Isekai Kaeri no Ossan wa, Fusei Sukiru de Fathercon Musume-tachi o Tororori ni

Her foolishness transcended normalcy and approaches the boundary of a girl in heat. She’s still just a high school brat, and I’d say it falls under my responsibility to guide her to the right path.

“That’s true. Now that it’s just the two of us, I’ll give it to you straight.” I said, my voice dignified despite the ticklish feeling her foot is giving me. “Continue doing this molester habit and you won’t grow up to be any good, you hear me?”

“That’s fine with me. Both my mom and my grandma had a kid when they were in their teens. I think it’s in my blood” quipped Rio, showing a defiant, self-deprecating smile. “I was proud that my mom was the youngest when I was in grade school. By the time I got to middle school, I get why she was the youngest, and I hated it immediately. It feels dirty…but right now, it feels normal. I know it’s such a stupid way to live, but at least it gets my feelings across.”

“What feeling?”

“That it wouldn’t be so bad to get pregnant and quit school early.” The tip of her toenails climbed up to my knee. “Studying is boring, and my classmates are asshats, so I don’t think having a shotgun wedding with you is such a bad idea.”

“You’re planning to make me a criminal? Think of your age.”

“I’m sixteen. Got any problem with that? As long as my parents are okay with it, we can get married. My mom got wedded with her boyfriend when she was my age, so I think she’ll give an okay in a snap, like “oh, I guess Rio’s going to do it too”. Besides, mom’s such a sheep that follows trends, and everyone’s got a sweet spot for entertainers. If I introduce you as my fiancée, she’ll be in the clouds in no time.” She said, tracing her toes down my calf. It feels like my leg is an ice cream cone and her toes are the tongue licking them up and down.

A saccharine chill crawls up my back, and at that moment I know we’re nearing a line we cannot cross.

“Stop it.”

The moment I raised my voice, the music played on the restaurant changed from that sung by a Japanese pop artist to a Western one.

This can’t be good.

I prepared to defend myself by covering my ear, but alas, it was a day late and a dollar short. The Language Understanding skill automatically activates, and the automatically translated lyrics came flowing to my head.

“Yer happy when ya lose a kilogram! Ya fall down and ya start laughin’ at yaself! Ya lyin ‘ere next to me, ah look at ya face and ah take a breath! I ain’t understand no marriage but dang if ah want a baby with ya BEIBEE!¹”

“Aren’t you smiling, Nakamoto-san?” Rio asked, puzzled. “What, looks like you’re entertaining the idea yourself, aren’t you? Alright then, I’ll touch you some more.”

The Language Understanding skill of mine somehow had an…odd disposition. Any language outside of that world would be translated with weird slangs and accent. Even English they use these days are roughly translated with Osaka dialect.

“Ah wantsta live out TONS a’ fun times with ya. Cookin’ some sh*t, be watchin’ some movies and give ya mah SEED as we make sum LOVE fulla LOVE ya feel!”

THIS is why I crossed out translating and interpreting from my career choice when I got back. If I were to listen to this the whole time, there’s no way I wouldn’t laugh. I won’t be able to fulfill the client’s expectation, so this skill is more of a handicap than an actual advantage.

“…Aren’t you having fun. You’re making me act up too now…It really gets you going knowing you can make another person feel good.”

“No…that’s not it…! I’m not grinning because you’re touching me…!”

“Oh you don’t need to be so reserved.”

Closing my ears had also dampened my communication with Rio, but if I open my ears now, my eardrums will be struck by the pleasant music of the restaurant.

As I was busy dealing with this conundrum, Rio began to dive under the table.

“Huh…?”

Crouching down between my legs, the teenage girl stretched her hand towards me, presenting a greater danger than ever before.

“…Hey, do you realize what you’re about to do now?” f𝓇𝘦e𝑤𝘦𝚋𝒏૦ѵℯ𝒍.c𝐨𝒎

“Yes, I’m about to open your zipper.”

I immediately place my hand on her forehead and tried to move her away from me. Any further and this joke would turn into a crime, so I briskly cast Concealment on us.

“Stop messing around! I know you might be out of your mind, but I believed you wouldn’t be this crazy!”

“I’ve no idea of common sense to begin with. Obviously since I was raised in that sh*thole of a household to begin with.”

“Do you realize you’re calling your brother a piece of sh*t as you say that!? Calm down!”

Despite my effort, Rio’s head keep inching closer to the boundary we can’t cross. Thankfully, the debuffs placed on me was enough to prevent my strength from snapping her neck.

“You’re crazier than usual today, you know that? You’re being careless compared to your usual antics!”

“Nah, it’s normal.”

“What do you mean!? I remember in the underwear selfie you sent earlier this morning you were wearing the same underwear you did yesterday! You at least would be decent enough to send different ones! I swear you aren’t in the right state of mind! Tell me what the hell happened!”

“So you noticed that, huh. Couldn’t expect less from you, Nakamoto-san. You’ve grown into a JK panty sommelier” yapped Rio, flashing a thin smile of resignation. It seems that I’ve managed to hurt her conscience a bit.

Now that she’s given me that weird title, I could only mourn for my life right now. My glass shard is now in fragments because of that one line.

Lifelessly retreating back to her seat, Rio looked at me powerlessly.

Why do I feel like I’ve just been through a battlefield…

The two of us heaved a sigh simultaneously, and Rio immediately collapsed to the table like a student sleeping through their class.

“Disappointed?” Rio asked, her face still buried on the table.

“Relatively. But if you did any more, I’d be even more worried.”

Her voice was shaky, as if she’s crying.

The store was still playing that weirdly humorous song on full blast, but it’s about time it gets old.

“Did something bad happen?”

The answer was…silence.

“I get what you’re feeling since I was just in a bad spot until recently, but you were desperate, weren’t you? I get that you’re trying to convey that you don’t care about what happens to yourself.”

She replied with a languid noise that she wasn’t serious about. It sounds more like her breath just happened to scratch her vocal cords that she accidentally made a voice.

“…I messed up at school.”

“In first grade?”

“I wanna quit.”

“Did you get bullied or something?”

“…didn’t go that far…being a student sucks…I wanna get married and skip to being a housewife” lamented Rio listlessly. “Nakamoto-san…take my hand-in marriage. I can do your housework for you.”

“I’ve got that taken care of.”

“Really…you’ve got that foreign girl living with you, huh. Did you do it with her already?”

Well that came out of the left field. Thank god we’re still concealed. Nobody can see or hear her.

“No. I’m her guardian.”

“Hmm…Even though she’s that cute? Is she not your type? Or are you strictly into Japanese people?”

“This had nothing to do with how she looks or where she’s from. The problem is her age. As if I’d lay my hands on a minor.”

“…sounds nice.”

“What does?”

“I know it sounds weird, but I want to sleep with someone who don’t want to sleep with me.”

“What?”

Rio lifts her face. Her eyes were read, indicating that she was crying even if it’s just a little.

“I think the old guys who think I’m still a child and so they won’t do it with me are charming. You fit the bill perfectly. I mean, you don’t even look at me with lust in your eyes. I want people like you to kiss me and touch me.”

“Aren’t you selfish.”

“Am I…? …maybe I am. Well…whatever.”

Rio stretched her arm, then patting my fingers. This time, her movement is not that of a bewitching woman, but instead that of a playful child touching her father figure.

“Don’t you think you just want to be spoiled?”

“…I don’t know.”

Rio seemed totally dispirited now. Knowing her recent message read “I want to see you”, it feels like she really was driven to a corner.

“What’s in your mind? I’ll at least lend you my ears.”

No wait, isn’t this that trope where the guy wins over a girl’s heart after listening to her worries?

Rio’s eyes gleamed as the System Message gave a pop up that says 【Affection points increased by 1,200】informing me about being late to realize.

“A boy confessed to me a while back.”

“Isn’t that good news?”

“A hot guy from the soccer club, idol of the school.”

“That’s definitely good news.”

“But he’s a playboy, and he’s not you. Obviously I wasn’t interested in him so I turned him down.” Rio gripped my finger and fiddled with it carelessly. “After the girls in my class heard about the news, they all antagonize me, which led us to today.”

“…that’s such a pain in the ass.”

“Right? Then the rumors start to get exaggerated, that I was leering at him, saying I had someone I liked and that’s why I turned him down.”

“Did you get bullied?”

“You think? For girls in my school, I’m one of the ones who are bigger physically, and I have that brother of mine on top of that. There’s no way any one of them will try to do something to me directly…but…” Rio averted her gaze. “No one would talk to me. Nobody hurt me physically, but they just act like I don’t exist. How do you think I’ve been spending lunch time these days? I shut myself in the library. Isn’t that funny? Those girls and the otakus of the school didn’t even dare come close.”

“That’s what we call bullying.”

“…is it now…”

“That’s right. Ignoring someone is more painful than a left hook.” fr𝚎e𝙬𝚎𝚋𝚗૦ν𝚎𝒍.c૦m

“Really…so it takes but a flash for you to fall down the school caste…” muttered Rio silently. “If you feel sorry for me, then marry me already. I’ll quit school immediately after that.”

“Now that’s going too far.”

“Isn’t that fine though? I can cook if I put my mind to it. I’m young, and I’m a virgin. Take it a step further; I never even dyed my hair. Don’t guys love that kind of girl?”

“Each has their own preferences.”

“…What does that even mean? Don’t tell me you’ve already got another black-haired virgin high school girl who can cook living together with you?”

“O-o-o-o-o-o-of course not!”

“That’s what I thought. I didn’t think you would have the charisma of an underground sex crime gang boss. You’re not Gondou.”

The girl muttered what should I do… as she folds her arms and looks towards the ceiling. The ceiling was high, and it was decorated and illuminated nicely.

No matter how strong I am, I’m still close to powerless in terms of helping a rocky relationship between high schoolers, even more so between girls. I really want to cheer her up, but there’s nothing I can do right now.

“…I might cheer up if I can have sex with you, Nakamoto-san…”

There’s nothing I can do right now…!