I Trick Even the Lames to Stand Up for Me

Translator : KuroShinji

TL Checker & Editor : SilentDawn

Editor & Proofreader : Mariabel

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Chapter 16 Gods kill Gods, ghosts kill ghosts

In a private hospital with a quiet environment and tight security, Zhao PengYu laid quietly on a bed, looking as if he was asleep. The Zhao Family was in a crazed state. This hospital was theirs and the doctors here could be said to be second to none in the country. Still, they couldn’t figure out what Zhao PengYu’s illness was.

Even Zhao PengYu’s mother, a very powerful woman, was distraught at the moment. With a pale face, she said to her husband, “Is there something wrong with the thing he picked up last night? I want to find a Master to see if there’s anything wrong with it.”

Her husband frowned. “Even the doctors don’t know what’s going on. What’s the use of looking for a Master? Don’t delay the treatment of our child with these mysterious practices and whatnot.”

Mrs. Zhao pursed her lips and struggled to come up with an answer for a bit. Remaining focused on medical treatment was the logical thing to do, but for some reason, her intuition told her that the thing her son picked up last night was dirty and that there was definitely something wrong with it.

At this moment, a young nurse came up to them, holding something in her arms. Mrs. Zhao anxiously asked, “Nurse, did the doctor figure out the illness?”

The young nurse respectfully said, “The doctors are still discussing it, and I believe they will have an answer soon. In addition—,” The nurse paused before handing them something wrapped in a white pillowcase. “We know that you’re worried, but this kind of feudal superstition is really useless. We should believe in science.”

Mrs. Zhao opened the wrapping with a puzzled expression before immediately turning to her husband, who was equally as surprised as her.

It was that thick pouch of paper joss money! Their housekeeper had already thrown it away!

When Zhao PengYu brought the pouch home last night, Mrs. Zhao had already felt that there was something wrong with it, so she had told the housekeeper to throw it away since it looked ominous. Maybe someone had wanted to sweep a tomb or something, and they dropped it in the rain. It was just that these joss paper money looked too much like RMB bills that Zhao PengYu mistook them for one. It was dark at that time too. But how could this paper money that had already been thrown away be here right now?

Zhao ZhiFeng asked the nurse with a cold expression, “Nurse, where did you find this?”

The young nurse saw the couple’s face and finally realized that something was unusual. She answered with a pale face, “Under Young Master Zhao’s pillow.”

Zhao ZhiFeng went to the bodyguard at the door and asked, “Who went in yesterday?”

The bodyguard shook his head and answered seriously, “No one was allowed to enter other than the doctors and nurses.”

“Check the surveillance cameras to see if there was anyone who snuck in!” Zhao ZhiFeng commanded angrily.

The result was, no one had!

The couple looked at each other and saw the strangeness and severity of the situation in each other’s eyes. After throwing it away last night, Zhao PengYu became feverish and was sent to the hospital. The doctor couldn’t figure out what the illness was, and now, the pouch that their housekeeper had thrown away magically appeared under their son’s pillow. Mrs. Zhao’s expression sank and her hesitating mind turned firm. “I’ll find a Master to take a look at him.”

Zhao ZhiFeng’s expression was ugly, but he still had a hard time believing in such a supernatural occurrence. “I think someone is deliberately playing a trick on us. Let’s check first, and then we’ll talk.”

“Let’s be as efficient as possible. We’ll find a Master to take a look, but we won’t delay his treatment either.” Mrs. Zhao refuted strongly. “You stay here and tell the doctors to quickly check on him. I’ll go find a Master.”

Just like this, Mrs. Zhao invited more than a dozen Masters by borrowing her father’s name and contacts. After looking at Zhao PengYu’s condition, all the Masters shook their heads and said regretfully, “His soul has already engaged in a marriage bond. If we were to bring his soul back, it will inevitably injure his soul.”

“Yes, there’s no easy way to solve this. Even if we saved his life, his soul will be incomplete. He will either have severely diminished mental capabilities or be vegetative for the rest of his life.”

Mrs. Zhao trembled, and she took a deep breath before saying in a voice that still couldn’t hide her tremor, “Even if he becomes vegetative, it doesn’t matter. Just save his life.”

The people looked at each other and could only try it with gritted teeth.

Wang MingHai, a famous respected Master in the metaphysics circle said, “There must be a medium for this sort of bond. Did the Young Master pick up something?”

Mrs. Zhao tiredly pointed at the pouch full of joss paper money, “He picked up this pouch.”

Wang MingHai’s expression instantly turned ugly. “This object has a strong Yuan Qi!”

“The Sha Qi is too heavy!” Other masters also followed with their eyes wide in shock.

A female psychic medium Master was present and she suddenly felt a horrifying presence. Her body shivered, her complexion turned pale, and her features twisted in pain before falling to the ground. She then proceeded to scratch the floor with her nails, breaking them and bled all over the floor. The Masters all around her were surprised, before the one nearest knocked her out with a hand chop to her nape.

All the Masters’ expressions changed, and Mrs. Zhao asked nervously, “What happened?”

“Zuo Yun can sense and feel a ghost’s experience at the time of their death,” Wang MingHai said with an ugly expression, “The ghost died too painfully and their resentment is too heavy, so Zuo Yun was affected.”

Wang MingHai took out a dagger made of copper coins, bit his finger, and smeared his blood on the dagger before using all of his strength and stabbing the dagger upwards. After being stabbed a few times, the joss paper money on the table shook, and a black mist rose from it before rushing fiercely towards the copper coin dagger. Master Wang shook his hand and the dagger flew towards the black mist before being scattered by the force on the ground.

Wang MingHai’s complexion turned as pale as paper.

The other Masters’ expressions were grave. Their expertise was not suitable for this situation, and now that the Gui Qi was so heavy in the daylight, they dared not act rashly.

After seeing these Masters off, Mrs. Zhao also invited other Masters. But after hearing what happened to both Zuo Yun and Wang MingHai, they also didn’t dare to act.

For several days, Zhao PengYu was transferred to other hospitals three times. His family also invited some doctors from abroad, but he still didn’t wake up. His parents were desperate. Noon on the third day, the doctors told them that if Zhao PengYu still couldn’t wake up in the near future, even if he’s lucky, he would forever remain in a vegetative state, but if he’s not lucky, then his parents need to be mentally prepared.

Mrs. Zhao finally broke down and burst into tears, covering her face with her hands. Her lips were bloody as she bit them. If it was possible, she would have used her own life as a substitute for her son’s, but it was impossible!

At this moment, Gu Ye was asking Xia Xiang with a smile on his face, “My lovely boy scout, have you ever lied?”

Xia Xiang shook his head with a confused expression.

“Then my lovely boy scout, will you come with me and be a messenger of justice to save the lost lamb on his way in the Yellow Springs?”

Xia Xiang was frightened by Gu Ye’s gentle tone and also got goosebumps from it. His intuition told him that this matter wasn’t a good one. “…Tell me what you want me to do.”

Gu Ye said in a serious manner, “You go to Teacher Yu and say I have a 40-degree fever and that I need to be excused from school for medical treatment. Stay out for a while and then go back to school, and say that the doctor gave me an IV.”

Xia Xiang : “…”

Ten minutes later, Xia Xiang took a taxi with Gu Ye to the hospital. Having been a good and obedient boy for the past eighteen years of his life, Mr. Yu had never doubted Xia Xiang and approved his request on the spot. Frowning guiltily, Xia Xiang asked in a whisper, “Is Zhao PengYu really seriously ill? We should have come earlier.”

Gu Ye answered with a helpless tone, “Even if we came early, we won’t necessarily be allowed to see him.”

With his face, who would believe that he’s a capable Master? If he didn’t make a good impression, he would be treated as a child playing around and be directly thrown out.

Gu Ye was right. After hearing the bodyguard reporting his arrival, Mrs. Zhao really didn’t believe that Gu Ye could save Zhao PengYu. He was too young, after all. But right now, as long as there was a ray of hope, Mrs. Zhao would try anything. After someone brought Gu Ye in, Mrs. Zhao saw Gu Ye’s appearance. He had red lips with shiny white teeth, and when he smiled, his peach blossom eyes were dazzlingly bright. This was not the image of a Master.

She sat beside her son’s bed dejectedly and clutched Zhao PengYu’s fingers before saying weakly, “Little Master, please take a look at him. The doctors said he won’t live past tonight if he doesn’t recover.”

Zhao PengYu’s face was pale and his lips were blue. His glabella was black with a faint red line, which was constantly emitting Sha Qi. Gu Ye didn’t say a word but instead took out half-used incense stick from his pouch and lit it. He then held it in between his two fingers and left it on Zhao PengYu’s glabella where it stood steadily without any help.

Seeing this, Mrs. Zhao’s eyes widened in surprise and asked, “This is…?”

“Soul-summoning incense.” Gu Ye answered with a smile. “I knew that he would have a disaster prior to this, so I protected his soul with a talisman, and now, I’m calling his soul back using this incense.”

As the incense burned, small amounts of ash fell, and the smoke was inhaled by Zhao PengYu through his nose as he breathed. After a few seconds, his breathing grew smoother, and even his lips regained their color.

Mrs. Zhao was so shocked that she didn’t know what to say. Such a huge surprise had hit her when she was at her most desperate, and she didn’t know how to react. She wanted to be happy, but she was afraid to be disappointed again. “This— Can he be saved? Can he really be saved?”

Gu Ye smiled. “Of course. Gods kill Gods, ghosts kill ghosts. As long as I want to save him, no one else can do anything about it.”

Mrs. Zhao stood up in her excitement and asked, “He won’t lose his mind or become vegetative?”

Gu Ye was amused by this and said, “Of course not. What rookies told you that? You should file a complaint against them.”

Mrs. Zhao covered her mouth while looking excitedly at Gu Ye. Those so-called “rookies” were famous Masters. Was Gu Ye really capable or was he just bragging, though? She didn’t think she could stand another disappointment.

Right at this moment, Gu Ye reached out and slapped Zhao PengYu on the forehead. “Wake up! It’s time to eat, Teacher Yu is calling already!”

Under Mrs. Zhao’s expectant gaze, Zhao PengYu opened his eyes. Before he could recover his thoughts, his mother had already rushed over and hugged him while sobbing, letting out all the despair and fear she felt during this whole ordeal. Zhao PengYu was a bit confused since he had never seen his mother crying so desperately like this before he finally reacted and comforted Mrs. Zhao. He then turned to Gu Ye and said emotionally, “You saved my life again.”

Gu Ye smiled and said, “There are more things to do. Waking up doesn’t mean this is over.”

Mrs. Zhao, who had just called her husband, stood up and asked confusedly when she heard this. “Why is it not over?”

Gu Ye felt sorry for all the parents in the world. If he said even one word denying the rescue, Zhao PengYu’s mother would collapse.

“Don’t worry. Let’s take this one step at a time.” Gu Ye then asked, “Did he pick up any suspicious objects? Take it out and let me have a look.”

Mrs. Zhao quickly sent someone to fetch the pouch while Zhao PengYu pulled at the hem of Gu Ye’s cloth. He was having a mental breakdown. “I’ve been having this dream where I’ve married a wife and she has been chasing me ever since. I can’t escape from her even after running to the ends of the Earth. You have to save me, Gu Ye. I’m still a child!”

Gu Ye sneered. “Oh? Well, you are a giant child.”

Gu Ye said this so casually that Zhao PengYu almost cried. “Be serious, ah, will you!”

Gu Ye pulled up a chair and sat with a very neat posture. “So, did you marry her?”

Zhao PengYu quickly explained, “No, I was able to run away. If I didn’t play basketball all the time, I would have been caught by her!”

Gu Ye seriously asked, “Is your wife beautiful?”

Zhao PengYu replied solemnly, “No idea. I was more focused on running away, so I didn’t pay attention.”

Gu Ye couldn’t hold back his laughter and said happily, “That’s a pity. Why didn’t you take a look? Maybe she’s beautiful.”

Only then did Zhao PengYu react. Gu Ye was teasing him with these questions. He got up from the bed and begged, “Gu Ye, no, Daddy Gu Ye, save me! I will really die this time!”

Watching from the side, Mrs. Zhao finally cracked a smile while her tears were still flowing down. A ray of light had finally shone after these dark days.

Gu Ye ignored him and said, “She wanted a husband, so she posted the ads all around and you picked it up. You look good, your family’s rich, you’re at the right age, and you’re also educated. She likes you and you have also received the betrothal gift, what can I do?”

Zhao PengYu became anxious. “I didn’t agree to it, ah! This is marriage fraud! I barely passed all of my exams! Educated, my ass!”

Gu Ye suddenly approached him and looked at his neck. There was a pink mark there, causing Gu Ye’s expression to darken, “Didn’t you enter the bridal chamber with your wife? Didn’t you already make children? Sorry, I can’t help you.”

“No! I’m still a virgin, I swear!”

Gu Ye said with a tone full of implication, “You… You’re such a waste.”

Zhao PengYu : “…”

What exactly did you want me to answer? You’re just having fun at my expense!

Having amused himself enough, Gu Ye said, “Okay, I’ll write down a list of some materials, please prepare them. The ghost you encountered is not a common one. Her Sha Qi is very strong, and it’s going to take a lot of effort to solve it.” Just as he finished saying this, the door opened and two people came in.

One of them held a pouch. It was Zhao PengYu’s father.

The other wore a suit, was tall, stood with an upright posture, and had beautiful facial features. The mole on the outer corner of his left eye and his slightly anxious gaze softened his temperament a little, but he still exuded a sense of alienation. As soon as he showed up, Gu Ye was stunned because the aura of this man that no ghosts and deities dared to provoke was very similar to the God’s son he had encountered on the evening of a certain scum’s concert.

Gu Ye’s eyes brightened. With him here, saving Zhao PengYu would be a piece of cake!

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Kuro : Due to a very private issue that I’m trying to think about and make decisions on right now, next week’s update might be either late or not going to be posted. Will resume updates next week. Thank you for understanding and I’m very, very sorry. On another, more cheerful note, please watch Mr. Vampire. It’s a movie I watched a lot as a kid and also what got me interested in jiangshi and Chinese folklore. It’s funny and family friendly, with a bit cultural differences here and there.