to even pull it off! …Tck, also, why are you using dash items!? You’ll crash straight into the wall!”

I completely slowed down and began observing his ghost.

I mean, …I’m really pissed right now. Unlike an inexperienced player making adorable mistakes, he’ll try his best to win, but it just doesn’t work for him. Hell, it even makes things worse.

“I want to know, …even though this ghost only exists in the game, for some reason, I feel like I can see another person in the room saying, ‘Oh, I see how this works.’”

After that, I observed his ghost from behind. Since this is the first course, the turns are slow, elegant, and simple. …However, he still managed to miss all of his drifts and shortcuts.

The match ended. Then, I sighed and mumbled after returning to the selection screen.

“Yep, …change of plan. Instead of racing with his ghost, I should just observe his recording. Let’s move on to the next track.”

With that, I selected the second course. It’s also a normal and simple track.

However, …we’re talking about Jiraiya here. He’ll definitely mess up his start and turns.

I’m not even trying to get a start boost here. Instead, I’m not even stepping on the gas. I’ll chase after him.

Then, the second race started-

“-Eh?”

-Jiraiya got his start boost like a pro.

I was shocked for a moment. However, I immediately got a hold of myself and chased after him.

But…

“N-No, no, no, no, no! Why is he only good at turning this time!?”

Jiraiya’s aggressiveness is going really well for him. My shaking hands are leaving my character behind the dust. …In other words-

“The ghost disappeared from the screen!?”

I quickly paid my attention back to the match. However, it’s not that easy to calm down in such a short time. On the other hand, Keita seemed to do pretty well from start to finish. In the end-

(…I didn’t manage to catch up on him before the race ended.)

I passed through the finish line alone. …What is this…?

“Tck…! How many times do you have to mess up my plan, you little…!?”

I’m starting to suspect whether this guy’s actually controlling the ghost in real life just to mess with me. You really know my weaknesses, Keita Amano.

I was a bit dizzy when I returned to the course selection screen.

“Next one, …the next one! …Well, I’ll go all out from the start! I bet Jiraiya got used to the controls already. From now on, he’ll be a good opponent. Believe it or not! Let’s go!”

I entered the third race with this mindset. Naturally, the result is-

“You’re a noob that can’t start properly, after all!”

-Keita’s ghost spun around as I dashed out with my full power. He disappeared from the screen.

I sighed, slowed down, and switched to “observing” mode-

“Yep, you’re really fast except for the start!”

Keita aced the turns and shortcuts again. I’m really pissed, and our distance is slowly growing. …In the end, the result of the third race is the same as the second one. I wasn’t even close to his ghost.

It returned to the course selection screen again. I went silent in the stream for a long while before start speaking up again.

“Alright, this time, I’m observing him at serious and full-speed!”

I don’t even know if someone has or ever will do that in < Makeo Kart >.

I continued as I’m choosing the 4th course.

“As for right now, I’ll start normally. So, no matter how his start goes, I’ll continue once he dashes out. If his ghost doesn’t follow, I’ll slow down a bit. …But, I’ll keep my awareness and wait seriously. Let’s go with that.”

With this method, I’ll never be fatally far enough from him. This is the plan.

Anyway, the race started.

“Fa-“

I went with the start boost, as I’ve said earlier. As for Keita’s ghost, he-

“…Failed, right?”

I slowed down and waited for him after seeing that his ghost isn’t following me. However, I didn’t let my guard down. Take it slowly. Don’t lose your attention right now so that you can accelerate whenever you want.

…………

However-

“…Eh? What?”

It’s been almost 30 seconds, but the ghost still isn’t catching up. …It’s weird, no matter how you think about it. He should’ve caught up even if he made all of the mistakes possible.

Just as I’m thinking about that-

“WHA-“

Something that should be impossible to see in < Makeo Kart > - a car charging into you from the opposite direction- shot into my eyes.

“WHAT!?”

His recording is on a collision course with my character. Just as we’re about to hit each other, I passed through his- ghost.

“…………”

Although I’m shocked, I managed to hold my controller and sped up my character. Then, I think 20 seconds have passed after that?

I saw another car charging straight at me- no, Keita’s ghost is going backward!

“This is too much!”

No, I may drive backward or mess around on the mirror course. However, I never thought I can see a half-transparent ghost charging into me with full throttle from the opposite direction in timed mode. This has to be a real ghost, right? It can be an urban legend in the real world – the reversing ghost.

Keita’s ghost passed behind me with extreme speed. I can’t help but imagine a smug face on his character. …Wow, it looks like my mind’s finally going crazy.

“NO, NO, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ARE YOU INSANE!?”

However, since this ghost is recorded, it looks like he’ll at least reach the goal.

I watched him as I’m driving. He…returned to normal after going backward for like 3 laps. …The ghost completed one lap usually. I don’t even know what this timed mode is anymore.

After all of this, perhaps he already lost his motivation? I started the 5th face as I thought about that. Once again, …he trashed me with his full-power-perfect run.

After that, we kept on the “unexpected” races.

During one course, I used a jump platform since I wanted another shortcut. However, I got stuck in the texture’s gap since the shortcut is a bug. A reset would fix everything, but I’m on my way to the finish line. In the end, miraculously, I managed to get my character out and continued racing repeatedly and happily.

On another course, the ground suddenly turned into pools of mud. Even though I’m trying my best to race alone, you must go back to the normal roads at the end of the lap. The character’s face looked pretty depressed to me before resuming normal driving. [This part confused me a lot. I’m not sure if it’s 100% correct.]

Anyway, …I tried to play alone after that, but I couldn’t.

So, here comes the final level.

“…Oh?”

He- I can’t believe he’s racing properly in this mode for once. I stood up abruptly and yelled. In the end, …both of us were trying our hardest to win the last race. We made a video of it. …Well, that was a nice match.

After I made the finishing line, I put back the console and started editing the clip.

I leaned back on the office chair. The computer screen showed the clip recorded just a moment ago. I checked the clip by randomly clicking on the sequence on the editing software.

Then, just as I rewatched everything Keita’s ghost did, …I noticed that I’m smiling. I mumbled to myself.

“Sheesh, …you can still play games super excitedly even when you’re alone.”

Of course, his gaming style is pretty casual and silly. You can even say that it’s rude. It depends on your opinion.

However, he seems to be having fun. I think I can see him smiling from the ghost.

“…………”

I stopped using the mouse and looked back at myself.

Although I play games to make live streams, recently, I’m starting to keep myself clean from the troubles.

“Since when did I start associating live streams with games?”

I don’t understand. Sure, while I just didn’t suddenly draw an equal sign between live streams and gaming, …I guess it happened little by little. That’s why my mindset on gaming changed at a fatal point unconsciously.

…………

Initially- I just loved playing games.

This is like Keita Amano.

“So, how should I reignite my motivation to stream again?”

The first word that comes into my mind whenever I’m feeling frustrated is…gaming.

It’s because I was just a game-loving university girl before becoming a live streamer.

…That’s all.

Don’t forget. I, Ayumu Kiriya, love playing games. I’m not playing because I want to live stream. I live stream because I’m enjoying the game.

How can I forget something this simple?

Shouldn’t my motivation to live stream be overflowing right now? This sense of emptiness and loss has long troubled me.

Well, the solution is simple.

Let’s enjoy gaming.

…Just like Keita.

“…Alright!”

I don’t know why. My depression from earlier disappeared, and I smiled naturally.

I quickly prepared everything after I stood up. Well, let’s buy a new game in the city at night without thinking about the live streams for once.

*

“Sigh, but I still want a new live streaming partner…”

I put my hands inside the pockets of my sweater as I locked onto the nearest game store with my body shaking.

The snow in January still seems to be going strong despite the New Year’s atmosphere. You can still see straw ropes hanging outside of the stores’ closed shutters.

“They didn’t tidy up their drifting feelings, just like me.”

Recording with Keita, …Jiraiya produces some ideal content for me. “The creator’s funny.” “That’s popular.” The videos are really good. However, that’s why I can see the colors on my solo live streams fading away.

I guess my streams are like anime seasons. A lot of animes split into two release the first part in spring, right? Some of them can be good. However, the summer season is where many spectacular animes explode into existence like stars in the sky. I enjoyed them so much that when the second part of the spring anime comes in autumn, it just doesn’t seem exciting to me anymore.

But, I do watch autumn animes, and, to be honest, some of them are pretty good. I look forward to them every week.

In the end, time will solve everything. I know that.

I’ve always loved live streaming alone because there isn’t anything to worry about.

However, if you say…

“Of course, the fastest way to recover would be to secure a temporary energy source…”

It could be OVAs, more comedies, or an extra spinoff story in anime terms.

To put it simply, this can be called a restless period. The energy provided by god-tier animes every week stopped, and I began to show addiction symptoms. OVAs can temporarily cure that addiction.

With that, your mind can calm down, and you can move on successfully. [The wording on this page is extremely confusing. She’s making a comparison between her live streaming career and anime seasons, but the word choice is pretty weird. Apologies if you feel like the sentences are disconnected.]

However, for me, this time, …it doesn’t work. This is so much more frustrating. It’s like the show was suddenly over without even noticing that it’s the last episode. I can’t handle the ending this fast.

“I want a bit more, at least…”

It’s just like the ghost in this live stream. Even if I have quit my addiction toward Keita Amano, I just want a few more clips. You have to slowly reduce the use of cigarettes when you want to quit smoking, right? Even though I’m about to…make him, …no, …I need a partner in replacement for now, at least.

“Ao, …she looks like she definitely won’t become my partner.”

She’s a determined girl. It’s useless to invite her again once she said no. At this point, perhaps I should ask other acquaintances instead. But…

“…………”

I thought about this as I walked. However, …no acquaintance’s face came into my mind even when I was already in front of the game store.

I know this isn’t good, but I always use Keita Amano as a comparison.

Well, Keita Amano has some of the best qualities to become a good live streamer.

“I know that’s not true…”

My shoulders dropped as I looked at the entrance of the game store. Wait, since when…?

(Hiya, that’s rare. Someone’s actually playing here.) 𝒇𝑟𝐞𝐞w𝐞𝑏𝙣𝑜vℯl.co𝑚

I can see a high school girl trying out the demo that no one would play usually.

It’s a famous scroll action game in the past, but no one will even try that now.

I stopped at a distance. Honestly, I can’t help but watch this unusual demo unfold.

(Hmm, I think this happened before. …Oh, right, that’s where I first met Keita.)

This is nostalgic. Right, I was just trying to look for an easy live streaming partner. I said something along the lines of, “Someone that loves playing games but not good at it. Their reaction should be good too.” However, just as I’m thinking that there won’t be someone like this-

At this time, that high school girl is busy fighting a simple-minded and weak enemy. Her character took damage. Then, perhaps she’s getting nervous, she pressed the wrong button and fell into the bottomless pit. The girl just lost a life meaninglessly. She’s so bad that I want to share with her a game walkthrough.

…………

…Hmm, where was I? Oh, right, the ideal partner.

“However, in a sense, is this the tougher obstacle? After all, Keita and I are already the perfect partners in my heart. Even when the conditions are satisfied, I’m still looking for some parts of Keita…

So, that high school girl in front of me is still making the same mistake at the same level. This isn’t difficult, but she keeps messing up when facing an irrelevant pawn and falling into the pit. After that-

< Game Over >

She lost all her lives. It’s not just at the beginning. She died at the first level, and the game ended.

I was a bit shocked. Uh, if you ask me, this girl already knew all of the basic controls this game requires. Yet, surprisingly, she wasn’t dying on purpose. Instead, she just came to the game-over conclusion naturally.

Also, the most intriguing part is…

(Hey, …isn’t this…exactly like-)

-Keita Amano, right?

I freaked out as I got close to her.

(With that, …with that, with her reaction, …it’s already…)

I don’t care about buying games anymore.

Will she laugh, get mad, or feel depressed?

I gulped as I observed…the girl.

She put the controller on the console. Then, she grabbed her bag on the floor. Finally, the girl acted smugly and forced a smile out as she mumbled.

“I see how it works.”

“YOU!!!”

At that moment, I pointed at her as I screamed the hardest I ever have in my whole life.

“Eek!?”

The person in question bulged her eyes and freaked out as she turned to me. Unexpectedly, she’s an adorable girl from Otobuki High School.

-Yes, it is at this moment.

I, Ayumu Kiriya, a mediocre live streamer.

Made my first contact with a lonely and miserable high school girl-

-Chiaki Hoshinomori.

< Time until Keita Amano’s girlfriend enters Ayumu Kiriya’s apartment: 2 and a half months >