My Mister Ostrich

Translated by Twelve_Months_of_May

I just remembered something from when we were kids.

_______________________________________________________________

The year that Gu Haichuan was in kindergarten coincided with the Olympic Games. The kindergarten teacher handed out a sheet of A3 poster to all the kids. Their assignment was to, under their parents’ guidance, create an Olympics welcoming (or introduction) poster. On the parents’ open house day, they would display all the posters.

Pang Qian was extremely stressed out as she brought her son home. She couldn’t help complain to Gu Mingxi, “Kindergarten students making welcoming posters? What kind of joke is that?! They can hardly read. Isn’t this basically telling us to write and draw everything?”

Gu Mingxi smiled. “You can tell him to do it himself. He really likes to draw, so just let him play around or trace something.”

(Note: GMX uses a pet name for his son– jiu jiu. It’s like the sound of chirping, or I’d always thought of it as the sound of kissing. The author seems to call the kid jiu jiu a lot, but um, well I’ll just refer to him as Baby Gu or Haichuan accordingly.)

“How can we do that? They’re going to put on an exhibit!” Pang Qian jabbed at Gu Mingxi’s waist with her elbow and giggled. “Our family has a great illustrator. It’s your chance to make yourself known!”

On the weekend, Gu Mingxi, Pang Qian, and Haichuan sat around the dinner table to discuss what to do with that white sheet of paper.

Gu Mingxi asked his son, “What do you want to put on it?”

Haichuan plopped down on the table and thought for a moment. Then he said, “Olympics welcoming.”

“I know it’s to welcome the Olympic.” Pang Qian sat next to him and asked, “Do you know what the Olympics are?”

Haichuan furrowed his little eyebrows and hesitatingly nodded his head. “It’s a competition where they run and swim and play sports.”

“Mm, that’s right. Then, what kind of competition do you like?” Pang Qian continued leading him. “There are a lot of different competitions at the Olympics. We can’t draw all of them, so we’ll draw the three that you like most, okay?”

“Okay.” Haichuan obediently nodded his head.

Gu Mingxi asked, “Which competitions do you like?”

Baby Gu thought for awhile, and then answered, “When the pretty girls do somersaults.”

Pang Qian asked, “What is it when the pretty girls do somersaults?”

Baby Gu motioned with his fingers to show her. “Just-just like we saw on TV before! The girl with the big eyes, standing on a piece of wood, doing somersaults! They didn’t even fall off!”

Gu Mingxi suddenly understood. “Oh, women’s balance beam gymnastics.”

Pang Qian asked, “What other competitions do you like? You only named one.”

Baby Gu scratched his head and said, “I like swimming and diving, and also the bouncing trampoline. And also when they play ball on the sand!”

Seems like they were all competitions where athletes wore skintight costumes, or swimsuits and bikinis…

Pang Qian reminded him, “Don’t I often bring you to the ping pong gym? Have you forgotten about ping pong?”

Baby Gu shook his head seriously and answered, “I don’t really like ping pong that much.”

His childish voice made Gu Mingxi laugh. “Why not?”

“Because… Because the girls playing ping pong aren’t that pretty,” Baby Gu said. “I like the girl who does somersaults the best! She’s really pretty!”

Gu Mingxi asked, “Is the somersault girl prettier, or is your mom prettier?”

“Mm…” Baby Gu’s face turned red and he plopped onto Gu Mingxi’s body. Burying his face, he quietly looked at Pang Qian. “The somersault girl is prettier.”

Pang Qian smiled. “Gu Haichuan, you can do your poster on your own! Gu Minxgi, you can teach him, but don’t do it for him.”

After she finished speaking, she turned around and went to the study to work.

When it came to Baby Gu’s education, Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian didn’t take the eagle dad – tiger mom approach, but they didn’t pamper their son either. They opted for the method where they let things run their course through guidance, accompaniment, encouragement, and occasionally criticism. (Note: eagle dad and tiger mom are basically parents who push their kids to their limit, often in ways modern society views as cruel; see eagle dad for more)

Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi came to a consensus for teaching their son. Two people, of a single mind. Though they would occasionally come across disagreements or doubts with teaching methods, they would discuss those in private. For example, after Pang Qian said that Gu Mingxi couldn’t help Baby Gu with his poster, Gu Mingxi listened obediently and didn’t help at all.

Baby Gu’s written vocabulary wasn’t large, so Gu Mingxi found two sports-related songs and let him copy them onto the poster. The rest of the poster would be for drawings.

But Baby Gu was just a 6 year old child in the end. His handwriting was a mess, like something that was chewed up by a dog. When his characters were large, they were as large as a 5 cent coin, and when they were small, they were as small as melon seeds. After awhile, he finally painstakingly copied down one song. Then he lost his patience and started to pester Gu Mingxi.

“Daddy, help my draw and write.” He crawled onto Gu Mingxi’s legs and raised his little, pitiful face up. “I don’t want to write anymore.”

“No, I can’t. This is your homework.” Gu Mingxi comforted him, “After we finish copying the second song, we can draw, okay? I know that you like to draw. We’ll draw the pretty girls who do somersaults.”

“Daddy, you draw!” Baby Gu was very self-knowledgeable. “I don’t draw well. Daddy, help me draw!”

“But Mommy said that Daddy can’t help.” Gu Mingxi continued warmly and patiently, “You heard what Mommy said. Daddy will stay here with you and teach you how to write and draw. We’ll work hard together, okay?”

“No…” Babu Gu grimaced. “Daddy, I want to go out to play.”

“When you finish drawing, we can go out to play. You’re going to the square later to practice skating too.”

“I won’t finish the drawing!” Baby Gu looked like he was going to cry. “This paper is so big! So big! Daddy, I don’t want to draw!”

Gu Mingxi looked up at the clock. He stood up and said, “Daddy has to make lunch. Stay here and finish copying down the song, and then draw. Draw the girls who swim and somersault. I’ll be right back.”

Baby Gu hugged Gu Mingxi’s leg and wouldn’t let him walk away. “Daddy, help me draw…”

“Daddy’s going to make Louisiana chicken wings. Do you want to eat it?”

“…” Baby Gu released his hold and wiped at his eyes. “I want to eat four.”

“Deal.” Gu Mingxi bent over and knocked his son’s head with his forehead. This was his secret move with Baby Gu, just like how other fathers and sons would high five or hook pinkies.

When it was lunch time, Baby Gu happily ate four chicken wings. After he finished, he realized that he had to work on his poster again. The little guy couldn’t help himself and started crying. Gu Mingxi really felt conflicted seeing this, so he had Baby Gu go take a nap. The poor little Baby Gu went to sleep on his bed, his eyelashes laced with tears.

The large poster had already been turned into a mess by Baby Gu. Pang Qian felt that there was no way to save it, but Gu Mingxi said, “It’s okay. Just let him play with it. As long as he doesn’t rip it, it’s fine.”

Pang Qian picked up the rag-like poster and said helplessly, “If anyone found out that this was made by the son of the author of ‘Xiao Chuan,’ they’d probably laugh themselves silly.”

“You were a bit harsh with him.” Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian sat together by their son’s bed and watched the sleeping boy. He had a head of fluffy, dark hair and looked very pretty. His facial contours looked more like Pang Qian’s, but his eyes were more like Gu Mingxi’s.

Gu Mingxi said to Pang Qian, “Adults were obviously supposed to help out with this assignment. The kids wouldn’t be able to do a good job by themselves. He doesn’t know anything about making a poster, so it was inevitable that it turned out like this.”

“Then what do we do?” Pang Qian asked.

Gu Mingxi said, “When he wakes up, tell him that you’ll let me help him, and then have him talk to me again.”

Pang Qian nodded, “Okay.”

Gu Mingxi looked at her somewhat gloomy face. Suddenly, he chuckled. Pang Qian looked at him strangely, “What are you laughing about?”

“I just remembered something from when we were kids,” he said. “It was during the Olympics then as well, and we had to do posters. Do you remember?”

Pang Qian was thought about it and then she laughed. “How could I forget.”

It was May 1996, and Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi were in the fifth grade.

That summer, the Olympics were held in Atlanta, USA. The whole nation was passionately welcoming the Olympics, elementary school students included. The art teacher gave an assignment to make a handwritten poster with the theme of welcoming the Olympics. Due on Monday.

Faced with such an assignment, Pang Qian didn’t need to exert her brain at all. On Saturday afternoon, she flipped through the newspaper they subscribed to at home and found three articles about the Chinese team. Then she pulled out her notebook and found an article she’d previously written called ‘Our Olympics.’ She copied them neatly onto a piece of A3 paper. After spending a bit more than an hour copying it all down, Pang Qian brought the poster, still with lots of empty space, over to Apt 502 to let Gu Mingxi help her draw some pictures and write in the title.

Gu Mingxi made a face. “You should draw a bit too. If I draw it all, the teacher will easily find out.”

Pang Qian didn’t think it was a problem. “It’s fine. My drawings are really ugly. Yours look nice. Just help me a bit. I’ll be back later to get it.”

Gu Mingxi mumbled to himself, “I haven’t even started on my own poster yet.”

“Aiyo, just help me out. I’ll treat you to a doll popsicle later.”

He raised his head to look at her. “I want cola.”

“Deal!” Pang Qian stood up. “I have to go home to watch TV. Tonight is the finale episode of ‘Instinct.’ Have you watched any of it?” (Note: Instinct is a 1994 Hong Kong drama)

Gu Mingxi shook his head. “My dad doesn’t let me watch TV.”

“Ekin Cheng’s Pau Man-lung is so handsome! And Poon Long-ching’s such a baddie!” Pang Qian ran through the story of the drama and then got up, pat off her bottom and said, “Hurry up and draw. I’m going back to watch TV.”

After Pang Qian left, Gu Mingxi started to look over the A3 paper she left behind. She was really lazy. She’d only written a little bit, and left all this space for him to fill in. Gu Mingxi sat at his desk and grabbed an illustrated book with his right foot. There were a lot of animals and plants inside that he could copy. Gu Mingxi flipped through the book with his toes and picked a few images to leave for Pang Qian to draw.

He earnestly helped her to fill in the title for the board. In all the blank spaces, he carefully made a pencil sketch for what he’d fill it in with. After two hours of preliminary work, he picked up the poster with his toes and looked at it with satisfaction. He got ready to add the colors.

He didn’t use watercolors because the effect wouldn’t be good. Gu Mingxi found some paints, a palette, and a brush. As he hummed, he filled in Pang Qian’s poster with color.

When he painted, he was always in a good mood. Moreover, this was for Pang Qian. Gu Mingxi sat in his chair, his two feet busying themselves on the desk. The poster slowly turned colorful. The drawings and Pang Qian’s articles were interlaced seamlessly.

But when the poster was nearly completed, a small accident occurred.

Gu Mingxi was picking up some paint on his brush with his right foot when he accidentally knocked into the cup of rinsing water next to his palette. He watched the cup tremble and anxiously raised his right foot to steady it, but in the end, he knocked the cup of water over.

The cup of muddy water crashed onto the table. Gu Mingxi’s first reaction was to save Pang Qian’s poster, but it was already too late. Most of the poster was already soaked, and slowly, his paintings and Pang Qian’s writing were washed in the muddy water. The paper was a mess, and Gu Mingxi’s mind went blank.

Li Han walked into his room after she heard the noise. She only saw that his desk was a mess as she helped him stand up and tidy his desk.

The water was running down his desk onto the floor. Gu Mingxi stared at the poster, completely dejected.

“What are you staring at? Hurry and go wash your feet,” Li Han told him. “Look at your feet. Ah, what’s this?”

She picked up the soaked paper as Gu Mingxi called out, “Don’t throw it away!”

But he was too late. Li Han had already balled up the paper and thrown it into the trash.

Gu Mingxi looked at her, his head hanging in despair. “Mom, that was Pang Qian’s homework.”

Pang Qian was in tears from watching the finale of ‘Instinct.’ After dinner, she went over to Gu Mingxi’s house to pick up her poster. She didn’t forget to head downstairs to buy him a cola first.

With red eyes, she carried the cola to his room. Gu Mingxi looked at her a bit restlessly and asked, “Why did you cry?”

“Lam Ching-lit died. She burned to death. (crying sounds)” Pang Qian explained the story of the finale as she continued to cry sadly. “I hate them. If I knew she was going to die, I wouldn’t have watched it. (crying sounds) Oh, your cola.”

She put the cola down on Gu Mingxi’s desk and sniffled. “Do you want me to help you open it?”

Gu Mingxi shook his head. How could he still dare to drink her cola. Quietly, he said, “You drink it. I don’t want it.”

“What’s wrong? You’re the one who said you wanted to drink it.” Pang Qian finally stopped her crying. She looked at his desk and then around his room. “Where’s my poster?”

Gu Mingxi, “…”

She continued asking, “Did you finish drawing it?”

“…”

“Gu Mingxi, can you hear what I’m saying?”

Gu Mingxi gathered up his courage and raised his head to look at her. He extended his right foot and pointed to the trash can next to his desk. “Pang Pang, I’m sorry. I got your poster dirty, I…”

Pang Qian rushed over and pulled out her broken poster from the trash. She looked at the text that she’d copied down. It was already illegible. Suddenly, she got mad. “Gu Mingxi, what did you do?!”

“It wasn’t on purpose.” Gu Mingxi stood next to her, rushing to explain. “My foot accidentally hit the cup of water I used to wash the brush. The cup fell and the water spilled. I…”

“I don’t care! It took me so long to copy it!” Pang Qian stared at him with red eyes. “I hate you! I’m going to ignore you from now on!”

As she said this, she tossed the ragged poster back into the trash. Then she turned away and ran out. Not two seconds later, she returned to snatch the cola from his desk. With a “hmph!” she ran off.

Pang Qian sat angrily in her room for half an hour.

In that time, she finished the bottle of cola. Then she recalled that poster. Aside from her text, it was mostly colorful drawings. And then her anger disappeared.

She sat on her bed and hugged her knees, thinking that she’d write out the article again tomorrow morning and have Gu Mingxi draw again.

“If you make the drawing so complicated, the teacher will know right away that I didn’t draw it. What an idiot.” Pang Qian picked up a comic book and started reading. She spoke out loud, “Alright, I forgive you. I’ll treat you to another cola tomorrow.”

On Sunday morning, Pang Qian slept until 8 o’clock. When she recalled that she still had to work on her poster, she got out of bed, whining. As she was washing her face and brushing her teeth, Jin Aihua told her, “There’s something of yours on the table. Gu Mingxi’s mom brought it over earlier.”

Pang Qian thought it was odd. After she washed up, she headed to the living room and saw a roll of paper on the table.

She pulled off the rubber band and unrolled the paper. She was entirely dumbfounded.

It was a completed poster, filled up and colorful. On the top, there were the signature five Olympic rings, and on the side of it, there were white clouds and birds. The articles were scattered around, and each one had interesting illustrations accompanying them. Pang Qian looked carefully at the paragraphs of writing. That idiot even tried to copy her handwriting. His writing was originally very pretty, but he intentionally wrote carefully, but childishly. Pang Qian looked at the spot where the title and her name went: Thirst for Knowledge Elementary, Class 3, Pang Qian.

Pang Qian went over and knocked on the door to Apt 502. Li Han opened the door and told her quietly, “Gu Mingxi’s still sleeping.”

Pang Qian asked, “Auntie, do you know how late he was up until last night?”

“Probably around 4 in the morning. The sky was already lighting up,” Li Han said. “Did you get the poster? Mingxi said he messed up yours so he should pay you back.” 𝑓𝓇𝑒𝑒𝚠e𝘣𝓷𝘰ѵe𝑙.com

“I got it…” Pang Qian bit her lip. “Auntie, can I go in to see him?”

Li Han nodded. “He just fell asleep not long ago, so don’t be too loud.”

“Mm.”

Pang Qian walked to Gu Mingxi’s room. The curtains were drawn and he was fast asleep.

She looked at his desk and saw a pile of brushes, paints, and scratch paper. Clearly, he hadn’t cleaned up after he finished.

Pang Qian sat down by Gu Mingxi’s bed. He was covered with a thin blanket, his eyes closed, giving off a light snoring sound. Gu Mingxi was only wearing a white tank top, and his exposed shoulders and scars made Pang Qian’s heart ache.

She watched his sleeping face and curled her lips. Reaching out to ruffle his hair gently, she said quietly, “Why are you so stupid. It’s not even due today. Why did you stay up so late.”

When Gu Mingxi woke up, it was already noon. He hadn’t slept enough, but when he thought of his own poster that he’d yet to start, he could only bite the bullet and push off his blankets to get out of bed.

As he sat up, he saw a bottle of cola by his pillow and a note beneath it.

Gu Mingxi reached over with his leg and grabbed the paper. Pang Qian drew a grimace and wrote: Idiot, thank you. But in the future, don’t stay up all night, otherwise I’ll get angry!

Looking at her threatening words, Gu Mingxi couldn’t help laughing.

But then, in the next instant, he looked down at his bare shoulders, startled.

She’d once said that his scars were very scary. He wondered if she saw them this time.

Gu Mingxi didn’t want to frighten her.

When Baby Gu woke up, Pang Qian gave him some good news. He could ask Daddy and Mommy to help him with his poster so he didn’t have to do it alone anymore.

Baby Gu got up right away and ran to his dad’s studio. He wanted Dad to help him draw the pretty girls who did somersaults. Gu Mingxi said, “Daddy can help you write. Let Mommy help you draw, okay?”

“No!” Baby Gu had already developed a sense of aesthetics. “Mommy’s drawings are ugly!”

Gu Mingxi laughed out loud, and then he and Baby Gu walked over to the living room. The whole family sat together with the messy A3 posted in front of them. Gu Mingxi exhausted his abilities to save that poster, and finally had a delightful and completed poster.

After dinner, Gu Mingxi, Pang Qian, and Baby Gu went to the New Century Plaza to roller skate.

There were some tens of little kids practicing with the instructor. Pang Qian helped Baby Gu put on his protective gear and then he rushed off to join the instructor.

Four kids stood side by side and the instructor asked, “What’s four plus three?”

The kids looked at him blankly, and then instructor said, “We’ll start with the first one to answer correctly.”

The kids scrambled to raise their hands, and the instructor pointed to one of the girls. “You can answer.”

“Five!”

“Wrong.”

One of the boys shouted, “Ten!”

“Wrong!”

Baby Gu rushed to raise his hand and the instructor called on him.

Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi looked at him expectantly.

With full confidence, Baby Gu answered, “Two!”

All the parents at the side chuckled and the instructor completely abandoned the question.

He walked behind Baby Gu and had him squat down with his hands behind his back. Then the instructor pushed him forward.

“Slower, slower. Slowly open your legs. Open. Okay, pull back. Good.”

Baby Gu skated for a very long stretch under the instructor’s guidance. On his way back, the instructor said, “Do you see your mom and dad? Can you skate over to them on your own?”

Baby Gu lifted his head and saw Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian some tens of meters away. He nodded. “I can do it.”

“Okay, go on over!”

The instructor gave him a push, and the little boy with a blue helmet started sliding forward.

He rolled along with a stagger, but he wasn’t scared at all. He looked at his parents with shining eyes, and Pang Qian cheered out for him. Gu Mingxi was already crouched down on the ground.

He was a special kind of dad, unable to open his arms to pull his child in for a hug like other parents. But just like everyone else, he could use his warm chest to accept his baby.

Gu Haichuan smiled happily. He finally slid over to Gu Mingxi, and he spread out his little arms and landed onto Gu Mingxi’s body. He wrapped his hands around his dad’s neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Daddy, I can skate!” He giggled.

Gu Mingxi kissed him on the cheek as well. “You’re so awesome.” freℯ𝓌e𝚋𝐧𝘰vℯl.𝐜𝚘𝗺

At this moment, a girl wearing a red helmet slid over to them.

Baby Gu turned to her. When Gu Mingxi noticed, he asked, “Who’s this?”

“She’s Guodong,” Baby Gu whispered into Gu Mingxi’s ear. “Daddy, isn’t Guodong really pretty?” (Note: Don’t know if it’s a nickname, but ‘guodong’ means jelly)

“…” Gu Mingxi asked, “Didn’t you like Xiao Hudie?” (Note: ‘xiao hudie’ is little butterfly)

Baby Gu responded seriously, “Now I think that Guodong is prettier than Xiao Hudie.”

Gu Mingxi: = =

“Guodong and I will go to the same elementary school,” Baby Gu said happily, his smile reaching his eyes.

Gu Mingxi asked, “Are you happy that you two will be going to the same school?”

“Yes!”

“Are you two good friends?”

“…” Baby Gu blinked his eyes and his head drooped. “I don’t think she knows who I am.”

Gu Mingxi laughed. “Then, go over and play with her. Look, Guodong skates very well.”

Baby Gu turned to look and nodded. “Mm, I want to play with her!”

He left Gu Mingxi and stumbled over. Guodong was already very good at skating, so Baby Gu had to use a lot of effort to catch up to her. Gu Mingxi stood up and looked at Baby Gu, grinning as he talked to Guodong. Then the two kids held hands and skated together.

Pang Qian had been listening to their conversation and she couldn’t help shake her head now. “I realized that our son’s rather fickle, completely unlike you. He sees a new one and likes a new one. His head’s just full of pretty girls. What do we do about it?!”

Gu Mingxi smiled, “Don’t worry. He’ll have his own life later.”

Right beside him, Pang Qian wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

Gu Mingxi whispered to her ear, “One day, he’ll grow up and leave us to have his own life.”

She said, “Mm, just like you and me.”

Yes, just like every one of us.