President, Our Egg Is Lost

“The man who started you, or how else were you pregnant with this egg?” Hou ChangSheng was an old monkey spirit familiar with the world. When saying such shocking words, he used the same tone used to chat about the weather, “Hens can lay eggs without a rooster, roosters don’t have that ability.”

Ji XiaoYu’s face was so red it was about to drip blood. “I, I don’t know, ah, I didn’t have sleep and have a good time with anyone. I just saw this egg when I was shocked by the sound of firecrackers…….”

“Why are you so muddleheaded?” Hou ChangSheng shook his head, like this only when he has a secret or is thin-skinned and too embarrassed to speak. “Well, didn’t you work well in Xing Cheng before, why did you suddenly run back?”

Not to say this was okay, as soon as this was brought up, Ji XiaoYu’s heart filled with shame and anger.

As a successful pheasant spirit, Ji XiaoYu’s body was bright and colorful and his tail feathers were long and gorgeous; he was the most beautiful bird on Xiao Qing Shan. His human form was no less beautiful, he was a rather handsome young man of delicate beauty.

Ji XiaoYu turned 18 years old last year and, due to a yearning for the sensual pleasures of the teeming human world, he went down the mountain to Xing Cheng. Because of his outstanding looks, together with his good brain and sweet mouth, it was easy for him to win people over. Therefore, although he had no relevant work experience, with only the ID card made for him previously by Hou ChangSheng and Qing Shan Town secondary school diploma, a slightly upscale hotel in Xing Cheng made an exception and accepted him as a service employee.

Ji XiaoYu was very dedicated, learning many things from his new job, so he was very busy every day from morning till night. And in order to avoid revealing his identity, he was very careful to keep a certain distance from the people around him, so the relationships with his colleagues were pretty weak. He didn’t make any friends in that year, so it was impossible to develop with anyone – especially a man – the sexual relationship and love so that they could produce eggs together.

Originally, Ji XiaoYu had been doing a good job at that hotel. One night at the end of the year, suddenly there was a guest with an extraordinary background who came. When the boss asked him to go to room 1616 as accompaniment for the wine, saying that he would send him a big red envelope after the task was completed, he went in a hurry. As a result, that fat, prosperous-looking man gave him a glass of wine that was actually drugged, so that his whole body became soft and delirious and he was touched on the face by the disgusting man’s fat pig hand. It was so disgusting that he almost threw up his dinner.

Although Ji XiaoYu was greatly weakened by the effect of the drug at the time, only 10% of his strength was enough for him to knock down that weak, frail man with one punch. Then he staggered out from room 1616, dizzy and unable to walk straight, so he turned into another room and, muddleheaded, went to sleep.

What happened after, Ji XiaoYu didn’t have much impression, only vaguely remembering that there was a heavy rainstorm outside, with lightning and thunder, just like a giant evil beast was causing a calamity. He was tossed and turned like a loaf for most of the night and the feeling was as tormenting and exciting as the weather outside the window, until he was too lethargic and passed out.

By the time Ji XiaoYu woke up in the high-class suite in the middle of the night, he was the only one in the room.

Because of his abilities, his body had the capability for self-healing, so Ji XiaoYu didn’t feel anything too unusual except for a bit of backache, with a few mysterious marks on his body. However, he was very angry at the hotel owner for betraying him to curry favor with that worthless man and immediately got up to find the guy and beat him into a rotten pig head.

Afterwards, Ji XiaoYu realized that this job was probably perverted and that, if not, he would probably face a lawsuit or be retaliated against. Although he had always been fearless and unafraid, he was concerned if he got into trouble, his days would be uncomfortable, so he braved the heavy rain to return to Xiao Qing Shan before the sun even came up.

Ji XiaoYu felt he would lose face by talking about this event and that it couldn’t be clearly explained anyway. It would seriously damage the name of Xiao Qing Shan’s “top fighting bird”, so he hid this story and didn’t tell Hou ChangSheng the truth, only saying he came back because he got tired of the work.

Hou ChangSheng didn’t doubt him, just nodded and said: “It’s good to come back. From the outside, the sensual human world looks bright and lively, but, in fact, there are numerous dark places. If someone finds out you aren’t a human, but a spiritual beast, they would definitely find a way to capture you as a living experiment. Some human beings are more sinister and greedy than spiritual beasts and the evil they can commit is unimaginable. Don’t reveal anything about the egg, in order to protect it from being stolen by those evil guys.”

Ji XiaoYu felt a little troubled in his heart. He looked down at the little white egg in his hand and asked with a sigh: “Grandpa Hou, then what should I do?”

After the previous turmoil, he had accepted the fact that he had given birth to an egg. Since he couldn’t just throw it away, he had to shoulder the responsibility of being a father.

As for the bastard who left him with an egg, let him die!

Hou ChangSheng said: “Start incubating the egg from today. Your father said that the pheasant spirit’s eggs are no different than ordinary eggs. He spent a certain amount of time every day to incubating the egg. The chick didn’t come out for 10 months, but the chick could turn into the form of a human baby one month after. Following your father’s experience with you, you’re going to have to raise a baby in the future.”

Ji XiaoYu was suddenly struck dumb. Saying the chick should be like an ordinary pheasant, it could be fed grass seeds and wild worms, etc., and it’d be okay, but how should the human form of the baby be raised?

He was completely clueless about this and could only continue to ask for advice.

“It is a troublesome thing to raise a child. But it’s easier than become enlightened and taking a human form.” Hou ChangSheng couldn’t help but sigh as he reminisced. “The baby’s stomach is delicate, so raw, hard, salty, and spicy things can’t be eaten. You don’t have breast milk, so you’ll have to make special baby milk powder, and then add something like rice paste, meat broth, and vegetable juice according to the age group. From time to time, you’ll have to change the diapers because of poop or something. Looking back now, it wasn’t easy for me to raise you when I was an old man.”

The old monkey couldn’t express the extent of his lament.

“Thank you, Grandpa Hou, it was really hard on you.” Ji XiaoYu was both grateful and frightened. “Where did you get my milk powder, rice, diapers, and whatever?”

“I went to the human mall to buy it, ah. Your father left me a sum of money on his deathbed, prepared for your future use. The things little babies use are really not cheap. One of the better milk powder cans was 100 to 200 yuan and your child can eat a lot from a young age. A can of milk powder will be empty after a few days. In a few years, all the money your father left will be spent.”

Hou ChangSheng paused and asked: “Xiao Yu, you should have made some money from your work during this past year? Now it’s going to come in handy.”

Ji XiaoYu listened and cried bitterly in his heart, he had made some money, but the money wasn’t on him, ah, he was now a penniless poor man!

When he was a service staff at the hotel in Xing Cheng, his salary was okay. In a month, after eating, there was 3000 yuan left, and, because he lived a simple life and didn’t need to spend much, most of it was saved. Additionally, because he also didn’t use a bank card and instead found pleasure in counting the banknotes, every time he was paid, he asked the financial department to directly pay cash and then locked it in his locker in a black garbage bag. After saving 30,000 yuan in a year, he could have covered a whole bed with it.

But! Later, after that mess, he ran away after beating the hotel owner and didn’t even think about taking the money from the locker. Now, after half a year, it was impossible to go back and get it.

To have so vainly lost 30,000 yuan, equivalent to almost a whole year’s work, remembering this made Ji XiaoYu think of nothing but regret.

30,000 yuan! Even if a can of milk powder was 200 yuan, that could only buy 150 cans, enough for the chick to drink for just a little while.

Now how great, all of it had been squandered!

Hou ChangSheng didn’t realize Ji XiaoYu was suffering from heartache, he just patted him on the shoulder happily: “XiaoYu, in the blink of an eye, you also are now becoming a father. Congratulations! It seems that the firecrackers this morning were perfectly timed, letting everyone celebrate for you.”

Ji XiaoYu’s heart was dripping blood. He jerked the corners of his mouth and forced on a smile that was uglier than tears.

Hou ChangSheng finally said cheerfully: “Okay, don’t delay your incubating, Grandpa Hou will go back first. When the chick hatches, don’t forget to share the good news with everyone!”

After sending the red-faced old monkey away, Ji XiaoYu stared gloomily at the little white egg in his hand for a long time. Finally, he made a major decision – 𝘧r𝘦𝗲w𝘦𝚋𝐧o𝘷𝘦𝙡.co𝑚

He wanted to return to the human world, enter society again, work, earn money, and raise the baby!

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Footnotes:

1. Startled (受惊): homonym for fertilized/inseminated

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