How To Raise Your Regressor

"Hmm, I'm probably late in asking this, but why did you come to this forest anyway?"

They weren't here just to save me, that's for sure.

Probably. f𝑟e𝒆𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗oѵ𝐞𝗹.c૦𝑚

Bruhh, my overthinking brain needs to hold its horses.

Considering every possibility, no matter how unlikely it is, is not good for my mental health. It sure is smart play though.

"We actually came here for a dungeon expedition." Azell replied as Noelle had already distanced herself from us to act as the silent protector.

What a weird fetish.

"Oh? What kind of dungeon?"

"It's a 'Rare' ranked dungeon. According to our reports, there aren't any monsters inside."

Hmm, it could be a puzzle-type dungeon then, where instead of monsters to defeat, you get puzzles (or something similar) that must be solved to clear the dungeon.

There are dungeons where, depending upon whether one solved the puzzles or not, the Boss Monster one faced changed. The more mysteries one solved, the easier the final fight got (or vice-versa, in some cases).

It's kinda similar to planning a heist; the more you prepare by completing setup missions, the easier the final heist would get.

Needless to say, I'm an expert when it comes to such dungeons.

"Is it far?"

"Oh, we're not going there right now. We'll first drop you at the city then check out the dungeon."

"Eh?"

Well, I mean, it is smart to not take a child with you on a dungeon exploration, but I'm not just your regular child!

"We're dropping you off." His tone was firm, as if admonishing a child.

This damn inconvenient body.

"But there are no monsters there!"

"It's a dungeon; we don't know what could happen."

"I can take care of myself."

"Need I remind you that I just saved you from a situation where you had resigned yourself to your fate of being eaten by a pack of monsters?"

Wow.

"I was weak back then. I just made myself some new Mana Circuits so I'm really strong now."

Too strong for a 12-year-old actually.

"No."

Tch, this approach won't work, would it?

"But look, won't you waste your time by dropping me off at the city."

"We don't have any choice."

"We do. I'll just stay at the rear and listen to everything you have to say."

"It is dangerous."

"And what will I do if people start discriminating against me when I'm inside the city? Oh, what if they actually decide to execute me or something?" I groaned.

"…Your hairs are white right now."

"I don't think I can maintain this state for long."

"Weren't you supposed to be proficient in magic now?" He rolled his eyes.

"Maintaining a magic spell over a long period of time is different then releasing it all at once."

"…You're shrewd, aren't you?" He squinted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Me and shrewd? Pfft, I'm as innocent as a child gets.

And children are spawns of the Devil. Anyone who disagrees is just lying to himself.

So yea, what I mean by being innocent as a child is that I'm the dodgiest guy ever.

"Isn't it fine, Azell?"

Nice one, Noelle! I shall remember this timely support.

"But…"

"Don't worry. If anything happens, I'll protect him."

Hmm, isn't she being, like, too nice?

What are you planning, Noelle? I'll have you know that I won't go down without a fight, especially not against a jealous woman who doesn't like her boo getting too close to a literal child.

Not to mention that I'd absolutely own her in a fight.

Probably.

…

Is my life in danger?

"Haahh… fine." Azell backed off with a sigh.

What's with protagonists being weak against women? Is this an unwritten rule that all protagonists must follow?

"Nice!" I made a show of pumping my fists.

As a child, I'm required to act excited. Honestly though, this is getting pretty tedious. I'm dropping this act the moment I get my position as the R&D Head.

And so, we changed directions and headed towards the dungeon.

Now that I think about it, shouldn't a dungeon be raided by a team of specialists? These two lovebirds came here with only two people, so either they're that confident in their abilities, or this is a mission that must be completed in absolute secrecy.

I hope it's the latter; it'll be more exciting that way.

We arrived at the dungeon after travelling for about half an hour.

This world's day is actually divided into 20 hours, as opposed to Earth's 24-hour format (where I lived my second-last life and died of old age), and it'll probably take me about a day to get used to this new time format. Thankfully, they use the same units of time as Earth that is seconds, minutes and hours.

This is just too convenient for it to be a coincidence, so there's probably a reason behind it. It's quite possible that the one who introduced the concept of measuring time had travelled to this world from Earth.

Actually, I'm pretty sure that Azell and Noelle are from Earth. Their faces, accents, manner of handling themselves et cetera belong to an Earthling's.

There's probably a really good story behind this which I'm pretty excited to find out.

Anyway, we reached the dungeon, the entrance of which was quite predictably a cave by the side of a mountain.

The cave opened up to a clearing in the forest, and there was no one around. Most likely, Azell's guild were the first to discover this dungeon.

Looks like I can expect some juicy loot from this expedition. Hopefully, they'll share some of it with me.

Well, I just need some materials for my experiments and body modification. They can keep the rest. Besides, I'm sure I'll get a nice salary for being the R&D head. While it may not be enough to drown in luxuries, I'm sure I'll be able to live comfortably.

Azell pulled out a torch from his bag (the torch was clearly bigger than the bag, so I guess it's a space expanding bag or something) and lit it.

The light from the torch illuminated our surroundings. It was just your normal cave with no indication of it being a dungeon. However, the new screen in front of my eyes indicated otherwise.

[QUEST: Clear the Shadow Labyrinth. (Party Members: 3/10)]

Judging by their reactions, these two probably had a similar screen in front of their eyes.

But, Shadow Labyrinth. Hmm….

That doesn't sound like your friendly neighbourhood dungeon, chief.

If I were to guess, this was some important, not to mention dangerous, dungeon that clearly should not be attempted by a group of 3 members, one of which was a literal child.

This wasn't the most strategic play by Azell.

Let's hope that he knows about this dungeon from his previous turn, or I might have to get ready to greet my new life.

"Follow me. And remain on your guards."

We followed Azell as he asked in a straight-line formation. Obviously, I was in the middle of that line.

After some uneventful walking, we arrived at some sort of crossroads. The cavern on the right was wider and seemed safer, so I guess what we're here for is in the left one.

Azell turned left, all according to my expectations.

What I didn't expect was a rotting corpse right by the entrance of the left cavern.

"This is…"

Judging by its condition, it had probably been here for around a week. And judging by the fact that it was missing its lower half, it would be safe to assume that it was attacked by some monster.

"What happened to him…?" I ruminated loudly.

"He… tripped."

What?

Yea, makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

I sure hate it when I wake up in the morning, ready to seize the day, but accidentally trip and lose the lower half of my body. Ruins my day every time.

What the actual fuck, Noelle?

And no, don't nod to yourself like you have given me the most convincing explanation ever.

"…"

Look, even Azell is speechless.

This is just wow.