Pay With Your Heart

Chapter 44: ‘AML’

“Your name does suit you well. I’m Mrs Lee but call me Auntie” Mrs Lee said with a light smile which revealed her perfect set of teeth.

She could tell Eun-Sun was a good girl. It wouldn’t take much for someone to see the genuine actions of a person.

“Thanks....Auntie” Eun-Sun struggled to say. She wasn’t used to addressing anyone in such manner, except for Hei-Ran’s mother who she mostly also addressed as ‘Ma’. But it wouldn’t hurt being nice to this woman, right?. So she accepted calling her ‘Auntie’.

“How are you feeling now? Do you really don’t want to go to the hospital?” She asked, though the bleeding has miraculously stopped. Eun-Sun had the feeling that whatever was wrong with Mrs Lee had to be serious. People don’t just bleed from their noses right? She wondered what could be wrong with her.

But she curbed her curiosity and refrained herself from asking. It would rude if she prys into someone’s life.

Mrs Lee noticed the frown on Eun-Sun’s face and she could guess what the young lady had on her mind. It has to about her.

Seeing the worry written over Eun-Sun’s face made her feel warm but also heart broken. If a stranger was this worried about, she wondered how her family would feel if they saw her in this state talk more of knowing the truth about her illness. 𝗳𝐫𝘦e𝘸𝗲𝚋𝓃𝚘v𝘦𝘭.𝑐𝒐m

.....

“You don’t have to worry. I’m fine and I visited the hospital not too long ago” She reassured her. “This happens when I’m stressed, it’s nothing” She said with a reassuring smile, but Eun-Sun was not yet convinced. Remembering the way she had her earlier in the bathroom, Eun-Sun highly doubted if the woman was truly fine. What if she had not seen her in the bathroom?

Eun-Sun subconsciously shot her a doubtful look, making Mrs Lee smile amusedly. She liked her already.

“I’m fine” Mrs Lee said again. It seems she was going to have a hard time convincing her. Eun-Sun reminded her so much of her younger self.

Eun-Sun sighed wearily, “Okay, but you should take good care of yourself” though Mrs Lee no longer looked pale as much as she was before, she couldn’t help but still worry for her. Eun-Sun’s went silent as she stared at the woman.

“I guess you’re curious about what’s wrong with me” Mrs Lee spoke, shocking Eun-Sun out of her mind. Her eyes flew wide open, she has been caught. ‘But how did she know?’ Eun-Sun asked herself.

Mrs Lee saw Eun-Sun’s reaction and smiled. Of course she was right. Eun-Sun was just like her; ***

“AML” Mrs Lee said. f𝔯𝒆𝚎𝚠𝑒𝚋𝓃૦νℯƖ.co𝘮

“Huh?” Eun-Sun blinked in confusion.

“Acute Myelogenous Leukemia” Mrs said as she took a sip from the bottle.

“I...i don’t understand” Eun-Sun said, confusion clearly written on her face.

“That’s the answer to the question you are struggling with. I have Leukemia” Mrs Lee told her with a sad smile.

“....”

Eun-Sun stared blankly at her. Her face suddenly became pale white. She could feel her heart squeezing tightly against her chest. She was speechless.....

‘Leukemia? WTF’

Mrs Lee flashed her a sad smile when Eun-Sun continued to stare at her blankly. Her face revealed so many emotions; Pity, confusion, sadness. She knew Eun-Sun was feeling bad for her, so she sighed and said, “You don’t have to feel sad for me. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I haven’t spoken to anyone about it except my doctor. You’re the first person to know” She hissed.

“I wonder why I’m being this open to a stranger” She added with a smile, one Eun-Sun interpreted to be full of pain and fear. It must have been hard for her to hide such a secret and keep it to herself. She must be feeling lonely, even though she had people around her. This feeling was close to home.

“I..I don’t...I don’t know what to say” Eun-Sun said, her voice was sad and low, filled with so much pain.

“I know. Even I’m lost for words. It came as a big shock to me, and I still haven’t informed my husband and my son about it. I don’t know how to tell them about it”

“But why?” Eun-Sun didn’t know why she asked, but she felt like she had the answer to that already. It must be because Mrs Lee was like her. She was someone who carry her problems on her own and face the world with a smile, just because she didn’t want others to pity her or keep their lives tied down because of her.

“I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to hurt them and make them worry, most especially my son” Mrs Lee said as her eyes slowly turned red. Eun-Sun didn’t miss those sad eyes, so she quickly reached for Mrs Lee’s hand on the table and covered it with hers.

“It’s okay, I perfectly understand” Eun-Sun comforted, rubbing her hands over Mrs Lee’s.

“But you have to tell them. They are your family and you need them at this point in your life, even now especially. You’ll need them to share your burdens with you and help you when you can longer help yourself. You have to depend on them to help you get through this” Those words seems like words she should also tell herself, she needed to listen to her own advice first, or rather in her case, she had to cut her off the toxic relationship in her life or rather become less dependent on her mother who was anything but a mother to her.

“I don’t know” Mrs Lee shook her head as a tear fell from her eyes, she quickly lowered her head to hide her tears. She was pouring out her heart and crying in front of a stranger. She felt embarrassed, especially since she was the elder between them. Eun-Sun quickly got up from her seat and walked to her. She scrouched down and wiped off her tears.

What she didn’t say was that she didn’t know how to tell her son and husband that she had only a few months to live. That she would leave them behind and miss out on so many moments of their lives. This were the things that brought her to tears.