President, Our Egg Is Lost

“Hey, why are you silent?” Not hearing a response, Cheng Zong encouraged, “Friend Ji XiaoYu, you come over soon. If I go late, I won’t be able to buy fresh ingredients.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll be right there,” Ji XiaoYu said with an angry tone. He didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t help but do his job as a bodyguard and driver. He had to agree.

After getting up and washing up, he went into the hall with the little white egg. Liang ShaoGang was tinkering with something in the kitchen. When he saw him come out, he said, “Xiao Yu, I just cooked some porridge and steamed a pot of frozen buns. Come, come and eat while it’s hot.”

Ji XiaoYu said happily, “Alright, thank you, Liang Ge!”

While serving the porridge, Liang ShaoGang said, “How polite. These things aren’t comparable to the food of Ning Cheng Spring and Autumn, someone wouldn’t hesitate before giving these up.”

Ji XiaoYu grinned and said, “How could that be? Those meals were made by someone else and I wasn’t spending my own money on them. I can’t make them myself. Liang Ge, you’re very capable.”

Liang ShaoGang couldn’t help but laugh. “You have a sweet mouth, kid. This is my level of ability. Only someone who had led a pampered life would consider my level as competent.”

The porridge and buns tasted really bland, so Ji XiaoYu still ate a lot of them. Then he drove to the villa area.

As soon as he entered the door, Cheng YuTang said, “Perfect timing, I accidentally made too much earlier, so you……”

Without waiting for him to finish, Ji XiaoYu interrupted bluntly, “Cheng Zong, no need. Liang Ge made breakfast this morning, I’ve already eaten with him.”

Liang Ge, Liang Ge, who is he to you, calling him Ge? And you’re so reluctant to call me YuTang! In the early morning, Cheng Zong almost died from his anger at the little bodyguard. It was difficult to suppress the vinegar bubbling out of his heart, but he didn’t call Yang YiPeng to make him fire Liang ShaoGang.

Forget it, forget it, don’t let irrelevant people ruin a good weekend, Cheng YuTang pretended to be nonchalant, eating his tasteless breakfast alone, and then went to a large supermarket in the city with his little bodyguard.

Ji XiaoYu was usually busy at work and he didn’t cook for himself, so he rarely visited the supermarket. Usually if he was missing something, he would get it from a little shop nearby. So, when he entered, he pushed the shopping cart as he looked around in novelty.

Cheng YuTang was in a good mood again, hands in his pockets and following slowly behind him. Wherever Ji XiaoYu went, he went, neither anxious nor impatient. If the little thing’s gaze stayed on an item for more than three seconds, he didn’t hesitate to put it in the shopping cart. Without noticing, the shopping cart became more than half full.

Ji XiaoYu pushed the cart and spat in his heart, rich people are so extravagant, not even blinking their eyes when they buy something.

This one and that one were so expensive that a poor pheasant like him could only look at it. Cheng YuTang was throwing them in the cart as if he didn’t even need money, it wasn’t fair!

Past a row of shelves, there was some kind of jar piled up like a mountain at the front, with a billboard placed next to it, saying in a line of large letters: “‘Big Baby’ brand high-end baby formula, you deserve it.”

An auntie was shouting loudly in front of the billboard, “Look, look, take a look! Australia’s brand-new imported ‘Big Baby’ brand baby formula. Fresh, pure, and additive-free. Nutritious, delicious, and healthy! If you love them, then give this to them. Mothers and fathers, don’t miss out when you’re passing by!”

Instantly, all of Ji XiaoYu’s attention was attracted. He even forgot to push the shopping cart, running up to read the small words written on the billboard.

This was really strange. The abandoned Cheng YuTang stood next to the shopping cart, which had also been abandoned, touching his chin and thinking. There were many kinds of promo items in the supermarket. However, no matter what the little thing saw, he just took a look, so what was he going up to so aggressively?

Baby formula milk powder, didn’t this special use item and the fresh-faced, childish, na?ve XiaoYu not match? What caused the little thing to have such a big interest? He’d like to see what was so unique about this milk powder.

Ji XiaoYu was particularly eye-catching in the pile of mothers who were holding a child and young expectant parents surrounding the milk powder billboard. When the auntie stuffed the informational pamphlet into his hand, she said warmly, “This young man has grown up really handsome! Our ‘Big Baby’ milk powder is great, all natural and additive-free, it’s the best alternative to breast milk! Although the price is slightly more expensive than other brands, it’s expensive for a reason! Remember: things are only worth what you spend. This is what I’m preparing for my soon-to-be-born grandchild! Young man, are you buying it for your little brother or are you going to gift it the children of relatives or friends? How old is the baby now?”

Ji XiaoYu’s face flushed at the question and he squeaked out, “I-I don’t have a younger brother, and I’m not giving it away. I’m just, just taking a look……”

The auntie laughed cheerfully, “Okay, learn about it first, in case there’s a need to buy it anytime! Auntie will give you this membership card; if you buy three cans or more at a time, you’ll get 5% off, you’ll save dozens of yuan!”

“Okay, thank you, auntie!” Ji XiaoYu listened and couldn’t help but be overjoyed. He quickly took the membership card and kept looking back again and again as he walked away.

“What, you want to buy milk powder?” someone suddenly asked in his ear.

“Not buying it now, I want to learn first……”

Lifting his head revealed it was Cheng YuTang and Ji XiaoYu’s face began to heat again. He then felt the little white egg roll gently in his pocket.

“Why are you going to buy milk powder?” Cheng YuTang looked at him a bit questioningly, “You don’t have a baby. As far as I know, there don’t seem to be any relatives or friends who have a nursing child. Do you know what milk powder is for?”

Ji XiaoYu didn’t want to listen to this kind of thing and he said stubbornly, “E-even if I don’t have a baby now, doesn’t mean I won’t have one in the future!”

Hmph, this little master is giving you a break for the sake of you being my boss, otherwise I’d pull the little white egg out to scare you to death!

Cheng YuTang’s expression immediately went dark. What do you mean “doesn’t mean that I won’t have one in the future”? Little thing, are you preparing to marry a wife and have a baby?

Had he been too indulgent with this little thing during this time, so that he had some unrealistic, ridiculous fantasy?

Truly spare the rod, spoil the child.

As long as I’m around, I’ll definitely never allow that kind of thing to happen! 𝒇𝙧𝚎𝐞𝙬𝒆𝑏𝑛𝑜v𝚎𝒍.c𝑜m

Ji XiaoYu saw the president’s face go dark, with a faint sign of a storm brewing, and involuntarily shrunk his neck. Who’s he planning to scare with such a stinky face? We’re in the supermarket. Isn’t it bad for this man to fight me in public?

Don’t come over here, or this little master won’t be able to hold himself back!

Cheng YuTang saw Ji XiaoYu staring at him with an alert look and the anger in his mind that had almost exploded calmed down a bit. This little thing seemed to like children very much. But he couldn’t satisfy his wishes. However, a man didn’t have to marry a wife to have children. As long as they can afford to pay, there are other ways in the world to achieve this goal.

Thinking of this, Cheng YuTang’s expression finally improved and he said inscrutably, “Yes, you’ll have one in the future. Give me the info pamphlets, so I can learn in advance too.”

Ji XiaoYu: “……”

What’s going on, how did Cheng Zong’s attitude suddenly reverse 180 degrees? That expression is so bad, like he’s planning a scheme that should never see the light of day.

Does he know about the existence of the little white egg?

No, no way! That’s absolutely impossible for a human being, just like the Arabian Nights. If Cheng YuTang really knows, how can he be so calm and collected?

Nevertheless, Ji XiaoYu was still a little bit sullen. This man was too clever, so he’d have to be careful later.

Half an hour later, the two pushed the cart full of things to the checkout counter. Ji XiaoYu’s eye was caught by a variety of small boxes placed on the shelves next to the counter.

Cheng YuTang glanced at him, then smiled and laughed, “What, you want this?”

“Can’t I?” Ji XiaoYu lifted his chin. He had noticed that the price of these sweets wasn’t too expensive. He could get about a dozen pieces for 20 yuan, he could afford that with his financial strength.

So he casually took a box of strawberry flavor from the shelf and, proud of himself, provocatively said to Cheng YuTang, “I’ll buy this myself!”

“That brand is so-so, take this instead.” Cheng YuTang, with a meaningful smile, took another box from the shelf and handed it to him. It was decorated with a little yellow banana.

“Really?” Ji XiaoYu took it with suspicion, this is several times more expensive, will it taste particularly good?

He looked at the box and couldn’t help but read the small print on it: “Ultra-thin long-lasting, the ultimate enjoyment, let the distance between you and your lover become infinitely close to zero……”

This, this, this is candy? Why does the advertising slogan look so ambiguous, is this serious?

When he saw the words “XX Condoms” on the small box, suddenly his face went bright red. He felt that the people around him were side-eyeing him. He wished he could find a place to dig a pit right then. Isn’t this that legendary thing?!

He had once seen an introduction to such family planning supplies on TV, so he knew that it was for some kind of special activity, but this was the first time he had seen the real thing in real life. Who knew it was just a glance away!

Cheng YuTang must have known what it was just now and had deliberately messed around with him for fun, oh papa, I’m really a dead spiritual beast!

He had guessed correctly, Cheng YuTang had done that on purpose. But listening to him read the slogan word by word, he suddenly lost control of part of his body.

Oh no, I wanted to tease the little thing, but I didn’t think I’d be throwing myself in a pit.

Fortunately, the coat he was wearing was long enough to cover a certain part, otherwise it would be awkward.

The cashier girl also heard Ji XiaoYu’s words as he read and almost burst out laughing. She looked up again at Ji XiaoYu and then at the one by his side, Cheng YuTang. Her face went red with excitement, her gaze whooshed back and forth carefully. Oh, god, what a perfect match! These two are both so handsome. A mature black belly and a naive innocent, such a good match, dontcha know!

Unfortunately she was busy at the moment, otherwise she would secretly take a photo and post it online. It would definitely go viral!

Cheng YuTang saw the little thing blushing and practically spitting up blood, no, it looked like he was suffering with no desire to live, and it was hard to hold back his laugh. He cleared his throat with a cough and soothed him, “It’s no big deal, we’re all adults here. It’s normal to buy this kind of thing.”

The hell it’s normal, ah ah ah ah! Ji XiaoYu was so embarrassed that steam was going to come off his entire body. He wanted to throw the small banana box back on the shelf, but he was afraid that he would be laughed at for being immature, not to mention that he had just boasted about buying it, so he couldn’t just blink and change his mind. He could only pay for it and then he’d shove it guiltily into the inner pocket of his coat.

He waited for Cheng YuTang to pay for all the items in his cart just to buy his one item himself. The heat on his face only reduced a bit. In his heart, he was still annoyed, why do I always do such stupid things? Always stupid and always in front of a certain someone. The heavens really despise me!

It felt like a feather was brushing back and forth inside Cheng YuTang’s heart, as if he was itchy to his bones. He really wanted to say more, but he swallowed back the words. Forget it, we’re in a public place right now, have to exercise a little restraint. Otherwise, if I provoke this guy, he could become hostile to me right here and it would be hard to fix that.

When will the time come for that little banana to be used? He began to hope for that day to come soon.

—

Footnotes:

1. spare the rod and spoil the child (真是三天不打上房揭瓦): idiom, literally three days without a beating and a child will climb on the roof to destroy it

—

yes, when? B^J