How To Survive as a Villain

“Y-your Ma-majesty, what’s wrong with you? Why are you running away? Where are you going?” Hong Xiu panicked and pulled Xiao YuAn who was running around.

Xiao YuAn stopped and looked quietly at her soft hand.

Yeah, where can he go?

Xiao YuAn calmed his mind, stood up, and asked Hong Xiu, “What have you done to him?”

Hong Xiu bites her lower lip and her hands were twisting in front of her belly, finally she bowed her head to answer: “Answering to His Majesty, this maidservant wanted to teach him how to serve His Majesty, but I haven’t had the time to do so; so I had to use the drug first.”

“What about the whiplash?”

“During the curfew, he wandered in Jing Yang Palace without permission, so he was punished.”

“Besides that?”

“Nothing more.”

The situation seems to be saved!! The main issue is how to solve the problem that Hong Xiu keeps wanting to send Yan Heqing to his bed every day.

Xiao YuAn put his hand on his chin, walked back and forth, and after two rounds, stopped. He stood in front of Hong Xiu, pointed to Yan Heqing on the bed and with a serious tone, he said: “Hong Xiu, do you think that I like him?”

Hong Xiu did not hesitate: “You like him because he’s handsome.”

Xiao YuAn turned and lifted the cabinet, then he put it down, then lifted it again, then put it down. When he calmed down, he turned around and shouted to Hong Xiu: “I don’t like him!”

Hong Xiu didn’t understand: “But his Majesty thinks about him day and night.”

Xiao YuAn asked: “Think about it, do I like this type of appearance?”

Hong Xiu was stunned, silently thinking about it. His Majesty really only likes the seductive, gorgeous type. Although Yan HeQing is so handsome to astonish nature, he’s not what His Majesty prefers.

Hong Xiu asked in a small voice: “Then why is His Majesty…”

Xiao YuAn pretends to be deep: “Winning hearts is better than violence1. I’m preparing for another Southern expedition in the future!”

Hong Xiu was shocked, and enlightened: “His Majesty is wise!”

Xiao YuAn said: “When you see me favor him, it’s actually an illusion. I’m just spying on the enemy, so I’m not interested in him at all, and you don’t have to bother to teach him anything.”

Hong Xiu salutes: “This maidservant understands, this maidservant will take him away.”

Xiao YuAn glanced at Yan HeQing, who was sleeping on his bed, and couldn’t bear it, so he blurted out: “It’s so late, forget it, let him sleep here tonight.”

Hong Xiu: “…Your Majesty you really don’t…”

Xiao YuAn interrupts her firmly: “Really! No!”

Xiao YuAn talked a lot with Hong Xiu, he pointed towards the sky and the land around them, he vigorously shouted to observe the moon’s reflection. This ability to talk made Hong Xiu turn from someone skeptical to firmly believing without a doubt.

Xiao YuAn, who persuaded Hong Xiu to leave the palace and suffered various attacks and tortures in one night, could finally rest.

“Ah.” Xiao YuAn sighed, sat beside the bed, leaned against the bedpost, and closed his eyes trying to sort out his thoughts quietly.

After a long time, Xiao YuAn opened his eyes, rubbed his temples and turned his head to look at Yan HeQing. Suddenly, he felt a chill passing through his chest and his blood began to boil.

Yan HeQing didn’t know when he woke up, and his eyes were still bloodshot. At that moment, he glanced at Xiao YuAn with a fierce glare, cruel like a ghost.

She said that you’ll wake up after a good sleep! Fake medicine does harm to you!

As a president…as a president who was once asked to memorize tyrannical quotes, Xiao YuAn’s mind thought of various sentences in an instant.

Say, do you want cash or a check? Anyway, love, I definitely can’t be without you.

Don’t worry, I will be responsible. One million is enough.

Since you have caught my breath, you will be my man all your life, and you will never escape.

Man, did you feel my deep love last night?

President Xiao quickly searched through these golden sentences, and immediately made a final decision. He reached out his hand and pointed out at the window, his expression and his tone were calm: “Look! It’s flying, cough, an airplane!”

That’s right, Xiao YuAn was scared.

While Yan HeQing was still in a daze, Xiao YuAn got up, took a step and exerted force. Just at the moment of his escape, his wrist was grabbed fiercely, making Xiao YuAn fall onto the bed in a mess.

The next second, Xiao YuAn’s neck was tightly held, and he could only scream four big words inside his head.

My life is over!!!

Footnotes:

Footnotes

攻心为上，攻城为下，心战为上，兵战为下 gōngxīn wéi shàng, gōng chéng wèi xià, xīn zhàn wéi shàng, bīng zhàn wèi xiàit; It’s better to attack a person by his/her heart than attack him/her in battle. Firstly, one must not order troops to attack without knowing the hearts or situation of the enemy or an unknown opponent. From《三国志·蜀志·马谡传》(sān guó zhì·shǔ zhì mǎ sù zhuàn), “History of the Three Kingdoms – Records of Shu – Biography of Ma Su”. Written by (陈寿 chén shòu) Chen Shou [233-297 AC], a historian from the Western Jin dynasty [265-316 AC].