In This Life, I Will Be The Lord

"Hmm."

I woke up at the touch of gently kneading my feet.

When I pushed up my eyelids, I saw Perez sitting at my feet.

Is he ready to go to the Imperial Palace? The man, who was the emperor from head to toe, was kneading my feet with a lot of concentration.

"Hi."

I said good morning in a slightly hoarse voice.

Then a friendly smile bloomed on Perez's expressionless face.

"Did you sleep well, Tia?"

Now that I'm now in my fourth month of pregnancy, Perez seemed to have lost a lot of weight.

It was because he was suffering from morning sickness, which had been going on for some time.

It was said that the assistants of the imperial palace are so afraid of Perez, who has become more sensitive and sharper because of this.

Perez, who treats me, was still like the spring sun.

"You don't have to do this every morning."

He must be busy every morning after training and going to work at the Imperial Palace.

Perez took the time and gave me a foot massage every single day.

"You can close your eyes a little more and rest during this time."

But Perez shook his head.

"Your body is getting heavier, so your feet will be tired. It's only morning now, but I'll do it every evening from next month."

I've tried to stop him a few more times before, but Perez was firm.

"...I can't stop you, really."

But even saying that, I didn't take my foot out of him.

I just closed my eyes languidly at the coolness spreading from the soles of my feet.

According to Estira, it will enter a stable phase from four months.

Fortunately, Perez's morning sickness has subsided a bit since last week.

"Did you have breakfast?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"You still can't eat proper food?"

Perez answered my question with a bitter smile.

Because of the morning sickness he was taking instead of me, Perez had barely survived with fruits and biscuits.

Not long ago, bread and light soup were all he could eat, but it was still not enough.

I was grateful, sorry, and sad to such Perez.

"How can you suffer so much? I hope the morning sickness goes away soon."

"It's okay, I can stand it."

Perez said, crossing over with the other foot.

"It's better for me to suffer a little than for Tia to suffer."

"...I think I got married really well."

As I deliberately wiggled my toes and muttered, Perez grinned.

His large hands are good at loosening the muscles from my calves to the soles of my feet.

There's really nothing I can't do.

Looking at Perez, who began to concentrate silently again, my eyes closed.

"Is today your day off, Tia?"

"Yes."

"Then sleep a little more. You have to relieve your fatigue."

Perez approached me and kissed me as soon as it was time to go to work.

"Hmm. Shall I?"

Perhaps because it was the first holiday in a long time, my heavy body seemed to sink deep into the bed.

I should at least see him off to have a safe trip.

"I will be back. See you tonight, Tia."

With those gentle whispers, I fell asleep once more, feeling the warmth of my stomach, which has now begun to swell little by little, for a while.

When I woke up again, it was already close to noon.

"I slept really well."

Once I stretched out coolly, I rubbed my shallow stomach like a habit.

If I could, I would like to rest a little more like this, but I had to take care of my meal for the child.

With Caitlin's help, I lightly washed and changed clothes, and headed to the dining room.

"Have you been eating, Aunt?"

"Oh, Tia. It's been a while."

First, Shananet, who was having lunch at the dining room, greeted me.

I asked, reaching out for the bread, which was just prepared for me.

"Are you busy these days?"

Shananet has been distracted by a new mine recently discovered on the border of Chesail and Sushou.

"It shouldn't be. It is not a difficult matter in many ways."

My father, the lord of Chesail, entrusted the development of the discovered ore to Lombardi Mining, and Shananet was in charge of negotiating on behalf of my father.

"Let me know whenever you need help from me or Pellet."

"It's still fine. The job itself is not difficult. but..."

Unlike Shananet, she blurted out the end of her words.

What is it?

I got an unusual feeling.

"What's going on?"

I deliberately asked casually.

"There is a person who is bothering me."

"What do you mean bothering you? Is that person interrupting your work?"

"No, it's not like that. But it's true that he's against my nerves."

However, Shananet's expression when she said that was strange.

"For example?"

"He keeps sending flowers and tea leaves, and when I meet him by chance, I talk to him."

...Is this what I think?

"It's not like him, and he keeps laughing."

That's right. That's right.

"Aunt maybe that..."

"I'm sure he's up to something."

Shananet sliced the meat and narrowed her eyes.

She seemed to have taken the signal from him in the wrong direction.

I don't know who the opponent is, but I feel a little sorry for him already.

"So, what my aunt is saying is that he keeps sending flowers and tea leaves, and that person smiles while talking to you?"

"Yeah. He's not like that at all the time."

"Isn't that person interested in my aunt?"

Click.

Shananet's movements stopped.

"...Interested?"

"Yes. I think it's the kind of thing you do to someone you like or have a crush on."

I sneakily glanced at Shananet.

Shananet, who was measuring something for a while, shook her head firmly.

"He's not such a great person."

"What kind of person is he?"

"A blunt, mysterious, sly..." (TN: Uh... Why is it looks like someone I might know... And that someone is still single too. Also, the place of the new mine is near that someone's place.)

Shananet took a sip of water as she quickly brushed off her thoughts, and she said.

"Anyway, he's not that kind of person. That's it for my regards, and how about you, Tia."

I'm curious as to who the 'that person' Shananet is talking about is, but as time passes, I will naturally find out.

"I'm always the same."

I answered with a shrug.

"But I'm glad that it seems to be going well for a first child. It's been over 4 months, isn't it?"

"Yes, I'll be 5 months soon."

"You will be able to feel the fetal movement soon."

"Fetal movement...?"

"Yeah. Gillieu and Mairon kicked the stomach as soon as they had legs. I couldn't sleep well."

Shananet smiled.

"I was fortunate that I handed over all my positions to Vestian after I found out about my pregnancy. I was able to take a nap and prenatal care."

"I see..."

Fetus and prenatal care.

My head became complicated with unexpected words.

"Oh yeah. How about the prenatal care, Tia?"

I couldn't answer this time.

Because I wasn't doing anything special for prenatal care.

As I smiled vaguely and spared no words, Shananet nodded her head.

"Well. You can't make time because your schedule is busy."

"Should I do prenatal care separately?"

I knew it roughly.

Listening to music, drawing, and traveling.

As soon as the nobles of the Empire found out that they were pregnant, they also took a break to a villa with a beautiful scenery for prenatal care.

"Well, wouldn't it be different for each person? The most important thing is that the mother is comfortable."

"Yeah... I guess."

"So don't feel too pressured. Whatever it is, making you happy is the way to a happy child."

"Thanks for the advice, Aunt."

I smiled and nodded, but my head was still tangled.

I couldn't even touch the food that looked delicious a while ago.

"Prenatal care..."

Why didn't I think of that?

I drank sweet and sour juice with a gloomy heart, but my mood did not improve.

Once settled, my mind stayed there until I returned to my bedroom after work.

"I heard woman can't control her emotions when she's pregnant. I'm sure this is like that, too."

Sitting in front of the table by the window, I comforted myself.

"Don't do this, I have to work."

Although it was a holiday, simple documents were prepared in the bedroom in case I was bored.

I turned the documents one by one, trying to shake off the thoughts that kept coming to my mind.

"Would it be better if I go to Chesail once?"

Shananet was doing well enough, but if mine development was to proceed quickly, I didn't think it would be bad idea to move myself.

"Oh, but long-distance travel wouldn't be good. At times like this, being pregnant is uncomfortable..."

Startled.

I talked to myself without realizing it.

It was also a word that came out without thinking.

However, it was also something that should not be said at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Your mother made a speech mistake. Really sorry."

I quickly stroked my stomach and apologized, but the child must have already heard.

"Am I really a mother?"

I was busy with work, and I didn't even think about prenatal care.

In addition, a mother who thinks her child is uncomfortable.

"This is... Mom is disqualified."

Suddenly, a drop of tears came down.

Do I really deserve to be a mother?

I buried my face in my hands.

Shananet left everything she was doing to her husband and devoted herself to prenatal care.

When I think about it, it was the same with Laurel.

Laurel, who was a shy girl, changed her mind as soon as she realized she had Marilyn.

She was careful about how she behaved in case anything dangerous might happen to her child, and she invited famous artists to her house to enjoy operas and works of art that she did not like very much.

But I.

"Ha."

A deep sigh flowed out.

Even at a time when I should have rested, I was busy with work.

There was also a time when the Matriarch of Lombardi and the Empress reduced sleep due to the greed that neither side wanted to neglect.

Maybe it was just that the child was strong enough to have had no problems so far.

"You must have had a hard time alone."

I patted my stomach and wiped my face with a handkerchief.

But it didn't work.

Because the tears flowed again soon.

I started to come up with measures to make time for prenatal care.

"I'm going to completely hand over the work of the family's head to Craney..."

I was speechless.

I don't want to do that.

It was the seat of the head of Lombardi that I had longed for.

Even if I took a break for a while, I wouldn't feel anxious about my position, but I didn't want to do so.

The positions as head of Lombardi and as Empress were things I had accomplished and I could not have imagined myself putting them down.

"Which one is right?"

Regardless of my will, I was annoyed by the tears flowing down.

I wiped my face a little nervously, but another fear rose.

"What should I do after I have a child?"

I didn't know how to be a good mother.

Even before reincarnation, I was not the type of person who grew up with the love of my parents.

Rather, it belonged to the side that was neglected and had a bad relationship.

In addition, since I was reincarnated here, I have grown up in the hands of my father.

I didn't know what a good mother looked like.

"It would have been nice if my mother was still alive at this time."

I shed more tears because I felt hopeless.

It was then.

"...Tia?"

As I looked up in a familiar voice, I could see Perez just entering the bedroom.

"Why... Why are you crying?"

Perez, contemplating as if what I was shedding was blood, not tears, strode up to me, knelt down on one of his knees, and comforted me.

"Tia, don't cry. I don't know what's going on, but I'll do something for you. Don't cry."

Perez said so and hugged me tight.

I felt that the familiar body temperature and scent gradually subside the feeling of swaying like a wave.

"Can you tell me now, Tia?"

"That's..."

I poured out the thoughts that had been cluttering my mind throughout the day.

It may be difficult to understand, but Perez patiently listened to me and swept my back.

"Therefore... I made a speech mistake. Uncomfortable."

I groaned and choked up at the tip of my nose.

And I spit out the thoughts that scared me the most.

"What if my child is born and I ruin it all? I'm not a good mother. What if I do something wrong to my child?"

"Tia."

Perez quietly swept my hair and got up from his seat.

"There's something that can help Tia."

Having said that, Perez came out with something in the bedroom drawer.

It was a thick notebook showing some signs of age.

"What's this?"

Perez answered, holding the note preciously in my hand.

"It's Tia's mother, Shan's diary." (TN: Oh my goodness. Her mother really prepared a lot for her future.)