MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

Both the Empress and the Noble Mermaid were incredibly disappointed with Jack. Trying to befriend both at the same time? How distasteful!

“You, how dare you!”

The bystanders grimaced at his foolishness.

[Affinity Value With Mermaids Quickly Sinking!]

“Commander, you should quickly apologize! The two have fought for so long that reconciliation is impossible.” Jack’s men urged him, worried.

Anyone would have cowered, but not Jack! Instead, he took a deep breath.

“Apologize? I won’t. Tsk — Tsk — This is like the clam and the oyster’s tragedy again.” He shook his head, disappointed.

“Clam? Oyster?” Their interest was piqued as he began narrating.

“There was once a divine clam and a godly oyster, both so beautiful that all the sea creatures would scramble to peer at their ethereal beauty….”

“Anyone that saw them bowed a thousand times and swore they would never forget their sight. At first, they were content, but they soon began wondering who looked prettier….”

“That’s when they began competing, trying to attract the most attention. All their efforts were soon spent on this rivalry, and they never saw him coming!”…

“A covetous and devious fisherman waited for them to exhaust their strength infighting, and then…BAM! He captured them, put them into an aquarium, and then—

— Gulp! —

The listeners couldn’t help but picture themselves in the place of the poor clam and oyster….and by now, even the slowest ones realized he was actually referring to the ladies.

Still, it wasn’t his place to criticize them. The guards gripped their weapons tighter, ready for a confrontation.

“Do you truly believe that?” The Empress’ tone was icy.

“Belief? No, experience. Complacency is the number one reason that dynasties fall. Wouldn’t you agree?” He didn’t show the slightest remorse.

[Animosity Lowered Significantly! But How?!]

[Can Stories Offset Disrespect?!]

Disrespect? What disrespect? He was speaking the truth from the start! Hopefully, praising their beauty would help the message come across, but even he couldn’t predict the result:

1. They’d believe him unconditionally

2. They’d remain mostly neutral and ask for proof

3. They’d decide to chop his head right here and now

But then a Mermaid chimed in…

“Snort! A nice fairytale? Nothing but the yapping of a scared little man! He’s so terrified by the mighty Gargan that he’s getting desperate, spinning lies to beg for survival!”

“What?! Commander is fearless and wise beyond!—” What was once a civilian fish didn’t hesitate one bit before talking back, protecting his new hero’s honor.

“Insolent!” It was one thing for Jack to defend himself, but now even commoners were doing the same?! Where was the reverence toward their superiors?!

At this rate, a war would erupt right here!

Guards VS Jack’s Protégés

Such loyalty! A Noble gave a scheming grin as she gestured to her personal guards.

“Cut their tongues for their insolence, all of them!” This was the perfect plan to reveal Jack’s violent side, and then— He’d be punished!

The guards didn’t hesitate, cold steel gleaming powerfully. They weren’t worried one bit. What could a bunch of weaklings do to them? Nothing! They’d simply—

— Throw! GUSH!!! —

Except that one such weakling suddenly threw a small round ball. A second later, purple fog gushed everywhere in the room, turning it into a complete mess.

“Bastards! Fight fairly!”

“Dumbass, do you think I’m stupid!”

“Haha, there you are! Talking was a mistake you— WHAT?!”

The clanging of weapons against the cold stone and sturdy coral armor resounded as the two groups failed to breach their enemies’ defense or even find the time.

It was turning into one incredible shitshow! But then—

“ENOUGH!” The Empress’ shout dissipated it all, revealing the combatants reduced to scared children under her sharp gaze. They had done fucked up!

The Empress’ wrath would befall them and—

“Sigh…I see what you mean now. While we fight for trifles, our enemies are growing stronger by the second. Tiara, what do you think about a truce…for now at least.”

— Gasps! —

How crazy! The two working together was akin to throwing water in an oily cooking pan: it was a recipe for disaster! There was no way this would happen!

“And Boss me around?! Pah, I don’t think so! I’ll—”

“I’ll join your faction, Empress!” Jack interrupted.

“WHAAAT?! Why?!”

“My strength lies in strategy…. there’s no point in me following someone that won’t listen to my advice no matter how pretty or powerful she is.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“You!! How can you be so cocky when Gargan wants you dead.” The Noble grumbled, resolved to have the last word.

She expected to see terror on his face, but Jack instead erupted in wild laughter. Not only

“Pfft— Hahaha! Gargan? Just him?! Yes, he’s very strong, but so what?! Literal Gods want me dead. What’s a tall seahorse compared to that. Pfft— Nice joke!”

0_0

What a blatant lie!…it was a lie, right…right?!

And yet, as his troops heard this, they all nodded in realization, not surprised in the least. They knew how irksome he could be to his enemies with his schemes.

But then they couldn’t help but become slightly nervous… “Psst— Commander. Did a human god perhaps curse you?! Will you be fine?” They asked, worried.

“Me? Of course! It’s the gods that should fear me. Their power gets weaker the more of their followers I kill, you know.”

— Silence… —

What kind of statement was this?!

It made sense logically…and yet it seemed so over the top. At this moment, thousands of “Bluff rolls” had to be going on in the background.

As for the main offender, he simply kept staring peacefully at the “Tiara” Mermaid. ‘So, what will you decide?’

“Tch— FINE! I’ll agree to a temporary truce, but only for the sake of our race!” She exclaimed loudly as she cutely pouted.

[Truce Established Between both Factions! +Diplomacy!]

[Questline Utterly Destroyed!]

[Recalibrating! Error! Error!]

Sigh, was there a need to be so melodramatic? All he had done was to select his own path, a completely new one from the given options.

“In any case, now that we’re on the same page. Here’s what we’ll do….” The Empress spoke while the Nobles suggested.

Many were so eager to give suggestions to the new coalition that they seemed like excited kids. They all wanted to make sure they were still relevant at the Palace.

Jack took a backseat for once as he attentively listened, chiming in from time to time. He gave just enough suggestions to appear wise yet avoid revealing too much.

Heck, he even gave laid traps for them.

He’d suggest courses of action that appeared unbelievably ingenious and would 100% win them the war…if the enemy didn’t know the strategy to counter it instantly!

Strategist of Jack’s Caliber —> DEATH!

Then he was finally realized from this impromptu meeting, fending off any talk about marriage for now and just pocketing the pearls.

He had barely taken a step outside of the Castle when he was swarmed!

“Commander, come drink with us!”

“We need to celebrate killing all those humans!”

“Bah! I’m celebrating how awesome our leader is! Did you see how he dealt with the arrogant Nobles?! Freaking hero!”

After the tension inside, his troops were unleashing all the joy from the success, the treasure, but most importantly the glory.

They all waited for his answer with bated breaths.

“Sigh, Alright.”

“VICTORY! Hahahaha!”

Right now, he just happened to need a drink, many in fact. There was nothing like a public tavern expedition to solve his current problem.

He was being stalked.

Not by one, not by two, but by a dozen wannabe spies. They were either too obvious or revealed by their colleagues’ lack of skills, but that didn’t stop them from trailing him.

How many were there even?

– A killer

– Possibly a fan

– Some jealous girl

– Others just there to observe?

…. Way too many! At this rate, he’d singlehandedly make any tavern flourish just by showing up. Between his troops and his stalkers, the shop would be filled completely!

He kept leading the way until they reached a very strange bar. The entire thing was a reverse pool, a large air bubble allowing the aquatic beings to surface to get their drinks.

They’d quickly take shots, then swim back down in the comfort of the water. Whether they managed to swim in a straight line depended on their level of drunkenness.

Jack forgot all his problems…

“Another toast! This one is to the brave men that repelled the human enemy!”

“All thanks to you, Commander! Cheer!”

The group couldn’t be rowdier, and Jack couldn’t have been more drunk. He soon began slurring his words, overly smiling, and becoming way too friendly with others.

“~Heyyy! Wanna be my friend? Please be my friend! Your scales are so slick. I need you as a friend for sure! Ah, right, we should celebrate, celebrate…our meeting! YES!”

He kept awkwardly swimming his way to others, talking way too much about pumpkin cookies. Many chuckled seeing his state, jokingly answering his innocent questions.

The Noble Family selling the pumpkin cookies was a newly created one, an old relative of the royal family coming back to set shop… or so the people said.

1. Very mysterious

2. Noble lineage

3. Dark secret?

Sadly it seemed like the common people didn’t know much about such a topic. They were already way too busy dealing with their own lives.

“This was fun, guys, but…What was I saying again? Right! I’m going for a walk, take are you all, hehehehe!” Jack was completely wasted as he rose and awkwardly left the pub.

A few seconds later, a man coincidentally left too, a scheming light in his eyes.

[Acquired Title: Drunk Even When 100% Sober!]

[User Is Tricking People Again!]