I’m Really Not The Demon God’s Lackey

"6th April, rainy."

"My students and I dug with shovels, and finally opened the underground tunnel."

"This place practically possesses an entire world's civilization. Now that we've come this far, regardless of what the present or future holds, my students and I can die without any regrets."

"But what about Caiyong and the child? I can't let them die."

"Some of my students are acting strange, but I'm becoming increasingly clear-headed. I feel that it isn't just the magnetic fields that are the problem with this world. Perhaps there exists other stuff that's affecting us. This is the first time I thought about this sort of issue."

""Are there ghosts in this world?" I asked Caiyong, and she told me that there aren't any ghosts in this world. Ghosts are merely things that science cannot yet explain, and science is what humanity relies on."

"Caiyong can still say something like that in such a situation. She's truly my wife."

"Tonight, I will sleep beside my child so that I can be at ease."

——

"19th April, rainy."

"Surviving in this underground palace is extremely difficult, but almost all the food I can prepare is given to Caiyong. She and the child are in good condition."

"It isn't easy to prepare food and can only be done at night, or else it will be snatched away by others."

"Even if they're all my students, I don't have a choice. My child has to live... This is my obsession as a father."

"Fortunately, everyone is still here. With a team of twenty-nine working together, we will definitely be able to find a way out."

——

"27th April, rainy."

"It's been raining every day since we came down. Mold has gotten in the food, but Caiyong is in good spirits. She seems to have gained weight and looks even cuter."

"We discussed the child's name all day long, yet haven't yet come to a decision."

"At night, the five of us sat around the campfire. For some reason, the darkness here seems to be capable of engulfing light. Even if we burned bones, clothes, or other things, the fire didn't seem to blaze brighter. It could only illuminate a small area around us."

"Caiyong told everyone to sit back to back and not to turn our backs to the darkness. Everyone agreed, so the five of us leaned against one another."

"While cheering me up, Caiyong encouraged the others as well."

"Everyone likes her and respects her as if she's an angel. I'm very happy, but also a little upset."

"Caiyong is mine, and so is the child."

——

"30th April, rainy."

"We made it through the night, but Shao Yiwen isn't doing too well. She kept muttering to herself last night and slept with a back to 'Him.' She's been eaten."

"Who is 'He'?"

"I'm very puzzled, but Yiwen's left arm and entire back was bitten off by those things. Her viscera spilled out of the gashes and her intestines came loose. Her back is covered by bloody holes as if it were a wasp nest that's covered in pus and blood."

"However, we can't stop. We have to keep going and find a way out."

"Xu Xiangdong is also acting very weirdly. He keeps rambling that he's found some important documents and is scribbling random symbols in his notebook. He even claims that it's the written language of a kingdom of elves."

"My other student, Duan Xuemin, disagreed with his opinion, and Xiangdong even tried to physically hit Xuemin."

"He's gone completely insane and I don't know what's wrong with him. He suddenly went blind, and his eyes were reduced to two dark empty sockets. Xiangdong keeps saying that 'He' is by his side and can even feel 'His' breathing."

"Continuing to bring him along might pose danger to Caiyong, the child, and Xuemin."

"We convinced him to stay and look after Shao Yiwen, and then we left him behind. It's a rather cruel thing to do, but even more things will be destroyed if we persist with this slight sense of morality."

"Now, it's just me, Caiyong, and my student Duan Xuemin."

——

"27th April, rainy."

"It's still raining, and it hasn't stopped once. The three of us haven't yet found a way out, and to be honest, it's a bit hopeless."

"But I can't show it in front of Caiyong and the child. Today, I joked with Student Xuemin, asking if she had any more food, and she cried from fright."

"She even said, "Please don't eat me.""

"Why would I eat her? That silly kid is a real joker. Caiyong even laughed at her joke, and I feel rather hopeful when she laughs."

"I put my hand on Caiyong's stomach and felt the child's kicks. This is my first child, so I have to protect him or her at all costs."

"I love 'Him.'"

——

"28th April, rainy."

Xuemin disappeared.

——

"29th April, rainy."

"It's just me and Caiyong now. A piece of my calf was bitten off, but I can't feel any pain at all."

"I'm in a blurry daze all day long. Caiyong says it's due to long-term confinement and malnutrition. Plus, the rainwater is sticky and reeks. Drinking this rainwater for prolonged periods makes me feel like vomiting."

"But Caiyong is still doing fine. She doesn't seem to be in any discomfort and her belly is really huge."

"She's about to give birth, and her hands and feet are starting to swell. Moving about is rather inconvenient for her."

"Caiyong and I wrote down many names for the child, but we haven't decided yet. I hope for a daughter, but Caiyong wants a son."

"If it's a daughter, she will definitely look like Caiyong."

"I've thought of a dozen names, but Caiyong has only given one boy's name. I don't particularly fancy it, but it will do as long as Caiyong is happy."

(A list of names were written below)

"Caiyong and I have been rushing toward a certain destination. It's strange. Where exactly are we going?"

——

"1st May, rainy."

"There's a lot less meat on my legs and I can already see bone. I can no longer walk and have to move around by crawling."

"I was covered in mud from all the crawling, but Caiyong didn't mind. She kissed me and dragged me along."

——

Without any expression, Lin Jie turned the page, but the empty page roused him.

Is that all...? Lin Jie continued to flip through and found a page close to the end that was almost fully stained with blood. Lin Jie extended his finger, gently touching the page, and he could feel the pen tip's indentation.

He took a deep breath, picked up the notebook and held it up to the fuel lamp. Through the light from the flame, he made the best of what he could out of those red and messy strokes.

——

"We are here, Caiyong and I finally arrived."

"But, is this hell?"

"A massive palace made from putrid flesh. Various strange creatures, including human limbs and body parts, are all around us. Whatever we step on produces a squelching sound of flesh and blood."

"Countless pairs of black and red eyes are densely distributed throughout the palace, staring at us fixedly the moment we enter."

"Small tentacles, as thick as a baby's wrists, sway aimlessly like wriggling maggots."

"A huge lump of flesh, shaped like a baby, is connected to countless blood vessels like the threads of a spider's web, blooming within a yellow translucent blister."

"It was a demon… A demon!"

“I pulled Caiyong and ran as fast as I could, but these tunnels made of viscera and flesh seemed never ending."

"The entire world was covered in red, with all kinds of strange sacrificed humans, their limbs and features twisted and deformed, like an endless vortex."

"They were still muttering nonstop and shouting my name. They were alive and chasing us. People who looked like they had feet all over their bodies and a man with only skin were also chasing us. Some were warped into rope shapes, while others had twisted orifices... They surrounded us."

"There was also the deceased Old Chen and all of the students, their bodies torn and rotting..."

"We couldn't stop, or else we would become like them."

"However, Caiyong fell. She was about to give birth."

"I tried to help her deliver, but the baby wouldn't come out, no matter what! I am useless. Child, why won't you come out? Why do you have to make your mother suffer so much..."

"Caiyong was in so much pain, and my heart hurt so much too."

"It hurt so much, so, so much..."

"I was covered in blood, and so was Caiyong."

"Eventually I did it. The baby came out covered in blood and crying incessantly. However, he didn't look like me or Caiyong."

"...He looked like the baby in the yellow, translucent blister."

"But this is my child. My only child."

"I can't find Caiyong anymore, but I had to take my child and leave. This is my duty and fate as a father."

"Just as Caiyong had guessed, it's a boy. I've given him the name Lin Jie. Jie as in Medium." (T/L: Original text is 媒介, Mei Jie which means medium, as in a means of which something is communicated or expressed)

——

The journal ended here. Lin Jie leaned against the counter, staring fixedly at his own shadow in the dim light.

In this empty bookstore, Lin Jie felt as if he had returned to the time before Mu'en arrived, or even further back, to when he first stepped into the bookstore three years ago.