My Mister Ostrich

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

Why are you so angry? It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.

Around noon, there were much fewer people around. The convention attendees had mostly gone out to eat lunch, and the staff and other participants were also having lunch and resting. There weren’t many people in the corridor, but as for the washroom situation… Pang Qian really didn’t know what to do.

She had indeed said before that she could help Gu Mingxi use the washroom. She’d always thought that it wouldn’t be a big deal.

But when Gu Mingxi actually asked her for her help, Pang Qian felt a bit hesitant.

She stammered, “C-can’t y-you go to the b-bathroom on your own? Last night, and this morning, you went by yourself.”

Gu Mingxi’s face was completely red from holding in. Sweat dripped down his face. With clenched teeth, “I can’t hold it in anymore. If I have to use my feet to take off my pants, it will take too long…”

Pang Qian quickly said, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?! I’ll go get Xie Yi to help.”

She was about to run off when Gu Mingxi called, “Pang Pang!”

Pang Qian turned around and saw Gu Mingxi’s pitch black eyes. He said in a quiet voice, “Don’t get Xie Yi, okay?”

Pang Qian stood a bit dumbfounded, but Gu Mingxi didn’t have the time for zoning out. He’d already walked into the men’s washroom. The way he walked was very awkward, and it was obvious that he was reaching his tolerance limit. Pang Qian stood outside the door for a few seconds, looked around to make sure no one was watching her, and just charged into the restroom.

It wasn’t the first time that she’d gone into a male washroom. When they were in elementary school, the girls in Pang Qian’s class were very fierce. She wasn’t sure whether the boys were really scared of them, or if they just couldn’t be bothered with them. In any case, whenever class ended, the girls would go chasing after the boys. Some of the boys got hit too badly, and they would run off into the boys’ washroom to hide. The girls would block the entrance and call them cowards. Pang Qian, though, fearlessly ran into the boys’ washroom to kick them all out.

Once, she even ran into a teacher urinating. Actually, she hadn’t seen anything, but the teacher still dragged her to the teacher’s office and gave her a severe lecturing.

The washroom in the convention center was pretty big. There was a row of eight or nine urinals along the wall. Aside from Gu Mingxi, there were also two men inside. One was urinating, the other was washing his hands.

The man washing his hands turned and saw Pang Qian. After staring in confusion for a moment, he looked at the urinals and then reminded her, “Little girl, you’ve gone into the wrong washroom.”

Pang Qian’s face went completely red. With an “Mm” sound, she walked back out. She waited for the two men to leave and then ran into the washroom once more. She saw Gu Mingxi standing in front of a urinal, in a bit of a daze.

Pang Qian opened the door to a stall and went inside. She called out quietly, “Gu Mingxi, come in!”

Gu Mingxi immediately walked inside and Pang Qian locked the stall door. She realized Gu Mingxi was in a difficult position, as he repeated, “Hurry, hurry! I can’t hold it in any longer.”

“Hey… Be quiet.” Pang Qian glared at him, then looked down and helped his pull down his pants.

The stall was pretty small, so it was rather crowded for the two of them. And they both had a big backpack on, so there was even less space.

Gu Mingxi’s pants had an elastic waistband so there wasn’t a zipper. Pang Qian lifted the hem of his t-shirt and calmly pulled his pants down to his thighs. Gu Mingxi’s dark grey underpants were exposed, wrapped around his…little bird.

At this age, children’s bodies started to develop. Pang Qian had learned in physical education class that the process that girls and boys developed was a bit different. Their Adam’s apple would develop, they would grow facial hair. She also discovered in junior high that their voices had also changed.

In the summer, everyone wore short sleeved shirts and shorts. Pang Qian would see some boys’ legs had grown thick with hair. Of course she couldn’t appreciate this kind of “male beauty.” Once, she quietly observed Gu Mingxi and Xie Yi’s legs. She was glad to find that, although they both had some hair growing on their legs, it was growing in a “gentle” manner.

Pang Qian’s body had also gone through great changes. Aside from the developments in her chest, those places that made people feel shameful had also started growing hair, and with time, it grew denser and darker.

Sometimes she would wonder curiously if it was the same for boys. Would they grow hair there? Then she wouldn’t be able to stop from recalling seeing Gu Mingxi’s body when she was younger. Between his white and delicate legs, there grew a little meaty thing. And then she would also recall that time that she was at Gu Mingxi’s house and saw that “inconceivable” video. Although she’d only seen a brief moment of it, but the image was really too shocking. She remembered very clearly that the adult man had something that she couldn’t understand at all. It was just like the grilled sausage that the school store sells…

“How do I do this?” Pang Qian stood to Gu Mingxi’s right. She looked down at that erect area and asked with a red face, “Do you need the underpants off?”

“No,” Gu Mingxi looked down, his face also completely red. He wasn’t sure how to direct Pang Qian either, but this wasn’t the time to get bashful. He really couldn’t hold it in any longer. His body had gone stiff, so he just directly said, “Just pull it down a bit. But turn away and don’t look.”

“…” Pang Qian turned her head away slightly and boldly pulled at the crotch of Gu Mingxi’s underpants. Something popped out and touched Pang Qian’s fingers. It was a bit cool and also had poking hairs… Her heart was beating anxiously, and she tried really hard not to look there. But she couldn’t suppress her strong sense of “curiosity,” and took advantage, while Gu Mingxi wasn’t paying attention, to sneak a glance.

But with that glance, she became petrified.

Gu Mingxi’s “little bird” was finally release and he finally felt relief. Although usually when Jian Zhe or Liu Hanlin helped him use the restroom, they would help hold his “little bird,” Pang Qian definitely wouldn’t do that. Still, Gu Mingxi was very satisfied.

He aligned himself to the toilet on the ground and relaxed his body, and the splashing sound of urination came.

Pang Qian was filled with anxiety. The sound of water falling continued for a long time before stopping. Then Gu Mingxi said, “I’m done.”

His voice was thoroughly relaxed, though somewhat uncomfortable. Pang Qian reached out, intending to help him put back his underpants, but then she accidentally touched there– She was very surprised, really very surprised! Because the thing she’d seen earlier had gotten bigger and harder, but after she touched it, it went soft again…

Pang Qian was puzzled by it. She bit her lip, then lifted her head to look at him there. Gu Mingxi naturally saw her line of sight shift, and got very startled. He had no way of stopping her, and could only cry out, “Pang Qian!”

A few footsteps came from outside the stall. Someone stood outside their stall and knocked on the door, “Anything wrong?”

Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian both got a scare. They both remained silent. The person outside the stall knocked again, asking, “I’m security. Is everything okay inside?”

Gu Mingxi opened his mouth to respond, “It’s find, I just dropped something.”

“You’re really okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Make sure to watch out. There are a lot of students here, so people let their guard down.” Then the security guard left.

Outside the stall, the footsteps gradually receded. Inside the stall, the two of them stood up against the walls. But because of their large backpacks, they were still very close together.

Pang Qian could hear Gu Mingxi’s distinct breathing. And in front of her, she could see his Adam’s apple, bobbing up and down as he swallowed. Her heart was pounding, her face burning powerfully. In the silence, Gu Mingxi cleared his throat and said, “Pang Pang, help me pull my pants back up.”

Pang Qian was about to look down when he called out immediately, “Don’t look!”

“…” Pang Qian rolled her eyes, then muttered, “Why are you so angry? It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

She did her best not to look down, her face full of calm. She fumbled with and tugged at Gu Mingxi’s underpants and even pulled at the waistband. Then finally, she pulled up his pants.

She turned and looked at the toilet and realized that Gu Mingxi’s aim wasn’t that precise. The floor around the toilet had been splashed with urine. Then she looked at his pants, his beige trousers, and saw that they were a bit wet. He was wearing flipflops, and his feet…were probably also wet.

Pang Qian’s lips twitched. Of course, Gu Mingxi saw her subtle expression. He felt extremely embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do. “I’ll wash my feet later.”

When they took care of everything, Pang Qian opened the stall door a sliver and made sure there was no one in the restroom. Then she and Gu Mingxi both quickly walked out. But when she was helping Gu Mingxi wash his feet, seven or eight young men walked into the washroom. They were originally chatting among themselves lively, but after seeing Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi they quieted down.

Gu Mingxi’s left foot was already cleaned, and his right foot was up on the sink. Pang Qian helped him scrub randomly, and then Gu Mingxi put his leg down. Then in front of that group of guys, he and Pang Qian left the male washroom.

Behind them came whispering, “Did that kid have no arms?”

“He got a girl to help him use the restroom?”

“What a person!”

—

Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian left the convention center and walked on the streets aimlessly. Pang Qian thought that Gu Mingxi was behaving a bit strangely. Since they left the washroom, he hadn’t said anything to her. It was clearly written on his face: Unhappy.

Pang Qian felt a bit stuffy inside. She even helped him use the toilet! What wasn’t he satisfied about? Was it because she saw his little bird? Oh please! She’d seen it so many times when they were younger. Although the little bird had grown into a big bird now, but… It was basically the same thing!

The afternoon sun was very strong. They were already sweating from it. Pang Qian looked around and decided she wouldn’t lower herself to his level. She turned around and asked him, “Want to eat noodles?”

Gu Mingxi lifted his head to see the small noodle shop on the side of the road. He nodded, “Mm.”

When they walked inside, they found that there were quite a few people inside. It was probably because of the comic convention nearby. Pang Qian walked around and fortunately found a table in the corner. It was pretty out of the way, so no one would pay any attention to them.

She sat down with Gu Mingxi and a waiter came by shortly after. Pang Qian flipped through the menu and decided on a bowl of pork bone ramen. Gu Mingxi said, “The same.”

Pang Qian rolled her eyes, “Don’t you dislike pork?” 𝐟𝓇ℯ𝒆we𝒃𝘯𝒐νe𝑙.co𝚖

“Then you just pick a better one for me.” He lowered his eyes, not looking at the menu at all. He looked a bit lost, like he’d been hit by some heavy blow.

Pang Qian ordered Gu Mingxi a beef ramen. When the waiter left, she rested her chin on her hands, “Let me try some of your beef noodles later.”

Gu Mingxi dropped his shoulders against his chair, and responded languidly, “Mm.”

Pang Qian looked at him for awhile. Then she balled up her napkin and tossed it at him. He didn’t try to avoid it, so it hit his chin before falling to the ground.

Gu Mingxi finally lifted his head to look at her. Pang Qian asked, “Gu Mingx, what’s wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“…”

“You were the one who told me to help you with the restroom,” Pang Qian said. “Th-then, if I help you with that, I’ll definitely see. It’s nothing…”

Gu Mingxi looked at her, then spoke after a moment, “Do you know how long I was waiting for you?”

“Pang Qian’s eyes widened, “?”

“I waited for you for two hours. You didn’t even say where you were going. Don’t you know, it’s really dangerous to be alone.”

Pang Qian retorted, “I wasn’t by myself. I was with Xie Yi.”

Gu Mingxi’s tone became solemn, “But you came with me! Not Xie Yi! If something happened to you, it would have been my responsibility!”

“Why are you being so angry? I-I waited half an hour for you too. But you didn’t come back, so I just walked around with Xie Yi!” Pang Qian explained eagerly. “Before we left, I even looked for you, but I couldn’t find you. Xie Yi said that Tang Weiqing would only be there in the morning, so I wouldn’t be able to see her in the afternoon. And he happened to know her – they’re related or something. So…”

Gu Mingxi pursed his lips and furrowed his brows. Pang Qian’s tone became gentler, “So I just went with him… Sorry, Gu Mingxi. I didn’t know that Xie Yi would take me to see so many artists. They were all awesome. They even drew me pictures, so it took a long time.”

Gu Mingxi turned his head, not saying anything.

He rarely got angry like this. Pang Qian thought it over, and decided she had to play her trump card.

She pulled out a small box from her bag and opened it for Gu Mingxi to see. It was a light yellow, handmade chain. There were some yellow and white clay beads strung on it. Pang Qian said, “Here, it’s an anklet. I just bought it, and I was going to wait until next month to give it to you for your birthday. I’ll just give it to you now. Gu Mingxi, don’t be angry anymore, okay?”

Seeing the box in her hands, Gu Mingxi’s face flushed slightly. Pang Qian knew that she had a chance. She quickly walked over and sat down next to him. “Lift up your foot.”

Gu Mingxi hesitated, but still lifted up his right foot onto the chair. Pang Qian lowered her head and tied on the chain to his right ankle. She looked at it and asked, “It looks nice. Do you like it?”

“…” Gu Mingxi couldn’t answer. He definitely wouldn’t say that he didn’t like it. But if he said he liked it, that would be such a loss of face. Wasn’t he just in a quarrel with Pang Qian?

Instead, he pulled open the zipper on his backpack, and pulled out the box of postcards. He tossed it onto the table and pushed it towards Pang Qian. He said seriously, “Alright, then I’ll give you what I was going to give you for your birthday next month too.”

Gu Mingxi picked up the postcards and looked at them. “This… Tang Weiqing gave me a box just now, but it was also signed.”

Gu Mingxi vomited blood.

Vomited blood, metaphorically. I think it’s sort of like a mix of ‘I can’t believe it’ and agony.