impermanence of life
Grandma passed away today at the age of 86.
At around 2 o'clock in the afternoon, the blacksmith hurried to see him for the last time.
The blacksmith's grandmother lost recognition five years ago due to Alzheimer's disease.
Yesterday's spirit was relatively good, but this morning it took a turn for the worse, and I couldn't swallow food or drink water.
In terms of relatives, the family of the two aunts and the author's parents are either Zhengyang or just Yangkang.
Only the blacksmith himself has not had an impotence, and his daughter-in-law happened to be pregnant during this period, and now she is 8 weeks + 2 days pregnant, and the pregnancy is very serious, vomiting, loss of appetite, and not much willing to eat.
Every day, the blacksmith is responsible for buying vegetables, cooking and taking care of her personally, so she is more careful in daily life, for fear of being caught in the first trimester.
As grandchildren, from "delivering grass" (a local custom process, the younger generation bids farewell to the deceased elder) to the funeral, they cannot be absent for five days before and after.
Filial piety cannot be abandoned. The author is not afraid of being recruited. The only worry is that it will affect his wife and children. The early pregnancy itself is the most careful stage in the pregnancy cycle.
At this moment, Tie has realized what it means to have the old and the young, and both sides have responsibilities that cannot be fulfilled, and the problem cannot be solved simply by being alone.
Difficult, difficult, difficult.
My heart is also more chaotic.
sad, depressed.
Death is like a lamp going out, and all thoughts are turned to ashes.
I took 1 to 3 days off to adjust my emotions. Now I am sitting in front of the computer desk like a puppet, a little sluggish. After typing this sentence, my heart is still full of indescribable frustration.
This depression may be the sadness of grandma's death, or the confusion of witnessing birth, old age, sickness and death.
In the face of death, everything seems meaningless.