I Should Have Just Died

Alyssa doesn’t know if she can come here. She wondered what to do if no one greeted her. She was unsure if she could put herself in Cambridge’s misfortune.

Alyssa, criticizing her own lack of courage, moved her feet.

The butler didn’t bother to ask Alyssa where she was going. There was nowhere in this mansion that Alyssa could not go. Alyssa gasped for her breath as she walked.

Bang-

It was Seidrick’s bedroom that she opened a little roughly.

Alyssa took a deep breath in her and exhaled it.

Isn’t it the place where the traces of Seidrick remain the most? She thought it would be a little better if she stayed here, so she hurriedly ran like this. Alyssa bit her lip.

It was because the tears, which she had been holding back, were about to flow without her knowing.

“Madam….”

“Can I stay here?”

“You don’t have to ask me.”

“Thank you. I want to be alone.”

“I’ll step back.”

“The handmaidens are waiting outside now. Can you tell Sasha to take care of them?”

When Alyssa entered the royal palace, Sasha was left in the mansion.

Sasha said she wanted to go to the castle after her master. She wanted to protect her in the future as she had protected her before. It was Alyssa who persuaded Sasha. She had asked Sasha to stay in the mansion and pass on the news.

“Yes, madam.”

The butler resigned, and Alyssa closed the door.

Everything was the same.

Just like before Seidrick left.

How does she know when she’s never been here?

Here, the traces of Seidrick were completely buried. Just like the office he used to use. Like his personality, he was neat and tidy. And some of the books she had seen in his office were also on the bookshelf of his bedroom.

Alyssa slowly stepped her foot in.

“Seidrick. Excuse me for a moment.”

Alyssa ambled as if asking for permission through the air of the unoccupied room.

She looked around Seidrick’s room. There seems to be a smell of Seidrick everywhere. The two had never had a proper contact.

Just once.

On that rainy day, only once.

It was not long after Kendrick returned to the mansion.

It was then that Alyssa first touched Seidrick.

They faced each other, not as a married couple, so they were afraid to even touch her fingertips. It was raining, and Alyssa slipped. Perhaps it was fate for the two of them.

The events of that day when she was supported in the arms of Seidrick came to life vividly.

The first time he hugged her, his arms were firm.

Unlike Alyssa’s soft flesh. His muscles were tight, and the arm that made her recline held Alyssa’s soft body. Unlike Alyssa, who enjoys a soft and subtle scent, Seidrick had a heavy oak scent. And the scent was coming from this bedroom now.

Alyssa ran her eyes and hands over Seidrick’s traces.

Tears began to flow unknowingly and wet Alyssa’s face.

Transparent tears ran down Alyssa’s chin.

“…Seidrick…”

She didn’t know she would be so sad even if she called an unanswered call. Alyssa sniffed her nose.

Alyssa sat down at the table occupying the middle of the bedroom.

“Haa.”

Alyssa’s lips trembled.

She could see the cattails adorning Seidrick’s desk. It was like Seidrick. However, it was a little strange that there were many wrinkled and stretched marks left, and it was dirty.

Alyssa seemed to tickle it with her fingertips.

He will now be walking alone in fear. He is anesthetized. What was Seidrick thinking before he fell asleep?

Will he pray for his life?

How scared was he?

That hand, at least once. If she had caught him at least once before he left, she wouldn’t be as heartbroken as she is now. Alyssa’s heart ached because it is always late to regret, and many words are stuck in her heart.

All the good things are gone, and only the things Alyssa couldn’t do to Seidrick remain.

“Come back alive, Seidrick.”

Alyssa’s voice trembled.

“Come back to me…”

Don’t get sick and be healthy.

While Alyssa was alone in pain, Seidrick went through a similar hardship. Because of the Avery royal family.

Alyssa rubbed her face in a mess with her palms.

Stupidly, she just realized now.

She seemed to understand now why she had to come here.

Her love didn’t end there.

The love she thought had been insulted by Seidrick’s lies, and deceit remained with Alyssa.

Alyssa was unable to leave and stayed here because of Seidrick.

Alyssa couldn’t just ignore Seidrick and leave.

Because she loved him too.