I Should Have Just Died

The Cambridge family laughed and chatted the whole time before returning home.

So with Juliana.

‘I had promised myself that I would never turn my head to the royal palace after Kendrick was gone that way. But now it seems to be fine. This place isn’t all that bad either. Yes?’

‘Yes, mother.’

She said so.

‘It’s a place you’ll have to stay for a while. If I hate the royal palace, it won’t be good for you either.’

It was like the unconditional affection that parents give to their children. It means that she will give up her hatred for Alyssa’s sake.

Of course, the reason they were able to laugh lightly was probably that the date of Seidrick’s return was set.

Seidrick finished his last chemo treatment perfectly.

According to Alyssa’s recommendation, he completed all schedules without giving up in the middle or returning. She was told it was intensive chemotherapy.

Except for eating and sleeping, Seidrick had to endure a course of medication and magical treatment.

All of this was delivered by Pauline.

One day, Pauline began to periodically send Alyssa letters.

All of Pauline’s letters ended with the same sentence.

[So can you not leave, Duchess? His Excellency is working hard on your treatment. With hopes to see the Duchess again. So please reconsider one more time.]

Similar kinds of sentences were piled up.

Pauline seemed to want to keep Alyssa from leaving, even if it only stimulated her guilt.

In a cute way too.

Alyssa put the letter box on the table.

Seidrick will be back soon.

Unlike when he left, he overcame all his ailments in a healthy state.

Alyssa scanned the letter with her hand.

Only a few months old, the box was full of letters. It was proof that Seidrick had never forgotten Alyssa for a moment. And it was also something that reminded her of Seidrick’s existence. He was constantly whispering.

I’m here.

Please don’t forget me.

Please wait for me as promised.

Although the language was different, all the words were the love from Seidrick towards Alyssa and the confession of his heart. It was Seidrick’s sorrow, who could not let Alyssa from his heart for even a single moment.

Alyssa pulled out the letter with the most stains on it.

Sometimes, words that cannot be conveyed in words through paper were conveyed like this.

Between the sentences, there were tears and Seidrick’s heart.

Even breathing.

Alyssa opened the letter.

[Today is a really nice day.

It’s a nice day today, so I think of you. Alyssa likes to walk in the garden, so I’d love to go for a walk too. I hope that one day I will be able to stand naturally next to you when you go out for a walk.

It rained yesterday.

It was raining so much that the windows rattled.

It was a bad day, so I remembered you. Do you remember the rain we were in together? It must have been shortly after Kendrick returned to Cambridge. I felt nothing, neither the cold rain nor the cold. Because I was looking at you, Alyssa, and only contained you.

Your eyes, your gestures, your words, and even your scent.

I remember everything.

And they said there will be thick fog tomorrow.

You used to like to walk around the lake on a foggy day. You like the faintly scattering color of the water like it was filled with tears. I didn’t understand what you were saying at the time. I couldn’t see well in the fog and it was difficult to walk, but I didn’t know what was good. But, now I think I know.

It’s like seeing you through the haze of fog, even if it’s my fantasy.

In fact, I’m thinking of you, whether the weather is good or bad.

I think of you every moment.

To write such an embarrassing confession….

It must be because my heart, which suddenly burst as if a dam had collapsed, was lost. Alyssa, I want to see you.

I still dream of daily life with you.

And I hope you do too.]

He didn’t say love.

However, Alyssa felt love in the small letters and the sweet and candid writings.

A person with whom she will spend every day of her life.

Sharing someone’s daily life.

Seidrick has already given Alyssa his daily routine.

Now it was Alyssa’s turn.