How To Survive as a Villain

Xiao YuAn didn’t expect that there would be a day after he transmigrated here, in which he wouldn’t feel bored without TV, struggle without WiFi, or feel anxious without air conditioning.

It’s because he can’t sleep! He! Can’t! Sleep!

After Xiao YuAn laid on the bed for a long time without being able to fall asleep, he simply turned over and climbed up to harass Yang LiuAn, who was on the night shift, standing guard outside the Palace hall.

Guard Yang was scared to death, but despite that, he still accompanied Xiao YuAn to talk about life.

Xiao YuAn: “The sea is full of water. The horse has four legs. Heaven, I just want to sleep.”

Yang LiuAn’s mouth was twitching, and his heart was collapsing, but as the Emperor’s Imperial bodyguard, it was his duty to listen Xiao YuAn’s thoughts with due diligence and conscientiousness.

“By the way, LiuAn, do you have a family?” Xiao YuAn thought for a while and suddenly asked.

“Answering to his Majesty, no, I don’t.”

“How about your parents?”

Yang LiuAn hesitated for a while and answered honestly: “Weichen1 was born from a maidservant, I don’t know who my father is. Weichen grew up in the palace and won the favor of the late Emperor, later I got the position of imperial guard. Now Weichen works for his Majesty, I’m willing to devote myself and die for his Highness.”

Inexplicably remembering about Yang LiuAn’s body cut into pieces in the original book, Xiao YuAn frowned, feeling uneasy and changed the topic.

After chatting blindly for a while, Xiao YuAn remembered that the young Monarch had the attribute of being a cut sleeve. He was afraid that if the conversation continued like this, Yang LiuAn’s innocence couldn’t be guaranteed, so he went back to bed staying up late, stiff as a corpse.

After staying like that for a while, he saw the candlelight flickering outside the Palace Hall. It was Hong Xiu: “Your Majesty, are you asleep?”

“Huh? I couldn’t sleep, what’s wrong?” Xiao YuAn wondered.

Hong Xiu carried a lantern in one hand and a porcelain bowl in the other: “This maidservant heard from Guard Yang that His Majesty couldn’t sleep at night, so I cooked a calming soup.”

Xiao YuAn felt warm in his heart: in this story, where all the considerate girls will be collected by the male lead, you’re definitely a clear stream Hong Xiu!

In addition, Hong Xiu also knew that the young Monarch couldn’t change the fact that he likes men, there wasn’t any intention of love intimacy with this kind of behavior, and so on! Hong Xiu knows his temperament, so…

Xiao YuAn suddenly came up with an idea and asked Hong Xiu: “It’s okay, I won’t drink the soup, but you can stay with me by the bed and wait for me to fall asleep.”

Hong Xiu was stunned: “Does his Majesty feel that the long night is boring? Why don’t you let this maidservant go and call the male concubines to accompany you?”

Don’t call those little devils, I really can’t take the route of the tyrannical president! As soon as they come, they’ll stick to my body as if I was a delicious course meal! Can’t take them off!

Xiao YuAn had no choice but to say: “No, I recently have decided to advocate by the principle of Heaven and destroy all human desire2.”

“D-destroy all human desire?” Hong Xiu almost bite off her tongue because of the shock, “Your Majesty, why do you want to suddenly become empty!”

……

After she said the last sentence, Hong Xiu felt her words weren’t proper. In fright she fell to her knees: “This humble maidservant was imprudent, I ask for his Majesty to punish this lowly slave.”

Xiao YuAn, who felt like he couldn’t sleep anymore, wanted to cry without tears: “It’s okay, raise your head, you will kneel without moving.”

Hong Xiu sighed in relief. When the verbal communication failed, Xiao YuAn was about to give up, but Hong Xiu no longer talked nonsense and took the initiative to blow out the candlelight, then she stood beside the Imperial couch.

Xiao YuAn was moved to tears, he turned over and felt like meeting the Good of Dreams3.

It wasn’t easy to solve the problem of how to fall asleep, and when Xiao YuAn thought that he could finally relax for a couple of days, the main plot of the original book slapped him hard in the face.

The General of Beiping came to offer his advice!!!

Xiao YuAn chewed the sweet-scented osmanthus cake and blankly asked Yang LiuAn, who came to report him the news: “Who?”

“Your Majesty! It’s General Sun!” Yang LiuAn felt like crying.

Xiao YuAn choked on the sweet-scented osmanthus cake and coughed for a long time, Yang LiuAn quickly brought some water: “Your Majesty, are you okay? Don’t worry, eat slowly.”

What about I also eat a hammer!

Xiao YuAn hurriedly drank the water, afterwards in a porcelain bowl he put a small dish containing osmanthus cake, he gave it to Yang LiuAn: “These are all for you, where’s General Sun?”

Yang LiuAn, seeing his arms inexplicably filled, answered: “The General is waiting for His Majesty in the main hall.”

Xiao YuAn didn’t dare to neglect, he quickly got up and rushed towards the main hall in a hurry. His stomach felt uneasy.

It was the original plot! The General Sun was a great man, he was over 60 years old and fought with the three generations of Monarchs of the Northern Kingdom. He was respected by thousands of people, and after following the late Emperor’s crusade against the Southern Yan Kingdom, he was appointed as the General of Beiping, holding half of the military power of the Northern Kingdom.

Listen! It’s! The! General! Of! Beiping! So cool! So powerful!

Moreover, the Monarch and his subjects are always relatives. This old General is also the maternal grandfather of Princess Yongning!

But this is such an old General, in the original book, he was almost beheaded by the young Emperor! Almost killed by that fool!

Killed!!!

Since ancient times, the most loyal way of death for courtiers was probably by remonstrating with the Emperor or in a life-and-death battle. This old General has been fighting for more than 40 years on the battlefield, and he almost died because of a quarrel with the Monarch.

The plot in the original book probably went like this: the old General came over and scolded the young Monarch. ‘Why are you faint, the treasure has been wasted by you, and you still want to sing and dance everyday, eat, drink and have fun. You’re going to destroy the country! Why are you such a disappointment? I’ll take care of your stupidity in regards to your father, the late Emperor’.

The old General cursed a few words, and the young Monarch was tolerant because of his identity.

But the old General had a violent temper. He scolded the young Monarch for half an hour, and because the Monarch was in a hurry, he sent the General to prison. Sent the highly respected old General to prison!!!

Now, the Imperial Court was in chaos and there was turbulence for a while. Anyway, the young Monarch wasn’t mentally damaged. He calmed down and admitted his wrongdoing, letting the old General go. Then, he left that matter go, feasting every day, keeping his promiscuous and absurd life like nothing happened.

The old General was really angry, damn it all, I don’t care anymore! He walked away and then resigned from office; went back home to the countryside to farm and feed fish.

In this way, the Northern Kingdom lost the old General who was able to stabilize the army and had a high level of military skills.

When Xiao YuAn saw this paragraph, he couldn’t help but sigh in his heart: There’s no other reason for this other than to seek the country’s destruction!!!

Footnotes:

Footnotes

微臣 wēi chén; This small Official/Humble servant.存天理、灭人欲 cún tiān lǐ, miè rén yù; This is 《道德修养目标》(dào dé xiū yǎng mù biāo), “The Goal of Moral Cultivation”, put forward by (程颢 chéng hào) Cheng Hao [1032-1085] and (程颐 chéng yí) Cheng Yi [1033-1107], two famous Confucians from the Song Dynasty [960-1279]. It’s understood as the preservation of the natural principle in the mind and the elimination of private desire: “Benevolence is the principle of heaven, while inhumanity is human desire. Righteousness is the principle of heaven, and injustice is human desire. Loyalty is the principle of heaven, and infidelity is human desire. Filial piety is the principle of heaven, and un-filiality is human desire. Peace of mind is the law of heaven, impetuousness and arrogance are human desires. It means to keep the natural reason and destroy people’s desire“.周公 zhōu gōng; Duke of Zhou [?-1032 BC], founder of the (西周 xī zhōu) Western Zhou Dynasty [1027-771 BC], and is also known as the “God of Dreams.” Zhou Gong is a character who frequently appears in Confucius Dreams. In China, where Confucianism has long dominated culture, Zhou Gong is inevitably directly connected to dreams. Dreams are often called “Dreams of Zhou Gong”, or “Dream Seeing Zhou Gong.”