I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

I did not know what kind of problems he was referring to when he said “it will lead to huge problems”. I just ignored him and kept speaking.

“She doesn’t believe that password locks aren’t safe, so she made a bet with me to see if I can crack the code in front of her…”

After Cao JingShen heard that my cousin was male, he completely lost interest. But the class leader pricked up her ears and was eavesdropping on our conversation.

“I saw that her password lock was only composed of three numbers and I immediately laughed. I told her that she was too foolish. There are only 1000 possible combinations from 000-999! As long as you have patience, anyone can crack the code!”

The class leader slanted her head and seemed to be thinking about something, but Cao JingShen was fed up:

“Leader! Is your cousin male or female? You just referred to your cousin with female pronouns! Is this distant relative of yours from Thailand or something!?” (TN: In Chinese, they use different words for male or female cousins. I just changed the sentences a bit so it made sense)

I raised my hand to make it seem like I was going to slap him and he went silent, then I continued speaking:

“My cous… relative didn’t believe me, so I started to crack the code right in front of them. Since I’m a wise master, I started from 999 and counted backwards, and soon figured out the password! I said how’s that, your password is 813!”

After hearing the number of “813”, the class leader shook her body as if she was just electrocuted, as if the seat she was sitting on suddenly became an electric chair.

I have successfully completed my goal. After that, I spouted some nonsense with Cao JingShen, saying stuff like the number 813 is easy to remember. It looks like the “1” is cutting the “8” vertically into a “3”, so girls who didn’t have a good head used it as a password.

In the remaining half of the class, the class leader never really started a conversation. Even if someone asked her a question, she would only give a half hearted response. After the bell rang, she was the first one to return to our classroom. I saw her packing up her bag with a deathly pale complexion, it appeared as if she was desperate to go home.

That’s right, hurry up and change your diary, put it in a safer place, or better yet stop keeping a diary!

The usually clamorous Monday campus life was finally over, and I returned home filled with exhaustion.

When I was eating hot pot for dinner, I saw my dad happily picking up a fish ball. I suddenly remembered that I should admonish my old man and ask if he had given away my childhood photos.

He did not deny it, and confessed his crimes while eating.

What I didn’t expect was that my childhood photos were quite popular, especially among the older aunts. For them, my photos were like stickers.

So when Xiao Qin, the daughter of the neighbor Auntie Ren, came to ask for a photo, Dad thought that Auntie Ren wanted to keep a commemorative photo, so he gave her one.

He also complained that no one wanted the photos of me after I entered middle school. The fearsome expression that I had on my face could only be used to ward off evil.

“Xiao Lin, why’d you suddenly ask about this? Is someone misusing your photos?”

Being placed on Xiao Qin’s bedside should probably be considered misuse, but I can’t tell my old man, it was too shameful.

I had to mutter my way through my answer.

Nothing really happened this week until Thursday.

On Wednesday, I put on Qingzi Academy’s uniform, infiltrated into the school, and handed the checkered books that Xiao Qin copied over to Ai Mi. There was quite a large amount this time, and it was probably enough for Ai Mi to use for a few weeks.

I bumped into Peng TouSi midway, but he didn’t see through our little scheme.

He told me that Miss Ai Mi had no friends in Qingzi Academy. Although she doesn’t say anything, she actually hopes that you could come see her often. As long as you don’t bring her any junk food, or do something particularly excessive, we won’t interfere.

His gentle attitude towards me made me very uncomfortable. It made me always recall what Ai Mi said, that Peng TouSi is a homo.

I just straightforwardly asked if he was thinking about my chrysanthemum.

Peng TouSi shook his head and felt that he was insulted, but did not get angry.

“Young man, did you know? Peng TouSi is the name I gave myself after my rebirth. This name was taken from a sea god in Greek mythology.”

It’s only been a few days since we last met, but Peng TouSi’s Chinese has greatly improved. Although his pronunciation was still a bit strange, the meaning of his sentences were crystal clear.

“So what? I heard from my father that the gods from Greek mythology were all hoodlums, headed by Zeus, there’s not a single decent one!”

I held my buttocks as I yelled at Peng TouSi, and the other students at Qingzi Academy looked curiously at us from a distance, but no one dared to approach.

Maybe someone was hoping that Peng TouSi would send me flying with a slap.

“Young man, although Peng TouSi is a sea god, but he doesn’t represent the sea, but rather the ‘big pit’ that holds the seawater!” (TN: Peng TouSi is the Chinese name for the Greek God, Pontus)

“What do you mean?”

Peng TouSi no longer spoke, he just faintly smiled at me, as if I would understand.

I think I kind of understand. He meant that he was a complete 0. When he is engaged in the act, he only accommodates others, so it was impossible for him to think about fragile chrysanthemum.

“Why are you always so courteous towards me? You’re Ai Mi’s bodyguard. I heard that if someone approached Ai Mi, they will be blocked by you! Why are you only giving me special treatment?”

Xing Xing was a perfect example, because he thought of me as his big brother, so Ai Mi was not an outsider. He wanted to get Ai Mi’s signature. As a result, he was grabbed by his belt and tossed out by Peng TouSi, his ankle was also bitten by Obama.

“Young man…”

“My name is Ye Lin! Stop calling me young man! It’s so cringey!”

I sternly protested.

Peng TouSi spread his hands signifying that he would do as I wished.

“Lin, are you heterosexual?”

What the hell!? That’s even more cringey than before! Although according to American culture, my name would indeed be “Lin·Ye”, but can you give me some psychological preparation! And what does it mean by asking my sexual orientation in public?

“Of… of course I’m heterosexual!”

That should be right, although as of yet I have not decided to establish a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, I have at least tested my physiological reactions with Xiao Qin.

Peng TouSi further asked:

“If you’re heterosexual, would you like little girls who just entered elementary school?”

What kind of damn question is that?! Is this the US military’s lolicon test? If the FBI wants to sweep out all the lolicons around the world, I’m reporting Director Cao! Go catch him! In addition, there is a school doctor in our school who is a shotacon, have her taken away too! I am not a lolicon! I don’t like little girls who still smell of their mother’s milk!

Seeing the expression on my face, Peng TouSi added on:

“Don’t misunderstand. What I meant was that if there was a girl of young age that fit your sense of aesthetics. Even if you don’t have the desire to get with her immediately, won’t you still have some sort of expectations for her?”

I raised one eyebrow.

“Waiting until she turns 15, so the sentencing would be lighter, that kind of expectation?”

Peng TouSi shook his hand like a palm-leaf fan.

“Lin, it’s not as dirty as what you’re thinking of. It could be purely out of goodwill, hoping that the girl you admire will grow up safe and sound, and obtain happiness. This is the relentless pursuit of ‘beauty’ by mankind.

I really hope that the ex-underground boxer nicknamed “Black Death God” would talk to me about killing, which would be more natural than talking about a meaningless topic like “beauty”.

“Lin, when I look at you, I see the little girl who hasn’t grown up yet. It’s not a desire for you, but rather feelings of appreciation and wishfulness, I hope that you can be happy.”

So disgusting and corny, I couldn’t stand the gentle gaze of Peng TouSi’s eyes. I’m going to throw up… It turns out the legend of killing with your sight was true. Peng TouSi is going to kill me with his sight in a different sense!

But thanks to Peng TouSi, I can openly visit Ai Mi in the future. I don’t have to hide from the security guards, I don’t have to jump over the wall, and I don’t have to pet Obama’s head anymore.

Ai Mi was very happy after she received the checkered books. I heard that Peng TouSi turned a blind eye to the cheating. She was a little surprised at first, but later on it was not that surprising anymore.

It turned out that Peng TouSi also tried to learn how to write Chinese characters. As a result, he went crazy after only learning for a week. The other bodyguards couldn’t even hold him down. He didn’t want to hurt anyone during his outbreak. In order to vent his anger, he chewed up half the yard. The rapper who lived across from them got scared and dialed 911. If it wasn’t for Ai Mi’s mother, Peng TouSi would probably be in a mental hospital by now.

Therefore, Peng TouSi believed that cheating on writing Chinese characters was justifiable.

Ai Mi also said that Americans had a idiom that was “it’s harder than Chinese”, which is roughly equivalent to “fucking hard”. She feels that her skill of Chinese characters is sufficient, she is not going to continue living in China, so why work that hard.

Since I didn’t have to avoid Peng TouSi, I stayed in Ai Mi’s room for more than 2 hours. During the conversation, I got a better understanding of the VIP building.

This long-term vacant VIP building was now almost completely occupied by Ai Mi and her attendants.

Peng TouSi lived across from Ai Mi, the rest of the bodyguards lived in the adjacent house, then there’s the private doctors, drivers, chefs, and nutritionists…

Ai Mi lived in a luxurious doubles room with a spacious living room, two bedrooms, separated toilet and shower, a complete set of bathing equipment, glass walled showers with a whirlpool tub with massage functions, it was extremely extravagant.

Ai Mi was still being picky, saying that the shower was not gentle enough, and that her soft skin turns red after showering.

Due to her sensitivity to sunlight, Ai Mi chose the bedroom with less sun.

The other bedroom was completely empty, but was still cleaned every day. It had a complete set of bedding, and was mainly used as a rest area for people like the dance teacher to take a break.

All the female teachers were reluctant to rest in this room and tried to avoid changing clothes inside. Peng TouSi was puzzled by this situation.

What do you not understand! Ai Mi said there was a surveillance camera in the room, and the female teachers must have been afraid of being peeked on! They don’t know that you don’t find any pleasure in seeing their naked body!