Memoirs of the Returnee

Spectrum

Every magical creature on the continent possess an unique color.

This is referred to as the talent in magic, the 「Spectrum」.

This is why, even when using the same amount of mana, some can control a golem the size of a house, some can create life, while others barely exceed the utility of trash…

Spectrum is a crucial factor in evaluating magic, so those with a trashy Spectrum are pathetic.

Like me, sprawled out in this abandoned factory.

“Ah. My Spectrum is really Notepad, isn’t it?”

■ │

A blank white window appears in my retina. This empty sheet, visible only to me, records and stores the sentences I think of. Once saved, the content can be recalled anytime, anywhere.

So, it’s a 「Notepad」.

This is my Spectrum.

Damn it.

“I had nothing else to do with it, so I wrote a diary? This fucking Notepad. It’s no help even when I’m dying.”

Thanks to this, I’m dying. To be precise, I’m on the brink of death, but it’s all the same.

I can’t feel anything below my neck. My stomach is split open and blood is gushing out, but there’s no pain. It meant my cervical spine was completely severed.

Is it a good thing that it doesn’t hurt?

—You miserable bug.

A deep voice that seems to scrape the throat echoes in the empty factory.

It sounds like what a wolf would sound like if it could talk, and its actual appearance is a werewolf, a human body with limbs transformed like a beast.

That bastard’s Spectrum. 「Beastification」 or something along those lines.

“You’re getting too much attention for a bug.”

In contrast, mine’s a 「Notepad」.

I can take notes anytime, anywhere. Even on the brink of death, I can write all sorts of curses about this bastard, right?

It’s something to be proud of.

I asked the wolf.

“Did the chairman order this?”

—Ha. Do you think the Chairman cares about you? A bug like you?

“A little, I guess. I know ‘Libra’ well. I’m from Libra, too.”

Libra. The continent’s top prestigious family and the current Chairman’s family.

The individual who possesses the power to flatten the Gert mountain range with a single word is my enemy.

—…Shion Ascal. You overestimate yourself. You don’t even know them.

It was my personal grudge.

They made me an orphan. They twisted my life too much.

“What do you mean I don’t know? The only one who knows Libra as well as I do is that cripple, right?”

At that, the wolf stood up straight. Fur sprouted all over his face. His mouth lengthened, and his pupils turned yellow.

A complete werewolf.

—Don’t delude yourself. You’ve never been a enemy to Libra. Not even a threat.

“Ah, well, let’s say that’s true. I’m a patient, after all.”

At nine, I had a brain tumor, somehow overcame it, at thirteen, leukemia, miraculously survived, and at eighteen, I even had Cancer of the Magic’s Core… My life is this miraculous.

“Oh, right. Have you ever seen the Chairman?”

—…

Silence.

Probably a denial.

“Never? You’ve served for seven years and never seen her?”

—Shut up.

“Well, she’s a nobleman who can count her public appearances on one hand. I’ve seen her three times.”

—…Three times?

The wolf’s forehead wrinkled. He seemed quite curious.

“Yeah. Once when I graduated from elementary school. Once on the day she was elected as a representative. Once on the day of her first attendance at the assembly.”

—What was the Chairman like?

The wolf’s tongue flickers. Its eyes widen slightly, and its tail wags.

Just like a puppy thinking about its owner.

“Hmm…”

I found myself momentarily lost in recollection.

The days when I had seen the Chairman. The scenes when I faced the owner of the family I despised fiercely.

“Well.”

It feels too much like defeat to harbor such feelings even in the brink of death, but I have to admit it.

“I can’t express it with words.”

She had something beyond beauty… a mystique as if she held some sacred value.

“She’s like a deity. So, I somewhat understand why you guys are fanatically loyal.”

—…Your life must have been satisfying.

“Quit spouting nonsense.”

My eyes shot open at the wolf’s ridiculous words.

Satisfying, my ass. Of course, it wasn’t satisfying.

Living as a carrier of diseases, not a human, spending my entire life fighting illnesses and struggles, there’s no way I could have found satisfaction in a life that was fading away.

If there really is a God, I’ll curse him until I die.

The wolf snorted.

—In the end, you clung to an impossible task. A bug like you bothered the mountain.

“…”

He might be right.

My own efforts, the attempts to dig up Libra’s corruption and bring their crimes to the surface.

They were nothing more than boisterous noise from a drunk.

The public quickly forgot the blood-soaked voices of those Libra had killed, they didn’t even try to remember, and my colleagues turned their backs on me.

I knew from the start that it was a fight I couldn’t win.

“…But in the end, I got something useful.”

—You still haven’t come to your senses. I told you not to delude yourself. Your death is the will of the chairman. The chairman considers you as a speck of dust-

“Yeah, yeah.”

I tilted my head back. I leaned my head against the cold concrete wall.

A somehow empty wind blew in through the broken window of the factory.

Then, I grinned and bared my teeth.

“Do you see this?”

—…

The white crystal lodged in my front tooth. The wolf’s eyes narrow as it looks at it.

It’s a prototype of the new magical compound developed by Libra — ‘Perion’.

The source and the core of the top-tier body mana enhancer that will soon be mass-produced.

—What are you expecting to do with that now?

“Give me some credit. I went through a lot to steal this.”

In fact, the reason I’m dying here is because of this.

If I had kept quiet, I could have lived for about a month longer.

So, it’s a life that would have lasted at most a month.

The cancer in my body was already destroying me.

“Well, the new magical compound Perion that also enhances the essence? Is it helpful in dungeon exploration? You guys are promoting it like crazy, but how many people did you kill to make this? You even used homeless people and orphans for your clinical trials, you bastards.”

Ah!

I bit into the Perion.

Chomp! Chomp!

I chewed it ostentatiously and swallowed.

There’s no sensation of something surging, even though it’s supposed to be an enhancer. Even though it’s definitely a lethal dose, my body feels slightly hot and my vision is spinning.

Ah, maybe it’s because my nerves were all severed.

I spat at him.

“Ptui! You bastard. This is a billion Ren loss for Libra.”

—…We have Perion prototypes at each continental branch. That means we’ve made ten more just like it.

“…”

—We’re not like you.

I stared blankly at the wolf. He was staring back at me.

A sigh welled up from within.

“Ah~ Shit. You bastards are the worst.”

In the end, I couldn’t do anything.

I couldn’t even scratch them, let alone get revenge. Just like this wolf bastard said, I’m just a bug that’s slightly annoying and irritating.

That’s all I am.

—…

“What are you looking at? Just kill me. My tongue is getting twisted.”

Scrape— He raised his claw. Moonlight seeped into the sharp edge.

“Hey. You bastard. If you ever meet the Chairman, tell her this for me.”

I smiled silently.

“I hope… you live well in this shitty world.”

His finger flashed under my eyes.

It pierced my throat.

This bastard.