President, Our Egg Is Lost

A week passed by in a flash. After transferring to the underground parking lot, under heavy pressure from Fang DaXing, Ji XiaoYu went through a few days of on-the-job training, being rushed to learn the relevant knowledge, and then officially began his duties.

Fang DaXing viewed him as a nuisance and sent him to be an area patrolman, to walk back and forth in the parking lot on patrol to ensure the safety and order of the environment and also to provide services when the car owners needed them.

To be honest, this job was a bit more leisurely than being a lobby security guard, but Ji XiaoYu has always been a restless person, so when he had nothing to do, he got bored. However, there was often no one to talk to in the parking lot and most of the time it was just him alone talking to himself in front of these lumps of iron. And when there were a lot of people, they came with cars, so he had to keep smelling car exhaust and it wasn’t a good experience for this scent-sensitive pheasant spirit.

Work in the underground parking lot was also divided into three shifts, morning, midday, and evening. As soon as Ji XiaoYu started, he was on a two-day morning shift with Fang DaXing, from midnight to eight in the morning. This time period was the most boring, because not even a shadow of a ghost might be seen for a few hours, but sleeping wasn’t allowed. This was suffocating to him.

Two days later, on Saturday, Fang DaXing also didn’t give Ji XiaoYu a day off, but asked him to go on the evening shift, from 4pm to midnight.

If HongSheng’s security guards were on duty on weekends and holidays, they’d be paid overtime in accordance with the state regulations. Therefore, Ji XiaoYu had no resistance to the overtime, but was instead very excited. He took a long nap first and then ran to HongSheng after 3:30pm.

The urban design of Ning City was very good. There were tree-lined roads everywhere and there were special pedestrian walkways on both sides of the road. They was also flat and clean, so Ji XiaoYu could run very smoothly and didn’t feel tired at all.

He was tall with long legs and had excellent looks. So running vigorously and briskly, like a gust of wind, all along the way, he made many passers-by do a double-take.

A silver sports car was stopped on the side of the road waiting for a red light. The rear seat window was open and a man in casual clothes was leaning back in the seat with his eyes closed.

Ji XiaoYu happened to run down the sidewalk next to him, causing a girl who was heading directly towards him to shout at her companion with shining eyes, “Wow, look at that handsome guy!”

“Really so handsome, like a star. Quick, take a picture!”

“Aiya, I didn’t get it, he’s running too fast!”

Cheng YuTang was woken up. And with some unhappiness, he opened his eyes and glanced out the window at random. His gaze suddenly focused and glued to the figure like a shadow. That back, that waist, that butt, those long legs……..

Who knew how but he suddenly remembered a popular phrase commonly used on news reports for descriptions – a beautiful landscape in the city.

When the thought crossed his mind, he felt vulgar.

After just a few seconds, the intersection lights changed and the driver started the vehicle to drive forward. Ji XiaoYu had already run far away in the direction of HongSheng and he could no longer see him.

Cheng YuTang made a ‘tsk’ sound and tried to pull his gaze from the window.

The driver had been closely keeping an eye on his boss’s every move, so he asked, “Cheng Zong, what’s wrong? Is there a problem?”

Cheng YuTang was about to say ‘nothing’ but the words changed when they reached his lips, “I just thought of something still to be done at the company. I won’t take a break today. Take another route to bring me to the company.”

“Yes.”

The driver thought to himself, this president really is such a workaholic, his life is too self-disciplined and boring. Over the weekend, he has to go to the company to work overtime. Working harder than an ordinary employee. He’s earned so much money and I’ve never seen him enjoy it, why even bother?

Cheng YuTang naturally didn’t know that in his driver’s eyes, he had become a robot who only knew how to work and didn’t understand pleasure. He thought about it again and said, “When you get to the company, you’ll be free to leave. When I’m finished, I’ll drive myself home, and you can take the day off tomorrow too.”

Although reason told him that this decision wasn’t calm and collected at all, very much contrary to his usual, habitual style, when he recruited that little thing half a month ago, he hadn’t even thought about what he wanted to do with that person but now he couldn’t help it.

I can’t bear it so I won’t bear it anymore. Fuck it, he was the president, today was the weekend, what he wanted to do he could do, no one could to stop him.

“Alright, thank you, Mr. Cheng.”

The driver was happy to accept. As a boss, there was nothing to be picky over with Cheng Zong, he was plenty generous. When the subordinates under him did their jobs well and if they didn’t touch his principles and the bottom line, he was even more generous.

Thinking of how he could relax that night and tomorrow, the driver’s mood suddenly soared just like Cheng Zong’s and the car started going a little faster than before.

……..

Because it was a weekend, the workload was less than usual, so the parking garage was more than half empty, with employees who were working overtime occasionally going in and out. Ji XiaoYu was idle, just wandering around and looking over all the cars leisurely.

Thanks to his cramming before, he had learned the basic traffic rules and vehicle knowledge, so Ji XiaoYu wasn’t as oblivious as before. Although he had no practical experience, he wouldn’t need to ask any more about the common brands of vehicles, their performance, configuration, grade, etc.

But what he knew best was that no matter what type of car, as long as it had four wheels, it could be estimated that he couldn’t afford it. Even if he would afford it, he couldn’t afford the various follow-up costs, such as fuel and maintenance; the miscellaneous long-running costs were simply a bottomless pit. He didn’t even want to think about it.

After waiting a little longer, he would buy a two-wheeled vehicle, better economically and environmentally friendly!

When it was almost 6pm, as he passed by the elevator, he happened across a stylish, beautiful woman with lips as red as fire. Rich chestnut curls rested on her shoulders and she was striding on 10cm stilettos and, like a catwalk model walking on a TV broadcast, her hips swung as she walked.

This was the first time Ji XiaoYu had ever seen such a beautiful woman and, at first glance, he couldn’t shift his gaze. It wasn’t because his soul was stolen by the other’s beauty, but that the aura of this beautiful woman gave off an unusual scent, which caught his attention.

The beauty apparently noticed Ji XiaoYu too. That pair of beautiful almond eyes seemed to instantly light up and the amber-colored iris was illuminated by the light. Then the slender fingers, painted with red nail polish, were brushed through a wisp of hair on the side of her face, revealing to him a charming smile hiding all sorts of meaning, “Hey, handsome boy, does this jiejie look good?”

“……” Ji XiaoYu felt as if someone was taking liberties with him and he suddenly shifted his gaze away uncomfortably. He ignored the beauty’s words and just said dryly, “Miss, good evening.”

The beauty glanced at the nametag on his chest and read his name in a charming manner, “Ji. Xiao. Yu.” Then she chuckled, “Xiao Yu-didi, I’ve never seen you before. You’re new here, aren’t you? My name is Su MiaoEr. I’m the manager of HongSheng’s Advertising Department. Do you want to become acquainted with me?”

Ji XiaoYu had often been picked up by girls since entering the city, but the girls were usually joking around. Someone like this brazen red fruit in front of him, this was the first. Far from feeling excitement, he instead just felt awkward. Not to mention, Cheng YuTang had warned him on the first day when he was working in the lobby, so he didn’t dare to make any more mistakes. He said solemnly, “Manager Su, excuse me, I’m at work, so it’s not convenient to chat.”

“Well, then forget it.” Su MiaoEr raised a carefully-shaped eyebrow and threw a wink at Ji XiaoYu. Then she walked a few steps forward. As she turned next to a pillar, she took a step on her slender heel and suddenly stumbled. She watched stunned as she was about to fall on the oh-so-hard concrete floor.

“Be careful!” Ji XiaoYu stepped forward without thinking and supported Su MiaoEr with a helping hand.

Su MiaoEr gently leaned against his shoulders as if she were boneless, then pursed her lips and heaved a sigh next to his ear. There was charm in her words as she spoke, “Meow~ Little rooster, do you want to dual cultivate with your jiejie, ah?”

Ji XiaoYu’s scalp suddenly went numb, I gotta get away, this is a cat spirit!

And dual cultivate or whatever, how can she say such a shameful thing in such a casual tone!?

Also, how can this cat spirit tell at a glance that I’m a pheasant spirit? He had just thought that Su MiaoEr was a little strange, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly was up with this woman. Was there so much difference between the two of them?

Taking advantage of Ji XiaoYu’s confusion, Su MiaoEr raised her hand and walked her fingers up his chest. Her index fingertip separated from his skin by a layer of security uniform fabric, she traced a circle along the contours of his chest muscles, laughing and saying, “Ai yo, I couldn’t see it before. You’re so skinny, but you turned out to be quite developed here. I just can’t tell how it’s grown down there, do you want your jiejie to check it out for you?”

A layer of goosebumps spread all over Ji XiaoYu’s body, Oh papa, this cat spirit is terrible!

There had also been a savvy but very nasty bobcat spirit on Xiao Qing Shan. In the past, she always used to tease and flirt with Ji XiaoYu. Ji XiaoYu was too simple in those early years, a pure little rooster who didn’t understand anything. Following the bobcat spirit’s words, the two of them made a date and he went, only to be mercilessly teased, so that he almost lost all face in front of the spiritual beasts of Xiao Qing Shan. It was still unbearable to think about.

So he had learned his lesson: when you see the bobcat spirit, take a detour. If the other came close, he would get into a fighting pose, not showing any weakness towards the opposite sex at all. The bobcat spirit found this boring and, from then on, no longer harassed him.

Based on this previous lesson, Ji XiaoYu couldn’t tell if this cat spirit in his arms really wanted to brew soy sauce with him or, just like the one on Xiao Qing Shan, was just amusing herself by teasing him.

Before he could push Su MiaoEr away, someone behind him shouted, “Ji XiaoYu, what are you doing?!”

Ji XiaoYu shivered, just like a child who has been caught doing something bad behind his parents’ back. Sharply locking his hands behind his back, he took a big step to the side, and quickly spoke to defend himself, “I, I didn’t do anything!”

Off-guard, Su MiaoEr lost her balance and really almost fell down, but as a cat spirit, the flexibility of her body was better than average, so with a twist of her slender waist, she stabilized herself against the pillar, but she still looked a little awkward.

Cheng YuTang took long strides out of the special elevator. First, he glanced at Ji XiaoYu, then he turned to Su MiaoEr and asked in a flat tone, “Manager Su, what happened just now?”

Su MiaoEr took a moment to compose herself back to an attitude of decency and grace, then she smiled and replied, “I just accidentally stumbled. Fortunately, this new security guard friend helped me.”

(t/n: the term for friend here is also slang for ‘gay guy’ coming from a historical usage of ‘person who shares the same interests’)

“So it was like this.” Cheng YuTang pushed up his glasses. His lips seemed to have a little curve to them, like a smile, “This little friend is so helpful to others, he’s worthy of praise.”

As he said “praise”, Cheng Zong’s tone was also very gentle, but, Ji XiaoYu inexplicably sensed a hint of punishment in his words and all the hair on his body collectively stood up.

— 𝗳𝘳𝐞e𝙬𝙚𝚋𝗻𝚘𝚟𝗲l.𝑐𝑜ｍ

Footnotes:

1. red fruit (赤果果): internet slang to get around censorship of the word “naked”, can mean obvious or unsubtle

2. brew soy sauce (酱酱酿酿): internet slang to refer to having sex, literally “in this way, in that way”

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our lil guy is growing up and starting to use internet slang T_T whyyyy