Grabbing Your Hand, Dragging you Away

I expressionlessly leave him to suck my finger, feeling increasingly irritated at heart.

He loosens his hold, traces of blood tainting his lips, making his skin appear even more fair, handsome face gaining an additional touch of devilishness, “It’s fine now.”

I coldly look at him, “Meng Shao Jue, you had aired me out enough now.”

“Ah-Lan.” He caresses my face, fingertip soft and delicate, “I have just been a little busy these days.”

“Busy?” I chuckle, “Busy with what? Busy with interrogating Yuwen Rui?”

He narrows his phoenix eyes, unable to work out his feelings from his black eyes, “Three days ago, you were still laughing and chatting to me, three days later, you’re already unable to hold on, Ah-Lan, your patience has gotten worse.”

Qing Ya had already withdrawn, only he and I are left in the room now, I don’t bother beating around the bush with him either, saying: “What rights do I have to be competing in patience with you?”

“No rights?” He grabs my wrist, slightly tightening his hold, “An Ke Lan, how could you have no rights?”

He pulls me into his arms, black orbs shiningly looking at me, suppressing his anger as he says: “Back then, who was it that was still able to remain calm after being sold into the Meng Estate? Who was it that was able to remain carefree in face of San-er’s provocation? Who was it that had not an ounce of fear before me and Ying Lu? Who was it that was still able to leisurely exchange attacks with me after consuming the venomous bug, clearly disregarding me?”

He spits out the words one by one: “And who was it that did not panic at all in face of the chaotic scene in the palace, rescuing the emperor in a calm and composed manner? You were once so patient, yet now, you can’t withstand it after just three days?”

I say nothing, just staring right at him.

“A great Yuwen Rui.” He satirically says: “Didn’t think he is actually able to affect you to this point.”

“Meng Shao Jue.” I speak up, “The present cannot compare to the past, I am no longer that Ah-Lan you know, nor are you the great young master of the Meng Estate I faced back then.”

How could he not understand the meaning in my words, his eyes abruptly turns sharp, then laughs instead of being angered, “Well said, you are no longer the you of the past.” He stands, brushing off his sleeves as he says with a smile: “I still have some matters at hand, shall be taking my leave first.”

I watch his leaving figure and suddenly feel a surge of powerlessness, Yuwen Rui, how you must have felt when faced with my disappearance back then, I can pretty much understand it now.

This feeling really is……truly is, horrible.

After Meng Shao Jue left that day, he once again started to avoid seeing me, just that the situation is slightly different to the past days. In the past days, he had left me to air out at the side all along, whereas these several days, he had been sending things over daily.

I just coldly watch them carry those things into my room, not uttering a sound.

Qing Ya is not too happy about this, always talking about where those things have come from, how very difficult to get hold of, and how valuable they are, then take turns to express her surprise and praises, seeming to only be satisfied after she’s told me something.

After the servants once again carry a bunch of things in, and I once again see and disregard them, she could no longer hold back.

“Young Lady.” She walks up to me, delivering me the jade qilin cup like she’s offering a treasure, “Look at this, I heard it is a cup made from the southern cold jade, with only this one existing in the world.”

I don’t even bat an eye, “En.”

Qing Ya pauses, then grinningly says: “I also heard that this cup ah, the wine in the cup will turn cold in summer, and turn warm in winter, how convenient.”

I lightly respond: “En.”

Qing Ya endures it, then goes and come back with a book, “Young Lady, look at this book of {{Mo Shang Gui}}, this is already a banned book amongst the common people, Gentleman only found it after searching for a long time, and had personally went to seek it from someone!”

I continue to stare out the window in a daze, “En.”

She then asks with a smile: “Young Lady, Gentleman sent over so many things, is there not one that you like?”

I say: “En.” 𝐟𝗿𝚎𝐞𝓌e𝒃𝑛𝒐ѵ𝒆𝑙.c𝚘𝓶

Qing Ya goes silent for a moment, suddenly slamming the book down on the table, angrily saying: “Ah-Lan, what exactly is up with you?”

I draw back my line of sight to look at Qing Ya, “En?”

Qing Ya furrows her brows, unhappily saying: “Do you perhaps know how much effort Gentleman has put into finding these things, yet you don’t even spare them a glance, not to mention understanding Gentleman’s good intentions!”

I raise my brows, “And?”

She continues saying “I don’t understand the complications between you and Gentleman, but I only know that when you were in the Meng Estate back then, Gentleman did not ill-treat you. I have been by Gentleman’s side for so many years, but when have I ever seen him favour a woman so much? I know you are Yun Mi’s princess, a highly distinguished figure, but our Gentleman is not your average man either. After we had returned to Yun Ze, Gentleman may have not mentioned you, but had told me to prepare a room, furnishing it exactly the same as the one you stayed in. Gentleman doesn’t allow anyone to enter that room, and would only go in when drunk himself.” She becomes increasingly worked up, “One time I was waiting on Gentleman at the doors, I could hear Gentleman constantly call out your name……Ah-Lan, no matter what Gentleman has done, at least these feelings he holds for you are real!”

I lower my eyes, Qing Ya speaks as though Meng Shao Jue treats me specially, and holds deep rooted feelings for me, but……so what?

“Qing Ya.” I pick up that {{Mo Shang Gui}}, slowly turning a few pages, saying: “This book, is said to be valuable in your words, is a treasure that is difficult to get hold of.” I then close the book, pushing it far off to the side, “But when I don’t want to read it, it becomes a pile of wasted paper.”

Qing Ya squints a little, then grits her teeth in saying: “Ah-Lan, I really do feel saddened for Gentleman! To actually like such a heartless person like you!”

I crack a smile, she feels saddened for Meng Shao Jue? Can I not be saddened then?

I acted wilfully for some time in the Meng Estate, but what I got in exchange, was getting used by him after being fed a venomous bug, he – Meng Shao Jue – likes me when he feels good, mercilessly uses me when he feels cruel, in comparison, who is the more pitiful one? Nevermind the fact that he appeared when Yuwen Rui and I were about to leave, capturing Yuwen Rui and imprisoning me, even if I didn’t receive any beatings or torture, does that mean I am happy to accept this development?

He planted the bitter seed himself, what right does he have to demand a sweet fruit to grow from it?

I no longer pay her any attention, continuing to turn a deaf ear as I look out the window.

Yuwen Rui, tell me, what can I do to be of help to you?

On an afternoon, seven days later, I lie on couch feeling abnormally antsy, no matter what position I’m in, it just makes me feel restless, I fiercely grit my teeth, punching the bed without stop, wanting nothing more than to smash it to bits, swinging my fist wherever I can.

After a long time, I finally stop this immature behaviour, yet waves of anxiety sets off in my heart.

I actually……want to cry.

But why do I want to cry? 𝗳𝔯𝙚e𝒘e𝚋𝘯𝚘ν𝙚l.𝑐o𝙢

I don’t know.

I stretch out my hand and look at my own palm, the romance line on it is long and consistent, does this mean I can have a long romance?

So Yuwen Rui, nothing will happen to you.

Someone knocks on the door, attractive voice saying: “Ah-Lan, I’m coming in.”

He pushes open the door, a body of royal blue brocade robes appears luxurious and extravagant, that handsome face filled with a bright smile. He holds some sort of furry thing as he approaches, smiling as he says to me: “Take a look at what I’ve brought to you.”

I get up, looking at that tiger cub trembling in his arms, eyes containing the look of a child wanting to please people.

He brushes over the tiger cubs ears, looking at its pitiful expression, “Such a cute little fellow, it was just born not long ago.” He holds the tiger cub out to me, saying: “Hold it, the little fellow is so soft, very comfortable to hold.”

I just lightly look at his outstretched hands, unmoving.

“Ah-Lan.” His thin lips are still very beautifully hooked up, “This is a birthday gift for you.”

I pause, birthday gift? Turns out it’s already my birthday today? I bitterly laugh, so much has happened, I had actually forgotten that it is my birthday.

“Ah-Lan.” He sends the tiger cub into my arms, “You will like it.”

“I don’t want it.” My voice sounds very rigid, “Meng Shao Jue, I don’t want anything from you, please stop wasting your efforts.”

His long phoenix eyes slightly narrows, smile still bright as he says: “What? Do you not like all these things? I’ll immediately have people carry them away, then send you something else tomorrow.”

I look at his smiling face, suddenly finding it very harsh on the eyes, “I said I don’t want anything from you, no matter what it is.”

“Ah-Lan.” He reaches out to caress my cheek, “Don’t be reckless.”

I smack his hand away, solemnly saying: “Meng Shao Jue, don’t play this move on me, you know what I want.”

“Oh?” He lazily raises his brows, “What is it you want?”

I fix my eyes onto him, “Where is Yuwen Rui?”

A cold light flitter past his eyes, yet his lips is still lined with a smile, “Ah-Lan, are you that worried about him?”

I don’t cower away, “Yes.”

The curve at his lips turn shallow, the look in his eyes instantly turning cold, “An Ke Lan, you need not be so honest.”

“But I am indeed worried about him, and I’m about to go crazy.” I ignore the worsening look on his face, continuing to say: “You’ve won, I cannot compete with you in patience.”

“Very good.” His smile is no longer able to hang on, fiercely throwing the tiger cub onto the couch, leaving the tiger cub to sound a pitiful whimper, “You wish to know his whereabouts, fine, I’ll take you to see him.”

Both my hands clenches under my sleeves, hearing him lower down to my ear side as he adds: “But, don’t you regret it.”

No, I won’t regret it.

I just want to see him, to find my courage again, that is all.