President, Our Egg Is Lost

Chapter Sixty-Seven, Fanwai – Chronicle of a Dangerous Adventure: On this mysterious, dark Friday, the Cheng family’s DaBao and ErBao were both lost

On the morning of July 19th, the president of HongSheng and his husband returned safe and sound from a distant place, causing the jaws of countless people to drop.

After all, the night before, the honorable president had had systemic organ failure and the situation had been very critical. Helpless, the hospital had issued three critically ill notices. It was said that the Cheng family daughter-in-law, because of his excessive grief, couldn’t bear to watch his spouse die, so he’d driven away from the hospital beforehand to who knows where.

But it had turned out that at 3am, when a group of doctors at the Ning City People’s Hospital had declared that the treatment was ineffective, that he wouldn’t live until sunrise, just then, suddenly, he had opened his eyes and woken up. All the medical monitoring instruments connected to his body returned to normal indications at that moment, as if he had come back to life through a miracle, almost scaring the doctors out of their wits. 𝙛𝚛𝙚ewe𝗯𝓃𝗼ѵ𝚎Ɩ.𝒄ｏ𝐦

Anyway, it was good that the president came back totally alright. After all, Cheng Zong had always been healthy his whole life. If he had died in his own hospital after one night, it would have been a devastating blow to Ning City People’s Hospital, which had just received a large investment from HongSheng, and they wouldn’t have been able to explain it to the media and the public. So despite how unscientific this matter was, the hospital very sensibly decided not to pursue it – of course, with their experience and insight, even if they pursued it, they wouldn’t figure it out.

When Cheng Zong had woken up, he had seen his parents and child around the bed, but he hadn’t seen his little lover. In surprise, he had asked why. After learning from his parents what had happened during his coma, Cheng Zong had been silent for a few minutes and then had said, “Mom, Dad, take care of PaoPao, I’ll get XiaoYu back,” and then he’d rushed out of the ICU, at a speed that could compete with his bodyguard spouse’s, so fast that no one could catch up.

Father and Mother Cheng, along with the doctors of the People’s Hospital and the high- and low-level employees of HongSheng, had waited in fear for four hours, and then finally the couple came back holding hands, unscathed. First they were all shocked, then happy.

When they closed the door after returning home, the older couple learned there was still another surprise that had been hidden – the young couple had brought back a little egg, Ji XiaoYu’s ErBao, which meant that the two of them would have another grandchild.

The older couple were in what could be called a joyous mood, taking turns holding the little egg and loving it, asking the young couple a lot of questions. After all, the young couple had returned to the capital for the Spring Festival, when Cheng PaoPao was already a chick, so they had missed this little egg stage.

As the four adults were all talking about the little egg, Cheng PaoPao, who had originally been playing with a toy car on the other side of the carpet, suddenly ran over, grabbed the little egg from Mother Cheng’s hand, and shoved it in his mouth.

“PaoPao, this can’t be eaten!” Ji XiaoYu was shocked, quickly snatching the little egg from his son’s hand.

“Bad egg!” Cheng PaoPao puffed out his cheeks and said inarticulately.

The older couple was suddenly overjoyed. Their eldest grandchild had called out ‘father’ last night and that had flipped the switch on his ability to speak. So one word was jumping out after another – him saying ‘milk’ was particularly cute.

Cheng YuTang patted Cheng PaoPao’s head, saying with a smile, “PaoPao, it’s not a bad egg, it’s your little brother.”

Cheng PaoPao furrowed his little brow, wearing an expression showing he still didn’t understand.

Father Cheng said cheerfully, “We have to give ErBao a name.”

Mother Cheng immediately added, “Yes, yes, yes, the formal name and the childhood name must be both good and easy to remember, but also meaningful!”

So the old couple and the young couple had another heated discussion.

Cheng PaoPao wore an unhappy expression and, with all of his strength, he pulled one of the wheels off the car.

The four adults discussed for a long time and finally gave ErBao the name Cheng XiRan, implying that the little guy was born when the light had begun to brighten. His childhood name was DangDang, like the ringing of a bell, *dangdang*.

(t’n: XiRan means brightly/warmly; dang dang = ding dong)

So although Cheng DangDang was still just an egg, it was already loved by the entire family – except its brother, Cheng PaoPao.

Cheng YuTang fulfilled his promise to his little wife and child. He personally incubated Xiao DengPao No. 2. He took it with him to work every day and, at night, after dual cultivating with his little wife, he went to sleep with it under his belly. For 24 hours a day, well, at least 20 hours, he stayed in close contact with ErBao.

Ji XiaoYu was happy to hand it over at first, having nothing to do with it every day. But after a few days, he got a bit reluctant. When he was at home, he was always thinking about whether his children’s father and ErBao were okay at the company, if they were careful or not, if there were any accidents. So he arranged a schedule with his children’s father. On odd days, his children’s father took it, on even days, he took it with him himself, and on their day off, Sunday, the husbands worked together.

No matter which of them took it, every day, the man would exchange friendly, warm parent-child dialogue with Xiao DengPao No. 2.

“DangDang, morning, the weather is very nice today, so let’s play the roll-away game!

“DangDang, this “Chicken Run” is great to watch…… Hahahaha, do you think it’s particularly funny? Do you want to know what happened to that chick right there? Hahahaha, I won’t tell you!

“DangDang, it’s time to sleep, listen to Daddy’s voice, I’ll sing a nice song for you! You are my little apple, my love for you will never be enough, your little reddish cheeks warm my heart, light up the fire, fire, fire, fire in my life…”

– This was DangDang’s Dad.

“DangDang, children can’t pee anywhere, there’s a specific place to go – that is the toilet. Period.

“DangDang, don’t blindly rush in when you’re in danger. First analyze the power gap between yourself and the enemy, have a certain grasp of how you’ll fight against them. If you can’t win, then run. From the Thirty-Six Stratagems: if all else fails, retreat. It’s not shameful to do so.

“DangDang, we all must develop good habits and routines. Now Father will sing you a lullaby and when the song is over, we will go to sleep together: Sleep well, little baby, how beautiful the blue night sky is, the little stars are twinkling, accompany you to sleep peacefully……””

– This was DangDang’s Father.

There were also Father and Mother Cheng. Just seeing Xiao DengPao No. 2 would have them fiercely boasting: “Our DangDang is the most cute, the most beautiful little egg under the sky! Look how smooth the eggshell is! How sleek the shape! The chick who hatches will definitely be the smartest and most imposing chick in the world!”

DangDang, DangDang, DangDang, DangDang, here DangDang, there also DangDang, DangDang is the best, DangDang is the greatest, so you don’t like PaoPao anymore?

Cheng PaoPao was very angry and so the consequences were very serious.

Can’t bear it, really can’t bear it anymore. On a certain Friday afternoon nearly a year later, when Daddy went to the company with Xiao DengPao No. 2 to pick up Father and Grandma was preparing dinner in the kitchen, Grandpa, who was supposed to be playing with him on the playground, also went into the house to use the bathroom. At this time, Cheng PaoPao was determined to run away from home.

Although he was only a year and a half old and he was still a little chub, his mental and physical development was ahead of the curve. His motor skills were developed and his movements were very flexible, so he could run so fast that adults couldn’t catch up easily.

After suffering a little fire and constipation from eating too many chili peppers, Father Cheng left the toilet after twenty minutes and found that the playground was empty and his eldest grandchild was gone.

Father Cheng just wanted to lay down and cry, my grandson always has an incident while in my care. How could this happen? How will I tell the family?!

Mother Cheng heard the sound from inside the kitchen. She became incredibly angry and anxious, what are you doing in a daze, hurry up and find him!

However, when the old couple went to the villa community’s security department and pulled up all the surveillance videos from inside and outside the villa to look, they didn’t find a trace of their big grandchild. It was exactly the same as the original case where Cheng PaoPao, in the form of a fat little chick, was lost in the store.

Meanwhile, who would have imagined this crazy situation but Ji XiaoYu also encountered trouble. Shortly after driving away from the villa community, he had been in a car accident, hit by two trucks. Although he was a skilled driver and his skills were out of the ordinary, in order to avoid the other innocent vehicles on the road, his sports car was hit by the roadside and crushed into a lump of iron.

Fortunately, he did not have any serious problems himself, only a slight scratch and minor bruises, since he had jumped out in time before the car was squashed. However, before he could even stand upright, he was besieged by a group of criminals.

This time, unlike the previous two fights with the traffickers, the problem couldn’t be solved in the blink of an eye, because this group of gangsters wasn’t human, but a group of cultivated rat spirits. One of them was from the night before Ji XiaoYu left the little restaurant, the egg-stealing thief who he had once beaten soundly. Although this group of rat spirits wasn’t as strong as Ji XiaoYu, the fight was very dangerous and difficult and it was still a bit tricky when he was swarmed.

After he spent nearly half an hour beating up all the rat spirits, he habitually touched the outer pocket of his coat, uh oh, ErBao is missing!

So on this mysterious, dark Friday, the Cheng family’s DaBao and ErBao were both lost.

……

Perhaps because of his many adventures after being laid, but Cheng PaoPao was inherently a child who was very sensitive to his environment, with a lot of awareness towards his surroundings and his safety. There were a few surveillance cameras near his home and he knew completely where these cameras were, so he cleverly avoided them when he left the playground.

Behind the playground was a small grove and through the grove was the wall of the villa community. A few months ago, Cheng PaoPao had found a small hole under the wall, impassable for an adult, but he could crawl through, so he crawled out through that little hole.

The world outside was very vast and beautiful too. Cheng PaoPao often went out with his family, but this was the first time he had gone out on his own. It felt natural, fresh, and exciting. Even though it was just ordinary flowers and grass on the roadside with beetles jumping and grasshoppers flying through the grass, it seemed a lot more interesting today than it had been in the past.

The villa community was built on the outskirts of the city suburbs, so it wasn’t a bustling street outside the back courtyard, but a large field and farmland with several small dirt roads winding through the middle.

Cheng PaoPao randomly chose a road to walk along. He didn’t know where he was going; he just wanted to get away from the villa community, away from the household – mainly that nasty Xiao DengPao No. 2 – for a little further.

It was also unfortunate that as he was walking through the fields, he didn’t meet another person along the way and didn’t turn onto another highway for a long time.

The sky was already dark, so Cheng PaoPao figured it was about 7 or 8pm. He has been gone for several hours and his legs were sore from walking.

There were no pedestrians on the road, only countless vehicles roaring by with glaring headlights. The gravel around Cheng PaoPao was spit up at him, scratching the delicate skin on his face and hurting him. He used to love these fast-moving, imposing vehicles, but now he felt revulsion and fear and thought that they were as scary as giant metal monsters.

In addition to that, he was also hungry and a little thirsty too.

When he was a baby, he had his own little dinner table. In addition to drinking milk, Grandma and Father would also give him special rice paste, meat broth, and vegetable juice or whatever. When he grew up and his teeth grew out more, he got to eat a lot of food too. There were several things he liked to eat for every meal and he could eat two big, fragrant bowls. Usually, the household would have dinner before 7pm, so at this point, he would have already been full, but now he didn’t even have saliva to swallow.

There was water in the gutter on the side of the road, but he couldn’t drink it. Grandpa had said that the water there wasn’t clean, that there were a lot of bacteria in it and that he could get sick if he drank it. His stomach hurt, so he could only endure his thirst.

But it was very difficult to bear. Cheng PaoPao was not only hungry and thirsty, but also exhausted and sleepy. He fought the closing of his eyelids and he could no longer walk, so he sat his little butt on the ground.

He remembered when he would sleep in a crib when he was a baby. The crib and Daddy and Father’s big bed were close together, so he could crawl into the big bed at any time. Every night, Daddy and Father would sing or tell a story to put him to sleep, Father could sing very nicely and tell a very interesting story too, so he had loved that a lot. Daddy always sang out of tune and the song “Little Apple” made his ears want to burst, and his stories would be all topsy-turvy with no ending, so he used to hate it, but now he thought of them and missed them.

Sometimes it would rain and thunder in the middle of the night when he was sleeping and the rumbling would be terrible. Daddy and Father would turn on the lights at first, taking turns holding him to soothe him, and coax him back to sleep. And if he didn’t want to sleep in the crib, he would squash between Daddy and Father and Daddy and Father wouldn’t kick him out, totally indulging him.

And then later, he had his own separate room, big and beautiful, with a lot of fun toys inside, more than 10 chicken stuffies, both large and small. The room was covered with fluffy blankets, so he could lie on them and roll freely. When he was tired, he would just hold a chicken stuffie and get some sleep. There were no words for how comfortable it was.

But now that he had left home, it was all gone.

The more Cheng PaoPao thought about it, the more sad he became. He wanted to go home. He wanted Grandpa and Grandma and Daddy and Father. Although they’re now focused on ErBao and don’t like me anymore, I still like them all the same.

However, looking around, the lush and vibrant fields were all he could see, he couldn’t see the road at all. Even if he could see clearly, he wouldn’t dare go back there alone now.

So, he couldn’t go home.

Cheng PaoPao was both sad and scared. He flattened his lips and was just about to cry, when suddenly he heard a young cry nearby, “Ch-cheep cheep.”

He bowed his head and looked and found a small chick with a pale yellow fluff and a maroon-colored spots on his back standing in the grass next to the road. He was very, very small, not even the size of his own fist, seeming like he just hatched from his shell.

The little chick came out of the grass crookedly and blinked his pair of silky eyes at him. When he saw that he wasn’t responding, he pecked his hand with his little yellow beak.

Cheng PaoPao almost jumped away out of shock. This was the ErBao of their family, his didi, Cheng DangDang!

It was so late and this was a road outside, how could a hatched Cheng DangDang appear here?

Cheng PaoPao held the chick in his hands and asked curiously, “Cheng DangDang, how did you run over here as a chick? Did you run away from home too?”

The chick naturally didn’t answer, just happily pecked his hand again.

Cheng PaoPao was itching to smile, but tried to hold back, saying with a straight face, “You bad little egg, naughty boy, Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy, and Father are so nice to you, why do you run away from home? There are a lot of strangers out here who will snatch you up and make chicken mushroom stew!”

The chick didn’t look afraid at all, flapping his little wings excitedly.

Cheng PaoPao tapped his little head with a finger and said with an exasperated sigh, “Hmph, just wait until you get home, Daddy’s gonna spank you!”

In fact, he felt very guilty. He ran away from home first, his grandparents and parents would be really angry and might spank him too.

If they were going to spank, let them spank. Even if his butt was spanked until it split like a blossoming flower, he had to go back too.

Cheng PaoPao’s spirit was refreshed. He held Cheng DangDang as he walked along the highway, hoping this road would go home.

After he walked for a while, a very familiar car pulled over from the side and drove over. After a few seconds, it backed up and then the door opened. Two even more familiar men ran out of the car, straight to his side, and held him while laughing and crying.

“PaoPao, PaoPao, my baby son, thank the heavens Daddy finally found you!”

“PaoPao, are you okay? Did you get hurt anywhere? Just show Father!”

“Hey, what are you holding in your hand, PaoPao? Oh heavens, it’s a chick, he’s, he’s……”

“He’s our ErBao, PaoPao’s didi, DangDang.”

“PaoPao, did you sense that your brother was stolen away, so you came out to find him? Wuwuwuwu, darling, you’re amazing, so brave. You’re Daddy’s little hero, Daddy loves you so much!”

“Baby, now you can rest assured. Our family’s PaoPao has grown up, he’s a little man.”

“That’s right! My, my boys, let’s go home!”

Cheng PaoPao thought it was really noisy, but it was especially reassuring. Although Daddy and Father seem to have misunderstood something, he didn’t plan on explaining it. It was just fine like this right now. All his previous grievances, fears, uneasiness, and sadness disappeared. As soon as he got in the car, he fell asleep in his daddy’s arms.

Yes, home.

It’s good to be home.

— 𝘧𝓇𝗲𝑒we𝙗noѵ𝑒l.𝐜o𝘮

Footnotes:

1. Thirty-Six Strategems (三十六计): a Chinese essay illustrating stratagems for politics, war, and civil interactions

—

?? goodbye, family of four ??????

next up are the two spinoff CP extras, so if you aren’t interested in those, this would be the end for you~