Chapter 3 2: Reminiscence

I had died, I was sure of it. So why am I floating in an empty void? Is this what awaits people after death? No pearly gates, no inferno, no gods or demons judging you? Just an empty void.

I tried moving my body, but I felt nothing. I tried opening my mouth, but nothing came out. I couldn't tell how much time had passed, and all I could do was remember; remember my mediocre life, my mistakes, and the choices I had made.

My life started simple. I had a loving family, with enough money to not worry about the base needs, but not so much that we could do everything we wanted.I went through public schooling, always placed in the advanced classes for English and Social Studies, but woefully bad at Math. High school only reinforced it, as I attended a magnet school, and all my peers were like me; told we were smart, but that was only true when placed in a school no one wanted to be in.

I struggled at first, since I had always believed myself smart. Not a genius, but definitely smarter than the people around me. I went from the highest classes in middle school to being just average in high school. However, while that was disappointing, like many I discovered romance. Like many, it was a simple puppy love relationship. At first, I thought that I was 'normal'. I dated a guy, and we shared all our firsts. But something didn't feel right in that relationship. Physically it was fine, but emotionally, I wasn't invested. That was when a quick browse through the internet made me question myself; did I like girls? Or maybe both? So, I gave it a try, and discovered that, while I missed the actual thing guys had, the rest of the relationship felt better.

After high school, like many, I went to college. But that was when my world was turned upside down. My parents had died in a car accident, and apparently they had accumulated a sizable debt over the years. I had to sell the house and most of the possessions just to pay it off. Luckily I had a decent scholarship to my college, and since both my parents had been so excited for my, I toughed through everything to get my degree.

It was during this time that I had been told by my friend about compensated dating. Go on a date with a guy, spend the night together, and you get a decent bit of cash. And I needed cash. My part time job just wasn't paying enough. So I started going on 'dates' with many people. Sometimes it was someone I knew; a classmate (current or former) or professor. Most of the time it was older men, spending a large portion of their extra money on college girls.

For the remaining three years of my time in college, this is how I paid rent and put food on my table. When I had my degree, I managed to get a corporate job through one of my regulars. It wasn't entirely through the back door; I showed my worth and managed to get the job. Of course, some extra money was being slid my way in the form of 'overtime'. And this was my life for another year.

But that all ended after I met her. Kyoka Hana. I had gone to a party that some friends invited me to, and I saw her. A tall, thin asian woman, with beautiful brown eyes and a warm smile. I spent most of the party staring at her, trying to muster up some courage to speak to her. Sadly, she was always surrounded by men and women, and I just wasn't sure she'd look my way, let alone if she swung that way. So I did the reasonable thing; drank away my sorrows. Some guys would approach me, thinking I was an easy target, but I refused their advances. As the party started to end, someone tapped my shoulder. It was Kyoka. She introduced herself, and we just clicked. We talked about everything, from our experiences in school to favorite foods. And before I knew it, she was leading me to a cab, her hand holding mine. She took me to her home, and the night became a blur of pleasure as she threw me in her bed and had her way with me. pan(da-n0vel.c)om

When I woke up the next day she was lying next to me, staring at my face with that warm smile. She asked if I would consider meeting her again, and gave me her number. Everyday we would talk, and every weekend she would invite me over. We explored everything about one another; I had known I was a bottom, and she enjoyed topping. But she wanted to take it a step further, with rope and whips. And I enjoyed it, more than anything in the world. The more I enjoyed my times with her, the more I hated the rest of my situation. I was still being called for 'overtime', and had told Kyoka about it. She told me that I should quit, and so I did. While I was searching for another job, I moved in with her. It was fast, with only a few months being spent together, but it felt right.

Years passed. Kyoka became more possessive, but I enjoyed seeing how much she cared for me. My job was going well, and we got along well. At least I thought we were. I found out that I wasn't the only woman Kyoka had; she had two others, one recent and the other being with her longer than me. She hid it so well, and even managed to make me seem crazy when I confronted her about it. After another few months of searching, I had photo evidence of her relationships. It hurt me, and I told her that I couldn't trust her anymore, not after she lied to me all these years. She tried to convince me to stay, even going so far as to bring the other two woman to the house to have a 'group discussion'. It made me sick, and I told her that we were done.

I moved after that, going to a new city, getting a new job, and finding myself a small apartment. For months I just stuck to a schedule of wake up, go to work, sleep, repeat. However, I started craving intimate contact. So, I started frequenting clubs, finding men and women who were looking for a good time. Eventually, it became a large part of my life; right after work I would go to a club, find some person to be with, and go home with them. I kept doing that until one day my boss saw me in one of the clubs I frequented. After he saw me he offered the same thing my previous boss offered. Some extra cash if I worked 'overtime'. Not only that, he offered to let me become his secretary. I accepted, since the pay raise was quite large.

And that all led up to that fatal morning, where Kyoka found my home and ordered me to follow her.

After looking back at my life, I wondered something. What if I stayed with her back then? Sure it would have sucked to share her with others, but I had been doing that without realizing for many years. Would I have been happy with that?

I continued to float through the void, reminiscing and creating hypotheticals in my mind, when suddenly a bright blue orb appeared in front of me.

[Host found. Beginning fusion.] 𝒇𝐫ℯ𝑒𝒘ℯ𝑏n𝑜ѵ𝐞l.c𝗼𝗺

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