Rising Phoenix

In the end, you stand on two lands sharing a gaze. How is it not better to throw away this one heart filled with love.

A quiet smile touched Feng Zhiwei’s lips.

Sometimes she impressed even herself with her wisdom.

Even then she had already foreseen the pain and loneliness that came when happiness failed, wise even in her youth to the misery that fate had long since arranged.

She gently lifted the drum stick, flicking her hand and sweeping the golden handle in a brilliant curve.

“Dong.”

The muffled blow died powerlessly, covered by the weight of the night.

The Seventh Layer, Crapapple Sauce Steamed Bun.

The steamed bun she had hid in her clothes to save herself from the cunning, vicious Fifth Prince’s blade.

“Who will you save?”

Some questioned need not be asked for the answer is clear to all. The world or the beauty? — Ning Yi was not the storied Emperor Li who would lay waste to his empire for the woman he loved, and Feng Zhiwei was not some demonic concubine of legend to overthrow the world with her beauty.

That day when he had first warned her so casually of the Golden Feather Guard.

“All ministers should tread carefully.”

“It has always been the case that anyone who wants to keep their life must be very careful.”

Feng Zhiwei, you had still been too stupid, too foolish.

You could see the uncrossable gap of the Chu River and Han Border between you and he, but still you were blind to the plotting by your side.

Feng Zhiwei picked up the steamed bun and slowly chewed. Dijing was far away and the bun was already dry and stale and hard, but still she chewed, caught so deep in memory that she could almost see that veranda by the Imperial Study.

Then, the steamed bun had been soft and her smile easy, memories of a different world.

Slowly, she finished the bun.

Tasteless.

In the eighth layer, a pine cone.

“Let’s talk to the neighbor above us and ask for something to eat.”

The rightful owner of the lofty pine tree could only flee before Feng Zhiwei’s glib tongue, abandoning its cache to the new king of the mountain.

“The evil of people is greater than that of animals. Beasts will rarely attack you unprovoked, or betray you, or humiliate you, or mock you, but people will.”

Just as she had emptied the squirrel’s winter stores, she too had all her treasures stolen by another.

Such were the turns of fate; such are the laws of the world.

The ninth layer, some dried fish.

On arrival in South Sea when Zhou Xizhong had tried to cow them into submission, the dried fish the peasants had thrown that they had used to prepare dinner.

“His Highness will set the table, Master Wei will cook, and we invite Commissioner Zhou to tend the fire.”

Setting the table and cooking dinner together was nothing but housework for an ordinary family, but for them it had been the most luxuriant dream.

The tenth layer, pine-nut pastry and mint cake.

These were two very ordinary desserts, and though she quite enjoyed them, their meaning did not seem equal to the other gifts.

Feng Zhiwei frowned and fell into deep thought. Had Ning Yi just sent her southern food that she liked?

But then her mind dredged up the image. A man and woman embracing by the window, his hand on her naked shoulder, her face by his exposed chest.

Behind them on the table, dessert prepared for her return.

Something she had barely noticed in the moment, yet her mind still remembered.

He had prepared desserts for her after that seafood feast, but instead of welcoming her back, they had both stumbled upon a grave misunderstanding.

“One day, I will be that simple woman. But a simple woman is only suitable for a simple man and a simple life. When that time comes, I hope to have a small house and a few acres of fertile land and a simple, fitting man who still stand for me when I am downtrodden, who will take up a blade when I am betrayed, who will stay with me by the fire when I am down, and who will hate my tears and hold me when I cry.”

Ah… Ning Yi, we both knew what lies we spoke. You could never be an ordinary man, and I could never be an ordinary woman.

All our lies we could only fake smiles, not even allowed to cry.

Who can cast aside the concerns of men? Who can forget the long years?

Eleventh Layer.

Feng Zhiwei had almost expected the a Phoenix Tail-Wood box, but inside lay a short branch, withered and marked haphazardly by fingers.

She studied it for a long while and eventually turned to the last layer.

There at the bottom of the basket lay a letter.

Feng Zhiwei stared down at the letter. She had read so many letters written in his hand, the warm South Sea breeze in her hair, her heart filled with delight.

She had reread them so many times as they sailed out and destroyed the pirate coves.

Letters that traveled a thousand miles to reach your hand, opened with such tender expectation, read with such longing and concern and wistful joy.

Yet now, though the sights were the same and the letters changeless, her heart and long since left them behind.

“His highness has very deep feelings for you. But no matter how deep his attachment to you, it cannot be deeper than his attachment to the world. You must be prepared.”

Clever, brilliant Hua Qiong, so wise, so unheeded.

“Hua Qiong, people who have died once already sometimes come back with different ideas and attitudes. She will try to live harder and better. She will want to cherish rare moments of kindness, and let go of all her restraint and sometimes just follow her heart.”

So she had let go of the reins and trusted the world to lead her, throwing caution to the wind.

Ning Yi, what more is there to say?

An explanation — perhaps. A plea for forgiveness — impossible. Or just business between strangers? That seemed most likely.

Feng Zhiwei smiled mirthlessly, picking up the letter and reading it by moonlight.

But just as she was applauding herself for her guess, her expression changed.

“I saw these marks on the short tree outside the side palace. Were these by your hand? Did you strangle this as if it were me? Fine, but why did you not wait for my arrival so you could strangle me in person?”

She looked down at the marks on the branch.

On that snowy day she had wandered outside the side palace and lingered beneath a random tree. She had been mindless and soulless and had no idea what she had done to that tree.

To think he had tracked down this random branch and managed to decipher the marks.

Feng Zhiwei smiled, no happiness reaching her eyes.