Holding On to My Man

Translator: Dandan

TLC: THISBRO

Editor: Evan

Gu Bai didn’t know how to describe his mood when he discovered the Feng clan’s heavenly books to achieve nirvana. He only knew that at that moment, the Yin Baigu from before was gone.

He held the jade slip and sat on the bank of the small river for an entire three days and three nights before controlling a puppet to go to the lower realm.

He couldn’t do anything about his origins, but he could choose to change his future.

No matter how hard and painful the process was and how serious the consequences of failure were, he had to gamble on this game of chess…

He didn’t know if the Feng clan’s nirvana technique could help separate himself from his puppet body, but he knew that it could help him break free of others’ control, wash away his past, and remove him from all of these shackles.

But the biggest problem was that non-Feng clan clansmen who rashly used this method could lose all their memories. This was the hidden intent he saw in Yin Li’s eyes.

As his creator, Yin Li understood him very well and knew his character, so when he had been in the hall, a big fishing net had been cast down onto him.

But what Yin Li didn’t expect was that Yin Baigu also knew him very well…

Gu Bai was not sure he could win this game. If he won, that would naturally be good. But if he lost, he would lose all of his memories.

He was afraid, afraid that if he lost this chess game, the name Ye Cang would disappear from his memories forever. He would never remember that he had once loved a man named Ye Cang.

He was even more afraid that if he lost, he would have to be with a person he did not love for the rest of eternity.

Yes, he understood the hidden emotion in Yin Li’s eyes. Yin Li had fallen in love with him. The Yin Li who had cultivated the path of ruthlessness had fallen in love with him.

However, he didn’t love Yin Li because he had fallen in love with the man named Ye Cang, and there was no room for others in his heart.

That was why he descended into the mortal realms to find a reliable person to make a deal with, leaving clues for the future him to discover.

Regardless of whether he won or lost in this final game of chess, the relief sculpture in the ancient tomb would warn him. So even if he really lost in the end, as long as he saw this relief, he would never fall in love with Yin Li…

This was the worst possible outcome, but he wanted to win, so he found Lu Yaoji.

“You’re the one who stole the compass and controlled me, aren’t you? What do you have against me?”

He looked at Lu Yaoji and asked that question. In fact, he had already guessed all sorts of reasons. He had come here on purpose, in order to ask this.

Lu Yaoji didn’t speak, but the change in her complexion betrayed her. Gu Bai laughed. He didn’t hate Lu Yaoji. He only blamed himself for being too stupid and not understanding people’s hearts.

But, at this moment, these people would all be his pawns.

“…… Because of Master, right? Because you found out that he fell in love with me, and you discovered this even before he and I knew… ”

“In fact, you have always wanted to get rid of me, but you didn’t dare to do it yourself. My level of cultivation completely eclipses yours, so you can’t kill me. And, if you don’t kill me completely, I will recover because I’m a puppet with an almost immortal body…”

“That’s why you told me that the immortal flower of the demon world could allow me to have flesh and blood, and so you led me to the demon world to provoke Ye Cang because only a person as strong as him can take my life…”

“But what you didn’t expect was that not only did Ye Cang not kill me, he instead fell in love with me. However, at that time, you must have experienced an indescribable happiness for a short period of time, which was why it was so easy for me to sneak out of the immortal realm to meet Ye Cang later on. You were helping me, because everytime I left the immortal realm, I would be of no threat to you…”

“But what you didn’t expect even more was that Master had already realized his feelings for me. In the hall, when you saw Master letting me go, you must have seen how complex his resentment was…”

Gu Bai looked at Lu Yaoji and calmly narrated the facts.

He never knew that the immortal sister Yaoji, whom he had met in the immortal realm and who had always been taking care of him, was actually so resentful towards him underneath her smile.

When the truth was revealed, her false smile disappeared. He looked at Lu Yaoji’s clean and beautiful face which now revealed ferocious and resentful eyes.

“Yes, you guessed right. Yin Baigu, I just want you to die! You’re just a puppet that’s supposed to be ordered around by others. On what basis could you have obtained his love?”

“I’m not a puppet. I have a soul…” he retorted again.

“You consider this a soul? Every creature in the world can enter the cycle of reincarnation, but can you enter the six reincarnations? You are nothing!”

Lu Yaoji hatefully roared.

“You don’t know, you don’t know anything! I grew up with him and we began the journey of cultivation together. We should have been a rare pair of cultivators destined to be dedicated to each other. But, because of you, because of your appearance, everything changed!”

“…… At that time, I knew from the moment he brought you back to the sect that he fell in love with you. Fell in love with a puppet like you, but he didn’t know it at that time…. ”

“No, maybe he did know at that time, which was why he chose to practice the sect’s ruthless sword cultivation, because he couldn’t accept that he fell in love with the puppet man he created. Not only that, but you’re also both men, which violates the yin-yang principle, so he became even more determined to cultivate into an immortal and to live a normal life…”

“But I really didn’t expect you to occupy such a large part in his heart. Besides the common people, there is only room for you left… I’m unresigned to this, as he and I should have been immortal partners as ordained by heaven, but it was all destroyed by you!”

“So you decided to destroy my love?”

Looking at Lu Yaoji’s distorted face, he only felt it was laughable. It turned out that people’s hearts could be complicated to this degree that she hated him because Yin Li didn’t love her. Such a ridiculous reason.

But for those who were lost in love, this might be rather normal. Jealousy was enough to make a person crazy and twisted.

So now Lu Yaoji’s face showed a contented smile.

“Yes, Yin Baigu. I want you to be as miserable as me! I really don’t know what part of you can even be considered good, that they would both fall in love with you. Yin Li and Ye Cang were even willing to stop their war for you, raise a hand against their own people, and willingly become sinners despised by the whole demon clan. You’re a scourge! If you want to blame anyone, then blame yourself for being too stupid. You’ve lived for a thousand years, yet you can’t even understand this part of human nature!”

Yes, he was the one who had implicated Ye Cang. Even though he hadn’t meant it, it was the truth. His heart rippled with pain, and Lu Yaoji’s goal was achieved. He really was very miserable at this moment.

“Lu Yaoji, did you think he would love you if I weren’t here? No, he wouldn’t. He didn’t before, and he won’t in the future.”

He was choked with emotion before staring at Lu Yaoji as he enunciated each word slowly.

“Listen to me. As long as I, Yin Baigu still live, I will never let Yin Li fall in love with you. On the day that I, Yin Baigu, die, I will also use my life to curse you to never get Yin Li’s love…”

“Then I’ll kill you first!”

It was more painful to never receive Yin Li’s love than to die. Lu Yaoji’s face twisted to the extreme. When Gu Bai reached out to create the curse, a sword fueled with resentment pierced his chest and pulled out his heart.

The extreme resentment caused her to miss the flash of a smile in Gu Bai’s eyes.

He was stupid, but Lu Yaoji was even more stupid. If he really wanted to curse her, why would he give her a chance to interrupt him? If he was resistant, how could Lu Yaoji, whose cultivation was not higher than his, easily snatch away his heart?

He even said that he was not foolish, as he followed Yin Li from the cultivation world to the immortal realm step by step. How could he be foolish? It was just that he didn’t understand people’s schemes, that was all…

The last scene he saw before he closed his eyes was Lu Yaoji swallowing his heart and screaming at “Yin Li” crazily.

“Come, kill me, kill me, I dare you! His heart is with me now. If you kill me and can’t save him within a quarter of an hour, he will never be able to revive!”

Yin Li seemed very angry. His face was ashen, but ultimately he put down his palm and took Yin Baigu, who had turned back into a carved jade statue, away.

Gu Bai looked at Lu Yaoji who was laughing madly and was pleased with herself, and with relief he allowed Yin Li to use the nirvana method on him, sending his weak spirit into the three thousand worlds to slowly recover.

Yes, he wouldn’t use it by himself. This game of chess, he would try his utmost to win.

The day Yin Li completed the last steps of the nirvana technique would be the day of his return!

At that time, he would have a free body and could go to the demon realm to find Ye Cang.

What Gu Bai didn’t expect was that Lu Yaoji hated him more than he thought. His “death” was not enough to eliminate Lu Yaoji’s hatred.

She knew that Yin Li would try his best to save him, so when Ye Cang finally suffered the wrath and disdain of the entire demon clan and was imprisoned, and when the Taotie was dispatched to the immortal realm, she had a crazy idea.

She intercepted the Taotie beast that Yin Li had severely injured and imprisoned him in one of the small worlds among the three thousand worlds, then assigned people to keep watch over it and torture it.

In the future, when the Taotie devoured and caused the deaths of hundreds of millions of mortals in that world, it would incite public indignation toward the demon world and cause it to be besieged and destroyed by the other four united realms.

Then she secretly closed off Gu Bai’s nirvana so that none of the worlds could lead to his reincarnation and ascension, then sealed off that world, cutting off any and all roads to his return.

And then she revealed the news of his “death”.

That day, on the battlefield between the immortals and the demons, Ye Cang was willing to become a traitor of the demon clan for Yin Baigu. She trusted that if the other received the news of Yin Baigu’s death, he would definitely create a huge disturbance.

No matter how strong Ye Cang was, he wouldn’t be able to take on six whole realms by himself.

If Yin Baigu really came back alive, what would his expression look like when he found out that Ye Cang had died for him, that the demon realm had been destroyed because of him, and that he had harmed the person he loved most?

Lu Yaoji’s heart was full of resentment and carefree expectation.