I Became the Hero's Bride!

TL: Eevee

Ed: Hungry Panda

‘In one word.’

‘One word?’

‘She’s a pervert.’

‘……Pervert?’

She realised those words were correct.

“Speaking of which, it’s unfair that only Your Highness gets to call me by a nickname? Can I call Your Highness by a pet name as well?”

Hmmm what would be good… Orleia uncurled her finger as she was cutely lost in thought, before she clapped her hands and said brightly.

“Since it’s Princess Clarice, how about Clitoris! Fufu? It’s a really feminine nickname for that’s totally suits Your Highness’s new life as a woman, right?”

It’s too feminine you nutcase! Those words were this close to erupting out of Clarice’s mouth. This was bad. To think that she’d lose her cool this quickly. She was worse than Eri.

“You, oi you! What did you dare call the princess!!”

“Eh? Senyun… could it be, Jea. Lou. Sy?”

“Wh, what?!”

“Don’t worry. That reminds me, I haven’t rubbed your breasts lately. Senyun is at her growth period so I shouldn’t have neglected it. I’m sorry.”

Aaaaghh!! Senyun clutched her breasts and quickly hid behind Clarice. Meanwhile, Orleia’s evil hands(?) didn’t stop at Senyun.

“Eri?”

“Hiiik!”

Ericia had been sneaking away when she shrieked like a little girl, before stiffly turning round to face Orleia. Orleia clapped her hands in Ericia’s direction before she smiled

“Massage. It’s been a while since I gave you one… Your muscles haven’t gotten stiff, right?”

Aaaaaghh!! Ericia covered her body before she swiftly hid behind Clarice. Quiver quiver. Having become a shield for the two of them in an instant, Clarice laughed bitterly as she thought.

Indeed one of Hero-nim’s comrades. She doesn’t disappoint.

In a bad way.

***

Clarice sent out the two people that seemed stricken by PTSD. Rather, ‘escaped’ might be a more fitting word for it. Orleia licked her chops with a wistful gaze. To be honest, it gave Clarice the shivers. Orleia elegantly drank the tea Karina brought out and ogled Clarice.

“Well, spending quality time together with the princess isn’t bad either?”

Clarice was right on edge. Since the two people had disappeared, her perverted words and actions would no doubt be aimed at her. But her fears ended up being unfounded. Orleia’s ‘quality’ teatime passed by surprisingly normally. As if it was obvious, her topic of interest was naturally about Clarice.

Namely, Clarice’s emotions towards Minwoo.

“Then it’s not like you love d… ehem, Minwoo.”

“L, l-l, love?! Ha…. N, no! To think that someone like me could l-l-l, love Hero-nim?!”

Or Clarice’s lingering regrets for her male body.

“So if you could go back to being a man you would as soon as you could.”

“Of course. A woman’s body is really… if nothing else, my breasts keep getting in the way so I just can’t stand it.”

“………..I admit that they’re a massive size.”

Or Clarice’s feelings towards this marriage.

“So this marriage isn’t because you want it.”

“Of course not. That f, huuu… Father’s antics caused things to go in quite the odd direction, leading to the current situation.

Somewhere down the line, Clarice was emptying her heart and telling her everything. Now that she had a chance to talk, she was quite a good conversation partner. Maybe it was simply the class of a Holy Maiden. Then again, there’s no way that the Holy Maiden really would be a pervert. Clarice was relaxed with that thought in mind.

“Then shall we get to the main topic?”

Right until she said those words.

Ah. Clarice let out sound of despair as she despaired. That was it. She remembered it. She remembered it. She went and remembered it. She remembered it. The reason that she was here in the capital. She wasn’t here simply to make peaceful small talk.

Officially, she was the Hero’s former companion, one of the saviours of the kingdom, and the Mitohi faith’s Holy Maiden, here to attend the wedding…

“Now~ It’s time for the long-awaited sex ed time?”

Unofficially, she was also here to teach Clarice sex ed in preparation for the first night, to get Clarice familiar with her female body.

Normally, Clarice’s sex ed would be Madam Wellington’s job as part of bridal training. But-

‘Eh? Teach Her Highness sex ed? S, sex ed meaning seX? Th, th, then, under the cover of sex ed we can to this and that with…! Ho, hoho hohohohhhohohohohohohhohohohohohohhhhh!!!!!”

And she was carted off with excessive blood loss from a nosebleed. From what was revealed afterwards, she too, was a CLC member. Clarice begged the queen that if she had to learn this, at least not from the CLC.

“?”

And so here we were.

Behind Karina leading the way, behind Orleia’s light, jaunty steps as she hummed, Clarice followed behind like a death row prisoner being sent off to the guillotine.

“Then call me if you need anything.”

Having done her part, Karina looked worriedly back at her charge one last time, before she left the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Clarice’s eyes darted around feeling awkward as anything else. It was a fatal mistake to imagine sex ed would be as simple as the theory of ‘where do babies come from?’ Sex ed to a woman on the eve of her marriage, what else would it be but night techniques?

Since becoming a woman, Clarice had not done a single sexual action. Now she’d more or less adjusted to life with a female body, but one step further and she felt that the balance would almost certainly break.

As in, her balance of her gender identity.

“Before we begin, can you promise me something?”

Orleia winked before she cutely wiggled her pinky.

“In the Mitohi faith, we only teach fellow believers of Mitohi. So at the very least, while you’re learning sex ed from me, please be my Sister.”

“……You’re not going to do anything weird, right?”

It was an obvious doubt. Just how on earth would you expect to trust a woman who, with her own mouth, asked to be called Oral because she liked oral?

“Oh my? Such words hurt, you know. It’s just offering ‘prayers’ to Mitohi-nim?”

Prayer… Just that much would be alright. Clarice was none the wiser that Orleia’s tongue had flickered out like a cobra’s.

“Then, should we begin with the sex ed?”

“…Eh?”

Surprise at Orleia’s sudden approach was only an instant, before -poof- Clarice fell back onto the bed.

“?!?!?!”

“Fufu? Don’t be so scared. It’ll all be over as you count the stains in the ceiling.”

You trust me? Having climbed onto her stomach, Orleia smiled seductively as she took off her Holy Maiden outfit.

No. I can’t trust you. She wanted to say.

V(?0?)V

“O, Orleia. Why are you taking off my clothes for sex ed?”

“Because they get in the way?”

“Hu! O, Orleia, why are you groping my breasts for sex ed?”

“Because you need to get used to it?”

“Hiik! O, Orleia… for, sex ed, why are you sucking on it?!”

“Because I wonder if it tastes like cherries?”

“Hwaaah! O, Orleia…. Why are you touching…. Aaahuuuu!”

“Because Your Highness is so pure like a fool?”

“Don’t wanna…… please, stop…”

“Hmmmmmnnn~ So you want me to stop?”

“……….”

“You’re still only cute even if you glare at me. Which reminds me princess, you kept calling me Orleia since earlier. Didn’t I say to call me Oral?”

“……….”

“Eh? What?”

“……….Oral”

“What? I can’t hear you?”

“Oral… Please stop…”

“Hm? You want me to do oral for you? Alright. I’ll serve oral for you?”

“Oi you crazy bitch!!!!!!”

“Kuhuuuk!!!!!!!”

V(?0?)V

Orleia was knocked down by breasts that leapt up to clear her out. Breasts. Springy breasts. It was the breast momentum that Ericia had (forcibly) taught Clarice. To think the day would come that she’d ever be thankful to Eri. ƒ𝚛𝐞𝚎𝑤𝘦𝚋𝓷o𝚟e𝘭.c𝐨𝙢

Orleia staggered up before she spat out blood-streaked spit with a ‘ptooey.’ Maybe it was because she’d thrown away all pretense of affection, but now she seemed out for blood.

“My word… to think you’d actually learned Womb Power… Seems like I need to adjust my plans…”

“You just said plan didn’t you?! Didn’t you?!”

Clarice accused her. No wonder it seemed weird. What kind of sex ed straight out of an ero-doujin was that?!

“Tch. What? What’s with that ‘I’m dirtied~ I can’t be a bride anymore~’ kind of face you’re making?”

Orleia smirked, wiping her mouth. Up till now, Clarice had never…. NOT felt this kind of killing intent, but the third. The first was at Father. Second, Ericia. Now with Orleia, the ‘absolute no answer’ trio had assembled.

And Orleia, the standalone solo top of the absolute no answer trio, glanced over at the clock on the wall.

“Well, that’s alright. It’s time for prayer as well so I’ll let you off the hook.”

“You said let you off just now?! Didn’t you?!”

“Surely not? You probably just misheard vagina~”(1)

“Just call it letting you off….”

With a solemn face, Orleia placed a finger on her lips.

“Shh. Quiet. It’s time for prayer. If Sister continues to make a fuss, then Mitohi-nim will not forgive you either.”

“You’re the one that needs forgiveness first!!”

Ho? Orleia’s eyes glinted.

“Sister. If I recall, you promised? That while you are learning sex ed from me, you shall offer prayer as a believer of Mitohi.”

“凸”

Clarice raised her middle finger without a shred of hesitation. It was a brilliant gesture that she had learned from watching Minwoo and Senyun’s arguments from over their shoulders.

But that was a mistake.

“……Is that so. Then it can’t be helped. I’ll just have to borrow Mitohi-nim’s power to. Punish. My. Bad. Sister.”

Orleia’s smile sent the greatest shiver down Clarice’s spine to date. Clarice thought. Is this woman seriously a Holy Maiden?!

“Turn on MITOHI(O pupil watch over us).”

At the sudden change in mood, as if the balance of power had drastically shifted to one side, Clarice froze.

“Tag(Borrowing the voice of God I command)”

A command that turned the powers of god into reality-

“Female:Masturbation(Teach our Sister the pleasures of prayer).”

At that moment, Clarice realised that she had passed over a very important question. And even if she didn’t want to know the answer, she understood the answer.

The prayer of the Mitohi faith, was……

Author’s note

Onanie(2)

Nani(3)

Just kidding the next episode is a Nobless and it might get just a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinny bit serious!

This was originally a crack comedy but not even the author knows why it turned into an erotic comedy it’s all the holy maiden’s fault throw your rocks at her!

Translator’s Note

Next chapter censored NSFW

(1) semi-KR-homophone – let you off = ??? vagina = ??

(2) Fingering

(3) Do any of us really need a translation for this?