I Became the Hero's Bride!

TL: Eevee

Ed: Hungry Panda

TN: Okay, so due to my own personal conflicts over whether to use ‘holy maiden,’ ‘priestess’ or ‘saint,’ I’m just going to primarily call her ‘priestess’ primarily, interchanging with ‘holy maiden’ whenever I need to, if only because ‘holy maiden’ just sounds so damn clunky as a form of address. ‘Priestess’ isn’t much better, but it is so…

Also, ‘pupil’ in this refers to the hole in your eye that lets in light, rather than student.

The time the Priestess’s ‘prayer’ ended. Her retainer carefully opened the prayer hall doors. Priestess-nim. Are you in? From deep inside the room one could hear the rustling of clothes, and eventually an elegant voice came back.

“Come in.”

As the retainer opened the door, a voluptuous silver-haired woman wearing nothing but a white robe over her naked body greeted him. It was the Holy Maiden ‘Orleia.’ Even as the male retainer stared at her dumbstruck she made no moves to hide her body. Rather, she proudly showed off her body like a cat and smiled satisfyingly.

‘Mitohi-nim who watches over us says “do not be ashamed of showing your naked body to others. Rather, it is yourself that lacks confidence.”‘

It was a verse from the holy book ‘Way of the Pupil’ 69:74.(0.5) Unlike her former comrade Eri she wasn’t someone who advocated exhibitionism any and everywhere, but nor did she denounce it. If she had to make a decision, you could say she’d have fun with it. Because like the father of the priesthood and the god of the Great Pupil Mitohi said, she had confidence in herself.

That there was no way that men wouldn’t fall for this body.

“Th, that’s… Ehem. The kingdom has sent a message.”

As if his lower regions were getting uncomfortable, the retainer handed over the message in an awkward stance. Heh? Orleia looked at the envelope marked with the royal seal with interest. If it was the kingdom, that was the country where her ‘darling’ was residing in for now. Such a cold-hearted man. He just scoffed at her confession but when that woman of a prince asked him to stay in the kingdom he stayed in a heartbeat.

Orleia tore the seal with a face more befitting a villainess than a priestess as she venomously said.

“Speaking of which I heard that interesting things happened in that country lately.”

That troublemaker of a king made the prince into a woman and tried to marry her off to darling and a riot occurred because of that. Smirk. As Orleia opened the letter she unconsciously chortled. From what she heard, Prince Clarice became a woman in the end. But just because that was so, there was no reason for it to lead to their engagement. Plus, the opponent was that darling. That darling that, during their demon king subjugation adventures, had fended off countless body attacks(1) and honey traps.

It’s not like engagement was the name of some goblin in the neighbouring hunting grounds and it wouldn’t go through that easily…

‘Wedding invitation. The Otherworldly Hero Minwoo and the kingdom’s Fifth Princess Clarice are set to exchange vows of marriage. As the Hero’s old companion and saviour of the princess, we wish for the Mitohi faith’s White Holy Maiden Orleia to please visit the kingdom and bless their holy matrimony.’

And the world ended right then and there.

*** 𝒇𝘳ℯℯ𝚠𝙚𝑏𝗻𝑜ѵ𝑒𝙡.co𝑚

Hut! Orleia’s eyes snapped open. She looked around and saw she was in the prayer room. Thank goodness. Had she fainted in the middle of offering ‘prayers’. Orleia looked at the pupil mark that symbolised the faith and sighed in relief.

Ahh. O lord Mitohi. How must you try us so. No matter how much you wanted to punish this pig, that kind of low quality dream…

“That wasn’t a dream, Priestess.”

Fucking hell!

“Oh Great Pupil. Oh my goodness….”

The retainer passed another letter to despairing Orleia.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a letter. My lady Priestess dropped it as you were taking the letter out of the envelope.”

Why the heck would you send two letters? Orleia read through the letter, wary of any new disgusting surprises that might pop up. A wicked glint appeared in her eye. Orleia carefully folded the letter and smirked wickedly.

“Could it be… O Mitohi. Is this also your will. Kuk kuk…”(2)

Orleia ripped off her robe. Ignoring the retainer that was shocked at her naked body, Orleia started putting on her underwear and priestess garb that lay folded in a corner of the room.

“I need to meet the Bishop.”

“P, Priestess?!”

Lastly she took the holy sword and was about to hurriedly leave the prayer hall before she stopped and turned back to the retainer.

“You should stay here. You’ve got more pressing issues at hand, no?”

Orleia smirked. Her gaze was aimed directly down below, at the awkwardly standing retainer’s crotch.

Orleia left, and the red-faced retainer could only helplessly grip his crotch.

***

The second letter’s contents were as follows.

To the noble Holy Maiden (性女) who follows the teachings of the the God of Sexuality (性神).(3) As the mother of the princess, I have something to request of you. Currently, even with marriage to the hero right on the horizon, our princess is still ignorant of her nature(gender) as a woman, and at this rate, I fear that there will be difficulties on the first night. Therefore, would it please the Holy Maiden to educate the princess on sexual activity as a woman. Because the princess has only dangerous women of the ‘CLC’ surrounding her, I only have you to rely on. Naturally, I will not be stingy in recompense for your services. Please.

– The Queen

In a nutshell, it meant to help out with Clarice’s sex ed. Having read the message completely, Orleia felt complicated. Stroking the holy sword as she would her own child, Orleia felt so regretful she said.

“Let alone marrying off our holy hero, to ask me to teach the bride sex education…”

The Bishop bit his lip in mortification. To ask the noble Holy Maiden to teach sexual education was no problem. One of the principal tasks that the Mitohi faith that worship the Sexual God (it was said again, that it wasn’t 聖(holy/sacred) but 性 (sexual/gender).) was teaching those that were too shy and/or lacking knowledge of sexual activity proper sex ed.

The real problem was, Minwoo had been acknowledged by the Mitohi faith and was the Divine Hero that had the holy sword bestowed on him. If it was a relationship that ended with just the transferral of the holy sword then this wouldn’t even be a problem. However, throughout the ages, the Mitohi faith took the Divine Hero as the husband of the Holy Maiden. Because one of the prerequisites of being accepted as the divine hero was winning the love of the Holy Maiden.

In other words, the holy sword was physical proof of the love between Divine Hero and the Holy Maiden. However the holy sword was currently in Orleia’s hands. Because as soon as Minwoo had defeated the demon king he had thrown away the sword and returned with Clarice.

Indeed the cold-hearted man. But this farce was now over.

“Do not be so disappointed, my lord Bishop. On the contrary, this is an opportunity.”

“Eh? Opportunity?”

Fufu. Orleia whispered furtively like a cat.

“The pleasure of a woman is several tens of times greater than a man. Do you really think that Princess Clarice, ignorant of all things sexual will be able to withstand it?”

“Priestess. You don’t mean to say…”

The Bishop caught onto Orleia’s evil plan and shuddered. As if a sumptuous feast was laid out before her, she deliciously licked her red lips and said.

“Under the pretense of sexual education, I will make both Princess Clarice’s mind and body mine. Then if darling becomes Princess Clarice’s, then I can just make that princess mine. Because then darling also becomes mine.” f𝒓𝗲𝗲𝒘𝑒𝚋ｎoѵ𝒆𝗹.co𝗺

Quite the dreadful declaration. The Bishop wiped his nose with a finger, deeply moved. That’s our Holy Maiden!

Orleia embraced the holy sword as she imagined Clarice who was no doubt being all love-love with darling, as she slowly opened her eyes.

“Princess. I’ll yield his virginity.”

But-

“His chrysanthemum is mine.”

The lustful Holy Maiden’s eyes blazed.

Author’s Note

I support an erotic comedy that men and women, young and old can all enjoy

(0.5) Ooooof course that line would be from Chapter 69 of whatever book they preach out of

(1) As in the feminine kind, not the wrestler kind

(2) Laughing/evil chucking SFX

(3) Joke lost by pun and lack of translator creativity: Holy maiden (聖女) and ‘sexual/lewd maiden’ (性女) is pronounced the same in Korean, and it’s only when you have the hanja written out you realise they mean two different things. Likewise, the hanja for ‘holy’ is replaced by the same character for ‘adult’ in the hanja for ‘god of sexuality’ as well. Anyone have any suggestions, feel free to comment.

If you’re wondering why I insisted on translating pupil as such instead of something less clunky… go put ‘pupil’ through google translate, target language: Japanese. Wo/men of culture should understand instantly.