I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

Upon returning to the living room, the team members were talking about the incident with serious expressions.

“Even if we investigate more about Kim Kyung-wook, who we found out this time… In the end, nothing changes.”

“Only the connection with the Praus Cult has become clear.”

Min Ah-rin nodded her head with a gloomy expression at Park Geon-ho’s lamentation. Woo Seo-hyuk, who organized the laptop, also agreed and opened his mouth.

“Unless there’s a way to catch the transaction behind the gate, it seems difficult to directly block the Praus Cult.”

“It’s practically impossible because… there’s no a certain pattern. We can’t identify all those gates either.”

“If we get information about Kim Kyung-wook, we will find out more about the gate that was targeted.”

While everyone was exchanging words one by one, Cheon Sa-yeon sat quietly with an expressionless face. The way he stared at the turned off TV with his chin on his backhand was so different from usual that I wondered what to do with him.

‘Well, it was to the extent that Ha Tae-heon noticed it…’

I was thinking of going to the representative office later to find time, but I thought we should talk right away. First of all, the situation should be sorted out to send out people other than Cheon Sa-yeon.

“There’s nothing we can do right now, so the meeting ends here. Ha Tae-heon-ssi will send us the data within today. Let’s meet again tomorrow if there’s a problem after seeing that.”

“That would be better.”

“Yi-gyeol-ssi. It’s dinnertime soon, shall we all go out and buy something delicious?”

“That’s right. It would be a pity to just disperse like this just because the meeting is over.”

“No, I…”

After hesitating for a moment at Min Ah-rin’s suggestion, I said it without hesitation, as it seemed that there was nothing to hide.

“I will spend some time with Master Cheon Sa-yeon.” (천사연 마스터와 따로 시간 좀 갖겠습니다)

“……!”

Hearing my words, Min Ah-rin was surprised. Not only Min Ah-rin, but the other people behind her also looked at me with a look of surprise. Among them was Cheon Sa-yeon.

What was this reaction? I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Is this something to be so surprised about?”

“Um, uh, a little bit?”

“I just want to have a chat.”

“Then we should all stay out…?”

“Of course… No, this is my room.”

“I don’t think it’s been an hour since I came in. You want us to go because you want to talk… That’s too much.”

“Can’t you two go into the bedroom and talk? Or Hyung, we’ll go into the bedroom and wait.”

“Please everyone get out.”

Why was it really that hard to have a conversation with just one person? I kicked Kim Woo-jin and Park Geon-ho out the front door, who had eyes full of regret.

“I’m so sorry about this. I guess our Yi-gyeol just wants to have dinner with me alone.”

I felt sorry to have turned a blind eye to the people who were already excited to have dinner together, but Cheon Sa-yeon started to tease the team members who were kicked out.

“Please be quiet.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t care, but he always added one word at times like this.

“Ha, Han Yi-gyeol. I’ll be waiting in my room, call me when you’re done. Got it?”

“Yi-gyeol-ssi, I’ll buy you something delicious. See you later!”

After dealing with the people who were holding up to not get out, I looked back and saw Cheon Sa-yeon smiling with his arms crossed.

‘Crazy, annoying.’

I was annoyed when I saw his slightly raised mouth as if he was going to die of fun.

He seemed obviously depressed until just now? Could it be that Ha Tae-heon and I misunderstood? Cheon Sa-yeon, that bastard was just blankly thinking about something else while watching the TV screen that was turned off, but I thought Ha Tae-heon and I misunderstood him as a quick guess.

“……”

“……”

I stood in front of the closed front door and stared at Cheon Sa-yeon. The guy also smiled and didn’t avoid my gaze.

I can’t. Let’s kick him out.

“You go out, too.”

“Didn’t you say we should takk?”

“I don’t think we need to talk anymore.”

“Stop joking around and come in quickly.”

“……”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who laughed, turned his back first and went back to the living room.

Who said it was a joke, I’m really serious. I felt at a loss in this situation.

When I went back to the living room in a sulky state, Cheon Sa-yeon patted the seat next to him while sitting on the sofa in an elegant posture. I ignored that and sat on the sofa to the right.

I still haven’t forgotten the shameless behaviour Cheon Sa-yeon did to me on the sofa in the representative office. That no conscience bastard. I won’t sit next to him no matter what.

Cheon Sa-yeon, who looked at me with a strange look for a while as I was avoiding the seat next to him, spoke first.

“What are you trying to say? Is there any problem?”

“That’s what I’m going to ask.”

I asked Cheon Sa-yeon again who didn’t understand.

“What’s the problem?”

“Problem? Me?”

“Your expression looked bad the whole time you were watching the video. It was worse after it was over.”

To be honest, it was right after it became clear that the behind-the-scenes transaction was the work of the Praus Cult.

I thought I had figured it out quite accurately, but Cheon Sa-yeon tilted his head without the slightest change in expression.

“Well. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?”

“I think you misunderstood. I was just thinking about the connection between the guys in the video and the Praus Cult.”

My eyes narrowed at the answer that was different from what I expected. If I asked first, I thought he would admit it to some extent even if it was difficult to be honest…

‘Are you trying to pretend you’re not?’

I clicked my tongue inwardly, thinking about how to deal with this. My head hurt even more because Cheon Sa-yeon was someone who would never fall for it with any words.

After counting as many cases as possible, I stood up. Cheon Sa-yeon, who was quietly watching, followed me.

“Go to the side.”

“……?”

I patted Cheon Sa-yeon’s leg and sent it to the edge of the sofa. I pushed himself into the corner of the sofa and sat down with my butt next to him. I could never beat him with strength, so I should give him some psychological pressure.

Cheon Sa-yeon, who had become somewhat uncomfortable in the extremely narrow seat, opened his mouth with a slightly embarrassed look.

“What is this…”

“Now, answer me again. Did I really misunderstand?”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who blinked with a puzzled expression, soon pushed his face toward me with a strange smile.

I blocked Cheon Sa-yeon’s mouth with my hand as he slowly got closer to me with the intention of kissing me like the last time.

“Wait. I didn’t sit next to you for this.”

“No?”

Of course not…

“Cheon Sa-yeon, listen carefully.”

Swallowing a sigh, I grabbed Cheon Sa-yeon’s cheek with my hand that had covered his mouth.

“I grabbed you to have a serious talk.”

Cheon Sa-yeon’s eyes, seen from a close distance, widened slightly as if surprised.

“I will ask you one last time. Were there really any problems during the meeting earlier? Is it all my misunderstanding?”

“……”

The smile slowly faded from his face. The mask he had been forced to wear was gone and the expression on his face looked very bitter.

“…you’re uselessly quick to notice it.”

I also smiled bitterly at the muttering of dissatisfaction.

“Do you think I was the only one who noticed? Ha Tae-heon-ssi said something to take care of you first and left.”

“Oh, my.”

Cheon Sa-yeon frowned and sighed, perhaps not knowing that Ha Tae-heon would have noticed.

“Then I made a mistake.”

“Why call it a mistake?”

I also naturally wrinkled my eyebrows.

I couldn’t help but feel upset at Cheon Sa-yeon’s definition of being caught out as a ‘mistake’.

“You don’t have to hide it anymore. At least to me.”

It wasn’t just because I knew Cheon Sa-yeon’s past. The time when I had a conversation with Cheon Sa-yeon alone after reading the book, I felt that I was more deeply connected with Cheon Sa-yeon than ever before.

I thought that we could show them to each other even the private parts that couldn’t be easily shown to others.

“Am I… the only one who misunderstood that?”

That was because we had a lot of similarities and understood each other’s circumstances. That’s why Cheon Sa-yeon’s attitude of trying to hide it from me was honestly disappointing.

In the calm questioning voice, the sadness that couldn’t be removed was buried. Cheon Sa-yeon must have felt that as well, so he put on a confused expression and slightly lowered his eyelids. His black eyes were covered by the shadows created by his long eyelashes.

“I…”

After being silent for a long time, Cheon Sa-yeon cautiously opened his mouth.

“I’ve been living like this for too long.”

“……”

“There was nothing good about struggling with something that couldn’t be explained.”

Cheon Sa-yeon lived through time over and over again. He had no one to share the painful memories of colliding with the Praus Cult and he had to deal with it alone.

“I’ve got a bad habit.”

Cheon Sa-yeon tilted his head slightly and leaned his face on my hand.

“You’re not mistaken, Yi-gyeol-ah.”

He slowly closed his eyes and opened them. Cheon Sa-yeon, who confessed his true feelings, looked so exhausted that even the simple act of blinking his eyes was difficult.

I brought out the question I wanted to ask Cheon Sa-yeon from a while ago.

“What are you most afraid of?”

“…all.”

Cheon Sa-yeon’s upper body tilted slowly. He leaned his forehead on my shoulder and whispered lowly and harshly.

“I’m afraid that I will lose everything.”

“……”

A sad feeling welled up in my throat. I swallowed it with difficulty and hugged Cheon Sa-yeon’s back.

It was so happy and fun to be with everyone. That’s why it was so afraid.

This imperfect happiness might end in an instant. With this insignificant power, it could be damaged to the extent that it could neither be saved nor restored.

The ground on which we stood was very unstable. If Kali turned back Cheon Sa-yeon’s time right now, everything would disappear from the world without leaving a trace.

I would die without being able to enter Han Yi-gyeol’s body and Cheon Sa-yeon would face the crumbling world alone. He must live without dying, with his reason and emotions consumed by despair.

Even in the midst of chatting and laughing together, Cheon Sa-yeon was dragged into the hell alone. For Cheon Sa-yeon, who had already gone back in time dozens or hundreds of times, that future wasn’t a vain imagination, but a reality that could come even tomorrow.

“It’s okay.”

Ha Tae-heon told me to comfort Cheon Sa-yeon, but… I wasn’t confident. I didn’t know what comforting and helpful words were.

So I swore instead.

“It will be fine.”

It will definitely happen.

No matter what, I will make it happen.