Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

When Jing Huan returned home, he found that his cellphone had a lot of messages.

He opened WeChat without even taking his shoes off. There were more than 30 messages, none of which were sent by Xiang Huaizhi.

So he put his cellphone down, went to the bathroom to take a shower, dried his clothes, and then laid down on the bed to slowly flip through them.

As he arrived at the end of his messages, almost all of them were “Merry Christmas”.

Merry my ass.

All my merriness has died.

Jing Huan replied to all those holiday messages and then clicked on Xiang Huaizhi’s Moments. It was only when he saw there were no recent updates that he clicked back to the main Moments page.

But then, he saw Liang Ran’s new post in her Moments..

[Jie: [Christmas tree] I went looking for Jing Huanhuan. He’s still hot and handsome, and so is his senior… Why wasn’t there this kind of handsome Ge back when I was going to school!! [tears]! ]

Jing Huan was stunned and clicked on the picture below.

There were not only photos of them, but also a photo of Xiang Huaizhi.

He immediately sat up from the bed and opened the keyboard to reply——

Xiao Jing ya: Jie, why did you post his picture ah?!

Who knew that Liang Ran would also reply very quickly.

Liang Ran: Ah, I asked Xiao Xiang, and he agreed.

Oh, that’s okay then.

Jing Huan slowly laid back and took another look at the photo.

It was a photo of Xiang Huaizhi by himself. He had taken off his coat, revealing a gray sweater. With his chin propped in one hand, he was casually flashing a V at the camera.

He didn’t even have a photo of Xiang Huaizhi.

Jing Huan stared at the photo for a while before holding down to save it.

He closed the Moments page, only to find that Liang Ran had sent him a message.

Jie: Ah, I forgot to give you my Christmas present.

Jie: … I came all the way here to give you this, but I forgot!!!

Jie: [wipes tears]

Jie: Are you there?

Xiao Jing ya: I’m here.

Xiao Jing ya: It’s okay, giving it tomorrow will be the same.

Jie: Then, could it still be called a Christmas present?

It could be called a lovelorn gift.

Jing Huan thought in silence.

Jie: By the way, I have something else to ask you.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Jie: Did you make an appointment with someone else today ah?

Xiao Jing ya: ???

Jie: These roses, they weren’t for me ba.

Xiao Jing ya: …

Jing Huan sat up from the bed again.

He scratched his head and held his cellphone for a long time.

Xiao Jing ya: How did you know?

Jie: I’m not stupid!

Jie: There were exactly nine roses, and they were packed so carefully… I’ve also been confessed to before, okay?

Xiao Jing ya: Oh…

Jie: Are you dating someone? Or, do you have someone you like now? You’re not just going to stand them up ba??

Jie: Where are you? I’ll bring them over to you now.

Xiao Jing ya: No need.

Jie: Why?

Jie: [Question]

Jie: Speaking of that, if you had a date today, why didn’t you just tell me? I could’ve just went to get dinner myself ah. That young lady wouldn’t have misunderstood then ba.

Jing Huan’s heart surged up.

If only it was all just a misunderstanding.

But, he was very clear that this matter wasn’t a misunderstanding at all. He had truly tricked Xiang Huaizhi, and that was the reason why he couldn’t open his mouth.

He once thought about if their positions were switched. If someone had tricked him into getting married and making him fall in love with them, just for the purpose of getting revenge on him&#k2026;

Xiang Huaizhi not beating him just now just proved how good of a person he was.

He couldn’t just take advantage of Xiang Huaizhi. At that time, his confession would’ve made the scene even more embarrassing.

Xiao Jing ya: What gift did you buy for me?

Jie: Don’t change the subject. 𝐟𝓇ℯ𝒆we𝒃𝘯𝒐νe𝑙.co𝚖

Xiao Jing ya: Shoes again?

Jie: No!

Jie: Good things, it took me a long time to get it. They didn’t arrive for your birthday, or else this would’ve been your birthday present.

Liang Ran was still easy to trick, the issue was forgotten within two or three sentences, and she didn’t continue to poke at Jing Huan’s heart.

After chatting with Liang Ran, the dorm group chat began to go crazy. Lu Wenhao sent several voice messages that were longer than 20 seconds after getting drunk.

Knowing that he was drunk, Jing Huan normally wouldn’t have even bothered to open any of them, but today, he not only opened them but also listened to them all.

Lu Wenhao said a lot of random things and then began to sing. His tune went all over the place until it flew all the way to Spain.

Jing Huan thought that he was singing a Christmas song, but after listening carefully, he found that it was Eason Chan’s “Lonely Christmas“.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiao Jing ya: Today is a holiday, can you sing something happy?

Then, Lu Wenhao sang “Good Days”.

Jing Huan exited the group chat and tapped on his messages. At the bottom was a snowman and a Santa Claus.

He didn’t think of it at the time, but now he realized that this emoticon could be his last emoticon to Xiang Huaizhi.

If he had known, he wouldn’t have sent Santa.

However you looked at it, he should’ve sent a heart.

Jing Huan found that he couldn’t think about it anymore, since his eyes started to sting every time he thought about it.

Otherwise, how would it count as reaping what he had sown.

He hadn’t done many bad things in the past, so he thought that God could turn a blind eye to him, but it turned out that this had been waiting for him all along.

At two o’clock in the morning, Jing Huan crawled out of the bed and turned on the computer.

When he got on NCH and reached the character selection page, his heart immediately thumped.

He wouldn’t… receive a system prompt of forced divorce as soon as he logged in, right?

He lingered for too long on the selection page and exceeded the game’s time limit, so it directly logged him off.

“…”

Two minutes later, he quickly entered the game.

His friend’s notifications flickered, prompting that he had two unread messages.

Jing Huan didn’t rush to open them. He took a cart back home and released Xiao Xiangjing. After stuffing her with food and toys, he triggered Xiao Xiangjing’s dialogue system.

[Xiao Xiangjing: When I grow up, I want to be just like my mother, fair as a flower, beautiful as the moon, and known all over the world. [biting fingers]]

Jing Huan thought, your mother didn’t learn things properly, you’d better follow your father ba.

Only after all this was done did he resign himself to open up his messages.

[System Prompt: Great hero Xiao Tianjing, you haven’t competed in the arena for three days. If you don’t compete again in seven days, the competition points will be frozen. If you don’t compete again in 24 days, the points will be reduced by 20 points every week. ]

Jing Huan clicked next.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Jingjing, why are you playing in the middle of the night? [surprised]

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Can’t sleep, so I came online to look around.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Really a couple, you guys even get online at almost the same time.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ???

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: God Xiang also just logged in.

Jing Huan immediately glanced at his chat with him. The chat showed (0 / 1), indicating that he wasn’t online anymore.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: What did he log in for?

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: [surprised] This… how would I know…?

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: But I did see his location info at the time, he was at your home. When I looked at it again, he was offline.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: … Ohoh.

Jing Huan pursed his lips and clicked on his friend list.

He saw that Xiang Huaizhi’s personal data had changed.

From “Just Be Happy”, back to the original period.

Jing Huan stared at the period for a long time and found that he seemed to have overestimated himself.

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even need to apply for divorce. Just changing a punctuation mark could make Jing Huan feel like a miserable fool.

*

The next day, Jing Huan had an early class. The professor had said before that all those who didn’t come to the last two classes would fail.

His future boyfriend was already gone, so he couldn’t just add more problems to his life. Because he got up late, he rushed into the classroom without eating breakfast.

When Lu Wenhao saw him, he was shocked. “You damn… Did you go drinking last night?”

Jing Huan had a splitting headache, and his voice was hoarse. “No.”

“Then how could you look worse than a hungover me?” Lu Wenhao asked. “If I threw you into a zoo right now, people would surround you thinking that you were a panda.”

Jing Huan didn’t speak and stretched out his hand towards him. fr𝚎e𝙬𝚎𝚋𝚗૦ν𝚎𝒍.c૦m

“What?” asked Lu Wenhao.

“Admission fee.” Jing Huan said, “Want to stare at the national treasure for nothing?”

Lu Wenhao smiled and had just wanted to say something when Gao Zixiang burst into the conversation.

“Holy shit,” Gao Zixiang said while liking things in his Moments. “Your Jiejie is here?”

Jing Huan let out an “en”.

“Then why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve treated her to dinner ah.” Gao Zixiang said.

“I also didn’t know she was coming.” Jing Huan said.

“When will she leave?”

“In the afternoon.”

Gao Zixiang let out an “oh”. “Then let me make an appointment with her for lunch.”

Jing Huan held his cellphone and didn’t lift his head. “Whatever you like.”

After class, the three of them walked out of the school, and Liang Ran was already waiting for them at the door.

“Ran Jie.” Gao Zixiang greeted her familiarly.

Liang Ran looked back and smiled at them. “En, I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Yeah, and you’re still so beautiful.” Gao Zixiang said, “Come, I’ll help you carry your bags… What’s this?”

Liang Ran wasn’t only carrying a shopping bag but was also holding a paper bag.

She didn’t answer. She just opened the shopping bag, took out a baseball cap from it, and placed it on Jing Huan’s head.

Jing Huan was shocked. “What’s this?”

“Christmas present ah.” Liang Ran said, “Look at the brim.”

Jing Huan took it off and only then discovered that it had the signature of his favorite basketball player there.

“Thank you, Jie,” he said as the corners of his mouth pulled up.

“Tch, this isn’t like you ah—” Gao Zixiang grabbed his shoulder in mock outrage. “Look at it clearly! Whose signature is this?!!”

Liang Ran was amused by Gao Zixiang. She reached out and also handed Jing Huan the paper bag.

Jing Huan asked, “So much?”

“What?!” Liang Ran exclaimed. “The hat was your gift. This one is me returning something to you.”

Jing Huan was at a loss. “Returning something to me?”

“En, didn’t I take the wrong thing yesterday? Returning it to its rightful owner.” Liang Ran paused, “Although those weren’t fresh after the night, so these are ones I just bought. They’re the same type and from the same store.”

Jing Huan took over the bag and smelled the faint fragrance of flowers.

He had a small lump in his throat. It took a long time for him to say, “Jie.”

“En?”

“The plush yesterday…” Jing Huan looked down and said, “That plush was also something I wanted to give to them, please return it to me as well ba.”

Gao Zixiang invited Liang Ran to eat steak, and Jing Huan and Lu Wenhao tagged along.

On the way to dinner, Lu Wenhao kept trying to see what was in the bag, but he never succeeded.

“Don’t look, it’s his secret.” Liang Ran said. She propped her chin on her hand and whispered to her Didi, “Why don’t you call that girl over. I’ll explain everything to her?”

Jing Huan shook his head. “No need.”

Don’t even mention calling him over. He didn’t even dare to send any messages to Xiang Huaizhi right now.

It wasn’t that he was afraid of being cursed out, it was that he was afraid of receiving the notification that he’d been blacklisted after he sent the message.

After lunch, the driver called by Liang Ran had already arrived near the school gate. She went back to the hotel to pick up her luggage and the plush..

Jing Huan was waiting in front of the car. Lu Wenhao and Gao Zixiang were still recounting last night’s drunken antics.

“He couldn’t outdrink the other people, but he still tried to compete with them, and finally had to pretend to throw up to avoid drinking more… Is he too much or what?” Gao Zixiang said with dislike.

Lu Wenhao was so angry. “You were the one pretending, fuck, Laozi was really throwing up!”

Gao Zixiang retorted, “You even have the nerve to say that other people made you drunk enough to throw up, shameless.”

Lu Wenhao angrily raised his hand and prepared to fight with him on the spot.

Jing Huan spoke one minute and was quiet the next, his cellphone vibrated the entire time. It was vibrating from the people in the guild playing with red envelopes. Every time it vibrated though, he still looked down.

“Hey? Isn’t that Xiang Ge?”

Hearing Lu Wenhao’s words, Jing Huan nearly dropped his cellphone.

“Where ah?” Asked Gao Zixiang.

“Convenience store, the one right by the school gate. Is it him?” Lu Wenhao paused, “Must be, there aren’t that many handsome backs at our school.”

Gao Zixiang started laughing after hearing him. “The person isn’t even here and you’re still sucking up to him???”

“Nah,” Lu Wenhao stretched out a hand and called out, ”Xiang Ge!!”

Jing Huan instinctively turned his head and happened to meet Xiang Huaizhi’s gaze.

They may have only looked at each other for a second, but that was all it took for Jing Huan to be nailed on the spot by his gaze.

Xiang Huaizhi moved his line of sight to look at Lu Wenhao, and he slightly nodded before turning away to leave.

“Tch, still so handsome even if he’s just nodding,” Lu Wenhao jealously said.

Jing Huan agreed, “En.”

Lu Wenhao patted him on the shoulder. “Of course, you’re also handsome.”

“Hao’er.” Jing Huan stopped for a moment and called out to him.

“Ah?”

“Would you be disgusted if the catfisher from before came back and started to pursue you again?”

“Fuck, still not finished?” Lu Wenhao said, “He shouldn’t be this shameless?”

“It’s a bit shameless.” Jing Huan said.

Lu Wenhao thought about it and felt like the way he’d said it might’ve been a bit too much. He frowned and considered it a bit more, and was just about to amend his words when the person next to him suddenly patted him on the shoulder.

“When my Jie comes, help me get the plush back.”

Lu Wenhao was stunned. “Ah? Where are you going…?”

Before Lu Wenhao finished speaking, the person next to him raised his legs and ran towards the school.

If this was shameless, then he was shameless.

You can’t eat your own shame after all.

There was a bit of a distance between the station and the school gate. Jing Huan didn’t even know how Lu Wenhao had seen Xiang Huaizhi.

He hadn’t even run this hard for the 1500m race. When he grabbed a hold of Xiang Huaizhi’s clothes, he almost couldn’t breathe.

Xiang Huaizhi stopped and turned around.

Jing Huan was panting, with his head slightly drooping, and called out, “Gege…”

Xiang Huaizhi stood still and asked, “What’s the matter?”

His voice was even colder than the chill wind blowing around them.

Jing Huan didn’t care. He licked his lips and held out the paper bag in his hands.

“This, I wanted to give it to you yesterday.” After a pause, his breathing gradually calmed down. ”Even though yesterday has already passed, I still… want to give it to you.”

—

Juurensha: Yes Huanhuan! Confess your feelings!

Divi: Oh my god, will XHZ accept this? Will they talk about it? End my misery.

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