Chapter 93: Come, enoki mushrooms!

[WARNING: this chapter is as straightforward as medicine often has to be, so this editor feels that people with weaker stomach should skip it or just skim through. It’s rather unpleasant. Also, don’t read it when you eat… You’ve been warned.]

To be honest, Zhang Fan felt that this scene was even more disgusting than the first time that he saw a cadaver in the dissection room. That cadaver hadn’t terrified him so much, or made him constantly tremble like he was now.

Well, he would have to touch the warts regardless. This was a mental block that he would have to overcome by gritting his teeth. Zhang Fan gently touched the warts with only a thin layer of medical gloves on his hands. There was an especially dense concentration of warts around the beautiful woman’s vulva and anus. The closer that Zhang Fan got, the clearer he could see them. He felt as if his own face was beginning to grow such warts.

He gritted his teeth and touched the warts, and was able to feel even through the gloves that the warts were moist. “Doctor Zhang, please describe the patient’s condition.”

“The patient’s warts are hairy, tough, and don’t cause her pain upon contact. They cause obvious itchiness, and there are evident scratch marks.” Zhang Fan had to bend over to touch the warts. Basically, his face was pressed almost right up against the beautiful woman’s butt. He was so close that he could feel her body warmth. He gritted his teeth as he finished reporting the results of his inspection.

Well, Zhang Fan became numb after reaching the peak of his disgust. He got accustomed to things after three minutes into the inspection. Although his face still felt like all his hair was standing on ends, he was able to tolerate the feeling. After Zhang Fan finished inspecting the patient’s warts, Director Gulnazar asked the patient for her age and name. Zhang Fan felt that the patient had given a fake name, as the beautiful woman had taken quite a while to respond to such a simple question.

“You should check yourself in for hospitalization. Your condition requires surgical treatment,” Director Gulnazar recommended to the patient.

“I can’t treat it simply by taking some medicine?”

“That won’t have any effect!”

“Alright, I’ll think about it.” The beautiful woman then left the dermatology department. Zhang Fan instantly rushed to disinfect and wash his hands. Director Gulnazar also washed her hands.

She chuckled, and said to Zhang Fan, “How are you feeling, Doctor Zhang? Did that leave you with a deep impression? You’re pretty good as you successfully finished the inspection without vomiting! Great fortitude!” She gave Zhang Fan a big thumbs up, but this caused some disinfectant on her hands to splash onto Zhang Fan’s face.

Zhang Fan was no longer able to take things anymore, as he already felt like his face was itching, yet he didn’t dare to scratch himself. He didn’t know if Director Gulnazar had splashed him on purpose, but Zhang Fan immediately stuffed his entire head into a medical alcohol container normally meant for soaking one’s hands in. He completely drenched himself in medical alcohol! He choked and coughed for the next half an hour, but finally felt that he was clean.

Gulnazar kept chuckling as she watched Zhang Fan’s antics. When he was finished, she said, “Doctor Zhang, that patient had genital warts. Go and read more textbooks, and think about what you just witnessed. This is a disease that you’ll never forget in your life. Feel free to leave for this work shift now. I’ll write the medical report for this patient.” Zhang Fan didn’t even try to politely refuse as he immediately took off his white doctor’s coat and left.

Genital warts were a type of infection caused by human papillomavirus (HPV) as a sexually transmitted disease (STD) typically concentrated around the anus. Genital warts would be most common among younger people from 18 to 50 years of age. Genital warts would typically last from two weeks to eight months, with an average incubation period of three months. This was one of the most common STDs, typically transmitted through ordinary vaginal or anal intercourse.

Zhang Fan’s complexion was rather unwell after all this. He had forcefully withstood his discomfort, and soaked himself in medical alcohol. It would be strange if he was still well. If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a dinner date with Shao Hua, he definitely would abandon any arrangement with anyone else tonight.

Shao Hua was quite considerate of Zhang Fan as they would always eat together at a restaurant near Chasu City Hospital. They would then go for a walk together after the meal, and Zhang Fan would take her home. Shao Hua wasn’t a very big eater, but she would eat slightly more at hot pots.

This time, Shao Hua had already arrived for more than 30 minutes by the time that Zhang Fan finally reached the hot pot restaurant. She noticed that his complexion was unwell after he hurried into the restaurant, so she asked him, “What’s the matter, are you feeling unwell?”

“No, it’s just that today I met with something disgusting that’s giving me some stomach problems.”

Shao Hua was quite curious about what that could be, but Zhang Fan waved his hand. “Forget it, it’s too disgusting to talk about. Neither of us will want to eat tonight anymore if I tell you. Have you already ordered the food?”

“Yes, I have. What would you like to eat? How about ordering a few more dishes?” Shao Hua handed the menu to Zhang Fan, but he didn’t take it. Instead, he said, “I truly apologize for tonight. I originally wanted to have a nice hot pot meal together with you, and invite the Kitchen God. But right now, I truly have no appetite.”

“Haha, it’s alright. You can just watch me eat tonight, then. I never thought that you would be the superstitious type, wanting to invite a god over after your kitchen renovation was finished.”

“Sigh! Forget about believing in other gods, it’s really important to believe in the Kitchen God. Otherwise, you won’t have any food to eat.” Although Zhang Fan’s joke wasn’t very funny, it actually represented another step of progress in their relationship.

Zhang Fan truly didn’t have much of an appetite. He only ate a little from the hot pot, along with drinking some of an iced sports drink to slightly fill his stomach. He only ate a few vegetables as he couldn’t stomach meat right now.

When they were almost finished with the meal, a server arrived, and told them, “Dear guests, our store is holding a free promotion today. Here are two free dishes, tofu and enoki mushrooms. Please enjoy.”

Zhang Fan, who had previously suppressed his feelings of disgust, suddenly turned around to see the enoki mushrooms which were densely packed on a small dish. The mushroom heads greatly resembled the warts he’d seen earlier today. Since Zhang Fan was sitting and the server was standing, the plate of enoki mushrooms was exactly at eye level for Zhang Fan, directly in front of him.

At this moment, he couldn’t help but recall checking the beautiful female patient’s condition. This all seemed so similar! This was the same distance, shape, and density! Ptui! Zhang Fan instantly vomited. He was no longer able to suppress himself. Due to the gas from the sports drink he had earlier, he vomited with the force of a fire hydrant.

The server was really astonished. He felt that such a reaction was quite unnecessary for the ordinary words he said! His black pants became stained with green vomit.

Shao Hua was incredibly worried. “What happened? Let’s hurry and get you to the hospital!”

Zhang Fan was so embarrassed that he didn’t even dare to raise his face. Shao Hua placed 300 yuan onto the table. Although the hot pot meal had cost only slightly more than 100 yuan, the extra was to make up for Zhang Fan vomiting all over the server.

Zhang Fan felt better after he left the restaurant. He no longer needed Shao Hua to physically support him. “What happened to you today? You really should explain what you saw today that caused you to throw up like that.”

“I can’t say it. It’s better for me to vomit alone than for you to vomit as well!” But, the more that Zhang Fan said this, the more curious Shao Hua became. She was incredibly stubborn. That was how she had managed to obtain the #1 rank on her test scores.

“Just tell me. I want to hear how disgusting it can be so that I better understand a doctor’s difficulties.”

“Are you certain you want to hear?”

“I’m certain!”

“Fine then. You forced me to tell you.”

Zhang Fan sat down together on a park bench with Shao Hua, and told her the full story of the female patient from earlier this afternoon. Shao Hua was able to tolerate the story! She managed to listen to the whole story. Although she was frowning constantly, she didn’t tell Zhang Fan to stop.

But when Zhang Fan said, “The moment that I turned around, I thought that those genital warts were in a plate right in front of me!”, this sentence caused Shao Hua to vomit as well! She kept smacking Zhang Fan in the arm as she threw up.

Other passersby looked on in curiosity at the young pair. An old man commented to his wife, “Look, that lady has definitely gotten pregnant! It’s probably a boy, otherwise she wouldn’t be vomiting so forcefully!”

With this mess, Zhang Fan and Shao Hua were no longer able to properly take a walk together. Zhang Fan immediately drove Shao Hua back home without saying a single word. He was afraid that either one of them would vomit again.

This incident actually managed to improve their relationship. Shao Hua started occasionally visiting Zhang Fan’s house under renovation when he was busy at work to check up on the renovation.

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