My Mister Ostrich

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

Who told you to have the last name Pang? Should I just call you Pang Pang in the future?

The bell rang, and Pang Qian couldn’t sit still any longer. Wang Tingting turned around and shouted, “Crab (pangxie), come out to play in the snow!”

“Crab” was Pang Qian’s nickname. In her class, everyone aside from Gu Mingxi called her that.

Then what did Gu Mingxi call her? Did he call her by her given name?

Of course not.

Pang Qian pushed away her books hurriedly. Then she jumped up and ran out after Wang Tingting. Then she suddenly thought of something, and turned back to ask Gu Mingxi, “Do you want to come with?”

Gu Mingxi was seated at his desk the whole time. He turned to look outside the window, then looked over at Pang Qian. In the end, he shook his head, “I’m not going.”

Pang Qian laughed to him, then ran out of the classroom, holding hands with Wang Tingting.

E City counted as being in the south. Although every winter had snow, it was usually a rain-snow mix. It would fall for a few hours, but not even a few cm of snow would accumulate. For adults, a big snowstorm as this caused them to worry about food prices and slippery ice. But for kids, this was really a chance in a lifetime.

There were only 10 minutes between classes, but nearly the entire student body had gone out to the playground. They ran around and played, full of merriment, having a snowball fight. Pang Qian led the girls and some boys into battle. Balls of snow went flying. Everyone’s clothes and hands got all wet, but no one minded.

Gu Mingxi stood at the window, looking down at the playground the whole time. Unconsciously, he searched around for his classmate amidst the kids. And he easily spotted Pang Qian from the group.

Her clothes were eye-catchingly red, and she ran with great vigor. Even from so far away, Gu Mingxi could actually hear her laughter.

It was time for class again, and the students all reluctantly returned to class.

Out of breath, Pang Qian sat down next to Gu Mingxi. Her braids were wet, and her cheeks were flushed. She had a sly look to her expression. Gu Mingxi asked her, “Was it fun?”

“Not fun. The snow was really muddy, it was all dark.” Pang Qian blinked, and said, “I wanted to make a snowman, but there wasn’t any snow. Everyone used it all to play.”

“Oh.” Gu Mingxi saw Pang Qian lower her head, but didn’t know what she was doing. Curious, he asked, “What are you doing?”

Pang Qian suddenly reached out her hand. Just as the teacher walked into the classroom, she threw the ice balls in her hand at Gu Mingxi.

With nowhere to hide, Gu Mingxi took the hit straight on.

In a flash, he stood up on the ground, barefoot. His chair was knocked over with a bam. The teacher who was speaking jumped in fright. All the students turned back and looked at them with surprise.

Pang Qian covered her mouth and laid on the table, laughing. Gu Mingxi stood beside the desk, expressionless and in a daze for a moment. Then he pulled his chair back up with his foot and took a seat, as if nothing had happened. 𝑓𝑟eℯ𝒘𝗲𝑏n𝑜𝚟𝙚𝒍.𝒄o𝐦

The class turned back around, and the teacher started class.

There was still a trace of ice on Gu Mingxi’s forehead. After they melted, the ice water ran down his cheeks. But he didn’t pay any attention to it. He just bent his body and opened his book with his foot. His right foot picked up his pen.

After awhile, Pang Qian started pulling at his sleeve, but he ignored her. Pang Qian used her pen to poke his waist, his back, and even his left thigh. Gu Mingxi tried twisting away, but couldn’t avoid her. He turned and glared at her, whispering, “Stop messing around.”

Pang Qian pursed her lips, withdrawing her pen. She muttered, “So petty.”

When school was over, the snow had already stopped. Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi went home together.

After passing through the gates to the metals factory, Gu Mingxi spotted a patch of thick snow that hadn’t been plowed away.

He called out to Pang Qian, who was swaying about ahead, “Didn’t you say you wanted to build a snowman? You can build one here.”

Pang Qian turned around and looked for a moment, “Forget it. It’s no fun to play by myself. There’s no point.”

Gu Mingxi said unhappily, “I’m not a person?!”

Pang Qian never hesitated when speaking to him. “You don’t have arms, how can you build it?”

Unsatisfied with that, Gu Mingxi said, “I can build it with my legs!”

Having said that, he’d already headed over to the snow pile.

He was wearing a beige colored cotton jacket, his backpack on his back, two empty cotton sleeves swinging on either side of him. Behind him, Pang Qian stood watching him. Gu Mingxi suddenly turned around and shouted, “Come on! Fattie, are you going to build or not?”

Pang Qian’s hair frizzled. Stomping on the ground, “I told you not to call me Fattie!”

Gu Mingxi’s mouth turned up, his smile revealing two small teeth. He said, “I’ll call you if I want to. Fattie, Fattie, Fattie…”

Pang Qian ran after him with chagrin, as if wanting to hit him. Gu Mingxi turned and ran. The two sleeves at his sides fluttered intensely, just like two little wings. When the two kids neared the pile of snow, Pang Qian reached out and pulled at Gu Mingxi’s backpack. He staggered and fell onto the soft snow.

He lay on the ground, facing the sky, his body sunken into the snow. He inhaled the smell of winter surrounding him, and gasped lightly. Pang Qian threw the two backpacks to the side, then stepped onto the flower bed. Like a queen, she condescendingly said to Gu Mingxi, “I’m not fat anymore! You can’t call me Fattie!”

Gu Mingxi smiled again, eyes clear and bright. Lazily, he said, “Who told you to have the last name Pang? Should I just call you Pang Pang in the future?”

Her last name is the character páng (庞). He calls her pàng pàng (胖胖), which means “fat.” Calling her by her last name is kind of the same anyway, isn’t it? Hahaha!

That’s right, Pang Qian used to be very fat.

And before the age of 6, Gu Mingxi was a very healthy child.

Not only healthy, he was also smart, beautiful, lively, and loved by all.

This was where he was different from Pang Qian.

On an August afternoon in 1985, the weather was unbearably hot. In the maternity ward of a hospital in E City, Jin Ai’hua spent a day and night in pain, but was still unable to birth her daughter. In the end, she was pulled into the operating room and cut open.

When Pang Shuisheng first saw his daughter, he jumped in shock. The baby girl was rounder than any other child, with a lot of dark hair on her head. Her face was full and glowing. There weren’t any wrinkles on her skin at all. She was 51 cm long, 9.8 jin (4.9 kg / 10.8 lb), the champion baby of the hospital that month. The nine jin girl.

Pang Shuisheng was carrying the baby girl in his arms for a stroll in the hallway, when Gu Guoxiang and his wife came to visit. When Li Han saw the fat baby in Pang Shuisheng’s arms, she laughed until her eyes curved. Teasing the baby in her arms who had just turned 1 year old, “Mingxi, Mingxi, look. This is your wife.”

Gu Mingxi’s eyes widened and glimmered. He looked at the fat baby wrapped in cloth, as if he had seen a fun toy to play with. He laughed as he waved his two arms nonstop.

The nine jin girl who had been sleeping suddenly opened her eyes, and opened her mouth wide to yawn. Her nose wrinkled, she tossed her hands and legs. Then she started crying with a cry that could shake the earth.

Gu Mingxi looked questioningly at her. After a moment, he pulled his arm back into his mother’s embrace.

Mommy! This wife is really scary! Can we return her?

>o<

Pang Shuisheng gave his nine jin daughter the name Pang Qian.

His education only went up to junior high, he wasn’t very cultured. He picked the name almost randomly (without much thought), following the names of the time, like Zhang Hong, Chen Lan, Li Juan, Wang Yan. Not at all like the name that Gu Guoxiang and Li Han gave their son, Gu Mingxi. Their son was born on the lunar year’s Qixi day, and they added a ming to commemorate it. It sounded nice and there was a meaning behind it.

Qixi is a festival on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month. The xi (夕) character from Mingxi’s name comes from Qixi, and means “dusk” or “evening.” The ming (铭) character means to inscribe something. Hence, his name is like something commemorating his birth.

Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi both grew up in the Golden Compound. The relationship between the two families grew greater and greater. If one family had urgent matters to attend to, they would just leave their child with the other family for the time.

So regardless of Gu Mingxi’s will, he often spent time with Pang Qian.

They ate together, drew together, played together, watched films together, and they even bathed together.

But even if they wore the same open-crotch pants and ate the same rice, it couldn’t stop them from growing in two different directions. To put it simply, as Gu Mingxi grew taller, he grew better looking. And because Pang Qian’s base weight was so heavy already, as she grew taller, she grew fatter.

A little girl who was only just 3 years old had become the Golden Compound’s fattest child. Her appetite was just too big. She could eat several mantou (buns) for one meal, and she especially loved to eat meat. Add onto it that her last name was Pang, in the compound, she slowly gained the nickname of “Fat Pang.” Fat Pang, Fat Pang (páng pàng) eventually just turned into “Fattie” (pàng pàng).

Only Pang Qian’s grandparents didn’t feel that there was anything to be concerned over. Old folks just thought that a kid that loves to eat was a good thing. But Pang Shuisheng and Jin Ai’hua were worried to death, especially because they would see the 4 year old Gu Mingxi across the hall every day.

Gu Mingxi was in kindergarten. He had gotten all the good points of Gu Guoxiang and Li Han’s appearance, very pretty and cute. Moreover, he had inherited Gu Guoxiang’s smarts, a very clever kid. In school, whether it was singing, dancing, counting, or telling stories, he was always the fastest learner.

Everyone liked Gu Mingxi. He was obedient, smart, polite, and rarely acted naughty. In the Golden Compound, whenever anyone mentioned Gu Guoxiang’s son, all they had to say were praises. They all said he would have a very successful future. As for Pang Shuisheng’s daughter, people could only shake their heads and sigh.

Pang Qian was greedy, lazy, always causing trouble, and she had a bad temper. Because she was fat, it was hard to buy clothes for her. Her family would often re-purpose their old clothes for her. That meant that she rarely had new clothes to wear, let alone pretty dresses. So the ugly and fat Pang Qian slowly became the loneliest child in the Golden Compound.

Only Gu Mingxi was willing to play with her.

Obviously, Pang Qian really liked Gu Mingxi. Little kids, you know, they all like to play with older kids. Moreover, Gu Mingxi was beautiful and smart. But to be honest, Gu Mingxi wasn’t exactly close to Pang Qian.

Li Han always said, “Mingxi, Qian Qian’s your little sister. You can’t bully her, you have to take her with you to play.”

This caused Gu Mingxi great distress. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to play with her, but rather, the other kids in the Golden Compound were all unwilling to play with her.

So, when Gu Mingxi was ordered to take Pang Qian down to play, what you would usually see is a group of 4 and 5 year olds following him around to play. And Pang Qian would be sitting by the flowerbed, waiting for him.

She was too lazy to run, and she couldn’t run.

Outside the Golden Compound, there was a big piece of land, with a big flower garden. There was also a camphor tree planted there. To the right of that land, there was a small bicycle shed. At the edge, there was a small house, and an old 60 something year old man lived there. His surname was Zeng, and he was a retired employee of the metal company. He’d never been married in his lifetime. After he retired, he applied to be the gatekeeper for the Golden Compound.

Old Zeng lived by himself, so his meals were rather simple. He had a briquette stove set up at the door of his house and made a pot of stew. Inside, he would add chicken feet, eggs, chicken wings, and chicken gizzards. After it was done, he’d have enough to eat for several days.

The fragrance of the stew would get carried through the wind, and Pang Qian would smell this as she sat by herself. Finally, one day, she walked over to Old Zeng’s house, and saw the delicious pot of bubbling stew on the briquette stove.

Old Zeng knew all the people in the compound, so naturally, he recognized Pang Qian. Seeing the saliva nearly dripping from the fat child’s mouth, he scooped out an egg from the stew and gave it to her. Afraid she might get scalded, he even wrapped it up with paper.

Pang Qian was very happy, grabbing onto the egg with two little hands, carrying it back to the flower garden as if it were some kind of treasure. The egg was very hot and fragrant, so she couldn’t eat it. She sat there, and from time to time, she wold poke the egg, licking her lips to moisten them before swallowing her saliva.

Her odd behavior attracted the attention of two 6 or 7 year old kids. They were Zhang Jiaqi and Fu Liang. They ran over to Pang Qian’s side, and quickly saw the egg that she held in her hands.

The two boys became greedy. Zhang Jiaqi picked a flower from the garden and held it in front of Pang Qian, saying, “Fattie, I’ll give you this, and you give me that egg.”

Pang Qian looked at him, and without saying anything, tightened her hold on the egg.

Fu Liang held out his Sun Wukong (Monkey King) toy to give to Pang Qian. “I’ll let you borrow my toy, give your egg to me.”

Pang Qian glanced around and then shook his head.

Since their exchanges were unsuccessful, they could only resort to intimidation. Zhang Jiaqi said, “Fattie, if you don’t give that egg to me, then I’m going to tell your parents that you stole Grandpa Zeng’s egg!”

Pang Qian anxiously replied, “I didn’t steal!”

Fu Liang made a face at her. “You did steal it!”

He and Zhang Jiaqi wiggled their butts and started to sing loudly the song that the children in the compound had made up. “Fattie is a big, fat pig. She eats three bowls of rice at every meal! Fattie’s butt is as big as a washbasin. When she walks, she’s like a waddling duck! Fattie’s farts are really smelly that it killed the village’s cow!”

Pang Qian held onto her egg tightly with both hands, glowering at the two of them.

When they finished singing, Zhang Jiaqi stuck his butt out at Fu Liang, and made a “pu” sound. Fu Liang pretended like he was being suffocated by a smelly fart and leapt up.

They both laughed. Pang Qian finally couldn’t hold back her tears.

She wiped away her tears as she wanted to get up to go home, but Zhang Jiaqi and Fu Liang wouldn’t let her go. They closed in on her, wanting to steal her egg. Pang Qian suddenly was also angry and went to blows with them.

That was the scene that Gu Mingxi saw as he returned to the compound with a group of kids. He dropped the branches in his hands, and rushed over without hesitation. With force, he pulled away Fu Liang who was grabbing onto Pang Qian’s braids.

Zhang Jiaqi and Fu Liang didn’t think much about the 5 year old Gu Mingxi. He wanted to help Fattie? Then they’d beat him up!

How could two kindergartners beat two kids in elementary school? The egg in Pang Qian’s hands finally fell to the ground, and her piercing scream brought Old Zeng over to them. He sent the two big kids away, and dispersed the group of younger kids. And finally, he helped the beaten-up Gu Mingxi, who was sprawled on the ground, get on his feet.

Squatting next to the broken egg, Pang Qian became more and more distressed, her crying louder and louder. Gu Mingxi looked down at his torn up sleeves and then looked over at Pang Qian, whose braids had been pulled all over. And then he reached out his hand to her, “Fattie, stop crying. I’ll take you home.”

After crying a bit more, Pang Qian finally stood up, sniffling, and held on tightly to Gu Mingxi’s hand.

In Pang Qian’s memories, this was one of the few times that she and Gu Mingxi held hands. Most of time, she was the one to grab onto his hand, and he was the one to pull away. The Gu Mingxi back then was very proud and reserved. He received the favor of all the girls in kindergarten. He was like a shining prince, so it wasn’t so easy for him to be won over.

But at the time, neither of them would have thought that in the future, once he would want to hold her hand, he would be powerless to do so.