How To Survive as a Villain

Chapter 196: Yan.

Xiao YuAn wanted to reach out to hug Yan HeQing and kiss him, but his hands couldn’t break free, so he had to softly cry for help: “Yan-ge….”

“Xiao YuAn, I’m willing to wait for you, but could you at least tell me, when you go, for how long do I have to wait for you to come back? A year? A decade? 20 years maybe? Or do I have to stop waiting all together?” Every time Yan HeQing asked a question, his eyes would turn red, but when he asked them, he was trembling with fear.

When Xiao YuAn saw Yan HeQing in a state like this, his heart was filled with remorse and distress. For Xiao YuAn, parting ways with his loved one was just commiting suicide by cutting his throat with a sword. But for Yan HeQing, it was like the sunny days turning white, and the beautiful flowers blooming in March looking disgustingly red1.

After those questions, there was a long silence, and anger gradually engulfed Yan HeQing’s reasoning. As he lowered his head, he gnawed at Xiao YuAn’s nipples. Yan HeQing wanted to tease this man a little more, so that he could understand that everything in front of him wasn’t a dream, letting himself feel that this man had really come back.

Compared to a lovingly type of sexual intercouse, for Yan HeQing, it was more like venting his anger. But Xiao YuAn didn’t want Yan HeQing to be soft to him, because he thought that the sin he committed was deserving of a punishment. He thought that he deserved the roughness.

But after all, it still hurts. Xiao YuAn’s hands were tied and he couldn’t hug or kiss Yan HeQing, so he felt very aggrieved. He wasn’t afraid of pain, and he didn’t think that it was humiliating to be on the receiving end, but he wanted to hug Yan HeQing. After being reborn for so many days, he couldn’t even hug Yan HeQing once.

“Yan-ge, I, I want to hug you…..” Xiao YuAn pleaded in a low voice, his voice was filled with tears and pleading as he said every word while shaking: “Yan-ge, let me hug you….”

After calling at him a few times, Yan HeQing’s sanity came back slightly. Yan HeQing took a light breath as a trace of regret gradually flashed in his eyes. As soon as he withdrew, trying to stabilize his mood and stop hurting Xiao YuAn, Xiao YuAn panicked when he saw him retreat: “Yan-ge, don’t go away Yan-ge. I, listen to me, I….. I never wanted to live for others before…. In my previous life, I lived in hatred for my father and in guilt for my brother, so when I killed myself, I didn’t have any hesitation. But this time, when I cut my throat, I was actually really scared. Yan-ge, I was so afraid, afraid that I couldn’t see you again. I was really scared…..”

Xiao YuAn’s voice was so choked that some words were inaudible, so he had to stop and slow down. After saying all that, tears fell from his eyes as he continued: “Yan-ge, I don’t know how to apologize, or how to compensate you. I won’t mind if you tie me to the bed day and night, you can do whatever you want. I really don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. But, can you at least let me hug you now…..?”

Yan HeQing looked at Xiao YuAn for a moment. Then he slowly stretched out his hand to untie his belt as he lowered his head to kiss the tears falling down Xiao YuAn’s cheeks and rubbed his red wrists. So devoutly, so gently. As soon as Xiao YuAn’s hands were loosened, he immediately put his arms around Yan HeQing’s shoulders. When he felt that man’s body temperature, his breathing and heartbeat, he burst into tears once more.

“Xiao YuAn…..” Yan HeQing said with a hoarse voice: “Don’t leave me again. I can’t stand it anymore…..”

Xiao YuAn, buried in Yan HeQing’s neck, nodded again repeatedly: “I won’t go, I would never leave you again.”

Yan HeQing reached out and cupped Xiao YuAn’s chin, lifted his head, and gave him a tender and loving kiss, which made Xiao YuAn stop crying. Yan HeQing then touched the place where they were connected, but Xiao YuAn felt some shame and stretched out his hand to stop him. At this, Yan HeQing asked: “Does it hurt?”

‘It really hurts, okay?!!’

Xiao YuAn shook his head and stammered in reply: “N-no, it’s fine, it d-do-doesn’t h-hurt.”

Yan HeQing gently raised his eyebrows…..

Then, Xiao YuAn hugged Yan HeQing tightly, grasping his back and begging for mercy: “Yan-ge, slow…. slow down.”

“Mm-hmm.” Yan HeQing kissed the reddened corners of Xiao YuAn’s eyes. Surprisingly, he actually restrained himself and slowed down.

Xiao YuAn noticed Yan HeQing’s tenderness and his heart softened. As he hugged his neck, he said: “Yan-ge, look at me.”

When Yan HeQing looked at Xiao YuAn, he saw how Xiao YuAn curved his eyes and smiled at him: “Yan-ge, I like you so much.”

His appearance was obviously very different, but that smile was so familiar, as well as those warm smiling eyes reflecting Yan HeQing’s figure.

Back then, this was the same smile that dispelled the humiliation and abuse he was put into, melting the ice and snow of the North.

At this point, the thousands of mountains and rivers, the wind and clouds, the flowers blooming in Spring, as well as the everlasting bright moonlight, were no match for that bright smile, the only light of Yan HeQing’s life.

Yan HeQing kissed Xiao YuAn, who was drenched in sweat and whose limbs were lying limply on the bed, and reached out to pull the quilt, tightly wrapping him. Then he dressed himself and went out of the bedchamber to instruct the maids. After a while, a large wooden bucket filled with hot water was sent into the bedchamber. After Yan HeQing called them to go back, he picked up Xiao YuAn, carefully placing him into the hot water, stepped in as well, and cleaned him up.

The wooden bucket was very large, so the two of them didn’t feel cramped at all. However, Xiao YuAn would lazily nest against Yan HeQing’s body, who then gently wiped his body with a towel in the mist of the hot water.

Xiao YuAn rested for a while until he finally recovered his strength, and as he maintained the posture of sitting with his back against Yan HeQing’s chest, he said with a smile: “Speaking of which, Yan-ge I’ve been wanting to ask. When we parted ways that time, if I had taken the white jade hairpin, would you have tied me and taken me back despite everything?”

Yan HeQing didn’t reply and only looked straight at him.

Xiao YuAn thought to himself: ‘I’ve already been tossed around over and over. Now, it’s my turn to tease Yan HeQing, right?’

So, not only did Xiao YuAn not stop, but he also laughed relentlessly, and said: “But, even if you took me back, if I had struggled and begged for mercy, would you have let me go? Yan-ge, you’re always specially afraid of me getting hurt, right? But, the day I was reborn again, someone kicked me directly out of bed. At that time, my forehead was cut open and it even bled, it hurt so badly! My eyes were also blurry with pain.”

Yan HeQing breathed slowly.

Xiao YuAn rubbed Yan HeQing’s lower body and continued: “Later, that same person didn’t want to see me. I complained and cried bitterly, trying my best to see him, since it wasn’t easy to meet with him. But then he grabbed my neck, and almost choked me to death!”

Yan HeQing: “I….. I…..”

It was the first time that Xiao YuAn saw Yan HeQing stammering. He was extremely shocked, but also filled with the pleasure of having successfully teased him without limit. As he reached out his hand, he took Yan HeQing’s hand and placed it on his neck. As he smiled, he said: “Can you help me and take a look at it for me? Do you see any scratches or bruises?”

Yan HeQing felt like he was touching a burning hot iron, and quickly withdrew his hand. But then, he carefully stroked Xiao YuAn’s fair and long neck, where there were still some small scratches and bruises on the skin. Surrounded by the steaming water, Yan HeQing was able to feel the pulse beating in Xiao YuAn’s neck.

Xiao YuAn pretended to sigh exaggeratedly: “Moreover, I was even driven away by that person! And when I think about it, I feel really aggrieved. I should just forget him, leave here and go to the Western Shu Kingdom to live a peaceful life. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea-…..”

Before Xiao YuAn could finish what he wanted to say, he was suddenly lifted by Yan HeQing. As the loud sound of the water moving was heard, Xiao YuAn’s entire body was surrounded by Yan HeQing, pinned against the wall of the wooden bucket. As Yan HeQing placed his arms on both sides of Xiao YuAn, a very narrow space was formed.

Yan HeQing’s chest rose and fell violently as waves of shock surged in his eyes. But in the end, he couldn’t argue or refute Xiao YuAn’s words. He could only hold it back, feeling suffocated and anxious.

Xiao YuAn laughed out loud, pecked Yan HeQing’s mouth, and said: “A day without you is not a peaceful day. Even if you drive me away a hundred times, I will still come back to find you a hundred times more. I don’t want anyone else but you. It can only be Yan HeQing-….. eh?”

While Xiao YuAn was speaking, he suddenly felt a hot spot between his legs. As he reached out his hand, making Yan HeQing retreat, Xiao YuAn laughed: “Yan-ge, are you up again?”

Yan HeQing didn’t say a word, and just when he was about to release Xiao YuAn to solve the ‘issue’ by himself, a pair of legs suddenly wrapped around his waist.

Xiao YuAn smiled and seduced him: “What are you doing? Come here.”

Yan HeQing paused, and said: “You….”

“Me?” Xiao YuAn smiled wantonly: “Are you worried that I won’t be able to stand it? I’m full of energy now, even if we do it several times, I would still stand it! If you don’t believe me, maybe we can try? Yan HeQing, if you don’t hold me now, I’ll run back to the Western Shu Kingdom tomorrow.”

Yan HeQing’s eyes sank as he leaned over and pressed himself against Xiao YuAn.

After that sentence, for the rest of the night, no matter how much Xiao YuAn cried and begged for mercy, he still had to bear with the fierce and unforgiving ‘impact’. In the end, when he was dazed and confused, he could only feel that his insides would regret this in the morning.

XYA, baby, a word of advice… Don’t ask more than you can take! Don’t forget that YHQ is a former protagonist of a stallion/harem novel!! His d*** isn’t normal 🤣

Can we have these two being lovey dovey now please 🥺🥺🥺 (we’re so close to the ending!! Damn!!)

Footnotes

The original is: 一天日色含愁白，三月山花作恶红。yī tiān rì sè hán chóu bái, sān yuè shān huā zuò è hóng. From one of the poems written for the death of the Empress by Emperor Qianlong (乾隆 qián long) [1735-1796] of the Qing Dynasty [1644-1911], she was his first wife and his only love. “The sunny days turned white” meaning that he was so sad that the warm colors of the sun turned pale, representing his grief. “The beautiful flowers blooming in March looked disgustingly red” this represents as if the beautiful scenery of flowers blooming were mocking his broken heart.