Chapter 33.4
translator: mii
editor: sleepchaser, ASplashofMusic
On the driver’s seat of the carriage that is parked next to the gate, Shurio is asleep, face covered with his muffler and woollen cap. Alfred pats Shurio to wake him up before opening the door and pushing me inside.
With my brain still confused about everything that’s going on, my physical and mental reactions have become a lot slower. And so, I can only tilt my head up at Alfred in a daze, who also climbs into the carriage.
This is really shameful. I have to get a grip of myself. It’ll be bad if I keep acting like this.
I still have a lot of things I need to do. I can’t afford to become half-witted here.
Yes, I have to be firm. I have to do this. So…
The carriage door closes, and Alfred sits next to me. Then he looks at me and smiles, though with a troubled expression. “…Why are you crying?”
“Huh?”
Am I crying?
What? Again?
I just said to get a hold of myself, didn’t I? Geez.
Alfred grabs my shoulders and once again pulls me into a hug. He rests his hand on my back and gently strokes it.
His body temperature is high enough that I can feel his warmth through his clothes and on my cheeks.
Why?
“…You’re so stupid,” I say.
“Why?”
“Because that girl is…”
His…
Above my head, I hear him heave a loud sigh, his breath causing my hair to sway.
“You told me something a long time ago.”
“Hm…?”
“Yeah. About how the future isn’t fixed. That if we want to change the future, we can do it as many times as we want through our own power.”
…Ah.
That’s right. I told Alfred something like that before.
That he can change the scary future.
“Everyone can change it. I can, and you can too.”
I… can also change it?
“I don’t need extreme glory, wealth, or fame. I don’t want them, and I also don’t want that kind of future. If anyone wants them, I’ll willingly hand those things over to them. What I want is—”
Alfred tightens his hug. Due to being enveloped in his arms, I can’t see anything.
“…Al?” I look up, not understanding what he’s saying. There, I see his blue-sky eyes looking down at me, sparkling in joy.
“If you want me to choose, then I choose you. I want you the most. What about you?”
“I…”
What I want is…
This warm place and its warm people.
Plus…
With my trembling hand, I grab his sleeve.
…Do I really have the liberty to choose? Do I? I don’t know. I’m not even sure what will happen once I pick this choice.
I don’t know anything.
But… if he tells me to choose, then…
“…Me too,” I say, the voice leaving my mouth so shaky that I can’t even understand what I’ve just said.
“Me too. I want this the most…” I continue to squeeze out in a hoarse voice.
Alfred chuckles. He then hugs me even tighter to the point that it starts to hurt. And then as usual, he answers, “I see.” In a very happy tone.
Alfred plants a soft kiss on my forehead. Afterward, he lifts his head and looks at the driver’s seat.
…Ah.
At that moment, it suddenly comes to me that Shurio is also here and sitting in that seat. And… that there’s a small open window right behind that seat.
Ahhh, no way!!
I’ve been so out-of-character today that it’s not even an exaggeration to call it that. I’m not even going to try to defend myself at all.
How did I forget about Shurio? I can’t believe it!
What should I do now? This situation has become too weird.
Shurio… probably heard our conversation just now. Or maybe not. Did he see what we did inside the carriage? No way. I want to believe that he didn’t hear or see anything.
Please just bury me somewhere already. I want to die.
Trying to act nonchalant, I rub my eyes with my sleeves and take a deep breath. Then I turn my head toward the small window.
As I expected, Shurio is staring at us, face red. But there’s also a smile on his lips, containing a mixture of embarrassment and fondness.
What’s with that smile? Please stop that.
After Shurio’s gaze meets mine, he clears his throat once. “…Uh, umm… Where should we go next, Young Master?” he asks in an awkward tone.
“What? Why are you asking…”
That question…
“Boa the sheep gave birth last week. She’s become really fluffy now. Do you want to go and take a look?”
…Boa the sheep. She’s a sheep with such a round body that she looks similar to a fluff ball with black eyes.
When she was still a lamb, she looked just like a stuffed animal. And with her fluffy, round body, she likes to roll around. Very cute. She’s also very friendly.
Alfred, who’s seated next to me, takes my hand with a light grip, making sure that Shurio doesn’t see our joined hands.
His hand is warm.
Then…
“After that, you can have a meal, play with the kids, and stay overnight,” he whispers compellingly into my ear, saying the last part in a slightly lower and sweeter voice.
I hesitate, at a loss on what I should do. I have a full schedule tomorrow. I also want to sort out the documents that have accumulated on my desk and organize the year-end financial accounts as early as possible.
I turn to Shurio, who’s waiting for my instructions, and open my mouth, saying, “Shurio.”
“Yes!”
“…Head to the Cheddars’ ranch.”
After hearing the destination, Shurio looks at me and flashes a slightly teasing grin. What’s with that smile? I hope he can stop with the sudden grins sometimes. Really.
“Understood!” Shurio tugs at the reins and guides the horses toward the destination of the ranch.
Even if I don’t look, I know that the man beside me is overjoyed right now. Which makes me even more shy.
While I keep silent, Alfred’s warm body scooches so close to mine that our shoulders are now touching. He then wraps his hand around mine once again.
If I turn my head to the side, I’m sure I’ll be looking straight into his face. But all I want to do right at this moment is to just run away. To not look at him.
I… I lightly grip his hand in return.
Alfred seems to have regained his joyful mood. He tightens his hold on my hand.
I get the slight urge to cry, but I manage to suppress it.
For some reason, he wipes my eyes with his fingers. It’s not like I’m crying. Or at least, I have yet to burst out crying. I was about to, but I haven’t. My eyes feel wet, but that’s just sweat.
And yet, this brat is laughing.
…Ah. For some reason, I suddenly feel really relaxed.
Perhaps it’s because I haven’t slept much recently, but a wave of drowsiness attacks me the moment I untense my nerves.
I lean against the back of my seat, tired.
“…Once we’re back at the ranch, should I make you mulled wine?”
Those words come from Alfred.
Mulled wine is made by adding spices and dried fruits to wine. It’s a perfect drink in cold weather. Containing plenty of vitamins, it reduces fatigue and its alcohol content, just the appropriate amount after simmering it, is enough to warm the body to the core.
It’s certainly delicious, but…
“I prefer hot milk. With spices, raisins, and… a lot of honey.”
Alfred laughs out loud. Why’s he laughing? I didn’t say anything that deserves a laugh, though!
His fit of laughter causes tremors to run through his body, which is transmitted from his shaking shoulders to my shoulder that’s in contact with his. The same for our intertwined hands.
The slight sway feels strangely comfortable. Since he’s been holding my hands the whole time, my previously cold fingertips are warming up.
In the end… I lose my fight against the sleepiness that has been accumulating for the past few days.
Alfred will wake me up once we arrive anyway.
And so I decide to close my eyes, which gradually grow heavier.