I Can Turn into a Fish

Translator: Aristophaneso Editor: Caron_

The second morning, Chu Xian opened the door excited and full of energy. There were fewer customers in the morning, so he took out his phone to check if anyone was interested in buying online.

Online shopping was so popular now that you could even buy cars online. It was true that two thousand for one fish was expensive, but he believed that people could accept his prices over time and begin to make orders online. As long as there was a first, there would definitely be more and more people willing to buy.

After replying to some WeChat messages, Chu Xian opened his Fast Hands app and checked his video view count. Most people were still just watching out of curiosity but Chu Xian wasn’t worried. Even the lowest view count was 20,000+.

“Since I can stream now, I’ll call myself a streamer too. Haha.” Chu Xian smiled, starting his stream. His whole body appeared on the screen.

Glancing at his handsome appearance, Chu Xian nodded with satisfaction and walked in front of a tank, aiming his camera at the goldfish inside.

With only ten thousand followers, not many people joined his stream – only a dozen or so – but despite his small audience, Chu Xian still spoke very seriously.

The aim of this stream was not to obtain donations but to market his goldfish, so he just stuck with introducing the different goldfish, displaying some of them individually, and answering questions. Gradually, his viewer count grew to over a hundred, and some of them were not far from his shop.

Most ordinary people were also very curious about these expensive goldfish and they asked all kinds of questions; some of them even wanted to bargain.

Chu Xian streamed for about an hour, and when he turned it off, he realized he had more than eight hundred viewers. He nodded in satisfaction.

After ten in the morning, more and more people appeared on Gu Wu Street, and more and more people came to visit his shop. Chu Xian discovered that all those who came to check out his famous shop found out about it on WeChat.

His new guests all looked at the beautiful goldfish, took photos and posted them on social media.

This plague-like publicity was beginning to spread to more and more people.

That day, Chu Xian finished another sale and earned ten thousand RMB. Customers who could afford two thousand for one goldfish were all rich people who wouldn’t just buy one; a fish tank needed at least five or six goldfish to look aesthetically pleasing, so these people always bought more than five.

In three days, counting the fourteen he sold on the first day, he sold 45 goldfish for 90,000 RMB. He was over the moon. The day before, he also had his first online customer who bought five goldfish.

He was confident that soon enough the orders online would exceed the orders in person. At that point, he’d really start raking in the cash.

Xiao Ying was busy because of her internship and hadn’t come over to the shop yet. Chu Xian didn’t tell her how much he had earned and tricked her into thinking the screenshots he posted were for other people – he was planning on giving Xiao Ying a big surprise.

He traded his cheap phone for a washbasin and bought the 5000+ iPhone, a weapon meant for showing off. If you had money but didn’t show off, what was the point in having it? Life was about enjoyment – there’s no place for humility on the king’s road, that’s full of bullsh*t(1)! Do you have brain damage?

When he opened his stream, around three to four hundred viewers joined, and Chu Xian filmed his fish again. His tricks were getting better, and he streamed every time customers came to buy; at first, the viewers thought he was just staging it but as he kept doing it, they could tell it was all real.

He showed off on his stream constantly, especially after making a sale. Even though some people thought he was a little pompous, this way he could develop his business reputation and inform people of his pricing.

At this point, there were increasingly more people coming to his shop every day, and in the evenings, the store was often packed. Even though not many people were willing to buy, his fame had already spread and basically, everyone on the street knew his shop sold precious goldfish.

“Excuse me little bro, are you the boss here?”

Just now, a group of customers came to check the place out; a 40+ man with a large jade ring walked towards Chu Xian.

“That’s right big bro, I’m the owner!” Chu Xian said, raising his head and looking at the middle-aged man, stunned for a moment when he saw the young bodyguard by his side.

“Are these all the goldfish you have?” the middle-aged man asked with a chuckle at Chu Xian’s words.

Chu Xian was dazed for a moment, then a light flashed in his eyes. Smiling, he asked, “How many are you looking for? Could it be that these aren’t enough?”

“Not enough. I need enough fish for a big aquarium and there aren’t enough fish here!” the middle-aged man said with a slight frown. “It’s a shame you don’t have more!”

“Big aquarium? I have more than seventy goldfish here, is that not enough for an aquarium?” Chu Xian’s blood was boiling as he asked with some confusion.

“Not enough. My aquarium is large, meant to be displayed outdoors!” the middle-aged man replied.

“Then big bro, how many do you want?” Chu Xian’s eyes flashed with excitement. 𝗳𝒓𝚎e𝚠𝒆𝐛𝐧𝐨v𝚎Ɩ.co𝓶

“Oh? Can little bro get more of these top quality goldfish? I need around a hundred and fifty,” the middle-aged man said after some thought.

“I can get them! All my goldfish come from a friend overseas who owns high-tech fish farms. Even though this quality of goldfish is rare, I can get enough for you!” Chu Xian answered with a shine in his eyes.

“That’s great. When will you be able to get these goldfish?” the middle-aged man said with some anticipation and excitement.

“Two days. Two days should be enough.” Chu Xian lied – in truth, he could remold this quantity of goldfish in one night, but in order to not arouse any suspicion, he said two days.

“Okay, two days. I hope you can stop selling your goldfish for now. When the time comes, even if you have a dozen or so extra I’m willing to take them.” The middle-aged man nodded and continued speaking, “Of course, I can pay you a deposit right now, is that okay?”

“That’s fine. Absolutely!” Chu Xian pressed down the excitement in his heart and hurriedly nodded.

“Good. Then I’ll pay you a hundred thousand as a deposit, and in two days I’ll send someone to pick up the fish,” the middle-aged man nodded.

“Okay big bro. I promise I’ll have at least one hundred and fifty goldfish in two days, and their quality will be top-notch!” Chu Xian assured solemnly, and after a bit of hesitation, he tentatively asked, “Does big bro need any large ornamental fish?”

“Large ornamental fish? Of course! I checked the Yu Bao(2) market today but the only large ornamental fish there were tropical fish that can’t be put in the same tank as goldfish, so I was just about to check some other places.” The middle-aged man nodded.

“I can get some large ornamental fish as well. Does big bro want to take a look?” Chu Xian said while tightening his fists, holding in his excitement. 𝗳𝒓𝙚e𝓌e𝚋𝙣𝚘𝐯𝙚𝙡.𝑐૦ｍ

“Sure.” The middle-aged man was silent for a while. “But I need to check their quality and if they’re no good, I’m not interested!”

Translator’s Thoughts

Aristophaneso

(1)- So funny note. The actual phrase is狗屁 = dog fart. Native English speakers have probably never noticed how strange the term bullsh*t is. This is another situation where Chinese is the superior language. Obviously, bullsh*t can be used as fertilizer, whereas a dogs fart has no use. Chinese > English, QED.

(2)- The YuBao place that the yellow lip fish auction took place at in Chapter 3.