Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 9 - If I fall, run away

Once someone brought it up, the others who hadn’t dared to speak immediately followed.

[Guild] Saw a Deer Deep in the Forest: Yeah, do we still kill her or not? We haven’t gotten revenge for Xianxian’s destroyed eq.

[Guild] Chunxiao: I still haven’t figured that out: five of you went to encircle Xiao Tianjing, and if you had just let her run away, then so be it, but why was even one of you killed?

[Guild] Affectionate in Silence: Aiya, who knew that Xiao Tianjing would be so insidious! It was inevitable.

[Guild] Chunxiao: One healer and one medic, why was it inevitable? Even if the medic was sealed, the healer herself has healing skills.

Chunxiao was the vice guild master of Idle Pavilion, a woman. It was said that she had a love affair with their female guild master, Regardless of Lovesickness.

This wasn’t considered a secret in the guild. When Regardless of Lovesickness was absent, Chunxiao was basically the one in charge of the guild.

[Guild] Affectionate in Silence: No but, Xiaoxiao, Xianxian only died because she was helping out the guild to kill people, and she even lost her equipment…. You can’t just say that, can you?

[Guild] Chunxiao: I’m just stating the facts.

[Guild] Immortal Mengmeng:…

[Guild] Immortal Mengmeng: I’m sorry [sheds tears] I didn’t think of it then either, and when I snapped out of my daze and wanted to heal myself, I was already killed by that fox in mere seconds…

[Guild] Chunxiao: In the future, when you go out to kill people, you should pay more attention. Otherwise, you will end up killed instead. Not only will it be easy for you to lose your equipment and experience, but it would damage the reputation of our guild as well.

After Chunxiao finished talking, she minimised the game interface and continued to discuss the hidden quest with several other big guilds in a QQ discussion group.

Number One Guildmaster in the World: I just went to the NPC to take a look, this damn quest only requires high-level materials! Nine Chivalrous Heroes is really something, aren’t they forcibly making us expend all our personal supplies?!

South Side of Painting Pavilion Guildmaster: That’s really unfortunate then, our guild just did a major experience instance, so we don’t have many high-level materials left.

Shatter the Sky Guildmaster: South Side of Painting Pavilion, you’re really something. There’s clearly a pile of high-quality materials in your guild’s storage bank. Do you think everyone is blind?

South Side of Painting Pavilion Guildmaster: Fuck! Shatter the Sky you bastard, you placed spies in our guild again!

Shatter the Sky Guildmaster: Nonsense, an acquaintance took a screenshot for me! Who would stuff spies in your guild? You don’t deserve it!

South Side of Painting Pavilion Guildmaster: So what? If you have the capability then let’s establish ourselves as enemy guilds ah!

Idle Pavilion Guildmaster: If you want to fight, wait until things settle down before continuing. Don’t quarrel here and waste everyone’s time.

Idle Pavilion Guildmaster: I’ll cut the crap. I’ve worked out a plan for each guild to send 100 Immortal Tassel Grasses, 20 Fish Heart pills, and five Phoenix Eyes. Our Idle Pavilion will contribute 20% more materials than everyone else. If you have any opinions, you can bring them up now.

The precious materials she mentioned would take the concerted effort of their entire guild over two months to collect.

But when the other guilds heard that Idle Pavilion would be contributing 20% more than they would, they instantly felt a lot less upset.

Shatter the Sky Guildmaster: You guys will be forking out 120%?

Idle Pavilion Guildmaster: Any problem with that?

Shatter the Sky Guildmaster: Sigh, there’s no problem, it’s just a little surprising. I thought your guild wouldn’t even fork out a single cent.

South Side of Painting Pavilion Guildmaster: Wait a minute. Are you Chunxiao or Regardless of Lovesickness?

Idle Pavilion Guildmaster: ?

South Side of Painting Pavilion Guildmaster: Guess you’re Chunxiao then. Will Regardless of Lovesickness agree with what you’re trying to do?

Idle Pavilion Guildmaster: You don’t have to worry about that. That’s it then, hand in the materials within half an hour.

After saying this, Chunxiao exited the discussion group.

Then she opened up her friend list and found the name Yearning For. She tentatively sent out a “1”.

Unexpectedly, the message was sent out successfully.

[Friend] Yearning For:?

[Friend] Chunxiao: When are you guys planning on starting the King Yao quest?

[Friend] Chunxiao: You saw the system news, right? Give me some time, it’ll be easier for us to hand in the materials then.

[Friend] Yearning For: This afternoon.

[Friend] Chunxiao: Can you kill it?

[Friend] Yearning For: I don’t know.

[Friend] Chunxiao: 1

Xiang Huaizhi stopped replying. He only turned on the friend message function because he feared that the little fairy fox wouldn’t be able to find him.

“Old Xiang, you really don’t need the number one warlock in Nine Chivalrous Heroes to help you?” Lu Hang lay sprawled on the bed and asked him with his chin propped up.

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even look back. “Only she and I can get into the battle.”

“I know, I mean I could just operate her character ah.” Lu Hang said, “It’s not like you don’t know how difficult hidden quests are. The last people who triggered a hidden quest was the God of War party in the adjacent server, and it took them three hours to barely pass it. Now that you’re taking Xiao Tianjing along, aren’t you just going there just to get killed?”

Xiang Huaizhi said: “The difficulty of the BOSS will be adjusted according to the number of players.”

“But if you take Xiao Tianjing with you, it’s like you’re taking on the King of Yaos alone… What’s more, if she jumps onto your face while running for her life, won’t it be game over?’

Xiang Huaizhi asked him, “Do you really want to help?”

Lu Hang nodded crazily. This was a hidden quest ah, who wouldn’t want to be involved?

“Come to the city lord.”

Lu Hang immediately moved his character to walk next to Yearning For. “Why?”

Xiang Huaizhi emptied his belongings and set aside a lot of space. “Throw me some high-level potions.”

Lu Hang, “?”

“And a Nine-Tailed Immortal Fox transformation card as well.”

“No, but how can you have the face to ask me for a 700 gold transformation card?! High-level potions are also extremely expensive, I specifically saved them up for when I’m going to kill the God of War…”

Xiang Huaizhi raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you want to help?”

Lu Hang said, “Is this helping? This is asking for my life!”

“Do you still want to see the sealing of the King of Yaos from a first-person perspective?”

“?”

“Do you still want to kill the God of War?”

“…”

“Do you still want to do instances with three healers at the same time?”

Lu Hang grit his teeth. “… You TM… How many high-level potions do you want?”

——

After class, Jing Huan picked up some hot and sour noodles by a roadside stand and rushed home.

When he got home, he turned on his computer and was ready to log in to Nine Chivalrous Heroes.

【Hello, Illusion server is full at the moment, please wait in line patiently. There are 999 + players waiting ahead, and the estimated queue time is 37 minutes. 】

???

Jing Huan felt as if he had returned to ten years ago when Nine Chivalrous Heroes had just been launched. There were very few servers back then, and every player had to queue for several dozen minutes before they could log in.

But it’s already 9102 now? Why does he still need to queue up?

Is there a BUG in the game?

He tried to log in to the other servers, and he could enter all of them in seconds, so only Illusion had a queue.

Thirty minutes later, he arduously struggled into the server. As soon as he went online, he received numerous messages from friends and after taking a careful look, he realised that they all came from the same person.

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: Meimei, when will you kill the Yao King?

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: This quest only lasts for forty-eight hours!

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: There won’t be any time left if you don’t start soon, hurry hurry hurry!

Jing Huan finished reading the messages one by one before replying.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: What happened to the Nine Chivalrous Heroes servers today? My game is lagging so much, and I had to queue for half an hour to log in.

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: You’re here at last! A bunch of new characters crammed into the server, so of course it’ll be laggy!

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: Everyone registered for alt accounts to see you kill the Yao King.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ??

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: Now all the Nine Chivalrous Heroes game anchors are live-broadcasting the village quests for newbies.

[Friend] Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent: Meimei! You’re super popular in Nine Chivalrous Heroes now!!

Jing Huan had hardly finished reading the messages when a megaphone popped up in the lower left corner of his screen.

[Server-wide Megaphone] Don’t Rain Anymore: Xiao Tianjing, Yearning For, wait for me! I’m two levels away from getting out of the beginner’s village! Don’t rush to start! Prepare a little more!

[Server-wide Megaphone] Date online for awhile to feel good for awhile: Fuck I’m still queuing. Can a few players in front of me go offline and let me move forward a little?

[Server-wide Megaphone] There’s You in My Destiny: Can any insiders let us know when those two intend to start the quest? Everyone has been waiting in the stream for a whole day.

Jing Huan: “…”

His friend messages flashed again. He frowned and opened it, preparing to ask Vigorous Little Mosquito Repellent to shut up.

[Friend] Yearning For: 1

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: 0v0! Gege

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I’m sorry aaaahhh for being late! I queued for half an hour before I could log in [bites handkerchief]

[Friend] Yearning For: Go to the city lord.

Jing Huan flew over at once and found that the city lord was surrounded by people. There was a crowd of people moving together, and he couldn’t find Yearning For.

[Current] Peachy Fate: She’s here, she’s here!! Xiao Tianjing’s here!

[Current] Can’t wait until dark: They’re finally start! Gkdgkd!!

[Current] Bloody Warfare: Why is Xiao Tianjing a Fairy Fox Cave? How is she gonna kill the Yao King? Does she understand her sect’s skills?

… How on earth did these people see his character?

【Yearning For invited you to join their team. 】

Jing Huan quickly clicked ‘agree’.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: God of War Gege, why are so many people here? QvQ

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: If by any chance our party gets wiped out, won’t it be really humiliating [shock]

Suddenly, a man’s voice came from his headphones, “Clear your inventory.”

Before Jing Huan could respond, a ton of yellow worded prompts appeared on the game interface.

【Yearning For has thrown you a Nine-tailed Immortal Fox Transformation Card x1】

【Yearning For has thrown you Return Soul pills x5】

【Yearning For has thrown you Restoration Red Pearls x10】

…

Xiang Huaizhi continued, “Store your money.”

Jing Huan was shocked but quickly recovered. “I don’t have much money on me…”

Xiang Huaizhi uttered an “un”. “Look at the effects of those potions first. After the battle starts, find a corner to hide in. As long as you don’t touch the BOSS, the BOSS won’t hit you. You just need to pay attention to his damage scope. Remember to heal yourself, don’t die.”

Jing Huan: “… Ah?”

“If I fall, run away.” Xiang Huaizhi paused. “Run away like how you did the last time you were chased, understand?”

—

Juurensha: Omggg, everyone thinks Huanhuan is useless. Huanhuan, show them how a Fairy Fox fights!

Zryuu: Gege OP QAQ