I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

The middle-aged uncle curiously asked “Eh? How do you know my son?”

I briefly told him about my relation with Cao JingShen. I also told him that he looks very similar to his son, they straight up look like they came out of the same mold. Of course, I never said that they were equivalently shameless, dirty, wretched, and vulgar. Regardless of who, one can tell with a glance that this father-son pair is a lost cause.

“It seems like that brat has been under your care! He didn’t even tell me about you, how inconsiderate!”

Uncle Cao took over the package of H mangas and carefully placed it on the round table.

“Jie Jie Jie Jie Jie ~~~ I’ve waited for this ‘Ultimate Teacher XXX’ series for half a year. Tonight, I feast!”

Even that ghastly laughter is just like Cao JingShen.

It seems that Uncle Cao noticed me looking towards his computer screen at the disgraceful message about buying a little girl’s panties, but it didn’t seem like he was making any attempts to hide it.

“Ara, Xiao Ye, it’s just as you see, I’m a pervert!” he acknowledged nonchalantly.

I opened my mouth but no words came out.

Actually, in my mind, I rate you guys one level above a pervert. However, admitting that you’re a pervert to someone younger than you really require a strong spirit.

I applaud you, my senior.

“Heng Heng, my name was actually not originally Cao Jing but was changed later on. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because, as a director…”

“But you don’t look like a director?” I blurted out.

“But, I have a beard!” Uncle Cao gestured at his chin.

“You’re not a director just because you have a beard!”

“Heh, you’re such a stubborn youngster.”

Uncle Cao ran into a neighboring room, speedily retrieved a director’s hat and placed it on his head.

“Now I should look like a director, right?”

A pink checkered director’s hat, it was extremely tacky.

I was speechless.

“So, Director Cao, why did you change your name?”

“Hehe, I changed my name to Cao Jing because I idolized Wong Jing, ”

“Hong Kong director Wong Jing is extremely famous. God of Gamblers starring Chow Yun-fat, and Hail the Judge starring Stephen Chow were all masterpieces directed by him.”

As if he knew my inner thoughts, director Cao vigourously waved his hand.

“I idolize him, but it’s not because he worked with Yun-fat or Stephen.”

“I only idolize him because he has directed R-rated films before! He has also always been trying to release a large-scale Chinese adult film! I’ve even heard that he wore a head cover and starred in an adult film before! Someone as beautiful as Shu Qi also worked with Wong Jing on an R-rated film, how envious!”

As he spoke excitedly, Director Cao’s spit flew everywhere. He turned his eyes upwards, shaped his hands like chicken feet, extended his tongue by 2 inches, a truly fiendish appearance.

His actions gave me goosebumps. I turned and again saw the bed in the living room.

“I bought that bed in preparation to film adult films in China!” Director Cao bluntly said.

“Does China allow filming adult films?”

Director Cao sighed after hearing me ask.

“Haaa, I’ve directed 10 or so low-cost adult films in Japan and Hong Kong before. I’ve always felt regret over not being able to film in my home country and share my work with the fellow people.”

You don’t have to feel regret, if you sold your adult film in Japan before, as long as it’s not too bad, our fellow citizens have probably already downloaded it and watched it through the internet.

“Thus, after I returned to China a few years ago, I secretly found a willing female actor, hired a couple of people and planned to film here, in the end…”

“Because the female actor screamed too loud and disturbed the peace, we were reported by my neighbors!”

I can definitely imagine their sorry figures as they were being apprehended by the police.

“Although I was finally released after paying quite a big fine, the adult film work has come to a stop. It’s making me lose hope.”

Director Cao looked down at the city streets through the French Window. He had an abstruse gaze, it’s as if his work is 10 times more important than liberating all of humanity.

“Child, let me tell you, I have a dream!

I have a dream that one day in China, sweltering with the heat of oppression, people wouldn’t look down at adult film actors and directors.

I have a dream that one day, adult film critics and the director’s of adult films will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day, adult film stars and the director’s who looked down on adult films will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight. The holy light shall be revealed, illuminating all of humanity…”

“Don’t fucking plagiarize Martin Lutther King, Jr.’s ‘I have a Dream’! Hurry and apologize to all the black activists! Apologize to all the African-Americans!”

“In order to achieve my dreams, and panties of a 10-year-old loli, I’m willing to sacrifice my life!” Director Cao passionately vowed whilst facing the sunlight shining through the French window.

His face looked solemn, like a saint ready to die for his religion.

“Um, Director Cao, I’m going to head back if you don’t need anything else.”

I didn’t want to listen to him spout more of his dreams to film an adult film. Because I’m surrounded by these types of people, my thoughts are becoming increasingly less pure.

“Don’t! Boss Ye told you to come and deliver the goods because he wanted me to check out your aptitude!”

Director Cao blocked me from leaving.

What did he mean? I had my suspicion, was the director that my dad said he knew this guy? But he’s a fucking adult film director! How far can your betrayal go! Getting naked to film an adult film, wouldn’t that be 10,000 times more humiliating than owning an online adult product store?

I’m not of age yet! Pulling a minor to film an adult film would land you a spot in prison, even in the US!

Director Cao quinted his eyes and glanced at me let and right.

“Xiao Ye, come, come. It’s so hot in here, why don’t you take off your shirt first?”

No way I’m taking it off! What the hell do you want to do! Are you not just interested in girls under 10, you won’t even let your son’s classmates off? Or, do you want to check whether my physique is suitable to star in an adult film? I don’t want to! I won’t act in an adult film even if I have to play a lifetime of the supporting roles in martial art films like Ji ChunHua!

“Eh! Xiao Ye Zi, why does your complexion look so bad? Don’t tell me you got sick because of the sudden air conditioning?”

You’re Xiao Ye Zi! Why’d you come up with such a porn-like name for me so quickly! It’s like the Japanese AV star “Chocolate Ball” style. Do you want to toss a minor into a fire pit? Where are the heroic police? Can you please come and slap a pair of ice-cold handcuffs on him!

“Xiao Ye Zi, do you have any apprehension?” Director Cao tilted his head and looked at me.

“Yes, I don’t plan to be in an adult film.”

“Eh! How did you know that I was planning to put you in an adult film!” Director Cao turned pale with fright.

“Aren’t you being too obvious? You haven’t filmed anything but adult films before and now you want to check my physique…”

“Ahh, you’re misunderstanding!” Director Cao laughed heartily while patting my shoulders.

“I want you to appear in my latest planned short film! It’s martial art styled!” Director Cao said as he slightly straightened his body and somewhat had the manner of a Director.

“Although you can only start as a supporting role, but the road to stardom isn’t done within a day!”

“But, didn’t you just say that you wanted me to to be in an adult film?” I was at a loss.

Director Cao lowered his voice, “Truthfully, your style and appearance is very fitting for an adult film, especially those with a plot where you tyrannize the female lead…the audience will love it!”

After seeing my disdainful look, Diector Cao followed up, “But, you’re still a minor now, so if I made you film an adult film, no matter in Japan or America, I’ll defintiely have to face consequences. That’s why, before you become of age, I plan to raise you like the child star ‘Harry Potter’. After you become of age, then you can come with me to battle the adult film industry. That way, it’s a win-win situation.”

Does the Harry Potter from your house look like me? If I shaved my eyebrows and cut my nose, I can play Voldemort! Are you lying? You actually want to raise me as the adolescent version of Voldemort, then transfer me to the adult film industry, and play in a film where the plot is is Voldemort oppressing Hermione, right!

I originally wanted to shout that at him, but since he’s still my dad’s friend, I have to respect that.

My dad painstakingly got me to do this delivery because he’s always known about my dream to be a martial art star. I really don’t want you to worry about me anymore, as long as you can cheer up, it doesn’t really matter whether my dreams come true or not.

“Xiao Ye Zi, don’t tell me you’re not interested anymore becuase you heard it’s a short film?”

Director Cao still hasn’t given up yet.

“Short films are very fashionable! Even though it can’t enter the cinema and is only played online, but you can’t underestimate its advertising capabilities. You can make a reputation, attract investors, it might even be made into a tv series!” he said confidently.

“The script I got was written by a friend in the industry, it’s very suited to be adapted into a short film. Its planned to be split into 10 episodes, with each epsiode taking 5 minutes. We’ll shoot one episode per week, upload it online and listen to the audience’s feedback. This is also my first attempt to try out the action industry from adult films, the strength we’ll display will for sure impress investors!” the director said with lots of motivation.

“In order to make this script suitable for a younger audience, all the characters are pretty young. There’s a character that’s very suitable for you! I’m being very serious! When I first laid eyes on you, I just knew you were perfeect for this role!”

“Director Cao, then it must be an antagonist, right?” I wrinkled my brows.

Director Cao embarrassedly stroked his beard and laughed, “Un, although it’s not an upright character, but he has a lot of cruical points of human nature!”

“Then… does he enter the protagonist faction half way through?” I still held a slimmer of hope.

“No… the protagonist can’t beat him for the first 9 epsiodes, but in the episode 10 finale, he kills him. The character is called ‘Young Thug Jing Ling’…”

Damn it, isn’t that the final boss? You wasted all this time and in the end, you still want me to play the villain!