Chapter 254 Accept

Kairos sat down for a little while longer, taking a deep breath. While he didn't really want to, he decided to think about more of his defining experiences that he hadn't truly thought of before.

So he thought deeper into it, trying to recall anything he could.

And eventually, he did.

For whatever reason, he was standing on a rather dirty road, one worn down by a lot of rain. Kairos could just barely make out various neon lights around him at the very edges of his vision. However, his attention instead appeared to be focused on what was in front of him.

A set of stairs that went down, as for where it led to, that part was unclear.

There was a strange compulsion he had. An overabundance of energy, that made his very hands twitch rather violently.

After a little while of standing there, he went down the steps. They weren't particularly big steps, but his small body made it a bit awkward to go down. And when he did eventually went down to the bottom. He pushed open one of the doors rather confidently.

Inside, was a messy bar that appeared to belong to a gang, with everyone there including the bar wearing similar shirts and with tattoos on them. A few people were having a few drinks while others were smoking in a corner. All of them held an intimidating air. Even the one that appeared weakest out of them had bulked up several times more than the average person.

One that appeared to be a leader, or at least one that had authority turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"Eh? What are you doing here kid? You shouldn't be here. Go back home."

In response, Kairos tilted his head to the side and smiled.

"Do you know what it means to be a bad person?"

The guy he was speaking to let out a chuckle and crossed his arms.

"What are you talking about? Come on, if you're too scared to go home on your own, then I'll walk with you to lead the way."

He uncrossed his arms to reach out with one hand, and Kairos similarly reached out with his own. As he did so, he spoke under his breath.

"See... I think a bad person is one that goes out of his way to hurt innocent people."

The man raised an eyebrow and leaned in.

"What did you sa-"

A snap resounded.

Followed by-

"AAAAAAAHHH!"

As for Kairos, he had a wide smile on his face. He had snapped a finger, before diving forth and biting down on an ear, pulling so hard that he ripped it off.

Immediately, all the other gang members suddenly had a shift as they looked at the kid seriously. They got up, with some of them bringing out their weapons.

"Hey, stop that!"

"What the hell is wrong with this kid?"

"Shit, just deal with him for now!"

Initially, Kairos was having an easy time, with most of them still treating him as a kid and not too seriously. However, he easily maimed and cracked the bones of several of them. At this point, weapons got involved, but it was still mainly knives.

Yet, he was able to dodge most of the swings and continue his spree, going as far as to directly kill some of them. The few that did hit him only left shallow cuts on his skin.

It did not take long before shots were fired. This was not dodged, as a bullet hole suddenly formed on the side of his chest. And yet, he wasn't stopped anyway and continued killing and maiming and...

Kairos realized something was wrong.

This wasn't actually his memory. He was nowhere near this violent as a kid, at most he was just a curious person that felt a little lonely. He can't even recall a time he had gone to a city before, he spent the grand majority of his life in the suburbs.

While there was a time he did go a little too far, it was a very special moment when he was a bit older as well.

While he couldn't clearly recall them, it seemed that he had other memories that didn't belong to him that were buried in his subconscious.

It appeared that whoever's memory this belonged to was the reason for his previous bloodthirsty state. Not to mention, whoever this person was, they were rather horrifying in their own right.

From what Kairos could remember, the person didn't have any superhuman strength. Perhaps only above average for his age. However, his decisiveness exceeded that of a veteran. Even veterans would make certain mistakes related to survivorship bias, such as being too reckless sometimes when they weren't punished for it before.

But it was hard to find a single fault with the way the kid moved, at least from a combat perspective.

While the strength itself might've not been supernatural, his capabilities definitely were, whether they were instincts or incredibly quick processing. Above all, it was his confidence and lack of hesitation that might've been the most crucial factor.

In the end, while Kairos was still concerned about himself, he was now very interested in these memories. One thing that he could ever so slightly feel in that memory, despite it being filled with incredibly large amounts of energy and excitement, was a lull.

One that hung in the air existing ever so slightly, never ebbing or flowing from that state, Instead, it simply existed, as though it was above everything else. This same sensation was quite familiar to him when he recalled another memory like it.

Considering it was several times worse for this person when he became older, it was something that slowly built up over time.

Until eventually, he became a monster.

Kairos set that memory aside, acknowledging it as someone else's. Whether that would actually help him at all, he did not know. However, it was something that he was willing to try.

That led him to do additional searching through his own memories.

It was strange to do something like this, when it was so immaterial, but after doing it so many times, it became far easier than the first time. The others had already gotten up and began walking, so he followed after while still digging through his mind.

Eventually, he was able to find more memories of the same person, distinguished by the ever present feeling of lethargy in the air.

Practically all of them were miserable memories, ones where despite him putting the effort to be friendly, it never worked out for one reason or another. Whether it was his fault, their fault, or nobody's fault at all. The man was probably the unluckiest person in the world.

Most of the encounters, at least in the memories he found, were all rather bad. Essentially a person that was never truly anybody, and it wasn't simply the world's fault either.

But not once did Kairos see this person in question ever falter. While they had some violent tendencies that they acted upon too much, they were always trying to find a world where he could be allowed to be a normal person. 𝙗𝒆𝒅𝒏𝙤𝒗𝒆𝙡.𝙤𝒓𝙜

Unfortunately, that would not be their fate, given the first memory Kairos had of them.

After understanding more of that person, Kairos did have a genuine feeling that he had become more or his own person. However, something strange he noticed was that this feeling of another person hadn't really gone away, but rather become stronger.

To put it more accurately, it was as though he had pulled himself into two pieces, one which was himself for the most part, and the other which was that person. He felt that if he tried, he could easily let that personality take over, for better or for worse.

Though realistically, that didn't sound like the best of ideas considering how reckless it was and the injuries it cost last time.

While Kairos wasn't sure if this was what he was supposed to be doing, it seemed to be working. So he continued on even further. This time it was considerably harder, since it appeared that his streak came from digging into the same person's memories.

Eventually, the others stopped in front of a room and went in. He didn't follow, as that was what they agreed upon earlier.

After he finally did stop though, it seemed he was finally able to find another memory.

This time, it was of a man working in a rather dim room. Kairos found him familiar, but couldn't really put his finger on why. The man himself was rather skinny, but not to the point that it appeared unhealthy.

In fact, he would be considered to be traditionally handsome by most.

As Kairos got a better look at the place, he saw bars in the distance suggesting that this was a prison. However, he felt like that would be the wrong conclusion to come to when he saw the rather personalized desk the man was sitting at, with a variety of used tools next to him.

If nothing else, the man himself didn't appear to feel like a prisoner.

He was leisurely drawing onto a blueprint. It was incredibly well made, with clean straight and professional lines. Neat numbers were appended, such as the degrees of certain angles, or labels to clarify which parts were referring to what. It was clear that he was very familiar with creating a design.

However, upon closer look one would see that it was the design for a fantastical castle. The kind of thing that a kid would draw and dream up, but far more shabbily. The man had a small smile on his face, and suddenly spoke up.

"So, you're here to understand yourself better."

After hearing his voice, Kairos immediately figured out who he was. It was the one that originally led him in the right direction when the pain was too much for him to focus properly.

The man let out a chuckle.

"If you truly wish for that, then stop looking here. You must first accept what you do know about yourself before any progress can be made."

A small smile was on his face.

"After all, if you can't accept yourself, then you will never be able to understand it either."

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